//------------------------------// // Being Baen Isn't A Breeze // Story: Baen of Equestria // by CrypticMetaphor //------------------------------// There’s an old saying from the times of old in Equestria, ‘Kindness is its own reward.’ Well in Baen’s case, he’s not much of a practitioner in that regard. Granted he has done many a good deed, but he’s always received a reward for his services. But lately his good deeds have been few and far between, mostly due to his time displacement. Currently though, Baen was sipping a cup of warm soup from a thermos. He was watching from a distance at the proceedings of what Ponyville was doing now. From what he could pick up, creatures known as Breezies were travelling through Ponyville on some flight path. Fluttershy was the one who was leading the rules of the festivities. For example, earlier she had gently scolded Baen about how loud his sipping was. “This is ridiculous,” Baen narrowed his eyes as he finished sipping his soup. Baen instinctively reached for his axe and felt air. He growled in irritation. After he returned from Manehatten, Twilight was none to amused about what he had attempted to do. * Twilight glared at the barbarian, “Do you have any idea how worried we were? When Coco sent me the letter about what you tried to do,” she paced, “It took every ounce of my willpower not to come down there and scold you from your bedside.” Baen rolled his eyes, “What are you my mother? Twilight, it’s MY LIFE. I think I can do what I will with it.” Twilight stared evenly at him, “Well one shouldn’t throw their LIFE so carelessly out the window like you tried to do. You weren’t prepared for the fight and he could have taken your life!” Baen smirked with cockiness radiating from him, “I doubt that. I’m still standing and I intend to take him down as soon as possible.” Twilight magiced Baen’s axe away, “Oh no you’re not. Because of your recklessness, I’m confiscating this for a week until you’ve learned your lesson.” Baen was flabbergasted as he looked to her and where his axe had been, “But-“ “No,” she cut him off with finality, “No axe for a week, now go to Vinyl’s and think about what you’ve done.” Baen grumbled as he slunk out of Twilight’s house. * Baen grit his teeth as the alicorn in question stood at the podium and started a speech. Despite her appearance and how Baen handled her axe taking the first time, she had taken precautions. Apparently she had teleported one of his most beloved objects to an undisclosed location and stuck it behind the most powerful enchantments she could formulate. Baen didn’t want to test her might this time due to the fact that she had started to study in the old castles library. Baen sighed and stuck his thermos in his saddlebags and started to leave. However, a series of high-pitched screams of terror slowed him. Glancing over he noticed a mass of some winged creatures tumbling away from a much longer line of them. “Hm,” Baen mused, “Must be those Breezies.” Shrugging he started toward Vinyl’s. After entering the domicile and bidding hello to his roomies, he went to his room and lay on his bed. His mind wandered well into the evening until he dosed off. * Baen writhed in his sleep due to some odd sound. It sounded like some form of gibberish, high pitched gibberish. His eyes slowly opened and they became bloodshot with mild fear. He was staring into the face of a small antennae bearing creature. The thing in question was…well…cute as all Void. Baen blinked and the thing blinked, “What are you doing in my room.” The creature opened its mouth, “Getun moogin, retfin.” “Uh….,” Baen sat up and noticed…there was more. In Ponyville, everypony heard the cry of a surprised barbarian ring through the air. * Baen sat in utter annoyance as the girls looked him up and down, the creatures turned out to be the aforementioned Breezies. And at the moment, they were literally clinging to him. Baen had not been able to pry them off at all; every time he succeeded they just stuck back to him. Twilight was analyzing the situation and the rest of the girls were just giggling at his current situation. Fluttershy however, was nowhere to be found. Apparently she had taken some of the Breezies back to her home. The ones attached to Baen either left her home or were different ones that came from the flight line. Twilight pulled a Breezie from Baen, “Hm,” it zoomed from her and sat on his armor, “fascinating.” Pinkie giggled, “Baen’s like a Breezie magnet,” she gently pulled a few off Baen and placed them in a fumanchu fashion on his face. Rainbow snorted in amusement, “Nice one.” Applejack was just staring at Baen and Twilight, “So Twi, what do ya think the situation is?” Twilight shrugged, “Hard to say,” she glanced at one Breezie that sat atop Baen’s head, “excuse me?” The Breezie glanced at Twilight, “Megin?” Twilight blinked, “Um…why are you and your group sticking to my friend here?” The Breezie cleared its throat. Its body was covered in silver fuzz and its mane was the color of cotton and stuck up in every direction. Its eyes however were cotton candy pink. The Breezie then spoke slowly in an odd accent, “Am I speakin clearly?” The girls nodded and answered in unison, “Yes.” “Good,” the Breezie stood and bowed, “I’m Cotton Wisp, nice ta meetcha.” Applejack raised an eyebrow at the female Breezie’s grasping of words, “Likewise. Now why are ya squattin on Baen exactly?” Cotton Wisp chuckled, “Well ya see. My squad was just behind Seabreeze’s and we were just fallin into formation when they got blasted away by that leaf. Fluttershy saved em but didn’t see us,” she glanced down at the barbarian’s glaring gaze, “and then we saw him. His Old Magic called out ta us like flame to a moth.” Twilight’s eyebrows shot up, “Old Magic?” Cotton nodded, “Yep, it’s so warm and safe. Just like home!” Baen growled, “I’m not a home or what ponies call nowadays a time share. SHOVE OFF!” The girls glared at him as Cotton and her Breezies trembled at his face. Rarity trotted up to him, “Baen, for shame. These creatures have done nothing to you and are delicate as a flower, show some compassion to their plight.” Baen grit his teeth, “It’s not that, it’s the fact that their magical energies being in such close proximity to my natural ones is causing a reaction which my body finds,” he growled, “disturbing.” Twilight glanced at Baen as his pupils flared red for a moment, “Just remain calm Baen. Cotton, why don’t you go join Seabreeze at Fluttershy’s? She’s much,” she looked at Baen, “nicer than Baen.” Baen narrowed his eyes, “Not helping.” Cotton Wisp snuggled herself down into Baen’s mane, “Sorry, but he just feels so nice. We can’t leave.” Twilight sputtered, “But what about your home?!” Cotton Wisp sighed, “Yes it will be tough, but we’ll manage.” The Breezie’s voiced their approval much to the girl’s nervousness. Especially since they noticed Baen’s growing agitation. * Baen sat in a diner a few hours later. The Breezies that had been near his flank had migrated to his back to allow him to sit. By now, Baen’s eyes were the only visible thing through their wings and bodies. Baen stared at his plate of doughnuts and reached for one, a Breezie’s pounced on it and devoured it within an instant. Baen attempted to just use his muzzle, the same result happened. Growling in anger, he stormed away from his table and stormed toward Fluttershy’s cottage. However, several Breezie’s flew from his body and pushed him back. Baen walked forward only for the same result to happen. “Okay! What’s the big idea,” Baen shouted. Cotton Wisp flew down to eye level, “You have to understand. If you take us back there to Seabreeze, we’ll have ta leave.” Baen shook his head, “Not my problem.” Cotton Wisp then turned to the Breezies, “Guten himal, muten tuken!” The Breezies then flapped as one and somehow managed to lift the barbarian off his hooves and started to carry him away. Baen flailing and yelling as it happened. * Octavia could only gawk as Baen sat on her couch, his Breezie cocoon practically preventing him from moving. Vinyl trotted in munching on a bagel, “What the hay?” Octavia nodded, “Exactly what I said.” Baen looked at them, “Help me, they won’t let me leave.” Vinyl stepped forward…only for the DJ to be pushed back by the tide of Breezie’s. Baen then spoke in a hushed whisper, “They smell your fear.” Cotton Wisp stared at the ponies from atop her vigil and glared. Octavia tittered, “That’s nonsense! They just need a firm hoof to show them the door,” then galloped toward them. Cotton Wisp quickly barked, “Gleeman, frugen, yof.” Octavia was then bound up like a turkey and deposited on the floor. Baen snickered, “You were saying?” Octavia growled as Vinyl laughed. * Baen had been staring at the wall for a good few hours before a knock was heard at the door. The front door was magiced open as Fluttershy and another breezie entered. The Breezie spoke something in its native tongue then tsked. Fluttershy slowly approached, only to notice the Breezies flap their wings in a threating manner. Baen glanced at her, “It would be wise to keep your distance.” Fluttershy stayed put, “Are you alright Baen?” “Do I look alright?” “Point taken,” Fluttershy then spoke to the Breezie cocoon, “Excuse me, but could you please get off my friend?” Cotton Wisp shook a leg at her, “Never!” Seabreeze flew up to the female, “Cotton you are being ridiculous! So what if this stallion has Old Magic coming out of his body?! The door is closing! We have to go now!” Cotton Wisp narrowed her eyes, “Mien grooder fiet!” Seabreeze was taken aback and became angered, “Why you!” Fluttershy cleared her throat and Seabreeze softened his tone, “Please Cotton, we have to go. What about your family? My family,” he gestured to the other Breezie’s, “their families?” Cotton looked down at the other content Breezie’s, “But we like it here, we like him!” Fluttershy titled her head, “But do you think he appreciates you all using him as your personal hoof rest?” Baen muttered, “No he doesn’t.” Cotton bit her lip, “But Seabreeze…his magic…it’s so warm and nice.” “Be that as it may,” Seabreeze said, “all of your families will miss you. What’s more important, warming yourselves on this pony? Or having the warmth of family.” Cotton looked to the side and then sighed, “We can`t leave him. Old Magic is extremely rare, you know that. Plus we Breezie’s were born from Old Magic, the same with our home.” Seabreeze nodded, “I know. But what does that matter now if you never see home again?” Cotton and the other Breezies muttered amongst themselves then all shook their heads as Fluttershy stepped forward. “Now listen Breezies. You get off my friend now and go with Seabreeze to meet the rest of the Breezies this instant,” Fluttershy stamped her hoof for emphasis. The Breezie’s, with great reluctance, peeled off of Baen and flew to Seabreeze who led the way. Soon Baen and Fluttershy followed and soon found the other girls waiting for them. Baen glanced up and noticed Dash and two other pegasai were flapping thier wings to make the wind go in a certain direction. Rainbow yelled at the other two, “It’s too strong!” One of the pegasai then answered, “I can’t do it any lighter!” “Neither can I,” the last one answered. Rainbow shook her head and flew up, “Fly back! I'm gonna try and see if I can slow it down,” the wind decreased in speed and she groaned, “Now it's too light!” Dash huffed, “Oh, this will never get them home!” Baen glanced at the breezies, “Hm, how unfortunate.” The girls glanced at the barbarian only for Fluttershy to speak up, “Oh, my. Maybe it's because there are too few of them. When they started their journey, there were more of them to face the breeze together.” Twilight tapped her chin as Baen turned to leave to go get some food, “Well I've been studying an old spell book from the Castle of the Two Sisters. There's a spell that I think could help us!” Baen glanced behind him as the girls gathered around Twilight. He knew that look on their faces; he had to go, now. As he crested the hill a burst of light was on his left, “Where do you think you’re going? We need everypony.” Baen gave a smile dripping with annoyance, “I’m hungry, my joints are tired from sitting all day. Plus you all have that, ‘we’re going to do something crazily whimsical ‘, look on your faces. Before I came along, you all most likely did this kind of stuff on your own,” he started to notice the girls gathering near him, “But if I’m ever with you, you drag me along for the ride. Soooo, I’m just going to trot away from here before I get caught up in whatever you’re about to do.” Baen was halfway gone before Twilight spoke in a sing song tone, “Leave and I keep the axe.” Baen grit his teeth and broke a tree beside him with a swift buck. Pinkie Pie bounced next to Baen, “Oh come on B! It’ll be fun.” “For you,“ Baen responded in a guttural growl. Rainbow rolled her eyes and slugged him in the side, “Oh lighten up.” Twilight’s horn started glowing, “This is probably gonna feel a little funny at first, but you're gonna have to trust me.” Pinkie giggled, “I love new ideas that make me feel funny at first!” Baen glanced at her in surprise and noticed Twilight’s horn getting brighter. “Um….,” Baen looked from side to side, “Uh. WHAT’S THAT!?” All six mares glanced in the direction as Baen made a break for food. A rope tied itself around his hooves for his troubles. Then there was a massive flash of light and he was levitated. “I hate you all.” Then his body, armor, and overall being were reformed. * Baen flew side by side with his now Breezie turned Equestrians. He was not happy. Twilight opened her mouth to say something to him only for Baen to silence her, “Not a word.” Rarity smiled, “You sound adorable!” Baen glared a hole into the ground as he went not meeting their gazes. Soon they reached the hole leading into the Breezie’s world and they entered. Baen just stared on. After the Breezies said their farewell and the ponies landed. Twilight returned them to normal and were all happy at a job well done. Then Baen stalked over to Twilight and loomed over her threateningly. Twilight chuckled nervously, “Um…if it’s any consolation, you did a good thing today.” Baen jabbed a hoof into her chest with each word that seethed anger, “Never. Do that to me. Again.” The barbarian stared at Fluttershy’s flower that was given. He saw a rainbow sheen upon it and narrowed his eyes. Shaking his head, he looked at the girls once more. Baen then turned from them, “I expect my axe back in a week.” Fluttershy stared after him, “Oh, do you think he’s mad?” Baen shatterd a rock and kept walking as Applejack said, “Eeyup.” Twilight however was more concerned about what had happened during the spell as Dash pestered her. When she had hit him with the magic beam, she felt something connect to her, though faint. Could it be the Old Magic that Cotton spoke of? If so, just what was Old Magic?