//------------------------------// // Episode 5: Battle Bunnies on the NES // Story: The Adorable/Awesome Video Game Colt // by Matthais Unidostres //------------------------------// Button Mash sat down in front of his TV and picked up an NES controller. He's gonna play some games from past And also recent games while they last Sweetie Belle ran next to Button Mash and continued singing. He'd rather have. . . An evil juice box. . . Call him a looser, than play a bad game! Button pounded on the buttons on the controller with his right hoof. He'd rather drink. . . A freezing milkshake. . . And get brain freeze for an entire day! Button's face is scrunched up in frustration as his eyes focused on the screen. He's just the cutest gamer you'll ever behold He's the adorable Nintendo Colt Button wiped beads of sweat off of his forehead as his propeller hat spun rapidly. He's the adorable Joy Boy/Sega Colt He's The Adorable Video Game Colt! Button Mash pouted as he threw down his controller, looking sadly at the screen. The Adorable Video Game Colt Episode 5: Battle Bunnies on the NES Button reached over and picked up an NES cartridge and smiled at it. "Battle Bunnies on NES," he said happily, "This is a great game. A really good game. One of the most played and well known NES games ever. Now, to many of you, it probably sounds like a cheap rip off of Teenage Magic Ninja Tortoises. But no, this game is unique, and-." Button stopped in mid sentence, and turned to his left to see that Sweetie Belle was still sitting next to him, smiling a cute smile. Button blinked, "Uh, Sweetie Belle?" "Yes?" "Shouldn't you be behind the camera?" Sweetie Belle waved a hoof and said, "Oh, the camera's not going anywhere, it's fine." "But I thought you didn't wanna be on camera. It made you nervous, remember?" Button said, looking very confused. Sweetie laughed and said, "Oh, that was Old Sweetie Belle. I don't get nervous anymore. Don't you remember that play I starred in. . .and directed. . .and wrote." Button scratched his head, "Uh, all I remember are the dresses." Sweetie Belle's cheeks started to angrily burn red. Button backed off slightly and smiled nervously, "Uh, let's talk about it later. Just get back behind the camera already." "Why can't I do the review with you?" Sweetie Belle complained. "Because that's not how it works!" Button exclaimed, tossing his forelegs high, "You sing the song, and I do the review! I'm the Video Game Colt!" "Adorable Video Game Colt," Sweetie Belle said with a grin. Button face hoofed, "I can't believe I was okay with that name. How about the Amazing Video Game Colt, or the Awesome Video Game Colt!" "I wasn't gonna help you if you didn't use the name I came up for you. And besides, you are adorable," Sweetie Belle said, winking at the chocolate brown colt next to her. Button blushed hard and he fumbled over his words, "I-uh-well- you still can't do the review! You're not a big enough gamer yet!" "Sure I am!" Sweetie said indignantly, then she tossed her mane with her hoof and struck a pose. "I'm The Adorable Video Game Filly!" "You only have 66% completion in that, Sweetie Belle," Button commented wryly. "I know the Ponami Code!" Sweetie Belle said. "That I taught you!" Button corrected. "I've beaten lots of times in a whole bunch of games!" "Nopony's a hundred percent, Sweetie!" "I'm better at Minecraft than you!" That touched a nerve. "GET BACK BEHIND THE DENKALITHING CAMERA!!!" Button shouted furiously. Sweetie Belle's eyes widened in shock, and she looked down dejectedly, sniffing quietly. Button's heart grew sick as he looked at the sad unicorn filly next to him, immediately regretting his outburst. He scooted closer Sweetie Belle and gently wrapped a foreleg around her shoulder, hugging her gently. "Sweetie, I. . .I'm sorry, okay. I guess I kinda took my gamer's pride too seriously. Please don't cry. . .I hate it when you're sad." Sweetie Belle sniffed once more and wiped her eyes, and then looked over at Button. "You can do the review with me," Button said with a smile, "And if it means anything, you-," Button sighed and said, "You are better at Minecraft than I am." Sweetie Belle gasped and let out a squealing laugh as he gave Button the tightest hug of his life. She then grabbed the game cartridge, put it in the NES, and plugged in a second controller. "Sweetie - Belle?" Button gasped out, still trying to breath normally after the bone crushing hug, "What - are - you doing? There's no player two." "Sure there is!" Sweetie Belle said as she turned everything on and ran back to Button Mash's side. "Uh, no. Look at the screen," Button said as he pointed to the screen at the text under the Battle Bunnies logo, "See. It just says 'Press Start to Play.' That's it." Button pressed the start button and the game began. A pair of bunnies, one white and one brown, appeared on the screen. "Huh!?" Button said in confusion, "How's there a second player?" "I pressed start!" Sweetie Belle said cheekily. "Ohhhhhh! It's like an arcade game!" Button said, "That's. .. weird. Wouldn't it be easier just to have a player selection?" Button shrugged, "Whatever. So, the opening sequence shows three bunnies: Angel, Cherub, and Princess Buttercream Sundae. You can only play as Angel and Cherub because Princess Buttercream was kidnapped by Timberwolves, and you gotta save her. And I kinda think the names are dumb. Buttercream's okay for a Princess, but Angel and Cherub? You're beating stuff up like crazy in this game, why do they have sissy names like that? They should be called, I don't know, 'Beater' and 'Biter', maybe?" Button focused on the game, "Okay, so the first level is in the Everfree Forest, and you're fighting what looks like evil plants. You can kick, punch, headbutt, and even use sticks as weapons." Sweetie Belle giggled as her brown bunny, Cherub, kicked at a tall tree-like creature. "Look at how huge his feet grow when he kicks!" Sweetie Belle paused the game to show Button. The game music was replaced by a weird catch beat. "Ha-ha! That's funny!" she said as she and Button moved their bodies to the odd sounding beat. They soon went back to playing, and an evil looking bird swooped down. "I got him!" Button said as he had Angel swing the stick in his paws. It missed and clobbered Cherub on the head, taking away some of his health. "Hey!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "Ah! Sorry, I didn't know I could hit you!" Button said despairingly. The characters walked alongside a cliff with a waterfall, a bunch of Timberwolves attacked. "Quick! Get them!" Button shouted, "Knock them off the- AH! YOU KILLED ME!" he exclaimed as Angel was knocked off the cliff by Cherub. "Sorry! I didn't mean to!" Sweetie Belle said nervously. Button grumbled as Angel came back, and the characters ran over to a ledge with a 1-up. "Nice! I'll get that- aw man!" Button complained as his jump didn't reach it. Sweetie Belle, however, was able to grab it. "First you kill me, then you steal my 1-up?" Button said in disbelief. "Hey, I let you try and get it, but you missed it. And I couldn't let it go to waste," Sweetie Belle said defensively with a cute smile. Button sighed, "Come on let's just get to the boss." The gamers eventually made their way through the level, and a giant Timberwolf formed in front of them. The boss jumped of screen, and crosshairs moved across the screen. "Okay, so we're seeing things from the Boss' perspective. We gotta throw rocks at the screen to hit the Timberwolf," Button said. "Got it," Sweetie said as she dodged the sharp sticks being thrown at the bunny characters. She and Button had their characters pick up rocks and throw them at the screen, hitting Timberwolf enough times to defeat it. "Okay, level 2! Down the dark cave tunnel pit from 300!" Button said cheekily as the two bunnies hung onto vines and lowered down a deep pit. Suddenly, huge evil looking bugs flew down into the pit. "Get that bug!" Button called out. "Okay, I'll swing over and-" Sweetie Belle said, and Cherub swung left and right, hitting both the giant bug and Angel, knocking him off the vine and into the pit, making him loose his last life. "HEY!" Button shouted. "Sorry!" Sweetie said quickly. "Grrr! This is stupid! Why can we hit each other! It's not fair!" Button complained. Then the Game Over screen came on, much to Sweetie Belle's surprise. "What happened?" "You killed me, remember," Button grumbled. "But I didn't die!" Sweetie Belle said. "So if one player dies, it's Game Over!? That's not fair!" Button complained. The level restarted and the two bunnies repelled down the pit again. "Okay, you stay on the right, I'll stay on the left," Button said. "Okay," Sweetie Belle said. Suddenly, a Quarry Eel burst out of the wall a struck at Sweetie Belle's bunny. Sweetie pressed the buttons fora swinging attack, and Cherub swung with great force to the left, smashing into both the eel and Angel bunny. "I said to stay on the left!" Button shouted angrily. "I can't help it! That's how the attack works! It sends me across the screen," Sweetie said defensively. Button rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever. You just need more practice- AH!" Button had used the swinging attack to hit another Quarry Eel, but ending colliding with Cherub and knocking him down. "I didn't mean to do that, I swear!" "See?!" Sweetie Belle said. "Why would they put an attack like that in a game where you can hurt each other?!" Button exclaimed. Angel came back and the two bunnies were still riding down on their vines. "Okay, Sweetie. Now just stay up a bit, and I'll stay lower and swing over at that-" Button swung Angel across the screen, but he swung to high and knocked Cherub off his vine. 'AW DENKALITH!" Button exclaimed. Sweetie Belle pouted and threw down her controller. "How are we supposed to work as a team if you keep killing me!?" she exclaimed. "Alright, alright," Button said as he paused the game. He handed Sweetie Belle a juice-box and picked up one of his own. He and Sweetie took a drink, and Button furrowed his brow and said, "This game just isn't fair. You shouldn't be allowed to hit each other like this! I mean, think just for a minute. Imagine you were playing New Super Mareio Sisters Wii in multiplayer mode, where you have up to 4 players on screen at a time. In that game, you can jump on each other's heads and pick up and throw each other, but you can't exactly hurt each other unless you try hard. Even when you get a Fire Flower, your fire balls only hit enemies, they don't hit the other players. Now, imagine if whenever you jump on someone's head, they die. Imagine if one of your fire balls hits another player, they die. Then add in that if one player looses all his lives, it's game over even if you have 99 lives! You wouldn't be able to do anything! There'd be no point in getting a Fire Flower, and you'd have to always keep your distance from everyone because unless you're all some kind of masters, you're gonna jump on each other's heads from time to time!" Button drank the rest of his juice and took a breath, "What were they thinking when they programmed the two player mode for this game?" Button turned to Sweetie Belle, "Do you know, Sweetie?" Sweetie Belle sipped from her juice-box and shook her head. "Okay then, here we go," Button said with a sigh as he and Sweetie picked up their controllers. "Well, we made it to level 3," Button said as the two bunnies landed on the bottom of the pit. A giant star spider landed and started attacking them. "Stomp him! Stomp him!" Button said. "Take this, you creepy crawly creep!" Sweetie Belle said as she made her bunny jump and stomp down on hard on both Angel and the spider. "Oh come on," Button moaned. "Oops," Sweetie said with a blush. "You get him." "You get him." "Alright." Button smiled as Sweetie Belle moved Cherub out of the way. Button had Angel stomp down hard on the huge bug. "Aha! That's fun! Stomping and kicking the hay out of things! This is some awesome classic beat'em up fun!" Button said as he pushed the Star Spider to the edge and let out a huge final kick, sending the enemy flying. However, this inexplicably caused Angel to fall off the edge as well. "WHAT!?" Button exclaimed. Sweetie Belle covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. The pair fought a few more giant Star Spiders, and then moved to the next part of the level, which was a raging underwater river. Angel and Cherub rode on logs down the river. "Okay, so in this part, we catch air on log ramps and jump over big rocks," Button explained, "They blink a few times on the right of the screen as warnings so we can line up properly. So stay sharp. Oh, here comes a ramp!" Button and Sweetie Belle both hit the ramp and flew up over a whirlpool. but only Sweetie's bunny cleared it. "HEY!" Button exclaimed. "How'd you miss that?" Sweetie Belle said in confusion. "I don't know!" Angel came back just as they approached another ramp. Sweetie Belle wasn't expecting it, so Cherub ended up missing it and falling into the whirlpool. "Aw, you missed it!" Button complained, and he growled at the screen, "Game over? Game over for you, not me!" The game then went back to the beginning of the level. "Oh no! We gotta start all over and- MY LIVES DIDN'T RESET! I only got one life left!" "If you die, we'll have to start all over again," Sweetie Belle groaned as she and Button fought through the level's Star Spiders. Button, looking very annoyed and not very hopeful, attacked a Star Spider, but the attack seemed to go through it connected with Cherub. "Oh, come on!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, tossing her hooves up. "I swear I didn't mean to do that!" Button said pleadingly. Sweetie Belle sighed, and the pair made it to the river part. "Okay, okay, okay. Remain calm," Button said seriously, "We just can't hit any of the rocks." "Okay," Sweetie replied as the bunnies zoomed downstream. "Here they come, jump! JUMP! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Button shouted as Angel hit a second rock after jumping over one, loosing his only remaining life and earning a Game Over. Sweetie Belle face hoofed, "Now we gotta start all over." "How many lives you got?" Button asked humorlessly. "Two," she replied. "Well, I guess we're not gonna get very far!" Sweetie Belle thought for a moment, and she said, "Maybe if I just die on purpose twice, and then I'll restart with all my lives." Button's controller hit the floor with a loud plastic clack. Sweetie Belle turned to see Button filled with shock and anger, his pupils dilated to the extreme. "NO! NO! You shouldn't have to that! You shouldn't have to even think of that! Nopony should! A true gamer never commits suicide unless the game is BROKEN!" Button shouted. "Yeah, this game is broken! To the Nether with this game!" Sweetie Belle said. "To the Nether with this broken two player mode!" Button said. "to the Nether with this, uh," Sweetie Belle struggled to find the words, "Uh, Ender Pearl choking, Zombie licking, Witch kissing, horrible loosing all your stuff in lava, broken game mode!" "Yeah, now you're talking!" Button said as he lightly tapped Sweetie Belle in the shoulder. "So that's Battle Bunnies. It's a great game that's good and challenging and fun while you're playing alone, but in two player mode, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" "After this, let's play a good game together, like Mareo Kart! Or Minecraft!" Sweetie Belle said. "Good idea, Sweetie Belle!" Button said with a smile. Sweetie Smile brightly and sang to him. He's the awesomest gamer you'll ever behold! "Aha! That's more like it!" Button said as his propeller picked up speed. He's the Awesome Video Game Colt. . . Credits AVGN- Battletoads New Super Mario Bros. Wii Image: Sweetie and Button by MacTavish1996