"Mornin' sunshine," came a gruff voice over the fire... And the intense pounding in my head.
"Ermph," I retorted, eyes still closed. My face and neck hurt, as well as my head. I blindly reached for my face only to find a wad of bandages where my nose was. "What happened?"
"You fell off the stage Tom," said Euwin. "Ya nose was broke so I had to r'set it with me magic."
"-Five more minutes ma..." Mumbled a familiar feminine voice from behind where I lay, explaining the warmth on my back. Lightning Dust threw her hoof over me and pulled. "Oh dear god I hope we didn't-" I shot my eyes open at the thought, only to recoil in pain and bop the pegasus on the nose with my massive cranium. Both parties groaned in pain.
"Agh, what the bu-" Lightning Dust opened her eyes slowly as she stood up from her (still cartoony) resting place. They darted from me, to Euwin, to the others sleeping in their own bedrolls, then back to me. "I- uh... Yea maybe... Igottagocleanoffberightback," she stammered before she took off in the direction of the river. She moved remarkably fast given the fact that she was very hungover.
"A few more details on last night would be appreciated Euwin," I said as I squinted at the thistle unicorn with a lavender outline. He held a pan in a golden aura, levitating it over the campfire.
"Well, aftah you broke ya shnoz from the fall, you grabbed ya stuff and ran outta the bar calling for us to follow you." He began, "and by some wicked possession, we did. You bought us all sumthin' to sleep on, ramblin' on about seein' the world and whatnot. The girl was attached to ya side the entire time. She's got an eye for you kid, if you didn't know alrea'y know, and you now 'ave a group to look out for."
I sat up and looked at my peers, Tobias lying in a cat-like position atop his bedroll close to the fire, Dom lay at the base of the tree with only his ears visible from the sleeping bag, and Lightning Dust, who was once curled up behind me, but was now somewhere in the water. Euwin was right, I had people who looked up to me. I had to lead them, and care for their needs, and keep them all safe, and monitor their relationships, and...
"I sound like my mother."
Lightning Dust made a rather sudden entrance by descending from above, unsettling the air around us. The campfire flickered and popped in protest but remained ablaze. Dust was kicked up, swirling back to a resting place upon the ground once again.
"Heya Dust," I smiled, hoping to make things a little less awkward.
"Hey... Owww my head," she said then raised a hoof to her temples. "Euwin, you've been at this for a while, any quick cures for a hangover?"
"Yes, I've been workin' on it since before you two got up. Dried Poison Joke leaves ground into any meal will clear up any minah ailments. When dried, Poison Joke is its own antidote." The old unicorn said, flipping the eggs in the pan telekinetically. He seemed to grin when he shared his knowledge. "It's rea'y."
---
Within minutes of eating, my pounding headache subsided and the hangover was no more for myself and my group. The morning was beginning to transfer to noon by the time all of us were awake. The sky was azure blue, dotted with a few puffy cartoon clouds here and there, and the dew on the ground was beginning to evaporate. I took note of the cartoony look and concluded that I hadn't drank the potion yet.
Tobias and Dom sat near the fire, eating their late breakfast whilst staring into the smoldering pile. Lightning Dust sat beside Euwin and I as we set our gaze toward the town which was beginning to wake. Golem made his presence known and flew down from his perch to land on my shoulder. This startled the pegasus and the diamond dog.
"Good morning Golem," I smiled at the bird.
"New friends? This should be interesting," he replied then stared at Dom. The dog, having a mouthful of eggs, stared back and left his jaw agape. Lightning Dust seemed just as surprised.
"You've met Tobias and Euwin," both nodded in confirmation. "This is Lightning Dust," I pointed towards the pegasus whom awkwardly waved back. "And this is Domnic." I finished, pointing at the dog. Bits of his meal tumbled out of his mouth.
"Greetings," replied Golem.
"Now that everyone is acquainted, would you like to hear today's agenda?" I asked the group. They nodded in unison.
"Okay, I'm going to give you each one-thousand bits to spend on whatever you think you may need for this trip. Aside from you Euwin, I know you have a private stock you've been holding out on," I prodded the old unicorn who was still wearing that mysterious purple cloak. "I'm counting on you guys to make good use of this money, any leftover bits can be kept. As for myself, I need to head to a certain boutique and pick up some clothes, while I do this you guys can shop. We meet back here at two." I pointed towards the clock tower which chimed as it struck eleven o' clock.
"Any questions?None? Good."
---
Rarity's boutique was massive, simply as put. I marveled at the carousel that sat atop the functional piece of the building. The pony shaped figures were life-size, like the one on the sign which hung above the door. I ducked through the door after knocking thrice, to find that a bell hung above it. It rung louder than any of my knocks, alerting the seamstress who stood facing a mannequin.
"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is shiq-" Rarity began, then halted as she caught sight of me. "I- Um... H-How may I help you?"
"I need a few sets of clothes, and I'm pretty sure nowhere sells for my species. Word is that you're a rather amazing seamstress and that you might be able to help me." I said in my most formal tone.
Shut up. You'd try to impress her if you were in this situation too.
"How many sets?" Asked the unicorn.
"A weeks worth. How much might that cost?"
"It depends on the amount of fabric used, allow me to get your measurements."
One hour later...
"OW!" I yelped, struggling to escape the sadistic torturer's telekinetic grasp.
"Quit fidgeting and it may hurt less!" Shouted the alabaster demon, who was no longer best pony. She attempted to gut me with another needle.
"Finished," said my tormenter as she levitated a massive mirror in front of me.
There I stood, looking back at a cartoony rendition of myself. I wore a tunic, adorned with brass buttons and an earth colored vest. The tunic itself was and eggshell color, and it was the only one of the seven Rarity had made me to have a brown vest instead of black. The pants were simply denim, having little diversity between the other pairs. The evil unicorn had also made me seven sets of socks upon my request, though they were a bit too long and lacy for my liking.
I beamed. "Wow, these are really nice!" I stated, still staring at my reflection. "How much do I owe you?"
"A bit per outfit, these are very simple so the price shall be the same."
"I cannot accept such a gift and only pay seven bits. Twenty-five per outfit, no more no less." I stamped my foot to emphasize my point.
"For such an ensemble?! I could never charge that much!" Rarity put a hoof to her chest as she said this. Dramatic and generous, she regained the title of best pony.
"I insist," I stepped down from the pedestal she had me standing on. "It is a small sum compared to what a weeks worth of clothing would cost where I come from. A single outfit is at least half of the total of this, I am ripping you off as is so please, take this." I tossed a small bag containing the one-hundred and seventy-five bits to her.
"I suppose I have to," she began. "If it is morally wrong for you, I must respect that."
I gathered the clothing and placed it in my the shallow pocket of my backpack. "Thank you and have a wonderful day!" I said as I nodded and head out the door.
"Now to head to Euwin's shop," I mused. "I'm sure he's there, if I catch him maybe I could buy some armor."
---
"Thrift Shoppe." I read the sign in my head. It matched the pony inside; Old English and faded.
The closed sign was visible from the inside, but the door was ajar and the lights were on. I could hear the old unicorn rummaging through his things and occasionally cursing under his breath. I entered, knocking on the door as I did so. "Hey Euwin. You in here?"
"No, go away." The geezer retorted in a sarcastic tone, so I delved deeper into the building. I came to the counter I had seen yesterday to see Euwin's greyish white tail was bobbing up and down in the back room's doorway.
"I'm looking to buy some lightweight armor, do you have any that may fit me by chance?" I called. The unicorn backed up, revealing a cutie mark of a hat and compass. He continued until he was able to spin around and face me, upon doing that I got a good look at his getup. A hat that resembled the one on his butt and pendent on his cloak sat on his head. A golden compass held by silver chain hung from his neck, needle spinning wildly.
"I got some D-Dog armor tha' might fit you, can't be certain 'owever." Euwin began to walk deeper into the shop. "Follow me."
I did as told and followed the unicorn. We came to a wall of diamond dog mannequins sporting various pieces of armor. Euwin levitated a rather large metal chestplate over my head, then promptly dropped it on my shoulders without warning.
"AGK! I said light!" I screeched while he simply chuckled. The unicorn lifted the piece off my shoulders and placed it back on the appropriate mannequin. I sighed in relief as he picked the chainmail shoulderpads off the mannequin farthest from us. This time he placed it on my shoulders gently.
I rotated both shoulders while Euwin telekinetically clipped the armor on around my chest. It fit snugly, allowing full arm movement, and only had a little bit of weight making it rather comfortable. The unicorn grinned, having found a good set. "Now for the gaun'lets," he said as he levitated the iron gloves off the mannequin.
The gauntlets fit everything except my fingers. Diamond dogs only have four, making it hard for all five of mine to cram into a space not big enough for them. Euwin saw this and undid the pins that connected the top of the hand to the fingers, this popped the appendages off and allowed my fingers free movement.
"Its not like you'll be blockin' anythin' with ya fingers anyway," said the old unicorn to justify the lack of protection to my favorite limbs. "I'll give both to you free, as ya the group leader 'n all." He smiled at me.
"Euwin, you are like the crazy awesome grandpa I never had." I glomped him.
"Thanks kid," he wiggled out of my death grip. " 'ows about weapons?"
"I'm good on those," I responded as I thought about my staff. It served as a ranged and close-quarters weapon thanks to Zecora, and I was rather good with it. This made me think about the group. "Have you seen the others? I haven't a clue what they may do weapon-wise."
"Actually, all three of 'em stopped by as soon as I got 'ere. Turns out that griffin 'as some trainin' in swordfighting."
That surprised me too, I was sure Tobias would've prefered ranged weapons. I took my turn to speak, "didn't see that coming. How about Dust?"
"What about the girl?" He got a smug look on his face. "I di'int think you were in'erested?"
"Shut up Euwin," I fought the heat coming to my face. "What weapon did she chose is all I want to know."
"A longbow," he answered whilst returning to the counter. He then pulled out his own weapon.
A warhammer levitated in a golden aura, its head scratched and chipped. The handle was made of iron and the rest of the length was oak. It looked as though it had been used a lot. Euwin lowered the weapon into a sheath near his haunches. The clock outside struck one, reminding us both to prepare for departure.
Walking towards the door, I paused to turn and ask the unicorn a question. "Do you know of an good places to eat around here?"
Euwin raised a hoof to his beard in thought, "what do ya 'ave in mind?"
"A burger joint." I said almost instantly.
"Well, there's Five Stallions and Burger Princess, but that isn't as good"
"I suppose we head back to camp and wait for the others. I want to see their gear then we can go and grab a bite to eat." I held the door for him then followed after.
---
I prodded the fire with a twig I'd torn off the tree by our camp. The glowing embers seared and brought the sticky sap to a simmer, emitting a calming essence. It popped and cracked, making my eyes dry out the more I stared into the fire. It brought back old memories...
"Fire is beautiful isn't it?" Asked the girl next to me. Her hair was dark brown and cropped short, and her eyes were an icy blue. The kind of blue that gave you goosebumps upon seeing it. She was shorter than me, but could easily kick my ass at any time. Having been brought up as neighbors, we left that unspoken.
"Yea," I responded simply. "But I sometimes like to look towards the stars."
Both of us turned our heads upward to take in the beauty of the universe. We had driven for a few hours to get here, and it was completely worth it. There was no civilization for miles, meaning the glow that cities put off couldn't dampen our night sky. Cars couldn't be heard for miles, only the sound of crickets chirping the song of a summer night and the fire's hum.
"Hey Amber?" I said, not taking my eyes of the sky.
"Yea?"
I turned to face her, pulling a small box from my pocket as I did so. "Will you marry me?"
She whipped her head away from the sky to face me. Her eyes glowed with tears as she said: "Yes..."
My thumb pushed at the silver band on my ring finger. The words inscribed: "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down." Those were the words of Tom Petty, and they meant so much to Amber. I had told her we'd be married in two months, that I'd fight anything that tried to stop us... I told her that we'd be together until death. A promise was made, but fate determined it unkept.
A sole tear rode down my unshaven face, reaching my chin then off into the flame with a sizzle.
Golem had picked up on the path of my thoughts and launched off his perch to rest upon my shoulder. He set his voice to a volume that Euwin wouldn't be able to pick up.
"You are a strong man Tomas. Your pain will only make you wiser."
I nodded in acceptance. "As it always has..."
Despite the atmosphere, Tobias and Dom approached the camp laughing jovially. Tobias to the brink of tears, and Dom clutching his sides as he wheezed. The griffin was clad in plated armor, with a sapphire on the center of the chest. Domnic wore a green hooded robe and at his hips sat a belt which carried two silver daggers. Lightning Dust could be seen as well, lollygagging with big lazy loops in the air. Her massive bow was visible on her back, as well as a quiver full of arrows. As for armor, she wore chainmail much like my own, however being smithed for a pegasus, it was slightly different.
I stood up from my spot as the three came to join us.
"Love the new gear guys," I held my arms wide to gesture to all of them. "Ready for late lunch or early dinner?"
"Sounds good."
"Yep."
"What he said."
"Awesome, can someone direct the party to Five Gu- Stallions?" Smooth.
---
"It tashtesh jusht like real beef!" I exclaimed with a mouthful of veggie burger. I received some odd looks from both ponies in the party. "Yes I am a predator, but I don't like horse meat so don't worry," saying this did not help my case at all. Thankfully, only those at the table heard me, saving me from an even more awkward situation.
Tobias and Dom simply laughed, both were omnivores like myself. Surely they had made the same ammature mistake at some point.
Euwin leaned back in his chair, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. Suddenly, his stomach let out a rather loud roar. His eyes opened wide and his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks. "I'll be right back fellas," he murmured as he shot off into the direction of the bathroom. This elicited a calamity of laughter from our table.
The restaurant we sat in bustled with ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs. All merrily eating burgers and potato chips, I could even recognize a few familiar faces; like the bulldog biker gang. The white and red tiled floor was littered with peanut shells in a few places and the kitchen held five staff members. While they were all ponies, they worked quickly and efficiently, making veggies burgers and potato chips faster than I could even imagine doing by myself. They were all well coordinated, launching burgers into their respective bags from across the room.
I was truly baffled by the skill of the cartoony ponies, soon reminding me of a certain green bottle. I pulled it from my backpack which hung on the the back of my chair. I opened the lid to my cup and dumped it in, "no more of this cartoon mess."
"Whatcha got there Tom?" Asked Tobias.
"It's a potion that I was supposed to drink last night but didn't. Its intended effect is to return the detail to my vision, I kinda miss it." I shrugged my shoulders, but Tobias gave me a weird look.
"Return? The magical filter is something you have to be born with, you shouldn't know what detail is until you get it removed. Unless you're coming in from somewhere far from Equus. Where are you from Tomas?" This got unwanted attention from everyone at the table. "Crap..."
"Well, I-" I leaned in and lowered my voice to a whisper. "I'm not from here."
"No shit," responded the griffon.
"Listen smartass, I wasn't done." I bopped him on the beak before I began. "I'm from Earth, how I got here is beyond me. I just went for a stroll out in the woods and voila. I'm here."
Lightning Dust seemed unfazed by this, keeping the same expression she had going in to the huddle. Dom's jaw hung wide open again, his meal tumbling out onto his plate... again, and Tobias crossed his arms and put on this 'high and mighty' look. Like he knew all this time. "The fluffy bastard probably did too, he just wanted to confirm."
Euwin returned to the table just as Dom shut his trap, his walk however was more of a waddle. "Never trust burgers," said the unicorn.
"OKAY! Unnecessary information!" I shuffled in my seat uncomfortably. "Does anyone have a plan as to where we want to go first?"
"Trottingham!"
"Fillydelphia!"
"The Frozen North!"
" 'ows about the ruins of the castle of the two pony sisters?"
I scratched my stubble, "That actually sounds kinda cool. Everyone in agreement?"
The entire party (including Golem) nodded.
"Good, we head out tomorrow morning." I took a big swig of my drink. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.
