It was so dark. Trixie could not see anything, nor was she even sure if there was anything to see. The sound of her hooffalls echoed around her as she trotted along a cold surface. It felt like it might be ice. She briefly entertained the idea of licking it to make sure, but quickly dismissed it. She was in enough trouble wandering some frozen darkness as it was, without being stuck to the floor. She did not want to be here, wherever here was.
“Hello? Anypony? Show yourself, The Great and Powerful Trixie commands it!”
There was no reply other than the sound of her own voice. It seemed that she was the only pony that was in this chilly dark place, Trixie shivered. It was strangely familiar to her despite how alien it was. There had to be a way out, all she had to do was find it.
“Why even bother?”
“Who said that?”
“Trixie did.”
“Yes I, wait don’t be ridiculous I am Trixie! Imposter!”
“Are we really doing this? There is nopony else here, of course Trixie is talking to herself.”
“Oh, yes I guess that makes sense. Who else would I be talking to. It’s nice to have somepony intelligent to traverse with.”
“That’s not what that word means.”
“Oh don’t you start, if I don’t know what it means neither do you.”
“Fine.”
“It’s been a while since I had to though. I’d ask if you know how to get out of here, but there is no use in asking myself questions I don’t know the answer to is there?”
“That’s right. What is the point in finding another place anyway? It’s kind of peaceful and serene here, I don’t need to worry about anything.”
“But I am alone now, and look how cold this place is!”
“Since when was Trixie not enough? Trixie did fine alone for years.”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie is not bothered by a little cold, it is cold at the top and she knew this from the start. Trixie remembers what happened the last time she went somewhere else.”
“…”
She did remember, she found some place that was warm some time ago. It was fuzzy but she could recall the things she’d found there. Warmth, lights, and laughter, but also that those things escaped her and were replaced by pain and fear, the cold came back and by comparison practically froze her solid till she’d learned to get used to it.
“I-I do not want to find those things again. It’s safer here, none of those hurtful things come here.”
“Trixie knows that. But, none of those good things come either. Is Trixie really okay with that?”
“That’s the whole point right? If I don’t have those things then I can’t miss them when I lose them. I thought that’s what you were trying to tell me.”
“Oh great Trixie has actually gone crazy, I’m talking to myself remember. It’s not like I can try to tell myself things I don’t already know. Or you or. Ugh Trixie’s head hurts.”
“Mine too.”
Trixie knelt down and leaned forward to rest her head against the icy floor and sighed, the first good use she’d found for the cursed thing. Arguing with herself was hard work.
Several minutes past, or maybe it was hours, or days, or seconds, she could not really tell.
It was so very quiet again. Maybe staying here was not such a bad thing. It did feel familiar in a way, as though she’d already spent a good portion of her life there until recently. But she was missing something so dearly, it hurt to think about it, maybe the feeling would numb if she stayed here long enough. Maybe that was what she deserved anyway.
“Trixie is the greatest pony!”
She blinked, her voice echoed around her again. That stupid boasting voice. “Be quiet.”
“There is nothing Trixie cannot do!”
With a grumble Trixie lifted her head from the cool floor. “Go away, it’s all your fault.”
“The greatest equine who ever lived!”
Trixie groaned as she pushed herself onto her haunches. “Is this Trixie’s punishment? Listening to her old lies forever?”
“Trixie deserves to be happy!”
“SHUT UP!” Trixie screamed and leapt up to her hooves, shaking all over as she took off in a gallop across the icy plains. It did not seem likely she could actually outrun her own voice but she was damn sure going to try anyway, she could do anything right?
Strangely enough it seemed to work. She was so busy gasping for breath as she ran herself ragged that there was no time left to speak.
Though she had effectively silenced herself, she should have known she could not be stopped so easily. If nothing else she was creative, especially in tormenting a pony. The darkness started showing images, flashes of her memory as she ran past them filled her mind.
She could see a small blue filly sitting alone at a desk, the rest of the class had lost all color. Until a set of bright ruby eyes drew her attention. “my name is Flitter Bouquet. You’re Trixie right?” Stop it!
Another showed that same filly climbing out of a dumpster while a trio of unicorns walked off laughing. She was scraped, bruised, stained, and had remains of apple peels stuck in her mane. It still only took one look for the filly to start laughing merrily, staring up at the ruby-eyed filly on top of the school roof that held two muffins up in triumph.
”No…”
As much as she tried to resist she could feel a warmth in her chest as she recalled the events, she wanted more of it. “Don’t please... It’s not something I can go through again.” She pushed herself to speed up her pace, turning at a sharp angle and running away from the image.
She closed her eyes tightly to avoid any more images. The darkness returned but her knee’s gave way causing her to collapse with a yelp as she braced for impact with the ice. It was cold and her head hurt badly after the fall, but at least she had outsmarted herself.
Trixie gasped as she felt something soft press against her left side and shuffle below her stomach then lift, helping Trixie to her feet and guiding her somewhere, soon feeling the blankets against her fur. A soft voice barely above a whimper followed. “I..I'm Fluttershy.”
Trixie’s eyes shot open as she made a grab towards the source of the voice but found nothing, it was dark again and the feeling of the blankets and soft pony were only lingering faintly on her skin. She could feel tears run down her muzzle. “No, bring her back. I-I want her here.”
She scrambled onto her hooves and galloped in the direction she thought she’d heard Fluttershy’s voice come from as fast as she could. She’d curse herself later for doing this to her, right now she only cared about trying to catch up to fleeting memory.
A bright star suddenly appeared directly above her. She stumbled and rolled over the floor ending up on her back with a pained groan while she stared up at the star, panting heavily from her dash. W-what is that?
There was no reply. Which Trixie supposed made sense, if she did not know the answer she could not exactly expect herself to answer it. The starlight felt strangely warm, it reminded her of that other place. “Y-you aren’t supposed to be here.”
She stared up at the star impatiently, if it was going to be her next trick for making her try to leave it better make it good. It did not seem the star was there to impress her though. It just shone above her, allowing it’s light to warm her while she rested on the icy floor.
“Buck it, I’m going!”
Trixie startled as the star suddenly spoke up and pulled away, vanishing all together and taking it’s light with it. That could not be right! It was supposed to show her something pretty again and entice her wasn’t it. She was supposed to reject it, it was not allowed give up and leave! “Wait! Don’t leave me all alone!”
Shakily she got to her hooves and galloped after the star’s last location. “I’m sorry, please come back. I-I’ll listen, I promise. You have Trixie’s undivided attention. Please, come back here, please.” She wanted to experience more of those sights and feelings so badly, nobody said she was going to have work for it! It wasn’t fair.
Almost just as quickly as it had vanished the light reappeared nearby and Trixie skidded to a halt, and swung her hoof up trying to capture it. It was too high though, and she could not reach it. Gasping for breath as she looked up at it, it felt so close by. She just had to gather enough strength to reach for it again. For now she was content just watching it’s light shine. “W-welcome back. So what have you got to show Trixie? She’s listening.”
Again nothing else happened, so Trixie reached for the star again quickly. This time she was sure she’d snatched it, but pulled back nothing again. Just the presence of the star was enough for Trixie though. She could rest in its light while she recovered from the fatigue. It clearly did not belong in this cold plain, so perhaps it knew the way out? Do I really want to get out? I-I think I do. In here all I’ll get are teasing memories but… out there, maybe I could find more? I’m scared though…
Just like that the star vanished again before Trixie’s eyes. She stumbled onto her hooves and trotted forward again. She was so tired now, she could not keep a good pace anymore and it was getting harder to keep her balance on the icy floor. “Come back, I-I’m sorry.” Tears flowed down her cheeks as she spoke, she’d missed her second chance too.
For the third time the star returned, this time though Trixie did not grasp for it immediately. She was so exhausted she could only collapse on her haunches and stare up at the warm light. “No wait! I-I want to go too, b-but I’m scared to go alone. Please. I-I just need a little… I just need a little help!” Weakly she reached up her hoof in vain again at the star, she knew it was pointless, as she was even lower and slower now than before.
To her surprise, she felt a heat radiate through her hoof as she pulled back the light towards her, clutching it to her chest. She did not understand, how did this happen? Why did she succeed this time? The questions melted away as she felt the heat spread throughout her entire body, while a final scene flashed through her mind as the heat reached her head.
A memory of Rainbow Dash accompanied the heat, her voice as warming as the star. “It’s not how many times you fail, it’s what you do after.” The light of the star began to break from white into multiple colors. All Trixie could do was smile. “you can trust me to be honest and loyal to my friends”.
Friends.