Silver Spoon followed her oldest and closest friend -not that that was really saying much, in either category- back into the house, both having gotten bored with the pool.
"Can you be-lieve the looks those blank flanks were giving us the other day, Silver?"
She nodded a bit. "I don't know what they were so mad about, they won the stupid flag competition."
"Dumb judges," Diamond grumbled, "must have been blind."
"Totally."
That whole thing had been weird, Silver thought, both that those crazy Cutie Mark Crusaders actually put together a decent act, and them getting so bent out of shape about what she and Diamond had said about Scootaloo not being able to fly. What was the big deal? They were telling the truth, weren't they?
...Ok, she could kinda see how it might have been a little mean, especially since they were just doing it to throw the other three off their game. She didn't quite understand why Diamond got like that sometimes, but it was almost always when the CMC were involved. She'd really wanted to ask Diamond why that was, Silver having more or less forgotten why she'd ever cared herself, but she always sorta... Glared, when Silver brought it up. Regardless, if Diamond didn't like somepony, neither did she. It might not always make sense, but friends stick by eachother, no matter what. Right?
Besides, Diamond was actually a pretty nice filly when you got to know her! She always kept her cool pretty well in public, but who didn't? Besides Pinkie Pie. When it was just the two of them, she'd make Silver laugh all the time! Even in public, she was pretty sure Diamond just wanted others to laugh, even if it was laughing at somepony. Usually the CMC... It didn't usually take much to accomplish that, the way those three carried on...
As they walked through the house, Diamond stopped in her tracks, ears perking up. She glanced back at Silver. "Do you hear that?"
Stopping to listen herself, she heard what sounded like an unfamiliar voice. Guests? It sounded like a stallion, one of Mr. Rich's business parters? It was getting closer. Diamond nodded to her, they'd been through this like, a hundred times already. They'd smile, look cute, and compliment something about Whoever and they wouldn't have to hear about 'disrespectful fillies not knowing their place' or any of that other grown-up speak for 'I don't like you' that Diamond and Silver's parents always seemed to think was their fault somehow.
As they rounded the corner, they could see him talking to Diamond's butler, both peering closely before recognition hit them like a sack of bricks. The two immediately shot back around the corner, stammering so badly neither could articulate a single syllable clearly before both needed to pause for breath. They spoke in a shouted whisper together.
"PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!!"
It was several seconds before they could compose themselves through their mutual excitement and panic at having actual royalty visit them. They quickly looked eachother, themselves, and eachother over again to see if they were presentable for meeting the Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria™, determined that of course they both looked perfect as always, but couldn't contain their butterflies as they did their best to saunter around the corner again, channeling Sweetie Belle's sister with all their little beings.
"Good afternoon, sirs," Diamond began, snout held high, which Silver mimicked, "a fine day to you both." She glanced as non-chalantly as possible at Blueblood, her eyes lingering a few seconds longer than she'd intended them to. "I wish to welcome you to Rich Manor." She motioned to the butler. "Randolph, would you be so kind as to introduce us to our vistor?"
Randolph opened his mouth over the span of five seconds, just starting to verbalize when Diamond cheerfully spoke up again. "I'm Diamond Dazzle Tiara," she gestured to Silver with a hoof, "This is Silver Spoon." The grey filly bowed a little, a nervous, ear-to-ear grin the only hole in her performance.
A rather formal greeting for foals their age, Blueblood thought, they remind me of the high-born mares back home. He unintentionally went into Canterlot Party Auto-pilot and ignored the pink one as she went on as a thought occured to him, not a hint of it showing through the practiced, stoic expression he wore. Look at them. So young and yet taught to behave like 'model ponies,' likely not so much as asked their own opinions on the matter. Wasn't I raised the same way? Wasn't I instructed through most of my youth to act in perfect accordance with what would be expected of a Prince of Canterlot? And what did I become? Or my peers, barring a few? What did the noblemares who, for bits and some hollow, senseless pretense of prestige, chase me become, the very sort these girls may grow into? Good ponies?Admirable ponies? Happy ponies? No.
In those two fillies, Prince Blueblood saw everything that had ever been wrong with the Canterlot Elite, especially himself. At that moment, he felt something in him die. He also felt something snap.
He heard the pink one -Diamond Tiara, was it?- project a tone that suggested she was asking a question. Noticing Randolph had apparently hobbled away, he hoped it had been asking his name, as was only polite. He grinned. There would be no Pompous Prince today, only... What had Vinyl called Fancy Pants? A Class Act...
"Call me Vladimir!"
The tiny pair blinked, not sure they heard him correctly.
He chuckled. "Maybe just 'Blueblood', then?" Smiling wider, he looked around a bit. "Well, let's not just stand here all day, what's there to do for fine young fillies like yourselves?"
Silver felt a blush that went up to her ears. His face, his voice, his everything, it was too much! Bursting with excitement, she let out a long, high-pitched scream as she began hopping up and down in place, if only to expel some of the energy in her legs, somewhat relieved to see Diamond doing roughly the same thing.
They're screaming, Blueblood thought, eyebrow raised in mild caution, so they're not completely trained yet. He could remember his nanny's stern words.
"Nobleponies don't scream, don't shout, don't exclaim louder than is warranted by the situation, and royalty must adhere to a higher standard than-"
He shook his head. No time for that now, think! What would Vinyl Scratch do...?
Clearing his throat, he nabbed the excitable foals in his magic, gently setting them down as they adapted to the calmer state of just beaming at him, eyes shining with wonder. "Now, now," he said with a friendly grin, "we won't accomplish much standing here." He let them go, the two shaking with excitement for a moment before they look at eachother, looked back at Blueblood, and the jumping and screaming started again.
While the biggest celebrity to visit their home stood flummoxed, Diamond and Silver traded glances, reading eachother as close friends sometimes do.
'He's just going to think we're crazy, Di!'
'I can see that, Sil!'
'So shouldn't we stop?'
'So stop.'
'I can't!'
'Ugh. I have a plan, follow my lead!'
Diamond mustered the self-control to stop bouncing, holding Silver down with a hoof until she quit jittering as well, face still split in a painfully wide grin. She bowed politely to their visitor. "If you'll excuse us for just a moment, sir, my friend and I may need a moment or two alone." She started walking away, dragging Silver along with her. She looked over her shoulder and winked. "We won't be too long~"
A moment later, they were out of sight, leaving Blueblood to contemplate his next move.
Around the corner, Silver whispered to her friend, finally having retrieved her ability to speak. "Whatareyoudoing?!"
Diamond blinked, whispering back. "What?"
She reddened slightly, forehooves flailing inarticulately for a moment. "Th-th-the... Winking! What was that about?"
Diamond chuckled. "What," she said with a brief toss of her mane, "isn't it obvious? It's only natural a beautiful lady like me should act like that around the stallion who's clearly come to ask my hoof in marriage."
Silver's brain stopped working. "...Duh?"
The apparently engaged filly nodded with a grin, straightening her namesake tiara with a hoof. "Duh. He came to my house, and Randolph led him straight to me, what else could it mean?"
Well, Silver thought, It kindof makes sense... I think? Every filly dreams of a dashing price to sweep them off their hooves someday, but to see it actually happen was something else. She was a little disappointed it wasn't her he had come for, but she'd be happy for her friend anyway!
She smiled. "O-okay, what's the plan?"
"Easy," Diamond replied with her usual confidence, "we hang around until he gives me a ring, then comes wedding plans!" She glanced around the corner to find the prince still waiting, a thoughtful look on his perfectly-sculpted face. "Let's head back, before he gets bored or something."
Silver nodded assent as the two trotted back, much more in control of themselves this time. Not that I'm heartbroken, of course... She'd never tell anypony, but there may or may not have been a colt that Silver'd already had her eye on for a while.
Oh good, Blueblood thought, they're coming back! I may not be able to match Operation H.T.T.G.F.B. in scale, somepony will probably get hurt if I do, but I may yet pull these poor fillies from the empty, senseless lives they're en route for! He knew just what to do!
"Hello again. I have an idea that requires something old and likely not touched in a long time. Might you two be able to tell me where your storage rooms are...?"
---
"Shoot, it's locked!"
The three stood outside a fairly heavy door, Diamond Tiara having just tested the handle to find it firmly sealed.
Silver Spoon drew a hoof to her chin in contemplation as Blueblood realized he no longer had his Skeleton Key with him. That's right, he thought, I didn't bring anything with me in Grandfather's suit, I couldn't find anything I'm sure was a pocket, so I left the key and everything else I usually carry in another coat. Probably still hanging on a rack in my chambers... It didn't matter, he specifically recalled that there had been no breaking and entering in his and Vinyl's caper. The means by which he entered Club Canterlot didn't count.
He looked to the fillies. "Have either of you an idea where we might get the key?"
Diamond nodded a bit, glaring at the door. "Yea, daddy probably has it, and he's out of town right now."
Silver spoke, face lighting up a little. "The basement at my place is never locked, maybe there's something down there?"
---
Silver and Diamond led the way through town, Blueblood behind them as some ponies stared, though he wasn't certain why.
The two in front whispered out of the corners of their mouth to eachother.
"Why would he want something old and dusty, Di?"
"I'unno, maybe he's looking for an antique ring to propose to me with?"
Silver deadpanned just slightly. "An antique ring from a different family, when he could probably afford ten newer, even nicer rings?"
Diamond smirked. "I love a colt that can keep me guessing~"
Silver gave the quietest groan she could manage without the prince hearing them, smiling a little.
Diamond giggled in reply. "So what's the deal with your basement? If there's a lot of valuable stuff down there, why isn't the door locked?"
The grey filly tinted a shade paler. "Uhm..."
There was a slight edge to her closest friend's voice. "Silverrrrr?"
"W-well, uh, nana says it doesn't need a lock because it's sorta..." She gulped. "Spooky?"
Now Diamond deadpanned. "Spooky."
Silver nodded a bit. "I went down there alone one time... We'll just grab something and head out, right?"
"Riiiiiight..."
Unheard by the three of them, the freshest product of any small town circulated: Gossip.
"A grown stallion with little fillies...?"
"Wealthy pony playdate? That's adorable!"
"They're all rich, right? Maybe they're family?"
"That is sooo not how family works."
"Maybe they're getting deported to Canterlot?"
"That's ridiculous!"
"How long have you lived here?"
"Point taken."
"Those two must have done really done something if the prince himself is coming for them."
"Wasn't Pinkie Pie looking for him?"
"Last I saw her, she was going the exact opposite direction of where they're going now..."
---
This time!
This time, Pinkie was sure she would set up the welcome party in the right place, THIS TIME, she'd bring out the welcome wagon, sing a song, and the Prince would make lots of friends! Then he and Rarity could forget about all the bad stuff between them and be fancy buddies! Kinda like that other fancy pony that doesn't wear pants, what was his name again? I think it started with an "R" because he has a moustache and-she slapped herself with a hoof, now was no time to get distracted!
She stood at the door of Rich Manor, Filthy's place. Don't think about the name. Don't think about the name. Don't think abou-well don't just stand here thinking about what you're not thinking about, either!
She rapped the door repeatedly with a hoof. A few moments later, it was answered by Randolph, who, if he had any reaction to the wide-eyed pony with the slightly deflated mane at the door, didn't show it. "Hrrmmmyyyes?"
Pinkie grinned wider than usual. "HI! I'm here to help set up the party Prince Blueblood is having at the biggest, swankiest house in Ponyville!" Of course he'd come here, I should have known it! And I did, it just took a while! Now I just have to-
Randolph slowly inclined his elderly head inquisitively. "P...Party?"
Pinkie nodded like a woodpecker without a beak. "YES! Don't worry about the invitations, I'm sure he can use the Royal Shouty Thing to call everypony that wants to come once we're all set up," she inched toward the entrance, "now if I could just-"
Randolph didn't move, instead channeling whatever energy he had at that moment into speech. "Master Blueblood... Has already departed."
Pinkie paid no attention to the feeling of something soft completely flattening against her head, which felt just slightly heavier now for some reason. "What."
The old butler took a deep breath, but it proved to be for nothing.
"WHAT?!"
Once more. "He... Has left for... The Spoon residence..." Randolph quietly observed that no, he wasn't the only pony who had problems with his head twitching uncontrollably every now and again. That was comforting, in a way.
Pinkie beamed, but the sizes gained by her grin were lost by her pupils, shrunk to pinpricks. Of course! OF COURSE! Wrong rich-pony place, silly me! I'll just... Head over there, yea! This party will go GREAT!!
---
As foretold, there was no lock on the door. Silver instinctively shuffled behind Diamond when the door creeeeeaaaked open, smiling nervously at Blueblood. "Y-you first, your majesty!"
He chuckled. "Just Blueblood, if you'd please." He started down the stone stairs, too preoccupied with thoughts of harmless -to ponies- adventure to notice the cobwebs, cracked walls, or generally dusty, dark atmosphere of the Silver family's basement.
At least that's what the fillies watching him go guessed, nodding to eachother that they should probably follow.
They made their way past several boxes, cabinets, drawers, and closets that looked like they'd not been accessed in a while, but Blueblood pressed forward, trusting his special talent would steer them in the direction of that which he sought; something really old that nopony would really miss, but had qualities they could entertain themselves with for a bit. That was how Vinyl did it, right?
It wasn't long before a light spell was needed to see where they were going, but that so much space was dedicated to keeping things was, for the three ponies of privelidge, no surprise at all.
"Are you sure you know where you're going, Prince Blueblood?" Silver's eyes indicated as much uncertainty as her voice as Blueblood glanced back at her. "I don't think anypony in my family has been down here in... Like, decades, at least." It's not even that scary. Dark, sure, but not too scary, down here with an adult with magic.
He smiled. "All the more likely we'll find something long-forgotten then, is it not? Perhaps even a glimpse into history."
"History?!" Diamond's un-scholarly side showed itself against her will. "I-I mean, why would we want to find... Stuff like that?" She glanced around at the dusty containers, not wanting to sound like the dunce Cheerilee probably thought she was.
Blueblood didn't seem to notice. "One can learn a great deal from those who came before." I learned Grandfather spent more time, and bits, on things that apparently didn't make him happy than anypony who ever lived, according to Auntie. I will not make the same mistake. "I would ask that you bear with me for a time, we'll head back soon if nothing intriguing can be found." He grinned back at them. "Then we can get ice cream, deal?"
Both fillies beamed in response, answering in unison. "Deal!"
He chuckled, returning his eyes forward to find he was just about to bump into a the dead end of the long basement. A Wall. A Door? He backed up a bit, taking in the details of the surface in front of him.
It was a tall, black, wooden slab, covered with faint, red markings of no apparent rhyme or reason. That, he had learned from a Daring Do book or two, was generally a bad sign, dark occult weavings likely not far behind, but he could feel in his gut that behind this... Thing, was what he was looking for, the means by which he'd find these fillies something more to live for than the hollow posturing and conceit that comes with the Canterlot lifestyle.
He looked back at the foals, who stared at the black surface curiously. "Might either of you know what this is?"
Silver tilted her head as she examined the thing. "It looks like... Some kindof puzzle? Or, a map? It's so worn, I can't even..."
Diamond rolled her eyes. "It's too dusty!" She stepped forward, drew in a breath, and blew on the black wall as hard as she could, sending grey clouds everywhere.
Three coughing fits and three uses of a cleansing spell to remove the dust from three ponies later, they looked upon the unknown slab again, this time finding more red marks.
"Hmm," Blueblood hmm'd, "perhaps we need only a little more...?" He used the cleansing spell on the wall, the red image much clearer now. It was appeared to be a massive... Spoon? He glanced back at Silver, the one on the door looked a lot like her cutie mark, only with a skull and cross-bones where she had a heart in the handle. It was roughly at that point he noticed both fillies were starting wide-eyed at the upper part of the wall. Looking for himself, he saw the letters.
Beware Ye Who Enter!
He looked back at Diamond and Silver, not noticing the eyes in the skull in the spoon in the wall start to light up. "Well, this might not be quite what I had in mind, what say we try-"
He was interrupted by the wall behind him emitting a loud noise akin to a spell being cast, rumbling, and the floor the three of them stood on rapidly moving, it, them, and the wall now spinning as all three let out a cry of alarm. When it stopped, they found themselves in another location, and more than a little disoriented. With help of a light spell, they could see the area was comprised primarily of dark, flat stones, give or take the occasional patch of moss growing on the walls and ceiling. The chamber had only two exits, the one that just deposited them where they were, and a long, lightless corridor that breathed cool air into the room.
Ok, Silver thought, Now it's spooky. "Uhm, P-Prince Blueblood...?" She glanced at him before giving Diamond a worried look. "Maybe we should head back?"
Examining the immediate surroundings, he couldn't help agreeing, this was looking to be a little more than he'd hoped for. He turned his attention to the... Wall? Oh, dear. Well, my spatial awareness tells me this is the same wall that had the red markings, maybe if I just... He tried the cleansing spell on the wall again. And again. Once more. Whatever triggered the wall the first time didn't seem to be working twice... He gave Diamond and Silver, huddling close to eachother as the situation started to sink in, the most confident grin he could manage.
"J-just a moment, girls, I'm sure I'll have us on the other side of this thing soon..."
---
Something was wrong.
Is it me?
No.
Are you sure?
No.
That's ok, neither am I!
It wasn't ok.
But it will be, right?
Maybe. The prince was supposed to be here, Discord was nice enough to lend a maid outfit to make getting into the Spoon place easier.
There weren't that many spoons.
You know what else we didn't really find there?
Soup!
Yes, and?
The prince! Blueblood isn't there, no matter where I look, no matter WHERE I go, he's always not at that place! I thought he was supposed to be good at finding stuff, why can't he even find HIS OWN PARTY?!
You know why.
No I don't!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
DO NOT!!
---
"Ok, Di, your turn!"
"Does it have precious stones?"
"No."
A flash of light.
"Does it come from Prance?"
"No."
Crackling noises.
"Does it taste good?"
Silver giggled. "Probably not!"
The roar of flames rising and dying out again.
"Hm... Do you keep it in the house somewhere?"
"Not really, no."
Several flashes in rapid succession.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat in the cleanest area they could find near Blueblood and the door, not wanting to venture too far into this place, but keeping out of range of the spells he had resorted to using over the last half-hour.
Diamond's brow ruffled in frustration. "Is it the word 'no'?"
Silver burst out laughing, Diamond smiling a little herself. "N-no!"
"I give up, what is it?"
The sounds and lights just out of their peripheral vision suggested a truly elaborate fireworks display.
Silver smiled with just a hint of sadness. "The sun. Starting to worry when we'll see it again, y'know?"
Diamond deadpanned. "You're kinda dark sometimes."
"Of course I am," she retorted with mock indignance, "that's what happens when you can't see the sun!"
After a brief silence, the two giggled like fillies that weren't trapped in a dark tunnel. Blueblood trudged over to them, the tip of his horn smoking and face somewhat downcast. "It seems I must apologize, there's not a single spell of mine that seemed to yeild any helpful results."
Standing up at this, Diamond smiled. "Great, so can we go exploring?"
The other two looked at her more than a little incredulously, awaiting elaboration.
She adjusted her namesake tiara a bit with a hoof, rather non-chalant. "If we can't head back, might as well take a look around, huh?"
Blueblood and Silver glanced at one another before the former spoke, grinning a bit as he regained some of that head-strong confidence he'd been trying to channel since they found themselves trapped. Vinyl wouldn't panic. "She does have a point, this chamber wouldn't exist if that corridor led nowhere, no?" He projected as much of that regal, hopefully-heroic tone into his voice as possible as he took point down the dark tunnel, rekindling the light spell he'd been using earlier. "There must be another way out, we need only seek it!" Vinyl wouldn't panic. Vinyl wouldn't panic. Vinyl wouldn't panic...
The two fillies, one looking considerably less sure about these proceedings than the other, followed him, for lack of better ideas. Walking behind, they once again whispered to eachother.
"What the hay are you thinking, Di?!"
She gave Silver a confused, slightly annoyed look. "What? I've gotta do something to impress my handsome prince, and not freaking out's all that really came up."
Pale braids shook with an incredulous little head, even if that head bore a little smile. "You're crazy, you know that?"
Diamond quickly reached up with a forehoof to haughtily brush a few locks of her mane aside, a tricky task while walking, grinning proudly. "It's ok to be jealous, I know how amazing I can be. Besides, you don't wanna just sit around in the dark all day, do you?"
She very much didn't, and lacking any better ideas, stuck with the plan: Follow Prince Blueblood and hope for the best.
This was quickly tested.
SSSHINHCHK!!
The three ponies in the tunnel jumped in fright as a massive, rusty blade imbedded itself in the masonry to their left after having swung through a deep slit in the opposite wall with a shower of sparks, missing the prince by scant centimeters.
Free of gaping, fatal wounds, for now, Blueblood sloooowly turned to face the girls. He spoke quietly when they made eye contact, his face betraying only wide-eyed alertness. "Alright. Coming this way was quite possibly a grave mistake, but with it being no less true now than a few minutes ago that the entrance is sealed, we must proceed very, very carefully. Do you understand?"
The two nodded, despite a frightened tremble working it's way into their movements. Silver hoped her glasses would hide the tears that began to form at the thought that they may die down here in the dark before Diamond spoke up.
"Pfft, p-please!" She shook her head, smiling confidently. "Anything this place throws at us, the prince can handle," she looked directly at him, "right?"
Both he and Silver looked into her eyes, seeing not a trace of fear or uncertainty. Diamond looking more like a filly coming along on a class fieldtrip, her cheerful little grin bringing to mind thoughts of a pleasant day out of school and perhaps a stop at a souvenir stand. Silver couldn't help smiling a little, her fears somewhat loosened at the thought as Blueblood grinned himself.
"Right, let us be off!" As he continued his earlier stride, head up and light spell active in his horn, he spoke loudly enough that the two following behind could hear him, not wanting to break watch to talk over his shoulder. "I would imagine we triggered a trap there a minute ago, so we need only exercise caution to avoid others."
He kept his eyes forward, particularly looking to the floor for pressure plates or tripwires or something. But how do I know there aren't magical triggers as well? The door, wall, thing was most likely enchanted or something, if it only opened in response to a spell, but then, why wouldn't it open when I used almost every spell I knew on the other side? Regardless, I must stay vigilant, must stay-
He stopped as the next floor tile he stepped on descended a few centimeters, immediately followed by a lound rumbling sound behind them. He whipped his head toward the foals, who had jumped at the sudden noise. "RUN!!"
Though he was still inexplicably handsome while panicked, Prince Blueblood's facial expression completely erased whatever composure Silver had by this point. She and Diamond sprinted after him, traps apparently being triggered all over the place as things flew through the air around the three fleeing, screaming ponies to the sounds of clicking and shifting stone. They ran aimlessly, but kept together, more and more old machinery activated by their terrified charge through the tunnels until they hit what they'd collectively feared most at that moment; a dead end.
They skidded to a stop, turning on their hind hooves to spin in the direction they'd come, Blueblood wishing he'd taken his brother-in-law's offer to learn shield spells from the best in the Royal Guard, if only in that field, as they waited for the destructive cacophony to catch up to them. 'No need for a shield,' I said, 'The best defense is a good offense,' I said! Only billowing dustclouds were visible in the clattering chaos that seemed to draw closer by the second, the noise almost deafening when it closed in on them, Blueblood stepping forward to protect the fillies as best he could, if only as a meat-sheild. As it neared, however, it rapidly lost volume, speed, and intensity as a single wooden bowl rolled on it's side towards them, stopping at one of the prince's forehooves.
He looked down at it. "Huh."
"Huh?" Diamond and Silver asked in unison, "'Huh' what?"
The three looked down the hallway they'd just run through to find a mess of miscellaneous things, some broken, and all fairly old. From how calm and quiet it all was now, one might not have even guessed what had just happened, if not for the disarrary of objects all over the place.
Still, Blueblood didn't dare look away from the scene, still half-expecting some final trap to come along and be the one to finish them off... Or at least leave bruises. "Is everypony alright?"
The foals looked themselves over for a moment, finding nothing amiss. Diamond shrugged a bit. "Told'ja we'd be fine, Sil."
While Silver gave her a disbelieving stare, the eldest pony of the bunch took a few slow, cautious steps forward, stopping the other two with a hoof when they moved to follow. "Please, wait here," he uttered, voice as calm and even as he could project it to be, "I'll make certain there are no more traps waiting to be triggered."
They watched with worried eyes as he cantered back into the last room they'd sprinted through, each step taken as though he'd expected a new avalance of projectiles to be unleached with the hoof-fall. When he reached the middle of the room, he stopped, looked around, and moved back towards the doorway close to Diamond and Silver. They saw his horn light up and a cluster of objects start flying about the room, loudly slamming into things at random.
The fillies waited until the cacophony died down before asking the first thing that came to their minds. "Uhm, P-Prince Blueblood," Silver started, "why were you-"
Diamond interrupted, possibly more bothered about having had to wait for an answer to her confusion than the confusion itself. "What in Equestria was that about?! Why were you banging pots and pans all over the place?"
He turned his head enough that they could see him beaming, a mischevious glint in his eyes. "Ohh, we'll get to that! First, however, what does it tell you that I was using pots and pans to make a lot of noise?"
Though she scowled slightly, Diamond resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She hated pop-quizzes! "Uhh... That you probably have professional music ponies come to the castle for a reason?"
Ignoring the possible jab at his prospects as a bard, he kept smiling. "And?"
She raised an eyebrow as Silver tried to come up with a reason herself, in case he asked. "Thaaaat you have cooks for the same reason?"
He chuckled. "Well, yes, but that's not quite what I'm getting at."
Silver blurted out her answer the moment he glanced in her direction. "Therearepotsandpansdownhere!"
Blueblood and Diamond blinked, replying in unison. "What?"
Grey fur turned a shade red as she spoke slower, smiling somewhat sheepishly. "This place has pots and pans, and those wouldn't be down here if it was just a trap, right?"
The prince nodded approvingly. "Right! While it's not strictly impossible that such things would be brought along otherwise, it, and the presence of some of the other things lying around down here, implies that somepony lived here at some point." He levitated nearby pillow where Diamond and Silver could see it. "Would there be much reason to have cushions in a deathtrap? Or a dungeon? It could have been part of the storage facility, but then, why all these traps?" He didn't want to kill any more time with question games at this point, having much better ideas about how to help these fillies do something fun and senseless with a side of destruction. "Traps are made to inflict harm, when they're abandoned, they're security that may outlive any sentry, and this place, it seems, is long abandoned. Somepony lived here, doesn't anymore, but still set traps, so I imagine there's something interesting to be found, don't you?"
The tiny pair, mostly Silver, looked uncertain. "But," she muttered, "S-shouldn't we focus on getting out of here, because there are probably more traps?"
They couldn't help staring a bit at his charming grin. "And that brings us to the noise. I was banging pots and pans all over the place to trigger any traps we hadn't yet. While there were none in this room, it was still pretty cathartic. Have the two of you never wanted to lash out, just throw grace and civility to the wind for a moment and fly off the handle, as it were?"
Diamond was involuntarily beaming her most viscious smile about halfway through the last sentence before Silver responded to the question. "But, we can't do that, not like you, at least! Earth ponies?"
He nodded, picking up a dented kettle with his mouth, speaking around it. "Lahk t'is!" With a flick of his head, the threw the kettle, which smacked into a torch sconce on the other side of the room. "We can use the miscellaneous rubbish lying about here as ammunition against possible traps, just throw things all over the place in each room we venture into from a safe distance and we should be in tip-top shape to uncover the secret all these traps conceal."
He gave another princely smile, the shining DING of his teeth enough to scatter Silver's attention as Diamond moved to pick up a wooden plate and hurl it like a frisbee in no particular direction, grinning as it impacted a vase that hadn't been destroyed earlier. "No traps there," she said with a pleased grin, "lemme go check that cabinet..."
Over the sounds of more destruction, Silver looked uncertain, regarding Blueblood with a pleading gaze. "But... My mom would flip if she'd heard I'd been breaking stuff!" She could already hear the 'filly of your position's and 'raised you better than that's she'd be force-fed if her parents suspected she was doing... Well, what Diamond was busily doing right now.
CRASH!! "Oooh, look! Now there's even more stuff to throw!" CRACK!!
What Silver didn't know was that Blueblood could hear her mother's yet-unspoken scoldings too, as he did so many times before from anypony but Celestia that'd helped raise him. Luckily, he'd heard more than she likely ever would on the matter, and, grinning, knew just what to say in response. "Oh, I couldn't agree more, ponies of wealth and influence such as ourselves shouldn't partake of such barbarism if it can be helped." He dialed up the perfectly-practiced regality in his voice, making the occasional emphatic gesture with a forehoof. "Ponies such as ourselves are smart, sensible beings, we analyze our surroundings, determine where we wish to go, make use of the resources at hoof, and make our way, setting an example for all of Equestria to follow."
Silver nodded, glancing at Diamond as she tossed the fractured remains of a wooden table at the walls of a conjoining hallway. "Then, why are we-"
His grin hadn't faltered. "Analyze your surroundings."
She blinked, stammering for a few seconds as she got her thoughts together. "Uhm, w-we, uh... We're in a tunnel, or something?"
The prince nodded, urging her to go on.
"Aaaand... There's a bunch of... Stuff, all over the place... And traps!"
Still grinning. "Where do you wish to go?"
"I, uh, I don't... Out of here?"
"The resources at hoof?"
Starting to get what Diamond had apparently just mastered with a broken dresser drawer, Silver hesitantly grinned. "The old stuff in the rooms?"
The lesson nearly complete, he winked, Silver inadvertendly looking away with a furious blush. "Then we make our way, like proper ponies of our position. No mother would fault that, would they?"
Still flushed, she smiled a bit wider. "I-I guess not!"
He chuckled. "Right, off we-"CRUNCH!!
They both turned to look at Diamond, casually trotting towards them. "No traps in here or the hallway we came through, but we ran past a few doors between here and the entrance." She beamed. "Wanna go check for more traps, Sil?"
---
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do too.
Do not!
Do to-
ENOUGH!!
Do too.
Fine, I get it, alright?! He's avoiding me, he doesn't want to be friends with me or even let me sing the welcome song. This isn't new, is it? It's like the time with Cranky Doodle, ponies don't HAVE to like my parties, I'm just trying to-
You're giving up too easily.
...What?
Find him. MAKE him attend the party. Then you can all finally be friends.
But... I can't just-
Remember how Rarity used to talk about him?
I like the story where he gives her a ring. The diamond in it is always GINORMOUS!
Do you not want to help them be friends anymore?
Of course not, but-
No buts.
What would our legs be attached to?!
Go find him. He'll have a great time. Everypony loves your parties...
I'll find him. We'll have a great time. Everypony loves a party...
---
The three of them were, of course, careful, only throwing things from a good distance, as some of their projectiles did indeed trigger hazards as they slowly demolished almost everything. None of it seemed remotely valuable anyway, all gnarled wood and rusted metal, but eventually something caught the prince's eye. Levitating the object, a ratty-looking tome from a dusty table, he examined the contents while the fillies pulverized a chair by bucking it at the same time. The cover was unreadable, but the first legible writing caught his eye...
Entry 1: Lost me old log again. Happens every damn time I use that fire spell to get away! Don't matter, startin' new in more ways than one. I been couped up in this hole fer days now, but the loot's all still here. Runnin' low on food an' more importantly, rum! Gonna hafta peek out me hidey hole fer some grub.
Least this writin' spell works in the dark, I'll be needin' some lamp fixtures in here, too...
-LSS
Loot? Rum? Lamp fixtures? He kept reading.
Entry 2: Plenty of food 'round here, iffin' ya like apples. Ain't the same as Horseshoe Bay pineapples, even the hardest cider they got's... Lackin', some'ow. Nopony 'round here seems to recognize me, which makes hidin' out all the easier. Iffin' I'm to stay here, I can't be livin' in a cave, ponies get a might weirded out by that kinda thing...
Well, what good's loot iffin' ya never spend any'a the money? Figure I can get a 'ouse built up top, on the other side'a this tunnel.
-LSS
Entry 3: I'll be a mermare's tailfin. Knew I was good, knew the stuff I nabbed was worth a bundle, but it's lookin' like I'll be able to afford more 'n just a 'ouse. They're buildin' the foundations an' all right now, I can 'ear 'em hammerin' away at what'll soon be me own mansion.
Still, it's a might close to me hideout cave. While that was kinda the point, means I need to be careful, need to keep the loot safe. Can't have wanderin' ponies come take what I took, now can I...?
-LSS
Further entries seemed to indicate a number of modifications to the cave over the years, all apparently applied by the author herself, in addition to a spell of some sort thrown in without context. He learned it was a 'she' when the writing depicted a one-sided argument over whether or not emphasizing rump movement when walking was too much like the behavior of a Manehattan strumpet for a respectable mare like herself. Albeit a secret-pirate mare. Apparently this began when a colt in town caught her eye, referred to only as "Burner", the next several entries about trying to get his attention when not setting up traps in the cave, which she remodeled into the paved chambers they now found themselves in.
Looking around at the destruction wrought by him and the fillies he had guided, Blueblood couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Sure, they might have been seriously injured or even perished otherwise, but still... The three of them had only been strong enough to make a mess of wooden additions, such as chairs and tables, but it still meant they'd ruined what was apparently quite a lot of work. It was also at this point that he noticed the tumult of smashing furniture had ceased, and found Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the former looking a touch out of breath, looking up at him curiously as the book levitated near his head.
"A journal," he explained, showing them the pages, "apparently the owner, or former owner, of this, eh," He gave their surroundings a cursory glance, not sure about his word choice for even before they'd started making things worse, "residence. It doesn't say specifically where the traps were placed, but I'm hoping to find mention of an escape route or something."
"Whose journal is it," Silver asked, "does it say who lived down here?"
Diamond sat on her haunches as she followed the conversation, having exerted herself with much greater exuberance than her friend in letting off steam. And there's always more steam to let off, she thought with a grin.
The prince shook his head a little. "The only identification so far is LSS." He grinned. "Here's that glimpse into history I was talking about, I think."
Diamond groaned quietly, but Silver joined her in taking a seat, -so to speak, every chair was now shattered debris- beside her as Blueblood brought them up to speed. He paraphrased what he had learned so far doing much the same for the final entries, set a few years after the first.
Entry 42: I... I've done it. Secured a fortune, slipped away, built a new house, built a new identity... Built a new life. This, THIS is the dream, isn't it? Get rich, live rich, sit back and be happy? I can do that now... What was once a colt I couldn't stop looking at, is my lawfully wedded, tomorrow. Nopony ever came looking for me, nopony ever found the pirate that snuck off with the whole hoard of the backstabbingest son of a diamond dog in all the sea... Haha, it's been some time since I've let the old sailor talk slip! Anyway, if they came now? They still wouldn't find her. Just "A pretty unicorn filly from far away come to live in quieter parts of Equestria; Silver Spoon."
Both fillies let out a gasp when the name was spoken aloud, Diamond pointing an accustatory hoof at the grey filly beside her. "Y-You're an old pirate?!"
"NO!!" Silver started sputtering. "I-I, it's, I d-don't even-"
Blueblood, connecting a few dots, cleared his throat. "I suspect... I may know what's going on here."
The tiny pair turned to look at him, one with growing confusion, the other with hope.
He smiled a little. "Let us read on, shall we?"
I almost feel silly setting all this up now. All these traps I've been tip-hoofing over the last few years, waiting for the day somepony sneaks down here to make off with what remains of what I initially stole? Even installing that magical door backwards! It seems to foolish, looking back. There isn't near as much of the 'loot' I used to have, though still a good pile of gold...
There's no sense in coming down here anymore, but, I think... I think I wanted to be caught. That isn't too strange, is it? I spend all this time and effort to protect my hard-stolen treasure, keep a big secret from everypony... And it works! Mother used to tell me that they who do bad things get it themselves, sooner or later. Worst 'commuppance' I've had to endure was the day I wore a dress with flowers, REAL flowers, on the flanks the same day the beekeeper was in town... Even then, that was the day Burner finally noticed me... Running, screaming, and my rump covered in stinging insects...
Still, it's not what I thought I'd recieve the night I rowed the little boat I'd crammed all the bags into up to a little grotto, tied it to a stalagtite, and huddled up with a ratty old blanket my first night here. It's like... I really have started over, been given all I could really want, here in Ponyville, a relatively new town itself.
I've been mulling it over for a long time now, and there's no more doubt in my mind. I'm sinking the boat that's been sitting docked since I arrived, walling off that part of the cave... I think I'll just leave the traps, who's to say any of them even work, after all? If I couldn't install a magical pass-spell door, who knows what else I mucked up?
...I remember the first time I came in here after I put that damned door up, how I forgot it takes a particular spell as it's 'open' signal from one side, any at all from the other. This was to avoid trapping anypony on one side... and I installed it facing the wrong way.
"Finally," Diamond all but shouted, "can we get out of here?"
Silver nervously glanced between her impatient friend and the most prestigous pony they'd ever been in contact with, but Blueblood was indifferent to any percieved rudeness, very much wanting out of the tunnel himself. I've kept these fillies away from their normal lives all day without so much as telling anypony, I need to return them to the surface. Besides, it was likely well-past lunch, perhaps even dinner time, and he worried about being held responsible, even rightfully so, for the malnourishment of growing foals.
"I'm looking indications of the right spell," he said, "must be in here somewhere..."
Luckily, it returned to me eventually, I even wrote it down that day if I ever forgot it again...
He skimmed, looking for any sign of-oh, wait! Flipping back to the first few pages, Blueblood found the spell he'd seen earlier. Grinning, he motioned for Diamond and Silver to follow him as he started towards the way they'd come in.
---
It took a few tries, but he managed to perform the spell well enough that the three once again were forcibly spun about the door with the red markings, finding themselves once again in the basement of the Spoon household. Two simultanous steps were taken towards the exit by Blueblood and Silver, Diamond practically sprinting, before all stopped, plagued by the same thought as they looked to eachother, then the journal Blueblood was still levitating.
'What happened to LSS...?'
Returning to the page he'd left off with, Blueblood read on.
...Would it make sense to set the door right? I mean, now that I know I'll never get locked in again, is there really much sense in going to the trouble of...
Oh, goodness, look at me, talking about anything and everything but what I came down here for. One last time. For so long, I've been wrapped up in this private fantasy of having to fight off somepony coming for me, having to defend what remains of my 'loot pile' with a cutlass, that it's honestly difficult letting it go. I don't need the money anymore, Burner and I are... Well, suffice to say we're well-set for the future. I want a foal, a family, ponies to share happy memories with, not to sit on a treasure hoard like a dragon through my golden years. No pun intended. I think I'll just leave it here, it's been hard enough pretending family from the other side of Equestria has been sending me the money all this time, and what better way to be done with all this than to well and truly let go of that which started things?
I'm done now, leaving, shutting this journal and never coming back down here, I'll live my life in peace. Goodbye.
-Long-Spoon Silver
Use of the most exceedingly elegant lettering told Blueblood that the writer took their time in writing it out, but the guilt from earlier thankfully died away when it was clear the owner never intended to return. Mostly. It more or less confirmed his earlier suspicion, that Long-Spoon gave up piracy and, along with Burner, lived as the first of the Spoon family, the filly he'd met today being her descendant. On that note, he was pretty sure that made the treasure her inheritance, and told the fillies as much.
Hesitant about returning to the tunnel, but unable to ignore the call of long-forgotten pirate treasure, the three re-entered through the enchanted door, looked into the rooms they hadn't been in yet and, after a quick projectile-based scan for more traps, found a small mound of riches in a closet. Judging by how the lock was already opened, they guessed Long-Spoon had well and truly stopped caring after all following her final withdrawal from the long-hidden hoard.
Silver pronked a few times in place. "We're rich!"
"We're already rich," Diamond deadpanned, "everypony here probably spends more than this in a month."
The grey filly deflated slightly before shrugging. "Yea, I guess so." She scratched her head with a hoof. "Does that mean we should, like, leave it here? We'd have to tell my folks where we got it, and they'd freak if they saw any of this..."
Diamond and Silver turned to look at Blueblood, eyes silently pleading the question of whether or not they'd be in trouble soon. He smiled, making a zipping motion over his mouth with a hoof before making a motion to head back to the door. This was in no small part because he'd determined that his initial instinct when he met the butler at Rich manor had been correct; he should not be left alone with foals. We might have died down here...
---
Out in the sunlight again, abeit setting, Blueblood looked to the fillies, grinning in what he hoped was the same way Auntie Celestia did when instructing Princess Twilight. "So, did you two learn anything from all this?"
Diamond wanted to say something to the lines of smart ponies being able to get away with anything, but the part about the bees made her less sure. She shivered at the thought.
Silver, on the other hand, was pretty sure she had learned something. "Uhm..." She just wasn't sure what it was. "That, that uh... The way we live our-no, we should always, uh, no, wait, um..."
He couldn't help grinning wider at the flummoxed filly, part of him wondering if Auntie ever gave Twilight the same sort of answer he was about to. "Give it time, I'm sure it'll come to you. In the mean time, it's gotten rather late, and you two should be heading home."
As Silver glanced over her shoulder at her place of residence two meters away, Diamond spoke up. "Sure, but any chance we can get that ice cream first?"
---
As Diamond and Silver, frosty treats in hoof, watched the prince trot away into the night after leaving the two of them at the latter's residence, Silver had some time to think. I'm related to a pirate. Should I do something about this? Like, I guess it's decades too late to report a crook, but... A thought occured to her. Didn't the journal say Long-Spoon Silver kindof wanted to be caught? Who made a life as 'Silver Spoon'? ..Who was it that told her the basement was 'spooky'? It was now that she realized she'd only ever referred to her grandmother as 'Nana Spoon'. She smiled a little, part of her eager to hear about pirate stories some day. But until then, something else was bugging her.
She turned to Diamond, having remembered something. "Wasn't he supposed to propose to you?"
The pink filly, mid-icecream-cone-lick, snorted, laughing. "You're still on that?"
Silver could only incline her head curiously.
Diamond smirked. "I was kidding. Duh?"
"He WASN'T here to marry you?!"
She deadpanned. "Of course not, ya dummy, I'm like, not even half his age."
"Then why-"
She grinned mischeviously. "I just didn't want you to get any ideas about cheating on Pip~" As Silver flushed brighter than she had all day, Diamond's grin widened. "You knooooooow, I bet being a pirate-filly would score you some points with him, do you think you'll wear an eyepatch and peg leg to school tomorrow?"
"F-f-f-for the l-last time," Silver sputtered, knowing full-well it wouldn't be the last time at all, "I do NOT have a thing for P-Pip!!"
Still smiling smugly, Diamond rolled her eyes a bit. "Suuure you don't~"
Silver groaned, storming inside in a huff, making better friends with her ice cream at that moment. Giggling for a few seconds, Diamond stared after her for a short while before following her friend inside.