Morty lounged on his sofa deep within the Canterlot castle dungeon. He had always wondered what it would be like to have free time, turns out it’s incredibly boring when you have nothing to do during the free time.
The partially skeletal Draconequus gave a yawn; reveling in the echoed sound of his jaw closing at this point the smallest things were more amusing then sitting in silence.
Morty gave a sigh and slowly rolled off the side of his sofa the clattering of bones hitting the floor echoed throughout the dungeon that he currently called home. Celestia and Luna had made it quite clear he was welcome anywhere within the castle; they assured him the staff had dealt with stranger. But freely moving amongst mortals was a new experience to him.
Other than the few times Celestia and Luna and come down to try and convince him to leave his dungeon his only visitor was a rather strange Changeling who came down once a week in order to punish her rubber duck in his bath tub. She refused to make eye contact and any attempt at communication on his part usually ended with her screaming and running away.
“Okay Morty” The Draconequus began speaking to himself “We’re a little rusty on our people skills, but we’re going to go insane if we stay down here. So let’s go up there and meet some ponies.” With that the large Draconequus made his way up the dungeon staircase, stopping every few seconds to reassure himself that it would be fine.
“Just open the door” Morty told himself as he placed two talons on the doorknob and slowly began to turn it. Light flooded into the staircase momentarily blinding him as he stepped out into the hall. After a few seconds his “eyes” finally adjusted revealing the bustling main hall of Canterlot Castle he watched as Servants and guards continuously passed him with little to no reaction, the odd pony casting him a quick glance and continuing on their way.
“Excuse me” Morty spoke as he leaned down towards one of the guards
“Yes my Lord?” the Guard answered with a salute
“Lord?” Mortimer repeated in confusion. “I feel I’m missing something.”
“Princess Celestia informed us that you would be staying within the castle for some time. She informed us that you were to be treated as any other member of the Royal family.”
“Was everyone informed?” The Draconequus asked as he scanned the hall, looking for any signs of shock caused by his presence.
“Castle guards and staff were all informed and given a clear description of your appearance as to avoid any panic that may have been caused. And if I may be so bold as to say my Lord, you look as awesome as she described.”
If his head wasn’t a skull, Morty would have probably been blushing a little. Apparently since the last time he had attempted to socialize with ponies they had gone from attempting to burn him at the stake to thinking he looked “Awesome”
“Well I’m glad to hear nobody will be panicking-“ as if on cue Morty was cut off midsentence by the Screams of the Changeling Queen as she stared at the god of death.
“It has escape!” Chrysalis shrieked as bolted off in the opposite direction.
“Forgive her my Lord” the guard spoke “She is unwell in the head.”
“Let’s be honest though” Morty spoke with a hollow chuckle “Is anyone in this place well in the head?”
The guard silently shook his head “So, how may I help you my lord?”
Mortimer paused as he tried to remember exactly what he had wanted to ask the guard for and after a couple seconds of thought, the question he had returned.
“Could you escort me to Princess Luna or Princess Celestia? I haven’t had a chance to memorize the layout of the castle.”
“Well that’s actually easier said than done.” The guard answered with an awkward chuckle “Princess Luna is currently out of the castle dealing with some diplomatic issues.”
“And Celestia?”
“Princess Celestia retired a couple of days ago.”
Mortimer paused for a moment as he processed what the guard had just said. Celestia had ruled Equestria an incredibly long time and for her to just give up her position on the throne seemed quite strange even by her standards.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Quite sure my Lord, though judging by the records this would be the 5th time she’s retired in the last 300 years so I can only assume it isn’t permanent. Would you like me to bring you to Equestrian’s current Princess?
“And who would that be?”
“Princess Twilight Sparkle” The guard answered “Princess Celestia personal student.”
“Interesting” Morty spoke with a skeletal grin “I think we could have some fun with this.”
Elsewhere in the Castle
Princess Twilight Sparkle sat in her throne room doing what she did best, filling out glorious paperwork. Since becoming a Princess her life had become essentially perfect, she had the power to make everything organized and everyone had paperwork for her to fill out, but that was something she got great joy from.
Sure every now and again she’d have to assert her dominance over Nightmare, Discord or Chrysalis but that was a simple task.
“Run for your lives!” Came a familiar voice as the throne room doors flew open and a panicked Changeling Queen came running in. “It’s going to devour us all!”
Twilight gave sigh “What’s the problem now Chrysalis? Did you eat Nightmare’s snacks again?”
“Sparkle this isn’t the time for jokes!” the Changeling Queen panted “The demon Luna summoned has escaped from the dungeon.”
The lavender Alicorn scoffed “As if I’m going to fall for that trick, you just want me to beat up Nightmare or Discord for yo-“
Twilight paused as the throne room doors slowly began to open; she could feel her heart slowing as she realized there were no planned guests in her court today and that both Discord and Nightmare were out on “personal business” as they put it.
“Hello?” came a hollow voice from outside of the room
“Hello?” Twilight answered as she shifted her gaze between the panicked Changeling Queen and the partially open doorway.
Twilight watched in complete and total horror as a large Draconequus shaped skull entered the room two red flames floating where the eyes should be. Twilight fear only intensified as the Draconequus body fully entered the room, it was massive nearly twice the size of Discord and where the bone wasn’t showing black fur covered.
“Eat her first” Twilight shouted as she dived behind her throne leaving Chrysalis to fend for herself
“Woah, woah, woah, who’s eating who?” Morty asked in confusion
“You’re going to eat us!” Twilight shouted from behind her throne, casting a quick glance to Chrysalis who was still frozen in fear.
Mortimer titled his head in puzzlement “Where would get the idea I was going to eat you?”
Twilight peered over her throne and was startled by how close the demon had managed to get while she was looking away. “She said you were going to devour us.” Twilight spoke as she pointed towards the Changeling Queen still pounding on a side exit door in hopes that someone would unlock it.
“Now why would she say a thing like that?” Morty asked as he slithered over to the Changeling Queen who only noticed his approach after it was far too late.
“Oh sweet abyss just make it quick.” Chrysalis shouted as she assumed the fetal position and awaited what she believed to be her “Permanent” end.
“Who told you I was going to eat you?” Morty asked as he leaned down towards the terrified mare, his massive size blocking out the light leaving Chrysalis in the cool shade.
“Every time I die, you’re there in the abyss and you try to get me. Then I have to run all the way back to this world.” Chrysalis nervously answered as she stared the demon in the face, the two small flames where his eye should have been continued to look straight through her.
Morty gave a sigh and a facepalm “Did anyone bother to tell you who I was?”
Chrysalis shook her head
Mortimer snapped his talon and in an instance Discord and Nightmare flashed into existence.
“Oh this won’t be fun.” Nightmare muttered as she realized who summoned her.
“Nightmare” Morty spoke calmly “I need to make a demonstration, could you please kill Discord.”
Nightmare gave shrug as she turned to face the smaller Draconequus who was currently rapidly shaking his head as the idea of being murdered didn’t sound too appealing after how well the day had been going.
“Don’t do it.” Discord whispered “He’s not the boss of us.”
“What was that?” Mortimer hissed as he leaned down, placing himself at eye level with the other much smaller Draconequus
“I said you’re not the boss of us….” Discord spoke his confidence rapidly vanishing with each word.
“Nightmare, you have five seconds to remove Discord.” The Skeletal Draconequus spoke with no signs of emotions.
There was no hesitation as Nightmare produced a dagger from unseen location and promptly plunged it into Discord’s heart. “Nothing personal” Nightmare whispered “Actually it kind of is” she added after a short pause.
“So why’d you want me to kill him?” Nightmare asked as she released her magical grip on the dagger.
“Demonstration” Morty answered as he vanished a couple seconds later he reappeared with Discord alive once again.
“See I was there to pick you up” Morty spoke as he turned back to face Chrysalis who had resumed her attempts to escape. “Why are you still trying to run?” he asked with crossed arms.
“You just made Nightmare kill Discord” Twilight answered from her place behind the throne “That’s not a great way to get the point across that you’re not going to hurt us.”
“Oh….” Morty whispered as he placed a talon to his mouth “Yeah, nothing was thought out there.”
“Personally, I thought it was fun” Nightmare stated happily trotted away leaving the terrified Changeling Queen and newly crowned Princess alone with the living incarnation of death itself.
“I miss being a statue; I died a lot less that way.” Discord muttered as he scampered after the Midnight Alicorn determined to get as far away from Mortimer as possible and possibly closer to some semblance of safety.
Mortimer gave a sigh as he made his way over to the mare hiding behind the throne.
“You are Twilight Sparkle correct?” The Draconequus asked as he slowly peered over the throne.
“Yes” Twilight answered with a nervous nod.
“How do I convince you that I’m not going to eat you and or maim you?”
“Probably by not having one of us kill the other.”
“How about we just assume Discord did something and he deserved what he got.” Morty answered with an awkward chuckle. “If you couldn’t tell my people skills aren’t well suited for the living.”
“I didn’t even notice” Twilight stated sarcastically as she slowly found herself becoming more accustomed to the creatures presence. “So who are your people skills suited for?” she asked curiously
“The dead, the dying mostly anything that’s not alive or won’t be for much longer.”
“Yeah, you might not want to go around telling ponies that.”
“So Celestia has really told you nothing about me?” Morty asked with great confusion. This pony was Celestia’s personal student, surely she would have taught her about some of the more important things.
“If she had, I don’t think this situation would have happened” Twilight paused “Well Discord probably would have been killed still, but I don’t think Chrysalis would be hiding in the corner.”
Both Twilight and Mortimer paused as they turned to check on the Changeling Queen who was still rocking back and forth in the corner apparently unaware that the “Demon” was no longer anywhere near her.
Morty felt a tinge of annoyance over the fact that Celestia had not only neglected to inform the currently ruler that he was staying in the castle. But also managed to not even once mention his existence to the pony she was grooming to be her replacement. With a snap of his talons and a flash of light Celestia appeared in the room.
“Oh hi Morty” Celestia stated cheerfully as she raised her sunglasses “Finally decided to leave your dunge…” The white Alicorn’s trailed off as she took in the scene around her, Discord’s old body still remained on the floor. Twilight was currently hiding behind her throne and Chrysalis was curled up in the corner of the throne room.
“Oh!” Celestia began with a facehoof “That’s what I forgot to do!”
“Really?” Morty said with a sigh
“Yeah Twilight this is Mortimer the god of death, he’s living in the dungeon, be nice to him.” With that Celestia’s horn flared and she vanished.
“Not so fast” Morty stated with another snap of his talons, Celestia reappearing instantly “What about her.” The skeletal Draconequus asked as he pointed towards the Changeling Queen.
Celestia gave a defeated sigh “Fine” she muttered a she trotted over towards the Changeling Queen. “Hey you” the Alicorn spoke as she poked the Changeling Queen who yelped at the touch.
“Oh Celestia, thank the abyss!” The Changeling Queen shouted happily as she looked at her saviour “Luna’s demon has escaped the dungeon.”
“First off Chrysalis” Celestia began with a sigh “You’ve literally gone down there once a week to play with your rubber duck in his bathtub, why are you scared of him?”
“Luna said when he was down there he couldn’t hurt us as long as I didn’t interact with it.”
Both Celestia and Mortimer gave each other a glance that clearly showed Luna wouldn’t be seeing the next sunrise.
“Okay then, let’s begin slowly” Celestia spoke as she motioned towards Mortimer who slowly made his way over to Chrysalis followed closely by Twilight.
“Chrysalis, this is Mortimer” The sun goddess spoke as she pointed towards the Skeletal Draconequus “Mortimer, this is Chrysalis and Twilight Sparkle.” Nobody was sure if Mortimer was smiling at them but both Chrysalis and Twilight gave him a small wave.
“Mortimer is an old friend of Luna’s and mine and Chrysalis if you hadn’t run off screaming every time you died, you might have found out that’s he’s the ferrymen to the afterlife and he was only there to bring you back to Equestria.”
“Oh” Chrysalis whispered to herself “In my defense, that place is really confusing and he is basically the scariest thing I’ve seen.”
“Well he’s here as a guest, and technically he can’t actually kill someone. I was actually hoping that you three would get along.” Celestia finished with a grin.
“What do you mean Princess?” Twilight asked with slight confusion as she shifted her gaze between the three gods in front of her.
“Well you see Twilight, Mortimer was the one who taught Discord, Luna and I and I had hoped he would be able to teach you and Chrysalis a few more things, at least while he’s here. Besides, and don’t tell them this, not counting Sombra, you two are my favorite ponies in the castle. I’m not counting Sombra because quite honestly, I think he’s everyone’s favorite.”
Both Chrysalis and Twilight nodded in unison.
“No one pony should be that adorable” the lavender Unicorn added.
“But as I was saying” Celestia started speaking once again “You two are my personal favorites and if I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, I think an Alliance between the three of you would be great, both tactically and politically.”
“What do you mean politically?” Both Twilight and Chrysalis asked in unison
“You’re both rulers of two separate people, what better way to strengthen your alliance by using it to fight off other rulers? I mean with your army and Twilight’s zip ties you could be unstoppable.”
Both Twilight and Chrysalis gave each other a knowing glance as they both stood up.
“Well it was nice meeting you Mr.Mortimer” Twilight stated with a bow “I hope to talk with you again.”
“Yes, it was a pleasure getting to properly meet you.” Chrysalis stated “I’d also like to give you a fair warning, that Mr.Quackers regularly scheduled punishment will take place a few hours earlier this week.” With those final words both Chrysalis and Twilight silently trotted out of the throne room leaving Celestia and Mortimer alone.
“I can’t help but feel whatever happens next is my fault.” Celestia stated as she turned her gaze from the door towards Mortimer.
The Draconequus shrugged "What's the worst they could do?"
3 Hours later
Discord and Luna were dead, their towers in flames and all evidence of their existence had been carefully hidden. Even in war Twilight Sparkle's respect for books and knowledge kept her from destroying all traces of her enemies. Nightmare Moon had been easily convinced to join them and to prove her loyalty she had given Discord and Luna as sacrifices. Though Twilight and Chrysalis were quite sure that Nightmare had probably killed them before the war had begun, either way they were dead and that was all that mattered.
Mortimer and Celestia continued to watch from the sidelines as Twilight and Chrysalis continued with their battle plans. They had already devised several different ways to capture the Crystal Empire and from there they would make their way towards the Griffin Empires and eventually everything would be theirs.
"Should we stop them?" Morty asked as he watched the two mares cackle maniacally
"Actually I think it's about to sort itself out right about now" Celestia answered as she pointed towards the door slowly opening. After a second they continued to watch as Sombra stumbled in a light red night cap on his head and a sleeping Nibbles positioned on his back.
"You two please keep down?" He asked with a yawn as he approached the Alicorn and Queen
At the mere sight of the sleepy Unicorn the two power crazed mares found all their will for war quickly replaced by an infinite amount of "Daawws" as is the scientific term.
"I guess we can put it off till later" Twilight answered "I'm pretty tired anyways."
"Thank you" Sombra answered as he rubbed his eye and started heading back towards his room.
"If we could weaponize his adorableness" Chrysalis began "Nothing could stop us."
"Careful Chrysalis, that's too much power even for us." Twilight said with a yawn.