The Stick of Truth: The Equestrian Chronicles
Chapter Two: Introductions (Part One)
Location: Ponyville
Lyra Heartstrings awoke early that morning to start her breathing exercises. As much as she detested them, she had no choice. It was one of the conditions Bon Bon had imposed when she strongly set her hoof down.
Lyra was, much like Twilight Sparkle, born and raised in the city of Canterlot. Instead of being a socially inept awkward bookworm, Lyra was the opposite. She was a strong outgoing social butterfly and preferred socializing rather than immersing herself into books. It was not to her surprise that she did poorly in her studies, and just barely managed to graduate on time. Much to her parent’s disappointment, she decided not to pursuit a higher education. Life was too short to be stuck inside reading dusty old books.
Her parents were wealthy ponies that owned a successful chain of stores that sold musical instruments. Of all the private tutors that her parents had hired, the only lessons she actually enjoyed were from her old music instructor. She was jolly old earth pony, with a sharp ear for detail. With her instructions Lyra had discovered her talent for music and earned her cutie mark. Her parents were proud when they found out about her cutie mark. During her last years of school, her parents tried to persuade her to pursue a career in music and perform with the Royal Canterlot Symphony.
Yet again to her parent’s disappointment she decided to instead work at their music store. Without many options left, her parent’s decided that it was time for Lyra to shape up. They sent her to Ponyville with only enough bits to cover her expenses for the few weeks. Before they left however her father told her that if she wanted to take her life seriously, he would be proud to pay for her college tuition.
Yet Lyra saw no need for such things. During her first week in Ponyville she quickly found place to live with her pen pal, Bon Bon. Using the bits that her parents gave her, she helped her set up her own candy shop. It was a small store, but Bon Bon took pride in that it was product of hard work and some help from a friend, a lazy friend with rich parents.
From then, Lyra made a living from helping out at Bon Bon’s shop or playing her lyre at the town square. It wasn’t much but she wouldn’t have traded it away. She grew to love the small town and all the strange and crazy occurrences that occurred within. And for the first time in her life found herself, she was digging deep into books.
She was never a bad student; she just never had a subject that she found interesting besides music. Lyra began reading books of old mythology and came across the subject of strange ape-like creatures called Humans. She became obsessed with subject and began reading every book she could get her hooves about the so called “humans”.
Bon Bon became so irritated about her obsession that she threatened Lyra that if she didn’t stop with her strange habit, she would kick her out of her house. With much remorse, Lyra did what she was told and stopped fretting about humans. Her depression didn’t last long when she discovered the world of martial arts.
Deciding that Lyra’s new obsession about being a master of the Still Way was an improvement from her obsession about humans, Bon Bon decided to let Lyra have her fun. In order to make sure that the unicorn didn’t develop some new strange mania, Bon Bon had ordered Lyra to take martial art lessons and to follow them completely. That included that Lyra had to take her practice and meditation seriously.
So know here she was, sitting out in her backyard trying to empty out her mind and reach enlightenment or something. The books made martial arts look so cool, she thought that she would be an ultimate warrior that could punch through solid rocks, wield awesome weapons, and beat up bad guys jumping out of nowhere. Her instructors constantly told her that she needed was discipline, discipline was boring. What would she give for a chance to go out adventure or for something interesting to happen?
*Crash!*
Up above the house she was a flash of rainbow light. Had Rainbow Dash performed another Sonic Rainboom? Then she noticed that there was something lying in the back garden next to some green shrubs. It was the strangest creature that Lyra had ever seen. It looked like a pale monkey, but the only fur was the top of his head. He was wearing a yellow shirt and a long green scarf that also acted like a cape. On his head was a folded newspaper folded into a hat with a feather sticking out. On his front legs she saw a pair of crutches.
‘Poor creature,’ thought Lyra, ‘he seems to have trouble walking.’
She began inspecting the front legs of the creature when she them. Hands, this creature had a pair of hands! Lyra squealed in excitement as realized that she must have a real human in front of her. “I knew it!” she screamed. “I knew that humans are real!”
“Huh- wah…?”
The creature stirred and opened his eyes. “W-w-what happened?” he asked as he began to observe his surroundings. There was a discomforting silence that filled the backyard as the creature stared at Lyra. “What are you?” he asked after a moment.
“My name is Lyra Heartstrings and I’m a unicorn,” she introduced herself while with a smile. “And you,” she pointed the hoof at the creature, “are you a human?”
“I am not a hu-hu-hu-human,” the creature angrily replied, “My name is Jimmy. I’m an Elf and pr-proud of it.”
Lyra lowered her head and pouted in disappointment, so the creature wasn’t a human after all but an elf. She gave a sigh and saw a lute lying near where the elf had landed, “Is this yours?” she asked as she picked up the lute with her magic.
“Yes,” answered Jimmy. “I am a level ten bard. I entertain crowds and win battles with my ma-magi-magical song of en-en, of en-enchaa, with my magical songs of eh- magical songs of en…”
Lyra glanced at the clock hanging from her kitchen. She watched as the long hand made a complete rotation indicating that a minute had passed. Wait… clocks had hands? How does that even work?
“…magical songs of en-, of en-enchaa, magical songs of enchantment.” Jimmy had finally finished his sentence.
“Well then, how about we play a tune?” Lyra asked as she grabbed her lyre hoping that the elf’s music abilities were better than his speaking abilities, “Let’s see if you truly deserve the title of bard.”
They began to play a simple melody. Once Lyra saw that the elf was indeed quite skilled with the lute she began to play a more complex tune. To her surprise, Jimmy began to play a tune that complemented her own. Soon an audience of curious ponies gathered around the backyard as they entranced by the melody of the lyre and lute. Lyra and Jimmy didn’t notice though as they were too absorbed in enchanting tune they were playing. The out of nowhere, they began a completely new melody with the two instruments working in harmony. They played throughout the day in celebration of their newfound friendship.
♕----------♕
The New Kid opened his eyes and lifted himself from the ground. A glance at his surroundings revealed that that he was amidst a creepy dark forest. There was a foreboding sense of danger within the forest. Every branch, leaf, and blade of grass was shaking savagely; as if warning him of an impending doom. Then he heard the howl of wild dogs or wolves coming from the trees in the distance. Without a doubt, the New Kid came to the conclusion that the portal had sent him to the dangerous forest that lied outside of South Park.
But even worse, he had no idea where in the dark forest he was. He glanced around but saw no dirt path. So they strange rainbow thing must have driven him away from a path. He had to find a path to find his way out of the forest. Also he had no idea where the other boys were at. His guess was that they were spread out throughout the forest. Not a stranger on finding hidden children, the New Kid took the sweet katana that rested on his back and wielded it. He knew that the forest posed many dangers and was prepared to fight.
“Help!” echoed a voice throughout the trees.
The New Kid rand towards the scream of help and arrived to clearing where he saw Butters armed with his hammer trying to fight of some kind of strange wolves. Instead of fur they seem to have a hard rough brown surface. These strange creatures were in fact literal timberwolves.
“New Kid help!” screamed Butters, “These wolves have some kind strange armor.” He swung his hammer into one of the wolves. It flinched but soon snarled as it lunged forward to attack Butters. Butters blocked the attack and managed to lunge to wolf off. The new Kid smashed his katana into one of the wolf’s head. The timberwolf was smashed into pieces of twigs, branches, and logs. But the other two wolves were biding their time waiting for the right time to strike.
Then a rattled sound filled the air as the New Kid began to feel the earth beneath him vibrate. The logs on the dirt began to glow as they levitated to form the rough of the shape of a wolf. The branches began to intertwine as the formed the main body of the wolf. Soon the timberwolf that the New Kid had smashed into pieces was growling viciously at him.
“They can resurrect themselves?” Paladin Butters said in disbelief, “Oh hamburgers, it’s like fighting those Nazi zombies again.”
The battle had begun; the new kid swung his katana as hard as he could at the first timberwolf. The timberwolf howled and snarled its razor sharp teeth. Butters went forward and held his mighty high towards the sky before slamming it down into the first timberwolf. A spark of gold light emitted from the hammer as the first timberwolf fled away from the battle. The others snarled in rage the two boys.
The second wolf lunged forwards and rammed itself against the new kid, the New Kid was swept off his feet as he lost his balanced and felt his defense go down. The third timberwolf lunged at Butters and was ready to bite. The paladin however was ready for the strike and managed to reduce some damage by blocking the attack.
The New Kid checked on Butters and saw that he was he was fine. He went forward and swung his katana thrice at the second wolf. Butters repeated the same attack he did previously at second wolf. With another flash of golden light the second timberwolf also fled from the battle. The remaining lone wolf growled in furry and the New Kid saw an aura of green light emit form wolf as it was prepared for a last stand.
It lunged forward and began to merciless assault Butters with a series of fury swipes. He bravely tried to block the attacks as fast as he could but it proved too much for the paladin as he fainted from battle. As fast as he could, the New Kid reached into his inventory and pulled out a cup of Tweek’s Coffee. He drank the speed potion and smashed the cup in to pieces.
All that the final timber wolf could see was a blur as it felt the sword slice through his armor. The wolf growled in pain but it didn’t last long as he felt another quick strike of the katana before it crumbled into pieces.
With the battle over, the New Kid rushed towards Butters to make sure he was fine. The paladin opened his eyes and said, “I’m okay, boy were those wolves tough. But we have to get out of here New Kid; the forest is a dangerous place filled my many strange creatures. Who knows what we will encounter next?” Butter glanced at the New Kid, “I’m sure that the others will be right… I think.”
QUEST ADDED
“Lost in the Woods”
Objective: Find a way out of the forest.
♕----------♕
South of the borders of Equestria lies the Badlands, an arid and hostile land that also serves as home to the changeling hive. Anyone with half a brain knows better than to take even one step inside changeling territory. They have eyes everywhere and monitor everything within their lands.
It was a changeling scout that first found the strange creature lying unconscious. At first the changeling scout thought it was foolish adventurer that got lost while exploring the Badlands. But at closer inspection the changeling realized that this thing was a pig. It was one of the strangest pigs the scout had ever seen, well to be honest the changeling scout hadn’t seen many pigs but that didn’t matter.
The creature in front of him was definitely a pig of some sort. It was wearing a red-violet robe and blue cape. On its head was a funny looking pointed turquoise hat with a star and smiley face on it. The channeling scout stared at the pig with amusement and poked it to see it was still alive.
“No kitty, that’s my pot pie,” the pig uttered.
So the pig was still alive. The changeling scout jumped with joy as he found himself a new pet. He poked the pig again.
“Nah, stop it kitty,” the pig said as it stirred around for a few seconds. “That’s my pot pie.”
The scout poked the pig another time.
“Meem, kitty is being a dildo,” the pig said this time.
The changeling snickered in amusement as he poked the pig one more time. This time he decided to poke it at his big round tummy.
“I said that was my pot pie!” screamed the pig as it opened its eyes. Before the changing could react, the Grand Wizard grabbed his staff and swung it at the changeling.
*SMACK!*
The sound of a changeling skull being cracked filled the air. The Grand Wizard was pissed and took out his anger out at the strange giant bug that was poking him. “Don’t you ever poke me you got that?!” he barked at the changeling as swung his staff at him. “Know your place, respect my fucking authoritah!”
The changeling emitted a strange hissing sound that was heard throughout the area. Soon a small group of armed changelings arrived to investigate their sound when the saw the stranger creature standing over the bloody carcass of their dead comrade. They glared at the creature that in exchange was waving the staff that it had used to beat their fellow changeling into a bloody pulp.
The four changelings hissed at their new threat. The crouched in position and brandish their sharp fangs in an effort to intimidate the enemy. The strange creature however did not even show any signs of fear, “So you want to throw down?” the strange creature said, “I’ll throw down…MAGIC MISSILE!”
The Grand Wizard flung a small white projectile at a changeling. That changeling immediately threw up all over the ground. The other changelings stared at their companion who was now nauseous and had a unhealthy tint of grossly green. The turned to face the strange creature how was now holding a lighter and an aerosol can.
Without hesitation Cartman lit the lighter and sprayed two changelings with a blast of fire. They howled in pain as they felt their chitin being charred by the flames. The remaining changeling looked in horror as one of his mates was vomiting all over the place while the other two were lit on fire, screaming in mortal agony as cracks began to form over their exoskeleton. Deciding that it was not worth fighting the dangerous creature, the last changeling spread its wings open and fled as fast as it could.
“Hey get back here!” screamed Cartman to the fleeing oversized insect. “Fine then, flee like a little bitch.”
He then took a look around his surroundings. So he was stuck in the middle of nowhere in a barren land. The horizon consisted of nothing but dirt and some shrubs scattered here and there. In the distance he saw some mountains. Yet there was not a sight of civilization to be seen. “Damn it, that portal must have taken me to Australia,” he concluded, “That would explain the giant bug things.”
He glanced at the bug-like things that were lying around: the one he had beaten for insulting the Wizard King, the one he threw his Magic Missile at, and the two that were still roasting from his flame strike. One of them was still breathing. The Grand Wizard walked towards the changeling covered in vomit.
“W-what are you?” the bug thing asked in soft harsh voice. She glanced up at Wizard King’s eye with fear.
“I am the Grand Wizard King of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep,” he said calmly, “I am the protector of the Humans of Zaron and I strive to defeat the evil Drow Elves.”
“You’re a monster,” spat the changeling.
“No, I’m a totally awesome Grand Wizard,” said Cartman as he pulled out a water bottle. “Now then, tell me what are you and where do you come from?”
“Like I’ll tell you anything, we changelings are a proud race,” said the dying changeling.
“Changelings huh, so you can change your form at will. That’s cool, very cool,” said the Grand Wizard more to himself than the dying changeling. “Where do you come from? Tell me this and I shall give you this magic cure potion that will completely heal all your status ailments.”
“That is just a bottle of water,” spat the changeling. She gave Cartman a glare of utmost hatred “Kill me, prove to me that you aren’t a monster and spare me from this painful death.” The changeling then emptied whatever contents was inside her stomach, there was blood amongst the mixture.
“This is a magic cure potion,” Cartman said irritably. He grabbed the changeling, opened her mouth and forced the contents of the bottle down her throat.
The effect was immediate. The green tint vanished from the fallen changeling. Her strength had returned and she felt like she had awoken from a long peaceful slumber. “Why?” she asked the Wizard King in confusion. “Why would you spare my life?”
“Because nobody tells me what to do,” he responded. “If I want you to live then you live. Now then tell me about the changelings. Can you transform into whatever you want?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I am the Grand Wizard King, I command you to transform right now!”
The changeling spat at Cartman’s feet, “I will never do your bidding! I serve my Queen and one of her most trusted guards. I’ll rather die than betray my queen.”
Cartman snickered at the changeling, “You? You are one of your queen’s most trusted guards? Then she must be super lame is one of her best guard can taken down by my simplest spell.”
“You will not insult Her Majesty if you know what’s good for you!” hissed the changeling.
“Can’t you see that your so called ‘queen’ doesn’t even care about you?” the Grand Wizard asked the changeling. “If she really did care about you then why did she send you out here where you almost died? Does she even know your name? Well does she?”
“Well… uh," the changeling hesitated as she tried to come up with and an answer. “That doesn’t matter, I serve my Queen, it is my duty, and it is what I was born for.”
“You were born to serve your queen? Your sole purpose in living is to serve your queen until you die?”
“Well—in a way it is,” said the changeling.
“Ha!” shouted Cartman. “Don’t you get it? You’re being used; you’re just another tool for the queen to use. She doesn’t care whether you live and die. Because in the end of the day, when you go back home and cry yourself to sleep, asking yourself if there an meaning to your life other than being the queen’s personal bitch, well then tell me. Tell me if you’re happy. Tell me that you find pleasure bending over for your queen so she can just fuck you and not even have the courtesy of giving you a simple thank you. Is that what you want, well is it?”
The changeling jaw gaped down in shock as she stared at the Grand Wizard, “W-what do you want from me?!”
“Take me to your queen,” replied Cartman. “That’s all I ask, is for you to take me to see your queen.”
“You must have a death wish if you want to step into the hive,” muttered the changeling, “But if you really want to die so bad then I won’t stop you. Follow me.”
The Grand Wizard ventured onwards through the badlands with his strange tour guide. Soon he would arrive to the hive of changelings and set his plans in motion. He’ll make sure that the Drow Elves will pay for breaking their truce that the humans had worked so hard to make.
♕----------♕
Deep within the the Everfree, the New Kid and Butters were still wandering around trying to find a path. The New Kid was starting to suspect that they were walking in circles; so far everything looked the same. There hadn’t crossed any familiar landmarks or any paths so far.
One thing was certain, they knew they weren’t alone. Every so often they could hear the barks and growls of the timberwolves out in distance. It wasn’t to his surprise when he heard growling coming from a few trees away. It was to his surprise however that he also heard a high pitch scream for help coming from that direction as well.
The rushed towards the sound of the growls and screams, there in an open patch was pack of four timberwolves. One of wolves however was different, on its head was wearing a makeshift wreath of twigs and leaves. The pack was gathered around a tall tree. They were brandishing their sharp teeth and snarling at something that was taking refuge in the tree branches.
“Help!” squealed a desperate voice.
The New Kid glanced up and saw one of the strangest creatures he had ever seen. It looked like a pony but last time he checked, ponies couldn’t talk. She had yellow coat and a red mane and tail. On her head was a large oversized pink bow and she was clutching tight onto a branch holding dear to her life.
“Douchebag we have to save her!” shouted Butters, “It’s our duty as a paladin to help those in need. Well it’s my duty as a paladin, but I can’t take on those wolves on my own.”
The new kid simply nodded as he picked up a stone and lunged at a timberwolf. It hit one of the wolves straight in the head. The timberwolf turned around to and saw the New Kid and Butters with their weapons drawn. The wolf growled at the boys, the growl attracted the attention of the other timberwolves.
The battle had begun. The timberwolves formed two columns, two in front and two in the back. The timberwolf wearing the wreath was the back column.
The new kid started by swing his katana three times at the first timberwolf in the front column. Butters raised his hammer in the air and swung it at the first timber wolf in the front column. This time there was no light emitting from his hammer, Butters had managed to mess up his timing. Nerveless the timberwolf crumpled into pieces of wood.
The wolf with the wreath gave a howl and a green aura surrounded the timberwolves for a brief moment. Then the wolf with the wreath howled a song. Immediately the remains of the wolf that the boys had defeated first vibrated as it flew up to reform the timberwolf.
So the timberwolf with the wreath was either a healer or a priest. The New Kid knew that healer had to be taken out as quick as possible. But it wasn’t his turn yet.
The second wolf in the front rammed itself into Butters and gave him a vicious bite. Butters had failed to block the bite and started bleeding. The third timberwolf in the back column took a deep huff and emitted a gust of putrid breath. This time both boys had managed to block out the worst of it, though a foul lingered in the air afterward.
It was now their turn. The New Kid knew that one of their priories was in taking out that dammed healer. But it was protected by the first timberwolf in front. That didn’t matter to the New Kid. He had a way to deal with bitches like that; all he had to do was use one of his abilities.
♕----------♕
Meanwhile high in the tree, Apple Bloom was watching the fight in awe. After their accident trying to get their zip lining cutie marks, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were lunged far into the air and landed somewhere in the Everfree Forest. Being the brave filly she is, she decided to go after them and find them before they go into trouble. However what she didn’t remember at the time was that the Everfree was also a very dangerous place as evident by the timberwolves that tried to turn her into their feast. Now she was stuck up here watching a battle taking place between the timberwolves and two strange creatures she had never seen.
One of them was wearing a hooded cape and gloves. She couldn’t make out many details other that it was definitely male. There was a puff of smoke and then the creature had vanished. Apple Bloom looked all around to see where the creature had teleported. Her search was cut short when she heard a whining noise come from one of the timberwolves, the wolf with the funny looking hat was bleeding. She turned and saw that the hooded creature was back in position next to the other strange creature.
She could observe the second creature in better details. Itstood on two legs and was pale, it had a blond mane on his head. It was wearing turquoise robes, yellow gloves and a gold headband with a red gem stone. It drank some kind of potion and instantly his bleeding stopped. Then the creature stepped forward and lifted his hammer high towards of sky. A storm cloud quickly formed above him as flashes of lightning struck the hammer and were then deflected to the two timberwolves in the in the front column.
“What are those creatures?” she asked the air.
♕----------♕
The New Kid watched the timberwolves as he prepared for their attacks. Smoke was emitting from the two timberwolves in front. So they were weak against lightning.
The healer howled another song as it glowed blue. It had healed itself and recovered some health at the same time. Then it took a deep breath and spitted out a sharp piece of wood at high speeds. The New Kid couldn't react fast enough and felt the piece of wood pierce him as he started bleeding. The third timber wolf in the back column did the same as the healer and launched a second piece of wood, but this time towards Butters. The Paladin had managed to block the attack.
The first timberwolf in the front column ran forward and tried to dig its teeth into the New Kid but managed to get a perfect block and lashed out a counter strike at the wolf. The second timber wolf inhaled deeply and let out another blast of rancid air. Again this time boys had managed to block it.
It was now their turn again. The New Kid took out a bag of Cheesy Poofs and tossed it to Butters. The Paladin took the potion and recovered some health. The New Kid took a deep breath and decided to use on of abilities as a thief.
With a puff of smoke to cover his tracks, he quickly rushed through the air and reappeared behind the timberwolves. Then he began to quietly creep behind the blasted healer and mugged it. He looted the wolf’s heart and quickly went back to join Butters. He felt light as blood poured down from his wounds but at least the bitch healer was dead.
Butters saw that New Kid was at a critical condition. “Hang on buddy, we can do this,” he said in comfort as he used his healing abilities. He didn’t notice the blue aura emitting from his hands as he patted the thief. The paladin was instead focused at the front column of wolves. He walked forward then raised him mighty hammer towards the skies and summoned another storm to smite the timberwolves. They were instantly turned into a pile of woodchips.
The third and last remaining timber wolf growled in anger and he ran straight towards the New Kid and unleashed a barrage of fury strikes. The New Kid however was prepared for them, having seen Butters face the attack. The New Kid managed to block every single of the wolf’s strikes and landed a counter attack with his katana.
It was time to end the battle; the New Kid swung his sword will the strength he could muster for a power attack. The timberwolf howled as his he was wreaked to his last health. Butters delivered the finishing blow with his mighty hammer which cause the last timberwolf to flee. They had won.
“We usually win,” he said as they celebrated their victory.
Apple Bloom watched the two creatures in amazement. They had managed to fend off the timberwolves, she saw it with her very own eyes. When the wolves were out of sight, the creature in the turquoise robes approached the tree where she took refuge.
She hopped down from the tree and met her rescuers. “What are you?” she asked them as she got a closer look at them. She had never seen anything like them before.
This question confirmed it to the New Kid. They weren’t in South Park anymore. He was sure they weren’t even on the same planet anymore. So the portal had dragged them to another world or dimension. It was an uneasy thought and it showed in his face. Luckily neither Butters nor had the pony noticed his expression.
“I am Butters the Merciful,” the first creature introduced himself. “I’m a paladin. And this guy over here,” -He pointed at the New Kid- “is King Douchebag the Thief”
“Thief?” asked Apple Bloom as she glared at the New Kid, “You mean you go into folks houses, break all their things and loot their stuff?”
“I’m pretty sure that one time was an accident,” Butter blurted out much to the New Kid’s irritation. Sensing that he was close to having a sharp Japanese sword shoved up his ass, Butters decided to correct himself. “What I meant was that King Douchebag uses his thief skills for good. It’s kind of similar to my duty as a paladin to help those that are in need. We seek justice for all creatures.”
“So you go helping everypony that needs it?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Yeah pretty much. So you're supposed to be a pony,” said Butters. “I must admit that you girls do come up with some neat costumes.”
Apple Bloom stared at Butters with confusion, she turned her head to the New Kid who simply shrugged and gave her a look that said “Don’t ask, just go with it”.
“Okay then…” Apple Bloom said in an effort to move the subject forward, “So you go helping ponies in need of help right?”
“We always strive to take on quests for the sake of good,” said Butters, “Do you have a quest for us?”
“Well… yes,” she said with a blush which the New Kid had to admit was cute, not that he would tell anyone. “Well earlier this morning we had had accident with trying to zip line, but long story short it didn’t go as planned. So to make long story short my friends were flung into this forest and I that’s why I’m here. But to make long story short I was almost attacked by the timberwolves. But then to make long story short you defeated the wolves and now I need you help to find my fellow crusaders.”
“Don’t worry,” Butter assured the foal, “We will help you find your friends.”
“Thanks,” said the filly as they walked further into the forest in search of her fellow crusaders. “My name is Apple Bloom by the way.”
QUEST ADDED
“Find the Crusaders”
Objective: Find Sweetie Belle
Objective: Find Scootaloo