Ghost opened his eyes, and inhaled through his nose, the smell of freshly-baked pastries and fragrant flowers filling his nostrils, confirming his suspicions: He was once again in Ponyville. He heard a very deep laugh coming from outside.
"Ah, Jesus Christ, what's goin' on now? Are they expectin' me? How did I get here?"
***
An hour earlier, word had reached Twilight Sparkle via Princess Celestia that Discord, the Spirit of Chaos himself, was due to be coming to Ponyville, at his request, to check on Fluttershy. Twilight and the girls had been cautioned to deal with any insubordination as quickly and effectively as possible. When he arrived in a puff of smoke 55 minutes later, he had stretched himself to truly gigantic proportions, his head as big as Twilight's Golden Oak Library, and the population of Ponyville were furious with him, particularly the Mane Six, which only made Discord's smile wider. How he loved making everypony annoyed, how he laughed when they tried in vain to fight back.
"Discord, we know you're only doing this for the reaction you expect us to get. But you have to settle down," Fluttershy said, a look of disapproval on her face, "or there'll be trouble!"
Discord chuckled and closed his eyes.
"Hey! She's talking to you, buster!" yelled Rainbow Dash, hovering overhead. Discord reflexively grabbed her with one hand, covering her whole body, and snapped his fingers with his other hand. When Discord opened his hand, Rainbow Dash was still okay...but a little shocked to discover that she now had huge bouquets of flowers in place of her wings.
"Discoooord! Put her wings back to normal right now!" Twilight shouted, and stomped a hoof in protest. Discord gleefully put a hand over his mouth, barely covering his large smirk.
"Oh, Twilight, you're no fun at all. Come on, doesn't she look nicer? And I bet she smells nicer too. Honeysuckle and lavender, mmm, a delightful combination!"
Rarity sniffed, the overbearing smell of Rainbow's wings being amplified every time she flapped in place. "Why don't you do anything GENEROUS with your magic, Discord? You could stand to learn a lesson from me!" she said.
"Oh, but I DO!" Discord said, a slight frown on his face. "Why, generosity is my middle name! Dis Generosity Cord!"
"If you're so generous, change my wings back!" Rainbow growled.
"Oh, fine. Your sense of humour must have taken a sick day." Discord once again grabbed Rainbow Dash in his paw, concentrated, and then opened it up again. There was Rainbow Dash, her wings still in bloom.
"MY NOSE IS ITCHING!" Pinkie shouted. Applejack ducked behind her hat as a swarm of bees flew over to Rainbow Dash's alluring wings, predicted by the mysterious Pinkie Sense.
"You can't blame me for that, Pink Pie. Those bees were just doing what came naturally," Discord laughed.
"It's Pink-IE Pie, mister!"
"You sure look like a Pink Pie to me."
All eyes were on Pinkie, as Discord had indeed turned her body into...a pink pie.
"AAAAAAH!" Pinkie screamed. "I don't like gravy!" Discord doubled over with laughter, throwing his head back and nearly squashing the pony behind him.
"You said you'd change Rainbow's wings back, not make Pinkie into a pie!" Twilight bellowed. "Fix this now or so help us-"
Discord lazily snapped his fingers, half a smirk upon his face. A very large, cuboid-shaped object materialised into view, with a yellowish tinge to it. Once it had fully appeared, Discord laughed a very deep laugh, followed by an "Oh?" A noise coming from the object sounded like a gruff voice saying: "What's goin' on now? Are they expectin' me?"
"Oh no." Applejack gulped.
***
Ghost got to his feet and left his studio, bracing himself for what he was about to encounter. Nothing could've prepared him for what he saw.
As well as four of those FREAKIN' ponies that had caused him so much grief, there was a giant, screaming pie with a face, a puffy tail and hooves, a flying florist's shop being attacked by a hive of bees, and a giant serpent thing with a Cheshire Cat-like smile.
"Wow, this place really hit the pits while I've been away...for eleven minutes." Ghost checked his watch, which had stopped. "How long has it been for you?"
"A year or so," Twilight replied, calmly, but with a hoof over her face. "Let me introduce you to Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. He brought you here."
"You better have a good reason for that, there, ya hambone lizard," Ghost scowled.
"Your arrival was a complete accident. I, ahem, wasn't concentrating," Discord shrugged.
"Well concentrate harder and SEND ME BACK, DAMMIT!"
"Oh, but..." Discord waved his hand around in a circle. "I didn't get your name."
"I'm Ghost. But the fruity ones call me John Conquest."
"But Ghost," Discord continued, "why would you want to go back? You don't seem happy when you're there."
Wow, either that was a very good guess, or he can ready my mind or somethin', thought Ghost in astonishment. Hey, if you can read my mind, say "take ten steps away from my buttcrack" so you can prove it! After a couple of seconds, Ghost shook his head.
"No? Well I can make you happier. Would you like that?"
"Yeah, sure, if it gets me away from these ponies."
"SO BE IT!" Discord yelled, removed Ghost's hat, and tapped him on the head with a claw. Ghost felt his life force draining away, and his whole world became gray.
"Oh no," Fluttershy whimpered.
Ghost pulled a drunk, "shit-eating" grin before falling forwards onto the dirt road. Discord laughed and vanished with a click of his fingers.