Luna lead the others through the castle's many hallways. "You'll love the Dining Hall," she said, eager to share details of the castle with them. "It's massive; hundreds can sit at the same table in during a great feast, and thousands could be packed in during large-scale events such as dances."
"How's the food there?" Leon asked. "I'm starving."
"Oh, it is to die for...." Luna paused in her words, though not her walk. "I've said that a lot recently, haven't I?"
"Uh, yeah," he said.
Luna giggled. "I guess I'm just a little excited. It's the first time my friends from another world came to visit. Anyway," she went on, thrusting out a hoof, "here we are!"
Leon looked through a large doorway into a massive room. It was about as big as Luna had boasted, with a looooooong table down the middle, leading up to a pair of thrones. Hundreds of chairs stood, docked at the table and waiting for someone to use them. The whole place was surrounded by white walls with large, intricately painted and carved stained glass windows on the walls to either side of the table.
"Does the Royal Family even have a place to eat as fancy as this?" Eddy asked, mostly to himself as he stared in awe.
"Uh, Celestia and I are the royal family," Luna replied, a little confused at the question.
"He was talking about the British Royal Family," Leon supplied.
"Oh." Luna looked at the English teen. "I never had the chance to visit them, so I can't make any comparisons. But I can assure you, you won't be disappointed with the service here, and the quality of the food is unsurpassed."
A young mare, pink and purple in color, walked up the Princess. "Your Majesty," she said, "the table is ready for seating, and our cooks are ready to take down whatever you order."
"Very good," Luna replied. Turning to her guests, she added, "Celestia, Shining Armor, Cadence, and the Bearers will be along briefly. Let us go and find out seats."
After a short while, all four of them sat down approximately in the center of the big table, Leon and Spike on one side and Luna and Eddy on the other. Leon got himself comfortable.
"Do the Bearers have the..."
"Same personalities as they do in the show," Luna finished for him. "Yes, they do. Rainbow Dash is a confident tomboy, Fluttershy is, well, shy, Twilight is a bookworm, and Pinkie is a cheerful, sweet-loving, happy-go-lucky mare." Luna's face hardened a little. "Whatever you do, if Pinkie offers you a ride on her back as a lift, don't take it."
"Oh, why?" Edward asked.
"Because the last time a human accepted that offer... he got stuck inside a mirror."
"What?" Leon said, incredulous.
"Well," Luna said, as though debating whether or not to discuss the topic. "A human visiting Equestria was heading for Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie, having the same destination, offered him a ride, which he accepted. However... Pinkie got distracted almost as soon as he got on her back. Pinkie Sense and all that. They ended up all over Ponyville in the most logic-defying locations, and finally Pinkie went inside a mirror to remind somepony of a Pinkie Promise they had made. She reared inside the mirror as she did it, and he fell off. She forgot and went off without him, and the first pony to look into that mirror saw him instead of her reflection, or rather, alongside her reflection. Long story short, they almost busted the mirror before Pinkie remembered and saved him."
After a pause, Leon said, "I don't think international relations remained the same after that."
"We compensated the poor victim for his troubles, and Pinkie apologized, which I doubt anyone could possibly have refused. He waved the whole legal process and we haven't had any further problems of the like after that." Luna paused. "It... made me dissolve in laughter when I first heard of it."
"No kidding," Ed said, looking amused. "I would have." He leaned on the table and steepled his hands in front of his face. "Are there any other... hilarious tales you might have heard of?"
"Hmm," Luna said, hoof to her chin, "there was the time you died a million times as a plastic toy soldier, and before then the time you were nuked to death by everyone in a game of Civilization V... Do you want me to recite any other stories?"
Eddy just sat there, looking stunned and betrayed. "Uh, no thanks."
"I'll tell you another story," Leon said. "it's called, 'The Story of your Face when she said that.'"
Ed turned toward him. "Need a good conk on the noggin, my friend?"
"Oh no," he answered, "I've got plenty as is."
Ed laughed. "Yeah, I can see why."
Just then, the doors opened again. Celestia walked through, followed by Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, with the Mane Six following close behind.
"Ah, sister! It is good to see you this evening!" Luna greeted Celestia.
"Likewise, sister," Celestia replied, her ever-present smile on her face. She took a seat beside Luna, and the others sat down where they could, with Rainbow Dash sitting down on Leon's right side and Applejack sitting down on her other side.
Something caught Leon's eye. As Twilight sat down, he asked, "What happened to your wings?"
Twilight looked confused for a moment, then laughed. "The truth is, I never really had them," she said.
Celestia giggled at Leon's confused face. "I asked Lauren Faust to conceal some of what was going on here at the time. And, as far as I'm concerned, Twilight wouldn't need a pair of wings just to be crowned a princess; it is the mind, courage, and friendliness that make a princess, not the horn or the wings."
Twilight blushed at her mentor's words.
"And, as you can see," Celestia continued, "we aren't as small as border collies. The show... exaggerates some details. I doubt a pony could really be flattened against a door, or have her hoof pricked by a needle."
"But..."
"The main events in those episodes did happen," the Solar Princess continued. "Trixie did show up with the Alicorn Amulet, and there was an incident with mixed-up cutie marks, for example, and the personalities of the ponies depicted is identical. I believe Luna has told you the reason for the show's existence?"
"Er, she, uh..."
Celestia laughed. "It is a secret, but one I don't mind allowing my sister to share with her closest friends. I don't blame her."
"She said you arranged it for an easier transition into relations, or something like that?"
The Princess nodded. "Very good."
"But does that excuse kidnapping people?"
Celestia, like her sister, blushed. "It wasn't..." She rethought the situation. "Well, I guess technically it is kidnapping. But I made sure that the people I summoned had no work to be done at the time, none of them came to grief, and I never mistreated any one of them. I willingly sent them back to their homes each time. And," she added, sounding a little childish, "it was for a good reason."
No one could help laughing at that. The sounds of mirth echoed inside the enormous room.
A side door in the room opened. A couple ponies trotted out of it and each walked up to one side of the table.
One of them trotted up to Leon. "What would you like to order, fine guest?"
"Hmm." Leon looked at the menu. Not surprisingly, most of his favorite foods - almost all featuring meat - were not listed. Merde. Although not ethnically French, he was fond, perhaps too fond, of using their curses, as he was using Breton ones. "I'll have a deep dish pizza, along with an order of fries with it," he finally said, "along with a bottle of ketchup, if you'll be so inclined."
The pony nodded and took his menu, then moved on to someone else.
Edward frowned at his menu. "I could go for a nice, juicy stea- ow!" he said as Luna bumped him in the ribs. Luna whispered something to him out of the corner of her mouth. Leon wasn't sure he heard properly, but it sounded something like, "Remember where you are." Ed didn't like it much, but he knew better than to complain.
After all the orders had been taken, the waiters bowed and left the room.
"I haven't had the opportunity to meet many humans until now," Cadence said, looking quite interested as she looked from him to Eddy. "I've been much too busy trying to keep the Crystal Empire going to take much time to come to Canterlot."
"I thought your main interest was love," Leon quipped.
Cadence laughed. "Just because my special talent revolves around love doesn't mean I'm not curious about other subjects." She coughed a little bit, and then explained, "My talent isn't as powerful as everypony thinks. My magic only boosts love that already exists, whether it's repressed, submerged, or beaten down; it can't create it where it doesn't exist. Luckily for me, I live in a world where that last isn't the case very often."
"I see," Leon said. "if you don't mind me asking, what are the greatest challenges facing you there?"
"I don't mind. The biggest problems feature modernization. We've found that a thousand years makes a big difference when it comes to teaching magic and technology, as many of the rules they thought they were dealing with either no longer exist or have changed. And, unfortunately, being gone that long produces it's own misery; a lot of friendships have..." Cadence paused, not sure of the right word to use.
"Their friends died while they were away," Eddy said bluntly.
Cadence winced. "Yes, that about sums it up, though I wished you'd used a lighter way of saying it."
"You wouldn't believe how far behind the Crystal Guard was compared to us," Shining Armor noted, speaking for the first time. "Of course, before Celestia opened the portal to the human world, we didn't know how far behind we were."
"How are you Prince of the Crystal Empire and yet still in charge of the Royal Guard?" Ed asked.
"It's funny that you mention it," the white unicorn stallion said. "That's a topic that comes up a lot, along with the issue of the Crystal Ponies' independence. No one is quite sure of it right now, but Celestia promised the other day that the issue would be addressed in due course."
Which means precisely nothing. Or that she'll put it off for as long as she can, Leon thought.
As though sensing that dissent, Celestia spoke up. "It's not a matter that can be solved in the course of a day. As Shining Armor and Cadence have said, the Crystal Empire is behind magically and technologically, and it's Guards rely on outdated training and tactics. It will be a while before I'm sure they can stand on their own four legs."
"That's not to say that Cadence doesn't have real power," Luna added. "She has important responsibilities, first and foremost being to keep the Crystal Heart filled with the love and hope of her subjects, which naturally means organizing the Crystal Fair every year. She also has to deal with petitions and make decisions on important matters."
"Last week, I had to resolve a land dispute," Cadence put in. "It was kind of funny, considering it's been kept for over a thousand years, but it's important to my ponies, so I had to deal with it. It wasn't too hard to settle, but the losing party wasn't happy."
"Which was a problem, as you wanted them all to remain happy," Leon said.
Cadence nodded. "Yeah. I didn't really like how it turned out, and it's the kind of case I personally don't like having to decide. I liked the petition after that a little more, as it was a request to expand the Crystal Guard, which would provide jobs and security at the same time. And it made my Shiny happy."
Shining went red. "Cady! I asked you not to call me that in public!"
"And I asked you not to call me 'Cady' in public!" the pink alicorn countered; if her face wasn't already naturally pink, it doubtless would have visibly blushed.
Husband and wife stared at one another for several seconds. Then both started to laugh, and the tension eased.
Rainbow yawned. That reminded Leon of something. "How come you decided to part with your prized lucky horseshoe? And why did you think it was lucky?"
"Oh, that. I was in a bet where I had to wear horseshoes, and I mean have them nailed on; the bet was to be the first through an obstacle course. The last horseshoe was the only one available at the time, a rusty one, different from the others. I won, and I had my first inkling that that horseshoe was different. In a game of horseshoes, I used it to score a dead ringer at the last throw, and won the game. I kept it after that. As for giving it away... I really wanted that Daring Doo book, a little too much, now that I look back on it."
"That trade fair wasn't easy to organize, I'll tell you that," Twilight said. "I was glad when it was over."
"You did well," Celestia commented, and Twilight blushed slightly.
"I must say, this is a most delightful place to dine," Rarity said. "It's so... grand!"
"Well, I'm not one to brag," Celestia replied, "But I took great pains to have this room built just right, so that everyone who entered it could feel the same as you do."
"How long did it take to finish?" Fluttershy asked.
"About two years," Celestia answered. "It took a while to design, and a lot longer to actually build."
"With you as my witness, I hereby declare this hall to be the greatest place to dine in all of Equestria," Rarity said, thrusting a hoof in the air dramatically
The Solar Princess chuckled. "No matter how many times you say things like that, I won't be able to hear it, unless I'm within earshot of you, as I was here."
"But then why do ponies say it?" Fluttershy asked her.
"I've said over and over again that I'm just like any other pony; you all seem to think I'm lying for 'holy,' 'divine,' or 'pure' reasons," her ruler said.
"Oh." The yellow pegasus resumed her usual silence.
"You say you wear horseshoes," Eddy said. "Why haven't we seen it much?"
"Well, sugarcube," Applejack said, "it's mostly an earth pony kinda thing, and it's mostly us farmers who stick to using 'em, much of the time in all them rodeos; they're kinda hard to take off in a hurry, what with all the nails to pull out."
Twilight nodded. "Unicorns used to wear them and enchant them with specific effects, but that practice wasn't very widespread. And most pegasi aren't fond of wearing them, as they add weight and drag when they're flying, which is much if not most of the time. Other hoofwear is easier to put on and off, though as Applejack said, some earth ponies still use them; our hooves are 100% keratin, unlike the horses and ponies in your world, and without nerves in those areas, we have no feeling there." She raised her own hoof to show that it was completely flat and smooth on the bottom; a few scratches from prolonged use were visible, but obviously she didn't even notice them. "And the show doesn't always, well, show when we wear them; for instance, when Applejack went to pull the plow in one episode, she was wearing them, but that wasn't displayed."
"Alright," the Englishman said. "Well, then."
"Princess, mind if I ask another question?"
"Obviously you just did, Leon," the white alicorn said, and chuckled again at Leon's surprise. "Nonetheless, you may; I believe that asking the right questions is good for learning."
"Uh, okay. Well, what do other nations here think of Equestria's establishing relations with another world?"
"A valid question. It wasn't a choice with one hundred percent approval, but most supported the idea, or were at least curious about it's results. The dragons mostly don't care, and few humans wander into the land of the Zebras. The Griffons were a little divided, but their leaders eventually agreed. The Saddle Arabians were happy one way or another to have more trade opportunities, I can tell you that much."
"I'm glad you have a dedicated staff," Leon said, as he cut the pizza into four slices and pulled one away.
"It truly is a blessing," Celestia agreed.
Leon bit into the pizza. "An dra-man mat," he muttered complimentarily.
"What did you say?" Twilight asked, looking interested.
"I said, "This is good," Leon answered.
"What language was that in?" the purple unicorn asked. "I've heard other human languages, but none like that."
"French," Eddy muttered.
Leon shot him a glare. "Breton," he said. "A language used by the inhabitants of Brittany, France."
"Oh wow! I knew Brittany was once and independent place, but I never knew it had it's own separate language!" Twilight looked to be in her element, with a happy smile and a brain that was filing the information she was soaking up.
"I'm a third generation American. My grandparents moved from Brittany to the United States. They taught my mother their language, and it was her primary for a long time. When my mother had me, she taught it to me, though English became the language I use more often, seeing as the kids in school and the neighborhood use it. Every now and then, though, I break out into the old tongue again, like I did just now."
"Thanks for the information," Twilight said appreciatively. "This will make a nice addition to my records, once I get my hooves on some paper and a quill."
"You're welcome," Leon answered her. "I hope all the new information isn't going to burn out your memory."
Twilight chuckled. "It isn't, though all the new knowledge can be overwhelming sometimes. All the more reason to write things down and categorize them all. I still manage to get plenty of time off with my best friends, though."
"Darling, you're going to make us all blush," Rarity said, before winking to let everyone know she was joking. Another small round of laughter went around the table. "In all seriousness," the albino unicorn continued, "my business has blossomed since the portal was opened. I was worried about how this whole venture would wind up, but human females have been falling over themselves to have access to dresses."
"That's great!"
"Enough talk, guys," Ed said, "Let's eat already!"
"No one's stopping you, Ed," Leon said, leaning back in his chair as he reached for another slice of pizza. Now it was Edward's turn to glare at him. Leon laughed, though only inside his mind; outwardly, he just grinned as he chewed.
"It's not proper to talk during dinner," the English teen said sternly. So he did have some English properness buried somewhere inside after all.
"Give it a rest, just this once," Leon advised. "You have an entire room that disagrees with you."
Ed seemed inclined to argue, but when he looked around and saw no one coming to support him, he reluctantly relaxed into his chair. He didn't stop eating, though, and he didn't say anything further.
"I've gotta say," Rainbow Dash said as she swallowed part of her salad, "you humans make great movies, like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. And I absolutely love the Robotech collection I've got; pity they didn't make more episodes."
"I'm just grateful you guys and the Princess are good administrators," Fluttershy put in. "I haven't had any of my creations griefed for a long time."
"Well, you all know what happens when we catch 'em," Leon said. "Lava, fall, crushed between pistons, burned, blown up, forced to fight endless horde of monsters... all ending in imminent death."
"We did have someone trying to use godmode a couple weeks ago," Twilight said.
"Oh yes," Leon said, remembering. "That was the guy we tried to shoot to death. He wouldn't die, even after we went and ripped everything out of his inventory. He was the one killing everyone in a PVP arena and not taking a smidgeon of damage."
"What happened?" Fluttershy asked.
"He got an IP ban," Luna answered. "And a warning that I would haunt his dreams horrendously if he tried to come back in any way, shape, or form. He didn't even try, as far as I am aware."
"The troll face he was wearing couldn't have protected him from that," Leon agreed.
"I hope you guys can catch whoever's been stealing from my chests," Spike said. "Someone's been robbing all my ores."
"We'll get on that," Luna promised. "I still have a computer, so I'll be able to help you out this week."
"Wow! Thanks Princess!"
"Anytime," she said, winking.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a while, everyone had finished eating. Leon leaned back in his chair and patted his belly.
"Well, I guess we'll have to pay, I don't know, three thousand pou- bits for this?" Eddy said.
"Of course not, don't be silly," Luna replied. "This isn't a restaurant, and it's all complimentary; you don't pay a cent here."
"Thanks, Luna," Leon said. "Because I have only a hundred and seventy-five dollars in my pocket, and I doubt it would be able to cover all this."
Twilight's eyes lit up. "You have your own currency? Can I see?"
"Sure." Leon reached into his pocket and pulled out a one-dollar bill.
"Wow, real paper currency! Equestria still uses money that's either silver, gold, or copper, depending how valuable it is; in fact, most nations here do. The values aren't very different, so we don't have to worry about trading money when we cross borders."
"That saves time," Leon agreed.
"And speaking of time," Luna said as they all began to stand up, "I believe it is time two of my friends come with me back to my gaming room."
"Hmm?" Leon knew he'd forgotten something, but couldn't remember what. Seeing this, Luna lit her horn up four times. "Oh, yeah!" he responded, finally remembering. "Thanks, by the way, for the dinner, and my compliments to those who made it possible," he said to Celestia.
"It was no trouble," the Solar Princess replied. "The pleasure is all mine."
Eddy nodded in agreement. "Well, what are we waiting for?"
Together, they left the dining hall, Luna in the middle and Leon and Eddy to either side of her. Tonight felt great, and the main event hadn't even started.