And then they went bowling…
A short by JD Poni
Big MacIntosh held the bowling ball in his hoof, lining up his shot down the lane. He decided to go bowling with his fellow stallions while their respective fillyfriends were off doing whatever it was the elements of harmony usually did when they went on an adventure. He took a glance at the scoreboard. So far, he was almost a hundred points above anyone else playing. That would make Soarin and Caramel happy, as they were playing teams, and they were on his. Silver Arrow, Thunderhoof, and Emerald Peach were on the opposing team, and they didn’t look like they were having as good of a time. Being behind almost two hundred points would do that to a team. He smiled to himself, and started lining up his shot again. “Yep, here comes another strike.”
That was when Silver Arrow chimed in. “Hey, Big Mac. Just out of curiosity, how’s Rainbow Dash?”
Big Mac paused for a moment. “She’s just fine.” He started to move forward, brought his hoof back, started to throw his ball forward…
“No, I mean how is she in bed?”
*thunk* Gutterball. Big Mac turned around, a look of annoyance clear on his face, a dark blush showing through his bright red coat. “What?” Silver, Thunder, and Emerald just stared at him with the largest, most innocent grins on their faces. Big Mac simply sighed. “Are you seriously askin’ me that?”
Silver shrugged, his wavy red hair bobbing a little with the motion. “Well, I was really just trying to mess up your game, but now that the subject’s been brought up, color me curious.”
“I don’t really wanna talk about that… I mean, I love Dashie. I’m not sure how she’d feel about me talking about somethin’ like that…”
Emerald chimed in, his Mexicolt City accent skewing every word, and his short dark brown mane brushed back against his reddish tan coat. “Well, if you don’t wanna talk about it, mang, then I could always tell you guys what Applejack’s like in…”
Big Mac immediately cut him off, throwing his hoof right in his face. “Nope! Nope nope nope. I don’t wanna hear NOTHIN’ about that.” He let out a sigh. “You guys really wanna know what Dash is like when we… well, y’all know…” All five of the other stallions leaned in, ears perked up and eyes wide and expecting. “Well, truth be told, Dashie’s really submissive. Like, she’s always eager, pushin’ her flank up against me when we got some time all by our lonesome, but once we start, she’s always beneath me, just writhin’ and wigglin’. She’s real lovin’ too, kissin’ all over. She’s not one for beds, though. Always wants to be outside. If we spend more ‘n a few hours together, she starts getting’ all antsy, looking for a reason to get someplace private. But once we’re there, she just wants me to take charge and, well…”
Big mac faded out, looking more embarrassed than he had ever looked in his life. He looked like he just wanted to roll up in a little ball and fade away. Before anyone could press him for more information, though, Soarin chimed in. “Huh. I always figured Rainbow Dash woulda been a freak in the sack. But Fluttershy? I don’t think anyone coulda surprised me more. She is a freak in bed.”
Thunderhoof leaned in, his dark stormy blue-grey coat clashing with the white seats. “Really? Now this I gotta hear. I mean, she’s just so shy, and sweet…”
Big Mac straightened out, nodding a silent thank you to Soarin for getting the spotlight off of him. “Well, the first time we got together was crazy. I mean she’s not into anything to weird or anything, she just likes a good straight ole’ bucking.” Big Mac, Silver, and Emerald all winced at Soarin’s language, but didn’t say anything. “But man, that first night, when we got home and I fed Angel when he was sick, she just got in this mood. She was all shy and demure, and I swear, you could barely hear her when she asked if I wanted to come up to her room. I was honestly surprised. But when we got up there and I got inside her, she got loud. It took a minute, at first, she was just squeaking, blushing like you would NOT believe. I swear her entire coat turned pink. A few kisses and a few ‘I love you’s later, well, the blushing didn’t ever go down, and still doesn’t every time, but the squeaking, it turned into moaning. Then it turned into screaming. Then it turned into shrieking. She was screaming at the top of her lungs about how good it felt. My ear was right next to her mouth, and I swear that I still can’t hear right out of that ear. I bought some earplugs, but you would not believe how loud she gets.”
Caramel just looked at him, disbelief on his face. “Really? She screamed so loud it damaged your hearing?”
“Well, not at first.” Soarin continued. “At first, she was just loud. Woke up all her animals, and I think her neighbors too.”
“What? Her nearest neighbors are, like a quarter mile away.” Silver leaned back against his seat, his light silver-grey coat almost blending in with it. “That’s impossible.”
Soarin scoffed. “You sound just like Twilight. It’s your turn next by the way.”
“What?” Silver’s green eyes went wide.
“Eeyup. Yer the one who started this. You better be takin’ a turn.”
Caramel spoke up as well, blowing a stray brown hair out of his face. “Besides, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to know what Twilight’s like in the sack.”
“Man, screw you guys. I love Twilight. She’s a beautiful mare who could kill me with her horn. I’m not really up to crossing her.” Silver leaned back and crossed his forehooves across his chest.
“Wow.” Emerald let an evil smile play on his face. “Twilight must SUCK in bed.”
Silver immediately leaned forward, a blush forming on his face. “She does NOT suck in bed. She’s amazing! She’s just… into… experimentation.”
The group of stallions was silent for a moment, until Caramel broke it. “You KNOW you have to elaborate on that…”
Silver let out a sigh. “Well, let’s just say that if you’ve heard of a position, we’ve probably tried it. If you HAVEN’T heard of a position, we’ve probably tried it. We’ve tried spells, herbs, different positions, combinations…” his blush darkened considerably, matching the red of his unruly mane, “toys, punishments…” The rest of the group’s eyes went as wide as saucers. “We only tried punishments once! It turns out, well, neither of us are really into pain. Like, at all. But we’ve, well, we’ve tied each other up, we’ve used every pleasure spell in the book, even invented a few, experimented with different… well…” He looked over the group. “You guys aren’t gonna let this go, are you?”
This time, it was Big Mac’s turn to grin. “Eenope. Describe it.”
“You guys are jerks. This is WAY more embarrassing than anything you guys have said.”
“Toys, though?” Soarin looked Silver over.
“That kind of thing is pretty rare. We like just plain old vanilla sex too. It’s mainly what we do. It’s just, well, sometimes new is nice. Sometimes it’s not.” He turned his gaze from the others.
Emerald prodded him further. “Such as…”
Silver hesitated for a second, then relented. “Well, let’s just say that we learned that Twilight is not a fan of… well, you know that mares have two entrances, right?”
Soarin, being the blunt stallion he is, immediately started laughing. “So, Twilight’s not a huge fan of the anal, huh?”
Silver balked. “Dude!”
“What? Fluttershy only let me do it to her once too…”
The entire group blanched and threw out expletives. Silver continued. “Yeah, but it wasn’t me asking Twilight if we could try it. She wanted to see what it was like.”
“And she didn’t care for it?” Caramel asked, leaning further into the circle they had formed.
“Well, I’m not sure. I’ve never heard her moan so loudly, but afterward, she just looked at me and said ‘Okay, never doing THAT again…’ so take from that what you will.”
Emerald let out a small laugh. “Yeah, never asked AJ if she wanted to try that. Not sure if it’ll ever come up.”
“Fluttershy, on the other hand, started to cry when we tried. So we stopped pretty much instantly.” Soarin shrugged. “I mean, I am interested in trying some new things, but I just love her so much, I’d never want to hurt her.”
The group nodded at that, each thinking of his own respective fillyfriend. After a moment of silence, Silver spoke up. “Well, Thunder, you’ve been pretty quiet the whole time, so let’s make it your turn. What’s Rarity like?”
Thunderhoof cleared his throat and brushed his smooth golden mane back with his hoof, only to have the long hair fall back down beside his face. “Rarity, she’s fine. She doesn’t have quite the appetite that any of your fillyfriends do. She’s actually pretty reserved and more in love with her work, so she doesn’t end up having a lot of extra time. Don’t get me wrong, when she does actually have any free time, we take advantage of it, we go out, enjoy each other’s company, and sometimes, we do go back to her place. And then…” He paused, his violet eyes glazing over for a second. “I’ve never really liked insults or crude language. But, well, when we’re together and making love… well…” he took a deep breath. “Well, let’s just say that when Rarity first asked me to call her my ‘dirty little whore’, I was a little concerned.” He looked over the shocked faces of his friends, and let out a small laugh. “Oh, no, that’s one of the most considerate things she’s asked me to call her.” Thunder leaned in and lowered his voice. “She’s asked me to call her my personal cumslut, my bucking town whore, there are days I think something might actually be wrong with her. And then there’s the spanking and hair pulling.” He laughed again as the shocked expressions before him got even more exaggerated. “Oh, I don’t do it hard or anything, but she does like me to slap her flank when we’re… Well, she’s quiet, at least, but the words that come out of her mouth…”
Caramel was the first to regain his composure. “Wow. The things you learn when you talk about what they’re like during a good buck…”
Thunderhoof shook his head. “Well then, Caramel, what’s Pinkie Pie like when she’s getting that ‘good buck’?”
Soarin finally regained his voice. “Yeah. She’s usually that obnoxious bag of ADD. I can only imagine she’s WILD in bed.” He looked at the disapproving faces of his friends and shrugged. “What? I love Pinkie, but she can get really persistent!”
Caramel shook his head. “She sometimes doesn’t know how to take a hint, but my Pinkie is amazing. I’m still trying to figure out her ability to casually shatter the laws of physics.”
Silver leaned forward. “Yeah, that’s pretty crazy. But does she, like, just keep talking while you two are…”
Caramel cut him off. “No, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pinkie with all my heart, but sex is the only way I’ve ever gotten her to shut up. It’s crazy. We’ll be fooling around, she’ll be talking my ear off. I get inside of her, she’s as calm as a Hindu cow.” The rest of the group burst into laughter at that remark. After a minute, he continued. “You would barely tell when she cums, except all the fluids that come out of her. But other than that, just some soft moaning, and then she holds her breath. After that, she lets me cum, then she just starts talking again, like, picking up exactly where she left off. She was in mid-sentence one time!”
“Okay, you may need to do her in public sometime, because I’m not sure I believe you about that…” Thunderhoof blushed a little while speaking, but the laugh on his face told them he was half joking. “But there’s only one pony left…”
Big Mac immediately straightened up and stepped forward. “Nope. We’re done. We don’t need to be hearin’ nothing ‘bout mah sister…”
Silver punched Big Mac lightly in the shoulder. “Oh, grow up, ya big sissy. You know full well your sister likes to get plowed just like…”
Big Mac covered his ears with his hooves. “Nope, nope, can’t hear ya! Can’t hear ya!”
With Big Mac muttering to himself, the rest of the group looked over to Emerald. “Well, so what’s AJ like?” Soarin started. “A toned farmpony like her, I bet she’s likes it rough…”
“Do you normally fantasies about other stallions’ fillyfriends, Soarin?” Caramel poked him with his hoof.
“I’m not ‘fantasizing’ about anyone!” Now it was Soarin’s turn to blush. “Fluttershy’s all I want. I just like to know that my friends are having as fantastic of sex as I am is all.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Thunderhoof spoke. “You’re a weird guy, Soarin.”
Emerald Peach cleared his throat. “ANYway… AJ ain’t wild or nothing like that. She’s actually really sweet and loving. When we…” he stole a glance at Big Mac, who was simply glaring at him at this point, “well, when we’re together, she just blushes real hard, and then she starts crying.”
The group looked stunned. “You’re not… forcing her…” Caramel asked, worry etched on his face.
Emerald immediately jumped back. “No! Of course not, mang! I love AJ with all my heart! I would never force her to do nothing!” He looked around and realized he was yelling so loud the rest of the bowling alley heard him. He sheepishly sat back down. “When she first started crying, I freaked out a bit, wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt her or nothing. But when I asked her, she just said that she was just so happy we were together and that I accepted her for who she is, that she was so happy she just couldn’t keep the tears in. The way she holds me when we… The way she kisses me…” He took another look at Big Mac, who’s gaze had softened. It seemed there was a new unspoken respect between the two, that Big Mac understood that Emerald would take care of Applejack, no matter what.
Then Soarin ruined it. “Man, you can say you were bucking her like there was no tomorrow.”
Everyone groaned. “Man, way to ruin a perfectly heartwarming story!” Caramel complained. “Way to go.”
“I do NOT understand how Fluttershy puts up with you.” Silver Arrow held his face in his hoof.
“Here you guys are! We were looking all over for you!”
The group looked over to the bowling alley entrance and saw their respective fillyfirends, led by Twilight Sparkle, approaching them. They looked tired, but happy. They didn’t seem to have heard what the group was talking about, and that made them breathe out a collective sigh of relief. Silver was the first to speak, bounding up and approaching Twilight. “Hey, we weren’t expecting you ‘till tomorrow! Did everything go alright?”
Twilight moved up to Silver and nuzzled against his neck, their horns lightly brushing up against each other. “Yeah, we managed to find the source of the shadow and banish it back sooner than we thought, so we thought we’d come home early. I hope you’re not too disappointed to lose the bachelor life so soon…”
Silver returned the nuzzle. “Never.”
By this point, the group had broken and they had all approached their respective significant others. Rarity shied away from Thunderhoof. “Oh, no, I’m positively filthy after that long train ride, I wouldn’t want anypony to touch me in this state.” She looked expectantly into his eyes. “I was going to take a bath first, but if you wouldn’t mind, I should like if you’d help me wash my back.” She moved in closer and gave him a knowing look. “After all, I am feeling very dirty…” Soarin couldn’t contain the laugh that was building up in this throat, and let out an amused snort before he caught himself. Rarity looked at him, then back to Thunderhoof. “What was…”
“Nothing! There is nothing going on! Because we were bowling! And nothing else!”
Everyone stared at Thunder’s outburst for a moment, until Twilight looked at Silver. “What’s going on?”
Silver managed to pry his head up out of his hoof despite the epic facehoof his life had become. “Nothing, that’s just Thunderhoof demonstrating his skills as a master obfuscator.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain later, in what I’m sure will be exacting scientific detail.”
At the word ‘scientific’, Twilight perked up. “Oh, speaking of science, I learned a new spell in the Crystal Empire! I was hoping that…” a blush formed on her face. “Well, I was wonder if you’d like to test it out with me. Purely for scientific research, of course…” At that, Soarin couldn’t contain himself anymore, and burst out laughing. Carmel and Pinkie Pie followed suit, though everyone knew that Pinkie Pie was probably just laughing to laugh. Twilight looked at the laughing ponies, then a knowing look showed on her face, her eyelids half down in frustration. She looked Silver right in the eyes. “You told them, didn’t you?”
Silver retreated, instantly on the defensive. “It came up! I’m sorry! It’s not like I’m ashamed of being with you or anything, I honestly don’t know how I managed to get together with somepony as amazing as you!”
Twilight just stared for a moment. “You’re trying to dig yourself out of this hole, aren’t you…”
“Desperately. Is it working?”
Another moment passed. Suddenly, Twilight moved forward and kissed her coltfriend. “Yeah, I think it might be.”
Rainbow Dash cut in between all the pairs and grabbed Big Mac by the yoke. “Well, I don’t know what any of you are talking about, I just want to take Big Mac outta here and find some alone time. I haven’t gotten any since we left!” With that, she started dragging Big Mac out of the bowling alley, embarrassed, but excitement showing on his face.
Rarity was the next to speak. “Well, that was horrific. I think it’s time I take my leave as well.” She started out of the building, but then looked back to Thunderhoof. “Are you coming, my dear?”
Breaking out of his stun, Thunder shook his head, messing up his golden mane a bit, smiled, and trotted up beside Rarity. “Of course, my lady.” Together, the two exited.
Pinkie Pie finally broke her silence and jumped on Caramel. “Yeah, a bath sounds good, and we should totally take one together! I’ve been missing you, and I really want to have sex! By the way, did you know that in the crystal empire, they have this GIANT fountain that spits out liquid rock candy? It solidifies before it hits the floor so anyone can just…” her voice faded out as Caramel carried her out of the alley and toward his house.
Applejack let out a sigh, walked over to Emerald Peach, and kissed him on the cheek. “Well, it looks like everypony else is goin’ for a little playtime, but if you don’t mind, we gotta git and fix up the cider press. Would ya mind givin’ me a hand there?”
Emerald smiled and nodded. “Of course. We gotta make sure everything’s working good, and there’s nopony else I’d rather be working with.”
Applejack nuzzled against him. “I’m mighty glad ta hear that.”
As the two walked out of the building, Emerald’s voice rang out. “Wait, I thought we fully repaired the cider press before you left…”
Applejack let out an amused snort. “Oh my, you have seen through my clever ruse…”
With only the two pairs left, Silver grinned expectantly at Twilight. Twilight just let out a happy, but exhausted sigh. “Come on, that spell isn’t gonna test itself.”
Silver jumped up and kissed Twilight. “For science!” The two started out the door. “So, any idea what the spell does?”
“Well, from what I read, it’s supposed to be a ‘fluid enhancer’. I guess we’ll find out what THAT means…”
With Twilight and Silver gone, only Soarin and Fluttershy remained, and Fluttershy was beet red. She tried to say something, but only scared squeaks came out, and she hid her face behind her hooves.
Soarin sat down next to her and put his foreleg around her shoulders. Nuzzling against her neck, he placed a small kiss on her. “Hey, it’s okay. I know those guys can be pretty forward, but you don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”
After a moment, Fluttershy finally found her voice. “It’s just… It’s so embarrassing to talk about it…”
“I know.” He placed another kiss on her cheek and wrapped a wing around her as well. “We don’t have to talk about or do anything you don’t want. I’m just happy being with you.”
“Oh, no, I do want… I mean… that is… well, I’ve missed you…”
“I’ve missed you too.” He stood up and helped Fluttershy find her feet as well. She was still blushing very hard. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we just get home, and I’ll work all that stress right out of you. You seem like you could use a good massage.”
She blushed and shrank back a bit more. “Just a massage?”
“I figure we’ll start there, and whatever happens, happens. But I don’t want you to have to worry about anything.” The two started to walk out of the building, Fluttershy holding onto Soarin as though she would fall through the ground. “I know you don’t like to talk about it. I’m sorry, I just really felt like I needed to make fun of all the rest of them. All in good fun, you know.”
Flutter nodded. “But, well, do you want to… you know…”
Soarin let out a small giggle. “Fluttershy, I ALWAYS want to. But I want you to be happy more than I want anything else.”
She smiled and nuzzled against his neck. “And I want you to be happy.” She placed a small kiss on him after checking that no one was watching. “But that massage sounds good.” She moved her mouth up to his hear and started to whisper. “And after, well, I kinda really want you to work that stress out in another way…” Her blush came back full force.
Soarin giggled. “As you wish, my love.”
The End