//------------------------------// // Chapter 22: The Enchanting Scenery // Story: The Unity Pact // by Truthseeker //------------------------------// Cinlel Duron, Razor Wit, had to leave right after Celestia did so I was left with the two Guards who were normally in my room. Celestia had introduced them as Quick Reflex and Brass Stones. Celestia had also left me the means to bathe myself, finally. I had been asking for personal grooming supplies for the past three weeks and she had finally remembered. I was getting tired of having the Unicorn doctor, the MARE Unicorn Doctor gave me sponge baths every three days. My room didn't have a shower or anyplace to bathe myself but before she left, Celestia told me there was a shower on the floor where patients could be assisted. I declined the assistance but I was more than happy to bathe myself for the first time in almost a month. I opened the stiff, thick, brown fabric bag Celestia had left me and took inventory of the contents as I set each one out on my bed, "Comb," I chuckled at the next item, "Heh, horse hair brush, toothbrush, toothpaste in," I could understand much more Velensovth than I could speak and I could read it very well, "Chrysanthemum flavor?" I cringed at the thought, "Eew. Shaving powder and a brush and pestle, a straight razor," I cocked an eyebrow, "Oi, that's going to take some getting-used-to, shampoo," I opened the lid and took a sniff, "Mmm, spring lilacs, coat wash with the scent of jasmine, a wash cloth, a . . . very tightly folded towel . . . " I pulled out the final item with an arched eyebrow, "Cologne?" I unscrewed the cap and took a sniff, recoiling in disgust, "Ugh! Otter-musk!? Where did they ever get the idea THAT smelled good?" I stuffed everything back into the bag and headed for the door, "I is needing bathing." I said in broken Velensovth. Quick Reflex and Brass Stones followed me out of the room, wordlessly. I had gained a small fraction of my old strength back in that I could walk around for quite a while without nearly passing out from exhaustion. I walked slowly down the hallway, checking each room to see if it looked like the shower Celestia had mentioned. I reached the end of the hallway without locating it. I looked around the intersection and spotted a door off to the left of the Nurse's Station that was inscribed with the Kavim symbol for bathing. The symbol was easy to spot. A white painted Kavim head sticking out of a blue painted tub is fairly easy to identify on a door placard. I walked over and opened the door. Personal note, Kavim-made doors are more than twice the height of average Kavim. I had spent some time thinking about that after I first came out of the apparent coma I had been in. My only guess is that a visit from one of the Princesses was a possibility and the builders wished to be as accommodating as possible. In any case, it meant that an average person can walk through most Kavim doors without bending over. I took a look around the little wash room and I was not entirely displeased with what I saw. There was a toilet, I'll NEVER get used to those, a sink and a cordoned off shower, the roof of which was a bit more than six feet off the ground. I could sit down in the shower and scrub to my heart's content. I needed to use the toilet first so I closed the door on Quick Reflex and Brass Stones and faced the 'u' shaped commode. I turned around and bent over then bent my knees and lowered myself then backed up to the accursed thing until my thighs touched the edges. It was as uncomfortable then as it had been the first time I used one, albeit far less humiliating. I did my business then headed to the shower. Hot water is a wondrous thing if you've been bathed in lukewarm water for weeks on end. I scrubbed and washed and washed again and scrubbed some more. I was bright pink and squeaky clean by the time I was done. The water was still running hot so I decided to try out shaving. Bad idea. I managed to get all the scruff off my face, but I must have cut myself eight times in the process. I neglected to take into account my ugly-assed, disfigured face so the misshapen formations of bone made for 'rocky terrain'. I wasn't new to using extremely sharp blades for fine work, I studied a bit of Kung Fu after all, but shaving was tricky. I emerged from the shower stall and knelt down, then wiped the condensation from the mirror so I could see my reflection. It was bad. Without my scruffy beard to hide part of my face, my disfigured head was obvious and hideous. The cuts I gave myself shaving didn't help matters any either. I had put on a tiny bit of weight but I still looked more like a skeleton than a man. I reached into the shower bag and withdrew the Otter Musk Cologne. I looked at the label dubiously. It had a drawn picture of a brown otter leaping from the water into the air with its back curved into the shape of a 'C'. It was very well drawn but I just couldn't see the appeal of the scent. Shrugging away my concerns, I unscrewed the cap and splashed a generous amount into my left hand. I set down the bottle and rubbed my hands together then applied both to my face. An impressive string of expletives, colorful metaphors, and one great big 'DAMN-IT' later, I pulled myself off the floor and back into a kneeling position. I looked into the mirror and saw Quick Reflex and Brass Stones swiftly withdraw their heads and close the door. I grumbled to myself and took another look in the mirror half expecting to see my face burned off. What I wasn't expecting was to see the cuts were all gone. I looked and looked and even prodded a few places, but there was no sign of the cuts, "Magical healing cologne." I said quietly, "Nice." Two weeks prior, Celestia had sat down and explained a tiny bit about 'magic'. The Kavim proper name translation for 'magic' was Thamaturgic Energy, magic was apparently just a 'common term'. As I understood it, almost everything in Equestria had some measure of magic in it. The Kavim considered the study of Thamaturgic Energy to be a science right alongside Zoology, Physics, and Chemistry. They infused bits of 'Formed Thamaturgic Energy' a.k.a. spells, into some personal products, apparently that included cologne. I was pleased with the result even if it did sting like hell. I replaced everything in the shower bag and wrapped the towel around my middle then rolled it down to make a type of kilt. I opened the door and walked out of the bathroom feeling like a new man. Quick Reflex and Brass Stones silently followed me back to my room and watched with passive interest as I put the shower bag on the bed. I sat down on the bed and withdrew the brush then proceeded to brush my hair. It reached down to my shoulders but was thankfully, naturally straight. I didn't have anything to tie it with and honestly I was tempted to just cut it off using the straight razor, but I decided against it. I sat back against the head of the bed and curled my knees up underneath me. I thought about my friends and I couldn't help but wonder how they were doing. That train of thought unfortunately led me to thinking about my family and especially my wife. I wondered how Mom and Dad were doing. My Mother was a Customer Support Service Provider at a messaging service and my Father was the Computer Networking Administrator for the local school system. My Brother, Brian, was a Mechanical Engineer, a real genius. He had graduated with his Masters Degree in only four years at the technical institute in Virginia. My Sister, Cheryl, was married to a structural engineer and had two boys. I thought about them for a while, wondering how they were doing, what had happened in their lives, and how they were handling my disappearance. I then thought about my Wife, Danielle Lelani. I began picturing her in my head, but stopped after a few seconds when I felt queasy. I could feel myself tearing up quickly and tried desperately to focus on something else. I picked up the hand-written notes I had left on the bedside table and began pouring myself into them. I focused all my concentration on memorizing my notes and everything else faded into the background. * * * It was night time before Razor Wit came back. I was so focused on my notes that I didn't even notice she had come back until she waved her hoof in front of my face. My attention snapped back to the present and I looked out the window. It was night, fairly late at night by my guess. I bit my lip and looked back to Razor. She was carrying a pair of saddle bags that were much larger than those I'd seen her with before. Her normal ones were perhaps half-gallon sized each, the ones she was wearing right then were so big they took up her entire sides. Each bag looked to be two and a half feet long, probably a good nine inches wide, and at least two feet deep. The sides and edges of the bags were too crisp and formed to be simple fabric, I guessed there was wood paneling on the inside to help them maintain their form. In any case, the saddle bags were absolutely stuffed to the brim. I could see quill feathers poking out of a flap. I had only one possession aside from the blanket I had been wearing when they brought me there. I had asked Razor about it and she said it was too shredded to be useful and they had to destroy it. So it was that I wore only a towel around my waist and had my sole possession, my shower bag, on my bed. Razor was standing three feet in front of me, smiling hugely. Her horn lit up and from behind her floated a brown fabric bag that honestly looked like an old haversack. It had an adjustable shoulder strap with a brass buckle and the load-bearing portion of the bag was rectangular with at least two compartments I could see, one large one for the main carriage area, and one smaller one in front for smaller things. The term 'smaller' was a bit subjective since I guessed my entire shower bag could fit inside. I held out my hands to receive the bag. I had already learned that my hands seemed to act like a grounding wire for spells. I had no idea why it happened and I kicked myself for forgetting to ask Celestia about it yet again. Needless to say, I knew that if I were to grab the bag, Razor Wit would end up on the receiving end of a nasty magic style backlash. It was so strange. Razor and I had experimented with it a bit and found that levitated objects that touched my skin were unaffected, until they reached my wrists. The only parts of my body that grounded magic were my hands, go figure. That being the case, I simply held out my hands to receive the bag. Razor's aura vanished and the bag dropped into my waiting hands, and nearly fell off the bed. The bag felt like it was lined with lead. I managed to catch my balance and hefted the bag with an accompanying jingle of metal that sounded suspiciously like coins. I hauled the weighty bag onto the bed and proceeded to open the main pocket. Inside was a much small, purple, felt-covered sack, the mouth sealed with draw-strings, that strongly reminded me of a Crown Royal bag. I pulled open the mouth and dumped out a small pile of coins. The coins looked to be made of gold but some were obviously much more thick than others. I examined the coins carefully and made an interesting discovery. The smallest denomination of coin had a 1 on it, the next step up had an 8, then a 16, a 32, a 64, and a 128. There had to be a couple dozen coins in the bag. I pulled the drawstrings closed and put the sack back in the bag. I stuffed my shower bag into the main pocket and closed the bag then slid it over my shoulder. I took a moment to examine the bag itself. It was finely crafted, made with thick fabric that I figured would be very difficult to rip, cut, or tear. The main pocket was about two feet deep, about eighteen inches long, and five inches wide. The smaller pocket was about eighteen inches deep, roughly a foot long, and three inches wide. Both featured a pair of straps, each with a buckle to hold the flaps down. I could tell that the shoulder strap had been lengthened substantially, probably a custom job specifically for me. I was truly touched. I looked up at Razor and pointed to her. Razor shook her head, "Celestia." I understood pretty easily and I figured the money was from her as well, probably 'starter money' since I was leaving and would, at least partially, have to fend for myself. I looked back up to Razor and thought about what I wanted to say very carefully before I said it, "Where . . . when are we going?" Razor smiled at me and nodded her head, "As soon as the Guards have the carriage ready." she answered slowly in Velensovth. I nodded my head and took the time to organize my notes and pack them away in my new shoulder bag, along with my pencils and spare paper. I kept out a few sheets of paper that Celestia had given me for a comparison cheat sheet. It also had descriptions of different types of Kavim magic. I decided to read over her notes and try to memorize them. "Equestrian Units Of Measure: Stone: one eighth of the maximum amount of weight that an average Kavim, no matter what breed, is able to carry without being encumbered or slowed down, roughly 14 lbs. of weight. Most common unit of measure for weight. Heft: the maximum amount of weight that an average Kavim, no matter what breed, is able to carry without being encumbered or slowed down, roughly 112 lbs. Hoof: the width of a hoof of an average Kavim, roughly 4.5 inches of length. Most common unit of measure to determine height or length of a living creature. Fathom: eight Hooves, also the average length of the Kavim body, roughly 3 feet of length. Most common unit of measure for short distance. Furlong: sixteen Fathoms, roughly 48 feet of length. Most common unit of measure for medium distance. League: thirty-two Furlongs, roughly 1,536 feet of length. Most common unit of measure for long distance. Day: 24 hours. Week: 7 days. Month: 36 or 37 days depending on month. Half the months are 36 days and half the months are 37 days. Year: 10 Months Magic: Unicorn Magic Levels For Noun And Verb: Add the level of all the Nouns to the level of all the Verbs, then divide by 19 to achieve the Final Magic Level of a Unicorn. 1 Average Adult Unicorn Example: Royal Guard Private or Corporal 2 Casual Practitioner Example: Royal Guard Sargent or Lieutenant 3 Dedicated Practitioner Example: Royal Guard Regimental Commander 4 Specialist Example: Royal Guard Captain 5 Prodigy Example: Princess Twilight Sparkle 6 Arch Magus Example: Starswirl The Bearded 7 Elemental Example: Queen Chrysalis 8 Archon Example: King Sombra 9 Cosmic Manipulator Example: Princesses Celestia and Luna 10 Constructor Of Fate Example: Discord Unicorn Magic Categories And Levels: Unicorn Magic Verbs: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through the Unicorn's muscles which can be channeled and utilized. Determines the potency of the Magical Verb or Verbs being used in a spell. Ranges between 1-10 based on development of Innate Unicorn Magic. Create Destroy Change Comprehend Control Repair Sustain Unicorn Magic Nouns: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through a Unicorn's bones, and especially horn, which can be channeled and utilized. Determines what amount of each Noun that can be affected by the spell. Ranges from 1-10 based on development of Innate Unicorn Magic. Fire Water Earth Air Flesh Plants Illusion Magic Mind Spirit Time Space Concentrated Focus: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through the Unicorn's mind which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine magical dexterity, fine manipulation, the use of multiple simultaneous spells etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Unicorn Magic. Pegasus Magic Categories And Levels: Wing Power: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through a Pegasus' flight muscles and feathers which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine speed, agility, and sustainability etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Pegasus Magic. Also used for special abilities such as Feather Blade and other such abilities. Force: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through a Pegasus' head which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine to what lengths a Pegasus can focus on or interact with the world, their own bodies, others etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Pegasus Magic. Also for special abilities such as The Sight and other such abilities. Body Power: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through a Pegasus' bones and skin which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine reduction of weight, density of body etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Pegasus Magic. Also for special abilities such as Cloud Walking and other such abilities. Earth Pony Magic Categories And Levels: Earth Manipulation: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through an Earth Pony's hooves which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine sensitivity to and control of soil, stone, metal etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Earth Pony Magic. Also used for special abilities such as Tremor Sense and other such abilities. Fortitude: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through an Earth Pony's muscles and bones which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine strength, agility, stamina, bone density etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Earth Pony Magic. Also used for special abilities such as Solid Body and other such abilities. World Flow Attunement: Denotes the amount of magic flowing through an Earth Pony's mind which can be channeled and utilized. Used to determine how freely Latent Natural Magic flows around and through the Earth Pony allowing them to experience premonitions and invoke minor bending of reality etc. Ranges between 2-20 based on development of Innate Earth Pony Magic. Also used for (Pony's name) Sense and other such abilities." I read over the cheat sheet several times, trying to remember all the information while Razor laid down on the floor and busied herself with her own notes. After a while a third Pegasus Guard appeared at the door to my room. "It is time to go." he said in a deep voice. I carefully placed the notes inside my new shoulder bag and slipped it on, then stood up. Razor levitated her notes back into her bag but seemed to be having some trouble rising from her spot on the floor. I offered her my hands, but she declined with a shake of her head and struggled into a standing position by herself. I watched the new Guard, he seemed fidgety for some reason. His wings kept shifting slightly and his hooves couldn't seem to stay still, but if Razor Wit, Quick Reflex, or Brass Stones noticed it, they never gave any indication. I shrugged it off and approached the Pegasus Guard, "I is ready." in Velensolvth, 'Gano oom mulsu.' "Den," Razor Wit corrected me smoothly. "Gano den mulsu." I said quickly, 'I am ready.' The Pegasus' expression never wavered but his wings ruffled more than ever. * * * Swift Wind led the Human, Razor Wit, and his two Pegasi out of the room and down the hallway. He was nervous being so close to a Human. He kept his professional mask up though, he wasn't about to let it be known that the Human gave him 'the willies'. He triple checked the preparations in his mind, 'Hallways have been cleared with Guards stationed at every door along our route, so nopony sees the Human. Peach Pit has his Unicorns maintaining an illusion around the hospital doors and for twenty Fathoms in every direction as well as the enchantment on the chariot to only allow Ponies to be visible. And finally two Pegasi Guards to pull the chariot with Brass Stones, Quick Reflex, and I as escort. Alright, everything should be in place, I just hope this Human doesn't decide to do anything behind my back.' Swift led the small parade into the main floor and took a right, down the stairwell he had designated on the route. The two Guards at the stairwell doors nodded to him and pulled open the hinged oaken portals. He led them down the stairs at a casual walk, his eyes scanning every direction. Princess Celestia had been very specific about the fact that she did not want the Human to be seen. Let the citizens think what they would, but the Human must not be seen. Swift Wind couldn't argue the directive, Humans could be dangerous. They exited the stairwell with Swift in the lead. He poked his head out of the doors and looked around to ensure everything was safe. A precisely straight line of Guards standing at unwavering attention in front of every door assured him that all was well. He opened the doors and led the procession through the first floor of the hospital. They passed three Nurse's Stations, all the way to the rear entrance without seeing a single Pony aside from the Guards. Swift poked his head out of the rear doors and double checked to make sure everypony was in place. Satisfied with what he saw, he led the way to the chariot waiting a mere six Fathoms away from the doors. * * * I was nervous as all hell, 'Why is this Pegasus so fidgety and what's with all the Guards? Did they lock down the whole hospital just for me? Why is it so important that I not be seen? What's going on?' I was starting to get scared, 'Did Celestia mean what she said or is she planning something else? Was that why she was grinning like that? If so then where are they taking me?' I realized I was starting to get panicky just as soon as we stepped out of what looked like a back door, 'Back door? When I worked at Meryview Hospital we only ever brought PRISONERS out of the back doors!' I looked around and saw dozens of armored Kavim. They were standing all around the chariot that seemed to be waiting for us. The sight of the chariot calmed me down somewhat, 'At least it's going to be an open ride.' I loomed at the sides of the gilded contraption, 'Oi, those railings sure are small. I'm going to have to duck down in order to keep out of sight.' I shrugged, it wasn't the end of the world. I let Razor Wit board the chariot first, 'I'm still a gentleman even in a different world, thank you very much.' I boarded right behind her. I hadn't realized exactly how small it was. Razor, by herself, took up more than half the room in the chariot. I carefully inched my way into the back and leaned forward for balance. It was uncomfortable. I used my left leg and gently nudged Razor to the left so I could get a good grip on the front rail. She politely moved aside and let me have my grip. I lowered myself onto my bony knees. That wasn't going to work, so I rolled over onto my behind and sat down facing the open back of the chariot. I looked around and realized my head still rose above the rail so I slouched as much as I could. It wasn't completely uncomfortable so I sighed and rested my muscles. Razor Wit looked down at me in puzzlement, or at least I THINK that was the meaning of the expression. Kavim facial expressions aren't all that telling, it's their body language that speaks the loudest, or that's my hypotheses at least. In any case, I couldn't easily identify most expressions yet, so I just guessed based on previous experiences and my best estimations. She shrugged, that expression is easy to identify, and spoke to the nervous Pegasus, "We're ready." I really needed to try out some of the Kavim abbreviated words, but I was too chicken to try. They had an abbreviation almost half the words in their language. On the plus side, literally every American abbreviation had a translation in Velensovth, and almost every single one of them was exact. I felt the chariot start moving, slowly at first, but it quickly picked up speed. Dear Lord that thing was bumpy. The Kavim who were pulling the chariot were moving at a fair clip and the chariot bounced wildly as they went faster and faster. I closed my eyes and reached my arms over my head and gripped the rail. I began to fear my teeth would fall out when the road suddenly became smooth as silk. I opened my eyes and looked out the back of the chariot, 'Huh, looks like we're on an incline.' I watched Canterlot growing smaller and smaller as the whole city was laid out in front of me. It was beautiful almost beyond words. The hospital alone was a pristine white stone building that rose six stories high. I looked at other surrounding buildings and lo and behold, every single one of them was shining white. The moonlight over the city made the entire panorama shine almost as if the structures themselves emitted the light. High towers with golden peaks gleamed and shimmered in the light. Small windows dotting the city shined down on the world below like glimpses of heaven itself. A waterfall off to my right reflected the moonlight in a liquid prismatic spray so pure and intense I nearly choked up. And high above it all, looming over the entire city like a colossal guardian, was the Royal Palace. Its towers and parapets rose high above the clouds with gleaming archways draped with colorful flags running between each tower. Huge, wide windows dotting the towers, walls, and main chambers lent the Palace an air of life; and standing regally, silhouetted in one of the highest windows was a pair of Alicorns. One was brilliant, shining white, just like the city, and the other was a darker color with smaller pinpoints of light all around, like the clearest night sky. I was hypnotized, it was so beautiful. I simply sat in place and stared as the city on the mountain gradually shrank away. A thought occurred to me as we rose level with the top of the Palace, 'We must be on one heck of a smooth . . . and tall mountain.' I screwed up my courage and peeked as far downward as I could. I could see the tops of trees below us and suddenly it clicked, 'Oh we're flying, that makes more sense . . . WUT!?' I froze, stuck in my seated position as the impossibility bit me, 'We're FLYING?' I thought, 'How?' We had been moving fairly quickly on the ground but nowhere near the kind of speed necessary to get airborne. I watched the trees pass below us almost sluggishly, 'We're going maybe twenty-three miles per hour, maybe. How in the name of Physics are we flying? We shouldn't be flying, how are we flying?' Maintaining a death grip on the rail, I shakily rose to my knees and looked down in front of the chariot. The treetops were even farther away than they were before. I turned my eyes to the two Pegasi who were hitched up to the front of the chariot. Their wings were flapping and their legs were pumping almost as of they were both flying and running on the air. The wind blowing in my face was strong and icy cold. I hadn't realized until that point that it was freezing, I was freezing. I didn't dare wrap my arms around my body for fear of falling off the back of the short chariot, 'How is this possible!?' I looked around and noticed three other Pegasi flying in a wide 'V' formation around us. Something caught my eye suddenly, 'Huh, the other three Pegasi have their legs tucked up against their undercarriage.' I looked back and forth between the Pegasi pulling the chariot and the ones flying formation around us, 'Celestia's notes on Kavim magic did mention something about Pegasus magic having three different features. Maybe the ones pulling the chariot have to use two different ones at the same time in order for their magic to affect whatever they're pulling?' It was possible, hell it was the only possibility I had to work with. It seemed just as plausible as anything else in the world that was explained with magic. I decided to just roll with it and not think about it anymore, 'Forget it. I'll ask about it later.' I resolved myself to try to enjoy the improbable flight as much as I could, given the excruciatingly cold wind. I looked down and all around the world below us. Trees grew thick, tall, and healthy while numerous rivers and streams wound their way across the landscape. I raised my eyes and attempted to spot our likely destination. I saw a few flickering lights in the distance and was about to ask about them when something else ripped my attention away. Off to our left was a huge, thick forest stretching as far as the eye could see. There was something decidedly different about that forest. The thick woods below us stopped a quarter of a mile away from the new forest. The trees of the forest seemed familiar to me, almost like home. There was something about the place that called to me, like a siren's song. I stared at the forest for a long time. I was staring at it so intensely that the rest of the world just seemed to fade away from my every perception. I lost track of sounds, my body no longer felt cold, my tongue seemed to freeze in my mouth, and the normally prevalent scent of Kavim just faded away like background noise. As I continued to stare at the forest my vision seemed to zoom in, like I was looking through a telescope. The trees began to focus much more clearly. I could see every branch, every leaf, and every glowing, yellow eye that peered out of the inky darkness. I was curious, I wanted to know more about the mysterious forest. I wanted, no, I needed to know more. I could almost feel myself slowly drifting toward it. I felt something, somewhere on my body. It was distant and unimportant. I pushed against it and continued heeding the inaudible call. I heard a sound, but it seemed to be miles away. I ignored the noise, it wasn't pertinent to the invitation I felt pressing against my soul. I felt something push against my body and I mindlessly pushed back. I couldn't be distracted. A flicker of motion broke my line of sight. I blinked hard, 'What was I doing?' I couldn't remember. I blinked several more times and my eyes came into focus. One of the Pegasi had his face half an inch from the end of my nose. I pulled my head back and looked around. I was standing up against the left side of the chariot. Not only that, I was leaning over the side with my right leg already up on the rail as if I were ready to jump. I slowly lowered my leg and eased myself back into a sitting position inside the chariot and lowered my head so I couldn't see the forest. I was freezing cold, shivering and frigid. I looked up and found Razor Wit's eyes staring at me fearfully, 'I must have pushed her out of the way. Aw shit.' "What . . . was . . . that . . . place?" I asked in broken Velensovth. Razor Wit's eyebrows knitted together in what I was fairly certain was concern, "The Everfree Forest." she spoke very slowly so I could understand her, "It is a bad place. Old magic, not natural." I decided to try an abbreviation, "Ganden junlei." 'I'm sorry'. Razor Wit shook her head then leaned over and nuzzled the left side of my face, "It is alright. Everfree draws in Kavim also." her tone went sad, "It calls them to their deaths linurtenca." "Linurtenca?" I asked, "What . . . means?" Razor put her right fore hoof to her chin in thought, "Occasionally." she said, using a word I recognized, then tried it in American, "S-some . . . time." "Ah," I said, "Linurtenca means sometimes." I said in American, I repeated the word over and over, trying to memorize it, "Linurtenca means sometimes. Linurtenca means sometimes." I was so distracted I almost missed the air warming up. We landed as smoothly as I would imagine is possible in an old fashioned chariot. Razor Wit, seemingly untouched by the cold, hopped right out of the chariot and onto the cobblestone road. I had to use my hands to haul myself up onto my feet. Once I did, thinking I was fine and warming up nicely, I stepped off the chariot and face-planted right onto the road. I only felt the tingling in my legs as I was laying there, 'Of course, my legs fell asleep.' I thought irritably, 'Hello cold, hard, unforgiving stone, we meet again.' I heard Razor gasp and quickly held up my right hand to stop her from rushing over. I pushed myself off the ground and sat down on the street, rubbing my legs. I decided to look around while I massaged circulation back into my lower extremities. There was a very wide, ridiculously wide tree about fifteen feet to my right, 'Fathoms.' I mentally corrected myself, 'Fathoms. I need to get used to using Kavim measurements. Let's see, one Fathom is roughly three feet so the tree is five Fathoms away.' I was pleased with myself until I noticed illuminated windows set into the tree, 'Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.' I blinked long and hard the looked again, 'There are . . . windows and a . . . door set INTO a seemingly . . . living . . . tree.' In my mind I could actually see a picture of a man wearing a t-shirt that had the word 'LOGIC' written on the front. LOGIC was then kicked in the groin, bitch-slapped, chained up in manacles, and sodomized by a flying whale with bat wings, a scorpion tail, and a lizard's head. The tree-house made absolutely, positively no sense. I rolled my eyes, sighed heavily, then turned out the light so I couldn't see what horrors befell poor LOGIC next. Razor Wit seemed excited to see the tree, for some reason I couldn't fathom. She was nearly dancing in place. Figuring my legs were functional once more, I tried to stand up. I succeeded after only two attempts and limped my way over the the door of the tree-house on pins-and-needles. Razor headed for the door and stopped in front of it, almost as if she was working up the courage to knock. I rolled my eyes and banged my balled fist against the door four time in rapid succession. A female voice answered from within, in a tone that sounded suspiciously like, 'Just a minute.'. The voice was distorted through the door though, and I couldn't make out what was actually said. In the light of the moon I could make out the emblem of a candle with a lit flame on top, it had been carved into the door. The door swung open a few moments later and I caught a glimpse of a lavender Unicorn with a purple mane and tail both of which sported lighter purple and pink streaks through them. Razor Wit bowed deeply and I could hear the mare tell her to 'rise'. I was briefly puzzled, 'Why would Razor bow to this mare?' The mare stepped back, holding the door with her right bind leg, then gestured for Razor to enter. Razor passed the mare then the lavender mare turned toward me. She stopped and slowly looked up, taking in me in all my scrawny glory. I felt terribly self-conscious and could only manage to lift my left hand and wave sheepishly while grinning in the same manner. The lavender Unicorn mare waved me inside and I had to duck slightly in order to get past the door. The mare spoke a few words to the Guards outside, but I didn't pay any attention to what she said. I looked around the interior of the impossible tree-house. Judging from the plethora of books that were stuffed into the shelves that lined literally every wall of the interior, I guessed that the lavender mare must have been the librarian. From the different doors and personal knick-knacks and so forth scattered around the inside, I figured the mare must actually live in the library. I was impressed with her apparent dedication, I couldn't easily think of any Humans I knew with such passion. I heard the door close behind me and I decided that it was the best opportunity I was likely to have for a proper introduction. I turned around and froze. The lavender mare had a pair of wings as well as a horn, 'An Alicorn then.' I thought unhappily, 'So much for Celestia trusting me. She sent me to live with one of her relatives.' I was feeling slightly betrayed and more than a bit petulant. The Alicorn mare eyeballed me up and down as she began a circuit of me. She spoke under her breath as she walked around me and I could hear words that meant 'bone', 'muscle', and 'erect'. I sighed wearily as she completed her circuit. She stopped right in front of me and her horn lit up. A rolled up scroll, enveloped in a lavender aura floated off a lectern in a corner of the library and floated over to me. In my agitated state, I snatched the scroll out of her magical grasp. She squeaked in a way that was probably as painful to hear as the discomfort which caused it. Razor Wit was at the Alicorn's side in an instant, "Don't do that!" she yelled, using one of the few phrases in American she had mastered, "It pain-filled is!" "It's painful." I corrected her hotly in American, "I feel not . . . respected . . . look at being like thing . . . alive not . . . intelligent. Obvious Celestia . . . trust not . . . myself . . . force . . . coerce . . . situation . . . slave feel me similar." I absolutely butchered it but I was honestly hurt, "Princess Alicorn all . . . control not trust! Hard . . . strive me . . . work worth . . . nothing!" the second part was slightly more coherent. The Alicorn mare's face shone with what I could only assume was restrained indignation. I ignored her and unrolled the scroll, which was written in American English, Dear Daniel, I neglected to mention that the mare you will be staying with, as well as her friends, all have names that would be very difficult to properly translate without help, so I took the liberty of writing down their names post translation. The farmer's name effectively translates into Applejack, she is an Earth Pony. I chose to mix apple and lumberjack because it is a fairly close literal translation, but the connection would have been quite difficult to make due to common gender references in Velensovth. The athlete's name is Rainbow Dash. I very nearly went with Rainbow Sprint but I settled on Dash because the word sprint usually refers to a ground race and Rainbow Dash is a Pegasus. The animal specialist's name was very tricky. The literal translation would have been something along the lines of 'reluctant one who flutters'. That did not sound very good and the translation was far from perfect so I decided Fluttershy was an appropriate name. The name of the seamstress roughly translated into 'uncommon precious beauty' so I decided Rarity would be much more appropriate and less arduous to repeat. The baker's name literally means 'sweet like a warm pastry in the color of child's pink'. That is a mouthful and no mistake, so I decided Pinkie Pie sounded sweet and innocent while keeping the implied meaning. The librarian, whose home you are sharing only became an Alicorn recently. Her name literally translates almost perfectly into Twilight Sparkle but I challenge anyone to get those particular words communicated effectively without both parties already being well-versed in each other's language. Twilight was my personal protege for many years and is quite possibly the single most intelligent Pony in all of Equestria. She is very sweet but can be a bit too scientific and analytical at times. Please don't let her intrusively inquisitive nature get under your skin. Despite the way she acts, she means absolutely no harm and will go far out of her way to help a friend. I'm certain the two of you will be able to get along with far less friction than you and I seem to have. Best of luck, Princess Celestia I lowered the scroll slowly and met the eyes of a borderline irate Alicorn, "Well shit."