//------------------------------//
// This is my swamp 
// Story: Rise of the Muscle Wizard. 
// by Ssendam the Masked 
//------------------------------//

I staggered through the Everfree Forest, only my considerable injuries keeping my speed to a manageable level. I leaned against a tree, panting as small drips of blood seeped through my bandages. This was a lot harder than it seemed in just about any shonen anime and manga. Or in video games, come to think of it. Beside me, Twilight (thankfully she'd introduced herself) looked at me with concern. "Are you alright?" 
I nodded. "Just... peachy. Just help me get to my gym and shit. Was a castle, now it's a library and gym." 

Twilight looked at me with a weird look. "Riiight. Anyway, how long will it take?" 
I shrugged. "Not long. I want a rematch with that alicorn. Got a couple of injuries I want to repay, gentleman like." That was a total lie; in spite of my impressive durability, I was nowhere near ready enough to deal with the alicorn of the night. Maybe if I had the Elements of Harmony, that would readdress the power balance. Speaking of...

"Hey, Twilight. You look like somebody who reads more than they exercise. Know about the Elements of Harmony?" She beamed and nodded. "Yes! I found a book on that in the library. Pretty crazy coincidence, huh?" I raised a thick eyebrow. 
"In magic, there is no such thing as a coincidence. Somebody might have wanted you to read that book." She put a hand on her chin, thinking about what I said. Nice to have somebody to talk to after two years in the forest. 

Eventually, we were standing on the edge of the Everfree Forest. I struck a manly pose. "Let us go forth, to meet our DESTINIES!" The others weren't as enthusiastic as I was. The yellow one didn't seem that nervous, which was a pleasant surprise- looking at her, I was half-expecting her to faint when she saw me. The fashionista and that rainbow-haired one who I originally espied looking at me seemed a bit nervous. Pinkie was watching me with a mixture of caution and smiling (smiling must be her default mode of existence.) And Applejack wasn't even afraid. I knew that I'd made the right choice in rivals! All good shonen protagonists have a rival, with whom they share an almost sexual relationship, and then the rival disappears at the behest of a pedophile who only wants you for your body and... wow, my train of thought is more than a bit weird.

I strode through the dark forest like I owned the place, which might as well have been true. Truly, there was nothing bad enough in the entire forest to take me on, even when I was injured-
The ground beneath us collapsed, sending a couple of us flying. I simply gripped the earth so tightly that it started to tear. Behind me, I heard Applejack spouting some nonsense about trust to Twilight, and it seemed to work. I waited until I could see the pegasi, then focused what little remained of my magical might and floated down like a butterfly. Twilight immediately ran up to me.
"How did you do that?" I simple smiled, pulling out a copy of my book. 
"Follow the exercises in this book for about five months, then you'll be able to replicate that feat." 

After that little escapade, we continued through the forest unmolested. When the manticore attacked, my sole regret was that I was too wounded to engage in combat. Though my injuries were bad, the bandages, as was the logic, were healing me at a ridiculous rate, or so I tried to convince Twilight and co. 
"No, bandages do not heal everything." 
"They totally do. Look." I tore my bandages off, revealing, against all odds, that I had now recuperated from my injuries. I laughed at Twilight's gobsmacked expression.
"I...whuh...buh...how?" I turned to the relevant page in my book and continued walking. 

Suddenly, each and every single tree was ridiculously scary. I will admit, my heart almost stopped. I looked at the mares, who were too scared to go further. Suddenly, Pinkie burst into song, casting me a nervous look then continuing with the singing. "When I was a little filly and the sun was going down..."
I tuned her out pretty much immediately and looked at Twilight, who seemed to be the sanest of our little group.
"Tell me she's not." Twilight looked on as Pinkie kept singing about giggling at ghosts.
"I do believe she is." 

After an experience that I would rather gargle razor blades than remember, we came across a raging river. I sighed.
"Alright, pegasi can carry us over one by one. That is a good plan." 
Twilight objected. "No! We should find a way to cross all at once." 
I stared at her for a good minute. "What's wrong with having the pegasi carry us across? Or, better yet, why don;t the unicorns levitate us across?" 
Twilight glared at me. "It's the principle of the thing." 
I facepalmed. "...so abandoning cold logic and reason for your 'reasons,' and I use the term advisedly, strikes you as a good idea?" 
It was then that a metrosexual river serpent appeared out of fucking nowhere.
"Sweet Jesus and Muhammed!" I scrambled backwards, fist being surrounded by fuckfire as I prepared to send this abomination of nature to a watery grave.

After a nice bit of negotiation on Marshmallow's part, we were now on the other side of the river. I was perpetually on guard, and so it was that I was able to rescue Twilight from a humiliating end, falling into the chasm. I looked up at my newly restored gym castle. It shone proudly in the light. 
"Mares, welcome to Everfree Gym." They looked at me. Rainbow hair was the first one to speak.
"...so you turned the castle of the Pony Sisters into a gym." I simply nodded. Next to me, Twillight was having a bit of a fit. 
"Do you know how much history could have been lost with that?" 
"No less than usually happens. Now, let us charge. I get the feeling that something bad's going to-" 

I was cut off when I heard somebody scream. 
"-Happen." I was already zooming in. Bursting in, I could see Nightmare Moon, pinned beneath one of my weights. I looked at the weight of it and quickly gripped it, hauling it off of her without much effort. She looked at me and her eyes widened for a bit. 
"Trying to lift without a spotter, eh? I might not have one myself, but here's my personal saying." An aura of magical fire surrounded me.
"Do as I say, not as I do." 

Nightmare Moon sneered at me, her muscles, if anything, even bigger now. "Please, Muscle Wizard. You barely bested me before, and with a cheap trick at that. What are you going to-"
I cut her off with a Warlock Punch to the face. Villainous monologues are all well and good, but when the other guy is right in your face, then you're going to have a bad time should he decide to sucker punch you. With the immediate threat over, I turned to my companions.
"Well, I think you should find the Elements. There's a bit of the castle that I left alone. Seemed to be something up there, I'd go check it out if I was you." They all left, even the Rainbow haired one, though she looked at me. I quirked an eyebrow.
"Why hang back a bit?" 
"It's because I don't really trust you. Besides, somebody has to be loyal, don't they?" I waved her off and got to imprisoning an alicorn. 

First of all, I gripped some steel bars, and bent them around her arms, holding them in place. Then, a smaller weight around her horn, to stop her doing much magic. Finally, I restrained her wings. With nothing else to do, I sat down next to her, watching her to ensure no escape. I looked at her as she woke up. As she struggled to get free, I leaned in and whispered to her. 
"This is my swamp." I then kept watching her efforts to break free.