It was a normal day in South Park. Snow covered everything, Al Gore was being serial about Manbearpig, Chinpokomon toys were lying around, and Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were about to go on the biggest adventure of their lives.
The four boys walked over to a strange van. A woman in a costume that completely covered her body stood near it, pointing to a wheel. On the wheel were many large spaces that said "LOSE," as well as four spaces that said "WIN."
"How much to spin?" asked Cartman. The woman gave no answer. Cartman shrugged and spun the wheel. He watched closely as it landed on "WIN."
Cartman cheered. "What's my prize?" he asked. The woman took him inside the van.
The same thing happened with Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, with each landing on a different "WIN" spot. They all went inside the van.
The woman looked at them. She pulled a lever, and the four boys were sent through a portal.
"Are you all right, sugarcube?" asked a strange voice. Stan looked up and saw an orange pony with white freckles, blonde mane, and a brown hat poking him. He screamed.
"Y-you can talk?!" Stan asked, slightly weirded out by a talking pony.
"Of course I can talk," said the pony, confused. "I'm a pony, not a tree!" She laughed. Stan was confused.
"Where am I?" he asked.
"Why, Ponyville, of course!" said the pony. "My name's Applejack! What's yours?"
"I'm Stan," said Stan.
"Howdy, Stan!" said Applejack. "Come inside! I'll introduce you to my family!!" She dragged Stan inside a barn.
"Now," she said, "meet Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom! Apple Family, meet Stan!"
Big Mac waved. Granny Smith looked up. Apple Bloom jumped on Stan. "He doesn't have a Cutie Mark!!" she exclaimed happily.
"What's a 'Cutie Mark?'" asked Stan.
"Come on," said Apple Bloom, "I'll tell you all about it!"
"Wake up," a filly with a US Eastern accent said.
"Not now, mom," said Kyle.
The pony jumped on Kyle. He screamed. "WHAT THE F[watermelon] WAS THAT FOR?!" he yelled.
"You wouldn't wake up," said the filly. "Who are you?"
"Who are you?!" asked Kyle.
"My name's Babs Seed," said the filly.
"Kyle Broflovski," said Kyle, then he realized something. "You're a talking pony," he said.
"So are you," said Babs, showing the formerly-human Earth Pony a mirror. Kyle screamed.
"This must be some kind of dream!!" he shouted.
"Nope," said Babs, "it's real."
Kyle sighed. "Where are my friends?!" he asked.
Babs shrugged.
"Oh, you're very helpful," Kyle said sarcastically.
Cartman woke up in a hot air balloon that was resting on a cloud.
"Oh, good," said a blue pony with rainbow mane. "You're awake."
"Get away from me, you gay pony," said Cartman.
The pony's eye twitched. "What did you just call me?" she asked angrily.
"Gay," said Cartman.
The pony growled and attacked Cartman, beating him to the point where he was nearly unconscious. "Nopony calls Rainbow Dash 'gay.'"
"But I'm not a pony," said Cartman.
"Yeah you are," said an orange pony with purple mane. "You're an Earth Pony, so we had to put you in a balloon before you fell and got hurt."
"Quiet, Scootaloo," said Rainbow Dash. "Now, anyway..."
Kenny had no idea how it had happened, but he was out of his parka and in the most fabulous and comfortable pajamas he had ever worn. "Where am I?" he asked, stretching his wings.
"Why, in Ponyville, of course," said a white pony with blue mane and a sorta-English accent. "I assume you're from Cloudsdale?"
"Nope," said Kenny, "I'm from South Park."
"Never heard of it," said the pony. At that moment, a white filly with multi-colored mane trotted over to Kenny. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Kenny," said Kenny.
"I'm Sweetie Belle," said the filly. "Nice to meet you."
"I'm Rarity, said the first pony. "Now, you two go play while I work on this very important dress." Sweetie and Kenny went outside.