The Stick of Truth: The Equestrian Chronicles

by Antojo Pony

03. Introductions (Part Two)

Hot steam rose up towards the sky as the train continued on its journey north towards the Crystal Empire. Outside the windows was the beauty of the Equestrian landscape. Spike glanced in awe at the enormous valley of flowers they were passing by. The surface of valley was covered in a carpet of tiny blue flowers the size of grain of rice.  Amongst the sea of blue, Spike saw many other flowers of all shapes and sizes, including a colossal red flower the size of a large oak.

Spike had never seen such beauty, well except Rarity. He turned around his seat to see that Twilight was absorbed with a huge academic tome. “Come on Twilight,” he said exasperated, “put that book down. You’re going to miss all the pretty flow…” Spike blushed and gave a cough, it was close call. “I mean you’re going to miss all the awesome sights.”

“Huh? Oh… Yeah, sorry about that Spike,” Twilight said as she put the massive book down. “I got distracted there, it’s such an interesting subject.”

“But Twilight why are you reading, I thought we were going on vacation?” Spike asked. “Last time I checked the Princess didn’t give you any assignments and she even said she wouldn’t give you any while on vacation unless it was an emergency.”

“I know that Spike,” Twilight answered. “I’m just doing some independent studies. It’s just that this topic of interstellar portals is so fascination. Maybe the Crystal Library may have any information on the subject; they do have one of the oldest collections of books, some of them which were considered to be lost forever. Maybe I could ask Cadance for…”she froze as her eyes spread wide open.

“Um… Twilight, you okay?” Spike asked as he waved his claw in front of here. Twilight did not respond. She just merely glanced at the air, a glimmer of sparks in her eyes. “Twilight you’re starting to scare me.”

Having few options Spike ran out of the compartment towards the restroom. He filled a cup with water and ran back towards Twilight and splashed her face with water. She shook her head as she came back to her senses.

“Thanks Spike,” she said with in embarrassment, “I haven’t done that in a while.”

“Well what has you so worked up?” asked the dragon.

“The Crystal Empire,” she said, “Spike, we already used one of the ancient portals without realizing it. The one at the Crystal Empire! Why didn’t I think of it earlier?”

“Because I prefer not to remember that whole incident, and prefer not to think about the fact that the closest I’ve ever came to snuggling Rarity was as a dog?” he responded bitterly.

“Oh grow up Spike,” Twilight said, “That whole incident is behind us, and I doubt that we’ll ever go back to that dimension. But the point is, that that was one of the latter portals what was among the last of its kind. One of the unexpected positive result of Sombra’s imprisonment of the Crystal Empire for over one thousand years is that we have access to books and technology from that era.”

Spike decided it was time to stop listening, once Twilight put her hooves around a subject she found particularly interesting there was no stopping her. He went back to the window to look at the beautifully field of flowers as Twilight kept going on about ‘portal this’, ‘portal that.’ He wouldn’t be surprised it by the end of the day she wouldn’t have anything other there than portals on her mind. He had enough thinking with portals for one lifetime.

“Just imagine it Spike, the chance to meet being from other world and dimensions. Imagine the knowledge we can exchange, not to add the whole opportunity about learning about whole different culture. I wonder what these beings will be like…”

Spike didn’t hear the rest of her thoughts as he left the compartment and headed towards the dining car. If he was going to put up with Twilights lectures for another five hours he might as well do it on a full stomach.

Outside the train there was a brief flash of rainbow light up in the sky. It vanished just seconds after appearing. A certain princess came down hurling down and slammed down against the train tracks. She lifter her head to the massive engine of the train heading towards her, “Mmmmn,” were her final words.

*SPLAT!*

“Oh my Celestia!” Spike shouted in surprise as he entered the dining cart. “They have rubies!”

High above Ponyville lays the city built upon the hill. Canterlot, the Jewel of Equestria, the Royal City, and the city where everypony is welcomed; as long as they are a wealthy unicorn. It was founded by unicorns as the second capital of Unicornia before the unification of the tribes under the Royal Sisters.

After Celestia was forced to banish her sister, she decided that she wanted to spend time alone to lament the lost of her sister. Apparently the unicorn brownnoses also known as the nobility didn’t get the memo, or simply wanted a change of scenery, followed Celestia to mountain where she went to morn.  By the time Celestia descended from the peak of the mountain after she had done her mourning, it was already too late. The unicorns had been managing during her absence Equestria from their old capital.

And that is how Canterlot became the new capital of Equestria. It is the only city in Equestria with enough activists, artists, intellectual assholes, hipsters and smug bastards to rival that of San Francisco. It just happened that one of the smug bastards was a ranking official among the Royal Guard.

He was a tall proud unicorn of righteous birth. He was polishing the shiny badge on his chest in front of newly recruited unicorn guard. “Well I’m in the middle of something important,” he told the guard. “Unless you have something to report rookie, I would suggest for you to go back to duty.”

“Sir, I have reports of strange creature that we just apprehended,” she replied.

The official merely just huffed, “And what does that matter to me? Just do what procedure calls for when apprehending non-unicorns.”

“But Sir, I must insist-“she complained.

“You will do as you are told,” said the official in a low tone, “If this ‘creature’ or whatever isn’t a unicorn then I could care less about what you do. It is our duty as the Royal Guard to protect the citizens of Canterlot. You are dismissed.”

The guardspony groaningly saluted her superior and went back to the holding cells at the guard barracks. There was her fellow guard, a rather mellow and dimwitted unicorn. Though she didn’t mind, he was few guards in the unicorn division that wasn’t a bigot.

“So Silver Star,” he said as he saw her approached him. “What did the Cap say? What are his orders?”

“Standard procedure Bronze Shield,” she replied, “Standard bucking procedure against a non-unicorn.”

“So are going to have to plant some evidence on it?” Bronze Shield asked. “I mean this creature hasn’t really done anything bad other than scare of couple of ponies, but then again falling seeming out of nowhere does tend to spook anypony.”

Silver Star merely grunted in response as she opened the door that Bronze Shield was guarding. There, lying on the floor was the creature. It looked sick; surely its pale skin was the result of its shedding? It was wearing a red cloak with gold trims that formed some strange designs. It was wearing a green hat, a band of twigs and branches embracing it, forming a crown.

She glanced at the strange creature in curiosity. She sensed no threat coming from it but she had to be sure. Her horn emitted a lilac aura over the creature as she casted her quick detection spell.  There was nothing threatening from this creature. Though she did sense something odd about this creature, its magic, in particular how weak it was.

“So what are going to with it?” Bronze Shield asked as he entered the room.

Silver Star turned and took in a deep breath, “I don’t know. I thought I would be part of a proud force that stood for justice and the protection of Equestria. But I didn’t sign up for this, not bucking this!” She slammed her hoof sternly towards the tiles. “I wish Captain Armor was still in charge. That was when being a royal guard actually meant something.”

“But that doesn’t answer the question of what we do with the creature,” Bronze Shield whined.

“The procedure established by our current captain says that we determine how much of a threat this creature poses and then deal with it likewise,” Silver Star replied, “And I say screw that arsehole’s procedure, let us do the right thing. This creature isn’t a threat, Bronze. Let’s take him to where he can get medical help.”

Bronze Shield lit his horn as he picked up the stranger and placed it on his back. He decided to take a quick identification spell on the creature. “I don’t know, Silver. Maybe this creature is dangerous after all.”

“Grow a pair will you,” grunted Silver Shield as she led him to the medical ward.

As they made towards a turn in the hallway, they were met by their commanding officer. “And where do you think you’re going with that creature,” he asked in a cold voice. “Don’t you know procedure?”

“I have followed procedure Sir!” answered Silver Star. “I have determined that this creature here is no threat to Canterlot or its inhabitants.”

“Excuse me?” the captain replied bitterly, “I am informed that menace…” – he pointed his hoof for emphasis- “… has been disturbing the peace. He gave Duke Prude Heart quite a fright.”
 
“With all due respect Sir, Duke Prude Heart is a spoiled cowardly git. He tried to sue his own shadow for emotional damage when it scared him for pony’s sake.”

“That thing was also armed,” said the captain. He levitated a golf club and dropped it in front of Silver Star. “And you dare say that that thing isn’t a threat?”

“But Sir, I must insist how can it be a threat?” she asked her captain. “The creature was unconscious when we found it. My identification spell hasn’t revealed any hostile or dark objects on his body. And he has no way of communication, how can it possibly be any threat?”

The captain snorted and turned. “I knew you’ll be trouble,” he said in a dark tone, “I’ve always knew that you’ll be nothing but trouble. But I also know that you are confused. You’ve have been misled by lies, but don’t worry I’ll forgive you for your misdeeds. But such conduct needs to be punished nonetheless.”

He ignited his horn and send out spark of lights. Immediately there was a rustling in the wind as ten armed unicorns immediately teleported into the corridor. They lowered their heads and surrounded Silver Star, Bronze Shield, and the creature.

“This is against the law!” protested Silver Star. “You can’t do this to me.”

“But I just did,” retorted the captain with a vicious curl. “Princess Celestia and Luna are out in Manehatten for royal duties and Princess Twilight is out on vacation in the Crystal Empire. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, I can have you executed and they would never find out.”

There was a groan coming from the creature. It began to stir as it began to regain conscious. The armed unicorns noticed this and immediately focused their horn on the creature. “You there what’s your name?” the captain asked as he pointed towards Bronze Shield.

“Bronze Shield, Sir!” he saluted.

“Well if you don’t want to end up in deep shit like your marefriend over there,” he said as he ignored the protests coming from Silver Star, “Then I would suggest for you do deal with the creature.”

“Yes Sir!” Bronze Saluted. Hit his horn and fired a spell. The creature stopped moving and returned back to the realm of unconsciousness.

“Bronze you spineless bast-“

She didn’t get to finish her thoughts. Will dull thud she fell to the floor and was knocked out by a sedation spell fried form one of the guards.

“Take those two to the dungeons,” he ordered the guards as he went back to his office.

The guards obeyed and dragged Silver Star and the creature down the hallway. Bronze Shield remained alone in the corridor looking at the direction where the creature and his best friend were dragged down wondering if he had done the right thing.

Deep within the Everfree, Apple Bloom was wearying staring at the strange sword that the New Kid was wielding. It was emitting flames, yet the New Kid did not seem to mind at the latest.

Butters explained to her that sometimes the New Kid liked to modify his weapons and armor with patches. Each of these patches gave his equipment a different effect. The patch that the New Kid had on his katana was one that dealt extra damage when he dealt a perfect strike, whatever that meant.

 But after observing the timberwolves and the fact that they were made out of wood, the New Kid decided to modify his weapon to deal extra fire damage. It seemed obvious looking back, but then again there’s a reason Captain Hindsight existed.

There were walking in a random direction, hoping that they would find something that would lead them find the other crusaders. Yet for the past half hour their search as yet had no clue to where there location.

After another ten minutes, they stumbled across a tree. There on its branches was a piece of the rope that matched the one they used to make the zip line course. On the soft ground underneath near the tree roots was a helmet.  It was Scootaloo’s helmet.

“They were here!” Apple Bloom said with joy as she hopped in relief. “They must be close by.”

The New Kid began to observe the soft soil closely. They he saw two sets of hoof prints, they were still fresh.  Apparently the two crusaders had struggled to remove their safety equipment, which is evident from the broken branches and equipment scattered around the tree.

The New Kid, Apple Bloom, and Butters followed the hoof prints until they reached a large rock that stood over twenty feet tall. There was when the two sets of hoof prints split paths as one went to the left and the other to the right.

They followed the path to the right; the forest became thicker as they moved forwards. The sunlight began to diminish in the as it was covered by thick treetops that. A musty aroma began to take hold as the soil beneath them began to soften up and increased in moister.  The growls and barks of the timberwolves was coming could be hear from not far.

“Look, there she is!” Butters shouted. He was pointing towards a large moss covered log. Surrounding the dead tree were four timberwolves, there was a healer amongst them. They were snarling and barking at the log. The New Kid glanced at the log, there taking refuge in small gap underneath the log, was a small white unicorn.

“It’s Sweetie Belle!” exclaimed Apple Bloom, “C’mon lets go save her.”

Just as she was about to spring into action she was stopped by the New Kid. He simply gave her a look to stay quiet much to her protests. They timberwolves hadn’t noticed them yet. It was the perfect opportunity for a surprise attack.

He pulled out his ninja stars and slowly began to creep towards the wolves. Once he reached the farthest distance he could without alerting the timberwolves of his presence, the New Kid hid behind a large tree.

The timberwolves were still barking and one of them began to dig at the spot where Sweetie Belle was hiding. Decided he couldn’t stall any longer, the New Kid lunged from the tree and threw four ninja stars at the wolves as fast as he could. With a whoosh, the stars zoomed straight at the wolves, each of them hitting and stunning their intended target. With the timberwolves momentarily stunned, the New Kid ran straight towards the wolves to commence the battle.

The timberwolves align themselves in two columns again. The healer, like always, was in the back column behind a timberwolf. The New Kid stepped forward and dealt a powerful slash at the first timberwolf at the front column. It howled as it was ignited by the fire emitted from the New Kid’s katana.

Butters caught up to the New Kid and went forth and charged at the second timberwolf in the front column. The strike from his mighty hammer wasn’t enough to take it down even with his extra holy damage.

The timberwolves were still disoriented and stunned from the ninja stars. The first timberwolf howled in pain as the fire consumed it. It fled the battle like a little bitch.

The New Kid had an extra turn before the timberwolves would be able to attack. He gave the healer three swipes from his fiery katana. It too howled in pain as it caught fire. Butters gave another might swing two the second timberwolf in the front. The bonus holy damage made it flee from battle.

There were now two timberwolves left. The healer sang a strange song as a blue aura emitted from it. Soon the flames stopped and it recovered some health. In other words, it did typical healer shit. The other timberwolf inhaled an enormous amount of air and inflated. It then released a blast of the most rancid air. It smelled worse than Lionel Richie's asshole and was enough to gross out the New Kid and Butters.

The New Kid charged towards the timberwolf that released the putrid gas and gave it a powerful smack with his katana, penetrating through its tough bark. Unfortunate the flames weren’t enough to take it down. The New Kid returned to his position as he felt that morning’s breakfast regurgitate it course up his throat and all over the ground.

“EWW!” shout a revolted Apple Bloom. She noticed that both the New Kid and Butters were an unhealthy green; she had managed to avoid the blast of rancid breath that the timberwolf had unleashed.

Butters lifted his mighty hammer towards the sky. The sky overhead darkened as dark storm clouds began to form overhead. Sweetie Belle watched in awe as multiple strikes of lightning collided with the hammer which in turn deflected it to the timberwolves.

The two remaining wolves yelped and fled. The New Kid and Butters had won the battle. “Gee I sure hope I level up,” Butters said in commemoration of their victory.

Apple Bloom rushed over towards the log where Sweetie Belle was. “Sweetie Belle you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah I’m fine,” grumbled out as she crawled out from the log. She was covered in dirt and moss stains. “Oh no, Rarity is going to kill me if she finds me like this.”

“We’ll deal with that latter,” said Apple Bloom. “We have to find Scootaloo; do ya know where she is?”

Sweetie Belle shook her head, “Nope, no idea. We split up when we were ambushed by those timberwolves,” she said as she glanced at the boys. “Who are you?”

“That funny looking one over there is Butters,” Apple Bloom said as she pointed at the paladin.

“I am Butters the Merciful at your service,” Butters introduced himself with a curt bow.

“And that one yonder with the hood is King Douchebag, but everypony calls him New Kid.” Apple Bloom said.

The New Kid gave a nod.

“He doesn’t talk,” Apple Bloom whispered as she went forward to get a better glimpse of the New Kid.

“Well, thank you for saving me,” Sweetie Belle told the New Kid.

He simply just gave her a nod in response.

“Well it was pretty brave of you to take on those timberwolves,” she continued. “Especially since those wolves were dire timberwolves. You know what dire timberwolves are? There like regular timberwolves… but only dire.” Sweetie Belle glanced at the New Kid for a minute or two before finally deciding to break the awkward silence with, “Uh, I really like your… nose?”

QUEST PROGRESS
“Find the Crusaders”
Objective: Find Sweetie Belle (Complete)
Objective: Find Scootaloo

The group retraced their steps back to the rock where Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had spit ways. As they traveled the path the path Scootaloo had taken, the trees began to spread out and the sunlight penetrated the forest.

“Almost close to noon,” Apple Bloom said a she gave a quick glance at the sun.

Their path began to harden as the soil turned to hard dirt. It became harder to identify Scootaloo’s hoof prints in the hard dirt. Scattered stones began to fill the path as they approached the side of a range of rocky hills.

They came across a steep cliff. They heard ever familiar barking of the timberwolves was near. Hopefully those barks meant that Scootaloo was still alive and close by. The New Kid glanced up a cliff and saw a small ledge where an orange pegasus filly was taking shelter. Here hoof were filled with rocks as the timberwolves down below.

“Oh geez, we have to fight more of those stupid wolves again?” Butters moaned.

The New Kid glanced at the cliff then towards overhang hallways up where Scootaloo. The timberwolves were barking and leaping high towards the ledge. But fortunate the ledge was out of their grasp. It was at the perfect height; it was too high for the timberwolves to reach from below and too much of a distance from the clifftop to reach from above.

He began to climb a tree to get a better view of the situation. High at the cliff top, just above the timberwolves yet a safe distance from Scootaloo, was a pile of rocks. All they needed was a push and then SLAM! The wolves would be done for.

It was time to use the technique he learned from the Canadian monks. The New Kid took a deep breath with his asshole. He then began to find the frequency, and began to adjust it accordingly. The rocks above in the cliff began to shake, yet the New Kid held in his magic. He felt an enormous power building from within but he kept it in, he hadn’t reached the right frequency yet. He remained like this for a few seconds, holding it in—then he felt it. It was time, the New Kid decided to let go of his massive spell then…WOOSH!

He had unleashed the Nagasaki.

The pile of rocks high up in cliffs rumbled from the blast of the massive fart the New Kid had released. A small rock began to roll and it hit a timberwolf at the head. The wolf glanced up to see what had the nerve to throw a rock at him. The last sight it saw was a massive rockslide pouring down straight towards the timberwolves. Then with a deafening crash, the rocks entombed the timberwolves, sending a mighty seismic wave all around.

“Well that’s one way to dealt with them,” said Butters with a relief that he didn’t have to fight any more timberwolves.

“EWWWW!!!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle moaned in disgust, they were both revolted and amazed by the sheer capacity of the massive fart.

Once Scootaloo had realized that the wolves had been dealt with and that it was safe to get down, she spread her wings and leapt from the ledge. She safely glided down towards the ground where she was tackled by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in tight embrace of relief. A tint of red emerged from her cheeks at her friend’s display of emotion.

“I don’t know what you did,” she told the New Kid once she had managed to pull the other crusaders off her. “But I must admit that was pretty cool. Where did you learn to do that?”

“He doesn’t talk,” Butters answered, “But Douchebag was using a very powerful magic that he learned from grand masters of the technique.”

“Well as interesting as this all is,” said Apple Bloom, “Now that we are all together again, we need to get outta here.”

The other agreed as they ventured onwards towards the forest exit, taking the opportunity to get to know one another.

QUEST COMPLETED
“Find the Crusaders”
Objective: Find Sweetie Belle (Complete)
Objective: Find Scootaloo (Complete)

3 New Friend Requests:
1. Apple Bloom
2. Sweetie Belle
3. Scootaloo

After much conversation, the boys (Butters did all the talking) had managed to explain the game they were playing and it rules. The crusaders found it interesting and asked if they could join the game.

“Well I think its okay,” said Butters, “The Grand Wizard did recruit The Girls when we went to raid the fortress of Darkness. So yes you can join. Right now we have three classes that need to be filled in: They are Fighter, Mage, and Jew.”

The Everfree forest began to thin out as the continued down the path. Apple Bloom had managed to find their direction and led them towards Ponyville. Up head almost of hundred feet always were the brightly lit fields that made the outskirts of to the small town.

“We’re almost there,” Apple Bloom said. “Let’s go to the clubhouse and see if can set up for the game. I always wanted to be brave noble fighter. I’ll take down all those that stand in my way with my strength.”

They were now fifty feet away from leaving the dreaded Everfree.

“Well then I could be a mage,” said Sweetie Belle excitedly, “I can entice crowds and vanquish foes with my mighty feats of magic.”

They were ten feet away from exiting.

“Well then that means I shall be a Jew,” Scootaloo said with a grin before it fell apart moments later. “Wait, what’s a Jew?”

Quest Completed
“Lost In the Forest”
Objective: Find a way out of the forest. (Complete)