//------------------------------// // Extra: Pen Pal Pandemonium 2 // Story: Baen of Equestria // by CrypticMetaphor //------------------------------// Dear Baen, When and how did you lose your virginity? If you do not wish to tell us, how many mares have you slept with? From Tehrandompon Dear Tehrandompon, How many mares have I slept with you ask? WHen and how did I lose my virginity? I am afraid I cannot say, those are stories I reserve for stallions who are my comrades or friends. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, How do you think you'd fare if you were to cross swords with a certain power hungry half-demon? Ya know, slicked back white hair, wears a blue blazer, is kinda a douche, who may or may not wield a demon blade capable of cutting through any and everything. -- From Dante Dear Baen, Please ignore my idiotic brother, Dante's, letter as I'm sure a pony such as yourself has better things to do than ponder the obvious consequences of crossing paths with a demon who more than likely would wipe the floor with your lifeless carcass should I be given the opportunity. Note that this is not a matter of "if" but more of a matter of "when". -- From Vergil Dear Dante & Vergil, Though I may not look like it, I have engaged demons and other creatures of such ilk in combat before. Though I have not met either of you. I must say the prospect of engaging you,Vergil, in combat, is most intriguing. If you and I ever meet, I would wish to engage you in a duel. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, I know what you think about at night, and you should be very ashamed of yourself. Sincerely, - Mantis Dear Baen, Please disregard Mantis's uncouth attitude and prying into your private affairs. He's been moody ever since I forbade from using the treasury to purchase a month's supply of very high quality coffee beans. In any case, I am very curious, What sort of magical weaves and spell signatures existed for unicorns during your time in the pre-Discordian era? If you, however, cannot answer that, then can you at least tell me how you keep your axe sharp? Rainbow Dash, Adna, and Dumah are curious about that. Sincerely Yours, - Twilight Sparkle, Princess Dear Mantis, Do I know you? If so, you either entirely insane or very foolish to think you can read my mind. -Baen Dear Twilight, I assume you are not MY Twilight, most likely one from another realm like this. I am not sure who this Adna and Dumah are, but in answer to your question about my axe. It's made of a rare ore known as Orachulum. When it's forged into a weapon, it never loses it's edge or sharpness no matter how many times it's used. Though, it can be broken, the ore is quite sturdy indeed. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, What would you do if your evening with Coco resulted in a little barbarian colt or warrior princess running around? Would you consider making the mare your betrothed? -An ally in high places Dear Baen, What ever min consort hath asked of thou, We understand if thou dost not want to release your secrets. Having said that, even a stallion of quality such as yourself must have needs. Have thou considered the friends of Our sister's students, or even Twilight herself? Or perhaps those thou currently dwell with? Or even Our sister? We know that she thinks very highly of thou flanks. -Your Princess, Luna Autem Noctis (Sorry, dude, she gets a bit 'traditional speak' sometimes. Anyway, I'd suggest Twilight. Mare's wound up so tight it's amazing half of Equestria hasn't been destroyed. Give her a good seeing to,would you? An ally in high places.) Dear Ally & Luna, Well if we ever do lay with each other and we do conceive, I would have no choice, I'd have to hang up my axe. As for me laying with my housemates, Twilight and her friends? I have answered that, but my previous answer of maybe stands. Your sister Celestia on the other hoof...well she does have a nice figure and her flanks....one moment I must be alone. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, Are you and Coco a couple and, if so, why didn't she come with you or make it known that you and her are a couple? -Moongaze14 Dear Moongaze14, Well we are doing what she calls, 'taking it slow', but I suppose you could consider us a couple. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, What are your thoughts on Attack on Titan? -Trolleroids Dear Trolleroids, Attacking titan class creatures is quite difficult, but it yields quite the thrill. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, would you ever want to settle down and make a family with Coco? Also, any family bonding with Cheerilee? -musicman722 Dear Musicman722, Well she is quite a kind and gentle mare indeed, but I can't marry. I'm a young warrior that has so much to see and explore, I can't give that up yet. -Baen ________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Baen, Did you get in trouble when threw BlueBlood all the way to the door because you know he a prince and all. -RM p.s. Between you and me I wouldn't mind punching his face with his snob and arrogant attitudes, it was righteous that you did that. Dear RM, Surprisingly enough, the guards and the royals didn't say a word. Though the ponce seemed angered. Heh, I welcome him to try and seek retribution. Would give me the excuse to throttle him some more, in my opinion they should make it a sport.