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// Entry 1: Monday, 25th of October  
// Story: The Diaries of Cyber Pulse 
// by Deuterium 
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OK, first things first: if you are reading this, and are not me, then how on earth did you get hold of my diary? I keep it under lock and key in my bedroom, the reason being that if my roommate got hold of it, he'd probably write all kinds of fabrications in there. But nonetheless, you are here, and also you are reading this. So I'll take the liberty of introducing myself, and a couple of the other ponies I call friends. Hi, I'm Cyber Pulse, and I'm an unusually-nerdy pegasus from the Coltish isles, specifically Newcattle-Under-Lame, where I had lived for many years until I moved to Equestria a couple of years ago. I also look a bit like a girl, and it’s immensely annoying to me when ponies point this out, or worse, think that I AM a girl. One pony seemed rather taken aback when she found out I was actually male. 

If you are reading this then you may be wondering why, if this is my diary, I’m writing this as if it will be read by someone else. Well, all I’m going to say on that topic is that I have my reasons, however mysterious or unusual they may be. This is just how I write diary entries. But, I digress. Now, it would be hard to start a diary on my personal life without mentioning Cornflake. Cornflake is my (aforementioned) roommate...or at least, I call him a roommate. Technically I just let him live in my house rent-free because he couldn't be arsed to find a job after we moved to Equestria from Coltain (He only tagged along with me in the first place because he's the closest thing I had to a friend at the time). But as you may expect, letting him live with me makes things infinitely harder for me since I am the only one of the two of us who has a job (I teach Equine Biology at Star Swirl Higher Education Center. A decent job with a surprisingly good pay, but since it’s not actually in Ponyville it’s quite a long commute, and with Cornflake around working on lesson plans is hard to say the least.) 

Cornflake couldn't work to save his own life. He just spends his days either drinking unnatural amounts of alcohol (he has a preference, I note, for Flim & Flam brand cider, often diluted with vodka. Exactly why he does that I'll never know, Flim and Flam cider is strong enough as it is) or sitting in his room with his pornography which he somehow manages to smuggle in despite the strict no-porn rule that we "agreed" on when I let him move in. I often find piles of it in his cupboards and I always end up burning it or destroying it in some other way. And what's worse, he buys it with my money since he keeps asking me for subs, and whenever I say no he just does not shut up until I eventually give it to him, by which point I'm typically on the brink of clinical insanity. And when I do give him the money, I know precisely what it'll be spent on. Cornflake also has no cutie mark and I like to joke that when he does get it it'll likely be an image of the male anatomy, on account of his apparent porn addiction, always very much to his chagrin. But to be honest anypony would be annoyed if they had a picture of a nob permanently grafted on their flank. If not a nob then probably a generic booze bottle, for reasons that I should have already explained.

But despite the fact that he's a freeloader, Cornflake isn't a total bastard, and if you’ve known him for as long as I have, he can be quite a good friend. The story behind how Cornflake and I became friends is quite long and very complicated. All I can say is it involved a passion fruit, a dictionary, a Tasmanian devil and sherbet lemons. And afterwards my head hurt. (To be quite honest though, the part about the Tasmanian devil isn't entirely true; it wasn't a real one). 

Another friend of mine worth mentioning is Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is a pegasus with a rainbow-coloured mane and tail (true to her name) and she also happens to be one of Equestria's fastest flyers, placing 1st in the Best Young Flyer competition a few years back, and also landing a position as a Leader at Wonderbolt Academy (I'm thinking about applying for that myself when I have enough time... and courage). She is damn fast too - fast enough to create a sonic boom. But what's even more interesting is how she does it at a considerably lower speed than it normally would take to create a sonic boom of notable magnitude. One of my work colleagues, a Physics teacher named Nuclear Fusion, once told me it has something to do with air pressure and high velocity, but I can't be sure; Physics isn't really my area. I really should ask her to explain it to me again.

I met Dash while I was grocery shopping one day. At the time Cornflake and I had just moved in, so we weren't too well known. I was just checking out the more exotic items on offer when, all of a sudden, she crashed into me at a very high speed. After she'd apologized and helped me pick up all my okra and artichokes, she realised that she hadn’t met me before, so we introduced ourselves to each other. 

After that little episode we started to make conversation. Rainbow Dash told me all about her win in the Best Young Flyer competition, how it'd gone a bit pear-shaped to begin with but she managed to secure the win with her "Sonic Rainboom" (as she calls it). She also discussed a few of her friends, and even managed to introduce me to some of them, namely an orange-coated earth pony named Applejack, and another pegasus named Fluttershy who, true to her name, is possibly the most timid pony I have ever met. When I tried to introduce myself, she simply mumbled something under her breath, and made some odd whimpering noises. To be honest it was kind of cute... Dash, on the other hand, went into detail about how badass Fluttershy had been in the past, which I found to be quite far-fetched, and even after Applejack confirmed it, I was still fairly dubious. Then, things got bat-shit crazy. After telling her stories of Fluttershy, Dash introduced me introduced me to... an alicorn.

I shit you not. An alicorn, helping out with some of the market stalls, and doing a damn good job of it too. Dash told me that her name was Twilight Sparkle, and all about how she was Princess Celestia's star pupil, and ended up becoming an alicorn after finding some kind of mystery cure for some weird illness or something along those lines. On top of that, she told me she’d been royalty since way before she was coronated - she was sister-in-law to Princess Miamore Fucking Cadenza! All I could say was: Holy. Fucking. Shit. That is one lucky pony.

After trying to get over having seen an alicorn for the first time in my life and actually introducing myself to Twilight, I told Dash and her friends a lot about myself, like where I lived, what I did for a living, to stay away from Cornflake, and so on. Eventually I noticed that I was running late and had to get on with that night's dinner, so I bid Rainbow Dash and her friends farewell, tried to stop gawping at Twilight (she told me she got it all the time), and started flying towards my house, clutching my very small bag of groceries. I don't normally buy much aside from essentials, because aside from working and writing in my diary I also like growing my own vegetables. It's a messy business, and at times irritating, but it's much cheaper than buying, and to be honest it is actually pretty fun sometimes. Actually I have a lot of hobbies, which I'll probably cover in more detail in a later entry.

Anyway, enough introductions. I'll end this entry for today, my diary entries tend to be pretty long. I think I'll try my best to write in here as often as possible, but that'll depend on whether or not anything interesting or unorthodox happened that day. But for now, this entry is over.