It was a busy late afternoon in Sweet Apple acres. Big Mac was in Appeloosa assisting Braeburn with a barn raising, Granny Smith was detained helping Applebloom with a school project and Applejack was trimming the apple trees by herself. She, as her stubborn self, decided not to ask her friends for help in fear of pressuring them to do something they really don't want to. And she figured they'd all be busy anyways; Flutteshy having a spa day with Rarity, Rainbow learning for a Wonderbolt's exam, although her learning was probably just taking a nap somewhere on a bushy cloud, Pinkie Pie throwing a birthday party for the baby Cakes and Twilight having to learn.....as usual.
"Looks like I ain't got much time anymore." She said as she looked at the sun, slowly nearing the horizon. "I reckon' I've got about 3 hours to take care of this part of the orchard, before the sun sets." She clipped off a branch on the apple tree, which fell to the ground with a soft thump, near the other's. She sighed as she climed down the ladder and moved over to the next tree.
She looked to the already trimmed trees and the cut off sticks under them as she made a mental note to herself; "I'll ask Spike over tomarrow, see if he can burn those." She sighed again, sadly. "Oh Spike, if I only had the guts to actually ask you out." The southern pony thought out loud as she started to climb the ladder again. Applejack didn't really want to admit it, but she had felt differently about him after the timberwolf accident and a couple of months ago, she came to the conclusion, that she's got a crush on that adorable baby dragon.
She thought to herself while climbing up the steps of the ladder. 'Why the hay is life so confusing?' I like Spike, he likes Rarity, Rarity doesn't give a horse's flying feather about 'Spikey-Wikey'', she thought, mimicking the unicorns accent with a slightly unpleasant grimace, 'and Rarity has a thing for that fella' Fancypants, who's wife only fancies him for his money.'
She let out an angry 'hmpf' at the love triangle she was caught up in. Or more of a love pentagon than a triangle. Applejack walked in silence, listening to her own hoofsteps clacking agains the hard steel of the ladder. But something seemed off. She perked up her ears an looked around, trying to figure out what seemed off, but everything around her was perfectly normal. She looked at her hooves and noticed she was still stepping up the ladder, which shouldn't have been this long. She looked at it and saw the steps of the ladder move downwards, making her stomp on one spot.
"What in tarnation?" She asked as the ladder disappeared from under her and she fell to the ground with a hearable thump. "Ow."
Applejack saw a flash of light from the corner of her right eye and turned her head towards it, only to see Discord, wearing her hat and eating an apple backwards.
"Why, hello there, Applejack!" He greeted, making the apple float away. "Fancy meeting you here!"
"I live here." She deadpanned. "And what are ya doin' here?" She asked rather angrily, getting to her hooves and dusting herself off.
"What? Can't I just visit a pal?"
"Well, the last time ya 'visited me', ya'll turned all my trees into rainbow coloured clouds and my apples into caramel apples!" She shouted, pointing a hoof at her orchard.
"Well, they do taste better that way." He said, crossing his paw and claw over his chest. Applejack let out a small growl at his comment. She was ready to tackle The Lord of Chaos in front of her, take her hat and just trot away, ignoring Discord, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not after they all promised Fluttershy they'd at least try to get along with him. She sighed, remembering Fluttershy's words: 'give him a chance. Showing a little kindness does wonders.'. The southern pony took a deep breath and tried to stay as calm as possible, which was proving to be a challenge.
"Discord, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm sort of, in a hurry, so whatcha' here for?"
"In a hurry? With what?" He asked, clearly confused. The orchard looked fine to him.
"I have to trim all the trees by the end of the month and I....."
"Oh, Applejack. I sometimes think you work too much. Take a day off! Enjoy the weather, go sunbathing!" He said, laying down on a beach towel and putting on red and white dotted sun glasses. He also snapped his talons and made a red and white dotted swimsuit appear on Applejack and a yellow ducky floaty around her waist.
"It's February, Discord." She deadpanned. "Now, if there ain't anythin' particular ya need help with, I'd like to get back to my work." She said, picking up her hat and putting it on her head only for it to turn into a bucket of water, soaking her mane and coat. She shot him an angry glare and shook most of the water off, similar to what a dog would do. She took off her swimsuit and trotted towards the trees, ready to pick up the ladder and resume to her work, but Discord made another rubber duck floaty appear around Applejack, which made her float in the air and bring her back to him.
Discord sat up, noticing a white gazebo on a small hill, surrounded by a flower patch, (which didn't have any flowers yet, due to the fact, that the snow had just melted) and a single cherry tree, which wasn't blooming yet. The gazebo itself wasn't in the best condition either. It had cracked floorboards, the white paint was almost gone and it had moss growing in various places.
"Say, Applejack, what's with the gazebo?" he asked the orange pony still floating next to him.
"Oh, that ol' thing? It's been there for Celestia knows how long. It used to be pure white and beautiful, but after the huge storm a few years back, it broke and nopony bothered to fix it." She started slowly walking, or rather floating, making swimming motions in the air, towards the gazebo and looking at it, memories flowing back into her mind. "Apple Bloom and I used to have picnics there. Every time Granny baked a pie, me and my lil' sis went to eat it in the gazebo. It was so beautiful there, especially when the cherry tree was bloomin'." She chucled to herself at the nice memories. "And Big Mac had a few dates with Cheerilee there. Boy, were they romantic. Especially when the sun was settin' and they had candles lit all around 'em."
Discord had been following the farm pony this whole time and suprisingly, actually paying attention to her story. An idea hit him when she metioned the dates. Literally. The word 'IDEA' materialized out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head, making him cough out a lit light bulb.
"Say, Applebutt," he smirked, when he heard Applejack let out another small growl. "What do you say, we make a deal?"
Applejack eyed him suspiciously and gingerly asked, "What kind of a...deal?"
"Lets just say I'm on a.......'mission'," he said, due to a lack of a better word, "And I could really use sompony's help, somepony undercover, somepony, who knows others, who knows all about the gossip and enjoys hard work. And is a good cook."
"I don't know nothin' 'bout pony gossip." She claimed, but to be honest, everypony could tell when the Element of Honesty herself, was lying.
"Oh, don't lie to me, Applejack, I'm the one that made you a liar." Discord said, as a lyre materialized above Applejack, hitting her on the head, knocking her down to the ground and deflating the floaty around her. She let out a groan of pain and rubbed her head. She picked up the lyre and on closer inspection, she saw the signatures L H engraved on the side of the instrument.
"Uhh, Discord? This is Lyra's lyre." She said as a conserned look took over her face. "Ya'know, Lyra Heartstrings? You should really send it back, she could need it, ya'know."
"Don't worry, my friend, I'm sure she doesn't need it anytime soon....." Discord said. Boy, was he wrong...
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Lyra Hearstrings was sitting on a chair on a small stage in Canterlot Castle. She stared at her lap, but the only thing she saw were her hooves and her magneta and gold dress. She looked to her right, where she saw a light blue earth pony tuba player, by the name of Beauty Brass, and the piano player, Frederic Horseshoepin exchange confused glances. On her right, she saw a nervous Octavia, who was desperately grasping her chello to not lose her balance and faint. Behind Octavia stood Concerto, a light brown stallion with dreamy blue eyes who also looked incredibly nervous and confused. Lyra looked in front of her, where stood the large audience, including Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, all looking confused and worried as to what had caused the interruption on the contsert.
"Oh, dear." Celestia mumbled.
"Lyra, this is now time for magic tricks!" Octavia hissed, swiping sweat off her forhead with a white napkin. "Where's your lyre?"
Lyra could have sworn her heart stopped, she wasn't processing what was happening. One minute she was playing with the band, living her dreams and now, her lyre has disappeared. She saw hundreds of confused faces focus on her amongst the crowd, and the only thing she could do, was mumble a weak responce to Tavia,
"I...I...how...I'm...whe.........what?"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm gonna go by her house later, drop off her lyre then." Applejack said as she set the instrument on a small wooden table just outside the barn.
"Okay, fine, be a good citizen, but what about the deal? Are you interested?" Discord asked, a bit annoyed.
"I already told ya, I know nothin' 'bout gossip 'round here!" Applejack exclaimed.
"Applejack, please, don't lie to me. I wasn't born yesterday. Unless yesterday was a thousand years, six centuries, three decades, two days, 23 hours, 36 minutes and 8 seconds ago." He said, matter-of-factly.
"..."
Discord continued on, ignoring the southern pony's confused expression and calmly walked towards the gazebo. "I know you're the Element of Honesty. That means you can't lie, which is good, probably the reason why many ponies come to ask for your opinion and know they can always count on you. You also won't break a promise, which is why I also know many ponies come to you with their deepest secrets, knowing they can trust you 99,8346279%."
"Alright, fine! I know every pony's deepest secrets! I'm like a therapist of some sort to 'em or a box where they can just store and lock up all their little secrets. But what bout the deal, what's in it for me?"
"I'll fix up your gazebo. Aaaaaannnd, you'll get a little surpriiiiise" Discord said in a sing-song voice.
"Hmm..." She thought for a moment, her hoof rubbing her chin. "So let me get this straight: Ya need me, AKA somepony who knows all 'bout the fuss 'round here and in return, ya'll fix our gazebo and I'll get a surprise?" Applejack asked with a mistrusting voice.
"Ee-Yup!" Discord said, in a lower voice than usual, chewing on a straw while leaning on a pig pile of hay.
"Deal!" Applejack said, as she spit in her hoof and reached out to shake Discord's paw.
"Ewww," Discord said, acting like a spoiled schoolfilly. He took a rag out of nowhere and cleaned the pony's hoof until it was sparkling even brighter than Rarity's after she gets them shined. "Deal."
Discord nodded as his horns turned into a yellow hard helmet and his wings into a reflective vest. Around him and Applejack, several things came to life. A high-pressure washer washed off all the old paint, while a pair of scissors trimmed the overgrown cherry tree. As soon as all the paint was off, a few planks, a hammer, and nails skipped towards the gazebo, ready to replace all the broken floorboards and loose nails. There were various tools working on the roof, or at least, what was left of the roof. A paint brush and a bucket hopped towards the gazebo, ready to paint it white. Applejack just stared wide-eyed as the tools were working and Discord, still wearing his costume, was sitting on a foldable chair, eating a pink frosted sprinkle donut. Discord glanced over to Applejack, who's mouth was agape. He quickly summoned another donut, carefully placed it in her mouth and closed it for her. She chewed a little, but not once did she look away from the gazebo.
In about five minutes, the tools all lined up in front of the gazebo, happy with their work. Indeed, the building did look like new. Discord snapped his talons, making all the tools lifeless again, before using his magic to plant some flowers and make both them and the cherry tree bloom, beautifully.
"So, what do you think?" Discord asked, thrilled to hear her answer.
"Discord, I......" Applejack was at a complete loss of words. The gazebo, it looked beautiful. She wasn't sure, which amazed her more, the glorious gazebo from her childhood, surrounded with blooming flowers or the fact, that Discord actually did something nice for a change.
Applejack trotted over to the gazebo, running her hoof over a freshly painted, but dry post that supported it. "Wow, Discord, I-I never thought I'd see it like this again. It's beautiful.... t-thank ya."
"You're welcome," he said, with a slight bow of his head. "Now, for my part of the deal."
"Sure, tell me, what ya need to know." She said, sitting down on the gazebo's steps, still taking in the beauty of the thing.
He eagerly sat next to her and took out a cute butter-yellow notebook, which had Fluttershy's cutiemark on it. The three butterflies were on the corners of the pages too. He clicked his pen, which also had a picture of his favourite pegasus on it and looked at Applejack.
"Ya'know, you have a problem, right?" She asked, examining the Fluttershy themed items.
"Moi?" He asked, placing a paw on his chest in an innocent manner.
"Yes, you! If I didn't know better, I'd say you also sleep with a Fluttershy plushie."
"What!? Pffft, that's crazy-talk." He said, with a dissmissive wave of his paw, although he looked around nervously before throwing a Fluttershy plushie in the bushes behind him. Discord felt his cheeks burn a little, but thought nothing of it.
"Alright. I still think you're overly obsessed with her, but, I should know better than to question The Lord of Chaos 'imself."
"There's nothing wrong with liking somepony." He stubbornly claimed, folding his arms across his chest and feeling the burning in his cheeks return.
"So, ya like her, eh?" Applejack asked, looking up at his blushing face.
"Well, she is my Buffalo Fire Fighter." he said, matter-of-factly.
"......A buffalo-what-now? Ya mean a BFF?" She asked, confused though she already knew there was no use in questioning the Master of Chaos.
She quicly carried on, not wanting to dwell on that for long "Well, judgin' by your face and the way you act 'round her, I'd say it's more than just, 'she's my BFF'." She smirked as she noticed Discord's face get even redder. "I'd even go as far as to say the Lord of Chaos has a lil' crush."
He felt his heartbeat quicken. She spoke the truth, he did indeed have a crush on her, but he couldn't let anypony know. What would they think if a thousand year old former Master of Chaos had a crush on a beautiful shy pegasus, who was afraid of her own shadow? Nothing good, he knew that.
"Hey, I came here to ask questions, not talk about my social life." He grunted, and flipped a page in his notebook. "So, I need to know the crushes of the following ponies; Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. We'll start with Rainbow Dash."
"......What?" She asked again, utterly confused. "Why in the wide, wide world of Equestria do you need to know that? I though you said you were on a seceret mission, or somethin'."
"It's a holiday mission. Hearts and Hooves day is coming up and I decided to do something good for a change, so I'm pairing ponies up with oneanother. It's going to be fun. And let me ask you, dear Applejack, what is more chaotic than love?"
Applejack looked puzzled, and opened her mouth as to say something, but was cut off by Discord.
"Exactly! Nothing." He said, sticking a golden star on the farm pony's chest and handing her a paper with had a big red 'A+++ (PS:Twilight's an egghead )' on it. "Love is the most chaotic thing you can find on this planet. So, my mission is practically a win, win." He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air while small confetty cannons exploded behind him.
"Win, win?" Applejack asked, trying to get the star off her fur, which proved to be mostly impossible.
"Yes! I can do something good AND chaotic at the same time. Ooh, I can have my cake and eat it too." He materialized a huge cake in his paws and ate it in one piece, along with the plate. He spit out various colourful lit candels which were on the cake and cleaned his mouth with a napkin, which flew away. "Oh, I'm sorry, would you like some cake?" He asked from Applejack.
"Nah, I'll pass, but I don't really think that's....." She was again, cut off by none other than Discord.
"Well, that's not important. And we're drifting away from the subject at hand, " he glanced at Applejack, "and hoof." He slumped down on a huge pink pillow next to Applejack, who had given up trying to get the golden star off her chest, and took out his notebook again. "So, where were we? Ah, yes, Rainbow Dash's crush." He said, looking at the farm pony and indicating for her to continue.
"I still don't feel right 'bout this, but I guess we did have a deal. RD? I ain't sure 'bout her, she don't really talk 'bout feelings and stuff like that. But I think she's got a thing for a fella in the Wonderbolts. What's-his-face, I don't remember his name, a blue guy. Light blue coat, dark blue mane. Always looks a bit tired."
She looked over at Discord, who was scribbeling down her every word, his snake like tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth in contsentration. "Mmhm, do continue." He mumbled, with a nod of his head.
"Well, Pinkie Pie has been goin' on 'bout Cheese Sandwich, a party pony she met when she was plannin' Rainbow's birthaversary. Boy, the two were a perfect match from the start. Both love to party, have fun, defy gravity and overall fit together perfectly. It's sad that Cheese is a traveller, they don't see one-another often. But I've heard they're pen pals now. Like you and Flutters."
"Oh, yes, the pen pal thing." He chuckled softly, recalling all of his fun conversations with Fluttershy through mail. "It truly is a delight to have someone to write to. And who actually writes back."
Applejack cleared her throat when she noticed Discord slowly drifting away into his own thoughts. Discord shook his head as he came back to reality. There was a slight blush on his face.
Applejack just gave him a 'seriously?' look. "I know you're thousands of years old, but ya act like a gigglin' schoolfilly when it comes to Flutters."
"Yes, yes," he waved a paw dismissevly, "now, let's continue with my mission, shall we?"
"Fine. Who's next?"
"Umm.....Fluttershy?" He suggested.
Applejack slightly tensed up at the sound of her pal's name. She was in a pickle. Fluttershy trusted her with most of her secrets including her crushes and she knew all too well about her crush on Discord. She didn't really approve of it, but what kind of a friend would she be if she'd try to stop them? Love works in mysterious ways. But she couldn't just say 'Hey, Discord, Fluttershy has a crush on you'. No, that wouldn't work. It seemed that the only thing to do was drop subtle hints, because she couldn't really lie about it, anypony could tell when she was lying, but yet, she couldn't just straight up tell him. So she started, carefully, picking out each word as to not make it obvious, but still give a little bit of information.
"Fluttershy likes a very....uh....unique fella." She started, cautiously.
"Ooh, guessing games!" Discord clapped his hands enthusiastically, but in truth, he was feeling everything else, than enthusiastic.
The fact, that Fluttershy liked somepony, broke Discord's heart. Sure, he didn't show it, trying to be as normal as possible, which was pretty impossible, considering who were dealing with, but inside, he was deflating. A tiny part of him had hoped that Applejack would say 'Well, loverboy, she' got a crush on you' in her ridiculous accent, but no. And why would Fluttershy like me anyway? He thought. He wasn't normal, he wasn't a pony, he looked ridiculous with his mismatch body made out of all sorts of things and he had made all their lives a living Tartarus. There was nothing he had done that was worth her affection. He wouldn't be surprised if deep down, she hated him. With those thoughs, his self-esteem slowly drifted away.
Boy, was he grateful when the voice of Applejack interrupted his thoughts. He turned his attention back to the pony next to him and tried to be as Discord-y as possible.
"The fella, er.... he's got a very, um, interestin' sense of humor, which some find funny, but most just think it's annoyin'. Most think he's annoyin'. But not Fluttershy, she loves everything he does and would protect him with all her heart, no matter what he has done or will do. She's also the only one who thinks he's a sweetheart and she trusts him, even when everybody else is doubting him."
Wait a minute.....that sound a bit like....me? He thought, but shook that thought away. It couln't be me, I'm Discord. And that's enough of a reason for her not to like me.
Applejack studied Discord's facial expressions. He sometimes moved his hands and mumbled something to himself as if debating with somepony. She knew she should probably chage the subject, since Discord's expression was getting darker by the second.
"And Rarity, " She started, saving Discord from a prison of his own thoughts. "Rarity, I think, likes Fancypants, but he's married, so I don't know how ya'll gonna make that work."
Discord sighed, deciding it best to push his personal feelings aside right now and focus on the mission. "I'll figure something out." He said.
There was a long moment of silence, none of them really knowing what to say. Applejack rubbed her right hoof with her left one, trying to think of something to end the awkward moment. She finally asked, "Discord? If that's all, I'd really like to get back to work."
"Oh, no, no, no." Discord said, shaking his paws with a devious smirk on his face. "We're not done yet."
Applejack gulped. There were moments where Discord has shown he is capable of caring and doing good for others and even being normal......-ish. But she still didn't quite trust him, especially when he was fighting his own dark thoughts. Luckly, it didn't seem like Discord was planning on doing something bad. Instead, he snapped his talons and made a waiter's uniform appear on him.
"May I ask you, to sit behind the table?" He asked, pulling out a chair with a red velvet cover from underneath a nicely set dining table.
"What tab-" She stopped, mid-sentence when she noticed the fancy furniture. Two velvet chairs, matching the red tablecloth, the blooming cherry tree and the lit candles, both on the table and on the steps and the handles of the gazebo. The table itself was set with two champagne glasses, two plates on which were freshly baked apple pies with whipped cream and a cherry on top and one chrystal vase in the middle of the dining table, with a single red rose inside of it. The sky had the colours of a perfect sunset and the brightly shining star itself was slowly sneaking behind the horizon. It was probably the most romantic thing she had seen in her life. Applejack couldn't help, but stare at the beauty which she couldn't get enough of. But suddenly, a thought occured to her: 'where's the catch?'
"Discord, all of this is mighty beautiful, but I have to ask; what kind of trick are you playing?" She asked as she eyed him suspiciously.
He placed a paw on his chest, pretending to be hurt. "Oh, dear Applejack, do you really think so low of me?" Honestly, he didn't want to hear the answer so he quickly carried on: "Trust me, Jackie, I swear, no tricks this time."
"Alrigh then..." She said slowly as she started cautiously approaching the table. As soon as her bum hit the chair, he teleported to the other side of the table, behind the second chair and tapped on it, making a certain purple dragon with a cute black bow-tie appear.
"Whoa! Scene change!" He yelled. 'What just happened?', he thought. 'One minute, I was enjoying a comic book, drinking hot coco and now I'm here...'. His eyes fell on the pony sitting opposite to him, '...with the most beautiful pony in the world...'. He couldn't get any words out of him mouth. She was indeed stunning. The warm candlelight reflecting from her already sparkling emerald eyes and the setting sun making her usual light hay coloured mane look almost golden.
Applejack blushed and looked at Spike. Then at Discord, then at Spike, and then at Discord again. He just winked and teleported away, creating a small firework show above their table before he left.
A long moment of silence filled the air, neither of then knowing what to say.
"Hi, Spike." Applejack greeted, smiling at him shyly
"Hey," he greeted back, returning the smile.
Another period of silence fell upon the two.
"So......." Spike started. He leaned one elbow onto the table, looked her up and down and asked with a simple nod, "How you doin'?"