//------------------------------//
// This fic is gettin weired. 
// Story: Permission to FREAK OUT!? (sequel to Lost, on the heat of battle. a TF2 and MLP crossover.) 
// by heavy weapons brony 
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Vagineer sat atop his dispenser with his feet dangling above his head, He banged on his guitar with his fists blissfully, Today had been a good day.


Ever since Vagineer awoke in this strange new world, only luck followed. He had his sentry gun and dispenser all the way to level three and with nothing else to do, he played his guitar while enjoying the scenery. 


Vagineer’s three stomachs all growled, There’s something he had to do and that was to find lunch. Vagineers preferred red meat in there diet. Vagineer scanned the area around him, all there was where some offhand wildlife that wandered near Vagineer’s nest. Vagineer turned a nose to dead animals, Vagineers preferred something alive, alive and small. 


So without much more thought Vagineer slid down to the ground, told his dispenser that he was in charge and to shoot any Pootbirds that happened by and marched into the forest to find something to eat.


After only a few minutes Vagineer happened by something that made him dance with glee, A roaring river. Sure, it wasn't food but there was something Vagineers enjoyed just as much as eating.


Tele-Trapping.


Vagineer quickly coughed up red toolbox, then wildly banged on it with his wrench. Soon a level three Teleporter exit stood idly in front of him. Vagineer picked up the teleporter and held it above his head and danced with pride, then threw the Teleporter into the river where it stuck fast to the floor of the raging river.


“Yippieyaykayooooooo” Vagineer proclaimed in celebration, then followed the river against the current, thinking it would lead to civilisation.


Vagineer’s suspicions were confirmed when the river lead to a huge farm of some sort, Vagineer snuck up to the farm and quickly hin within the field of trees.


Vagineer stealthy slipped through the orchard, until he came upon something he was looking for.


A treehouse, a treehouse meant children, and Vagineer loved children, they were his favorite meal.


Vagineer prepared to dance with joy until he heard a twig snap, Vagineer quickly hid behind a tree trunk, then peeked out from behind.


Vagineer found that the tree house as being guarded, by a huge red stallion.


“HUrrrrrrr”  Vagineer growled, He sized up the stallion, He was confident he could take the stallion, but hated the idea of wasting energy of something he couldn’t eat.


The Vagineer got an idea, a wonderful idea, a awful idea, a wonderfully awful idea.


Vagineer snuck up behind the red stallion and silently coughed up a red toolbox.


A earshettering scream was erupted from the forest, the red stallions attention was turned, Vagineer saw his chance and dropped the toolbox and started banging on it wildly.


“Rarity?” The red stallion asked himself, then noticed the racket Vagineer was making.


The red stallion turned to see Vagineer, dancing wildly mocking him.


“What in tarnation!? you get outta here!” The red stallion charged, but after two steps he had accidentally stepped on the Vagineers teleporter, and in a flash of bright red light, he was gone.


“WEEEHAHOOOOOO” Vagineer laughed, then after a short dance, turned his attention to the treehouse.


The treehouse had a single window on the side, Vagineer shot out his right hand out and grappled the roof, then reeled himself up to the window. 


Vagineer peered into the window, inside the treehouse were three adorable fillies, all lying about for the taking.


“I just don’t see why we couldn’t go and fight the monster, we’ve fought them before!!” a yellow filly with a red mane and a pink bow exasperated.


“When did we ever fight monsters Apple Bloom?” a dark orange pegasus fille questioned.


“Member Scootaloo? we fought that cockatrice with Fluttershy!” Apple Bloom retorted.


“You mean we ran around and screamed while the cockatrice almost changed all of us to stone?” Scootaloo rebuttled. 


“Well, we lived didn’t we?” Apple bloom Shouted, then returned to laying on the floor out of boredom.”


“Well i still say we draw! I’m just so bored!’ a white filly with a purple and pink mane suggested.


“WAIT! SweetieBelle!, Scootaloo! i got it! how’ bout we go looking for one of them monsters ourselves?” Apple Bloom exclaimed.


“Applejack and Rarity said to stay in the clubhouse where we would be safe, the way she was talking, these monsters sounded pretty dangerous” Sweediebelle Said with a bit of worry.


“Well, we just need to show our sisters that were not babies anymore, and i think the best way to do that is to go out and bag one of them mon,....sters” Apple bloom felt her words falter as she noticed the face of the Vagineer peering through the window.


All three filles screamed as Vagineer swung through the window and retracted his grapple hand.


“Wooweeelololo” Vagineer proclaimed, then made a dive for Apple Bloom.


Apple Bloom Dodged and ran under Vagineers legs, the other two Fillies also darted off, Sweetiebelle and Apple Bloom both went for the door of the clubhouse while Scootaloo used her wings to float out the shattered window.


“HUrrrr” Vagineer growled in frustration, then jumped out the shattered window in pursuit.


Vagineer landed on the ground with a thud, and followed the fillies with his eyes. All three were heading into the forest where he came from.


Vagineer chased the fillies into to the tree line, then followed them into the forest.


Vagineer chased the fillies through the forest, tearing through mud puddles and bushes, Soon Vagineer, Having the longest legs, began to close the gap between him and the fillies.


Then Vagineer got a lucky break.


The three fillies had come upon a fallen log, Apple Bloom and Sweetiebelle had climbed over it no problem, but when Scootaloo attempted she got her wing caught on a broken branch. 


“Apple Bloom! Sweetie! HELP!” Scootaloo shouted while struggling with her wing.


Both fillies turned just in time to see Vagineer pounce from behind Scootaloo and Snatch her from the grasp of the log, Then devour her in a single motion.


SweetieBelle held a hoof to her mouth and dry heaved, “C’mon! we gotta keep running!” Apple Bloom Shouted in attempt to console her friend.


But it was too late, the extra second Sweeties stomach had given the Vagineer had allowed him to scoop up both fillies by the scruff of their necks.


“WEEEEWOOOLOLOLOLO!!!!” Vagineer shouted, Them shoved SweetieBelle into his mouth, Swallowing her whole.


“APPLEJACK! SOMEPONY! HHEEEEELLL-MMMMM” Apple Bloom screamed but was cut off by Vagineer. 







“Thats mah Sister!” Applejack proclaimed, then ran in the direction of the screams.


Fluttershy picked up the unconscious Pinkie Pie and the whole group followed and soon came upon Vagineer facing the other direction.


“You! Where’s Mah Sister!?’ Applejack Yelled pointing a hoof at Vagineer.


Vagineer turned, revealing that he had something in his deformed mouth, a red bushy tail stuck out from it and under it a pair of yellow hind legs desperately kicked.


“No” Applejack shuttered, holding a hoof to her mouth.


Sensing that he was in trouble, Vagineer swallowed the rest of his meal and darted into the forest.


Applejack broke from her daze and ran after him, Scout, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash followed, Fluttershy however fainted at the sight of Vagineer, and dropped Pinkie Pie. Both now lied on the forest floor.


Applejack was catching up with Vagineer as they both darted through the forest, Vagineer knew this and pulled out his frontier justice and began firing it at Applejack.


Buckshot bounced off Applejack, Stinging her all over, But she was determined to save her sister, nothing would stop her.


Vagineer became frightened, but most of his fears lifted when he came upon his nest. Vagineer quickly took out his Wangler, As soon as Applejack Broke through the Bushes, Vagineer fired.


Applejack quickly dodged to her right and hid within the bushes.


“HUrrrr” Vagineer roared, he fired his wangler then proceeded to mulch the bushes with sentry fire. Soon his sentry ran out of ammo, Vagineer roared at his dispencer, accusing it of wasting the ammo on nothing but its own entertainment. Vagineer dropped his wrangler and yelled at his dispencer as he banged wildly on his sentry with his wrench, but his anger lifted when his dispenser apologized.


As Vagineer worked on his senry, it reactivated and pointed itself at him, Vagineer was shocked, he turned around to see Applejack grasping his wangler in her hooves pointing the laser directly at his feet.


Both Vagineer and Applejack stared at each other, Then Applejack slammed her hoof on the red button. Vagineer’s sentry fired four rockets, all which connected to the ground below him causing him to explode in a shower of gibs and entrails.


Applejack dropped the wrangler and wiped her face of blood, then slowly walked up to the puddle that had been Vagineer, something caught her eye.


Three huddled forms Applejack recognized as her little sister and her two friends.


Applejack Lowed her self and clutched the three filthy forms and idly sobbed for her Sister, in being so close to them, she realized something. 


All three were still breathing.


Soon, Scout, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash found Applejack wading in the goop that had been Vagineer.


Twilight and Rainbow Approached Applejack in a effort to comfort her, while Scout began to get frantic again.


“Ohmygod, This is bad, this is really bad” Scout shouted while eyeing the puddle of Vagineer.


“No! Twilight! Rainbow! there still breathing, we need to get them somewhere safe” Applejack shouted snapping out of her daze.


“No! you don’t understand, you never, ever Gib a Vagineer.” Scout explained.


All three looked around and found the pieces of Vagineer and begun to shake, then one by one all of them transformed into another Vagineer with a loud pop.


The group soon found themselves surrounded by 10 to 15 Vagineers, all began to advance on them.


Twilight and Applejack huddled around the three gore covered fillies and Scout pulled out his scattergun and Rainbow Dash put up her hooves to fight..



“SOUPCAN!” a gruff voice uttered, Dic soupcan had appeared on the far side of the group of Vagineers.


Dic Soupcan wielded his Eyelander and a bottle of scrumpy menacingly as he charged into the group of Vagineers, removing the heads of several Vagineers and stuffing the rest of them into a never ending supply of empty soup cans.


Scout and Rainbow didn’t waste a second, they charged into battle to aid Dic Soupcan, Scout shot several Vagineers in the chest with is scattergun knocking them out while Rainbow flew at unimaginable speeds and kicked them in their faces, much to the same result. Which would have done nothing for the fact Vagineers can heal themselves from such a wound, but Dic Soupcan came by and stuffed Scout’s and Rainbow’s victims into his Soup Cans.


It all came down to one Vagineer left, Dic Soupcan charged. Scout quickly knocked Dic Soupcan off his balance (which was easy due to his constant inebriation.)


Scout pulled out Spy’s electro sapper and placed it on the frightened Vagineer, He hollard and spun around in place. Then after several backflips The Vagineer fell to the ground.


Dic Soupcan charged back off into the forest, Dic Soupcan was always a nice freak not having to eat people for nourishment, he instead just liked to fight other freaks. With no freaks around to fight Dic Soupcan left the group to find more freaks.



The group huddled over the Vagineer, His face slowly returned to normal. Soon Engineer was back.


Scout pulled of the electro sapper and observed Engie who had began to stir.


“UUuuugg, What in sam hill” Engie sat up, removed his hardhat and held his head.


Engie observed his surroundings, he then gave Scout a look on confusion “Scout, did we get inta Demos scrumpy last night?” Engi asked.


“Naw Engie, your not gonna believe it but what you're seeing is real” Scout explained.


“Well, if you're not worried, i guess i’m not worried” Engie explained, standing up and dusting himself off. 


“Soldier should have never built that darn machine, now look where its got us” Engie complained.


“Well, thats not the worst of it.”


Engie turned to Scout “What do you mean?” Engie asked.


“Its the freaks Hardhat, their back,” Scout explained.


“Oh no! how many of them?” Engie asked.


“Well, it was all of you guys except me. but we just recently cured Spy, we’ll meet up with him later, now we cured you so we’ll go for the rest later” Scout explained.


“Cured me!?” Engie shouted, he then observed the ponies, the mess, and the fact Soup cans littered the ground.


“You mean i was?” Engie asked.


“Oh yeah” Scout answered.


“And I” Engie asked Pointing to the mess and the fillies.


“Yep” Scout answered.


“Well, we gotta get these three youngins to a place where i can keep an eye on them” Engie said.


“Well, mah farms not to far from here, we can go there.” Applejack suggested.


“That’l have to do, c’mon!” Engie Scooped up the three fillies in his arms and followed Applejack out of the forest.


“Engie, Hold up!” Scout shouted.


Engie turned to Scout.


“We’ll if you’re leavin, we need you pomson gun thingy, we gotta go get pyro,” Scout explained.


Engie shifted the three fillies to one arm, then he pulled out his pomson 6000 and handed it to Scout. “Good luck partner” Engi mused, then followed Applejack into the forest.


Scout thought about what just happened, “Deja vu,” he whispered to himself.


“Hey! Scout!” Rainbow shouted.


“What?”


“We’re gonna bring Fluttershy and Pinkie back to Flutters home, its not far from here and the’ve been through enough.”


“Oh Okay, lets get movin.”









Engie sat at the dinner table with a huge feast of apple related sweets surrounding him.


“Much obliged ma'am but after what i’ve been through i don’t feel much like eatin.” Engie explained to a enderly apple green mare who had done nothing but talk and cook since him and Applejack arrived at the farmhouse with the three fillies.


“Oh nonsense, traveling from another dimension and saving my granddaughter from a monster has gotta raise a appetite in any pony, err Dimond dog, err what did you say you we’re?” The elderly mare asked.


“Imma Human, Ma’am” Engie explained.


“Right” She agreed and put another plate of apple fritters in front of him.


Damn if she didn’t remind Engie of his own grandmother God rest her soul if she were dead.




Applejack paced around the door to Apple blooms room, She had cleaned of the fillies best she could and put all three in Apple Blooms bed. They had yet to wake up and Applejack was near tears with worry.


Applejacks heart skipped a beat when she heard rustling in the room, she approached the door “Apple Bloom? Sweetiebelle? Scootaloo? are you guys okay?


The door swung open, and three little fillies stood in the door frame.


“Oh Thank heavens!” Applejack cheers and prepared to hug her sister.


“Cutie Mark me!” Apple Bloom Shouted.


“What?” Applejack asked, withholding her hug.


“Viral administration mode activated,” SweetieBelle said in a cold robotic tone.


“Scootaloo!!” Scootaloo shouted.


“What?” Applejack reiterated.


Without another word, Applebloom slid across the floor without moving her legs at all to Applejacks flank, she then took and apple from Applejacks cutie mark in her teeth, peeled it off, chewed it and swallowed.


“Just what the hay!” Applejack uttered before all three fillies pounced on Applejack, biting her entire body. 





“Just what the Hay!” Applejack shouted causing Engie to shoot up from the dinner table, he ran out of the dining room and down the hall.


Engie came upon the three fillies biting Applejack.


“Was going on here!?” Engie Shouted.


All three filles looked at Engie.


“SCOOTALOO!!” Scootaloo shouted, then threw herself out of a nearby window.


“Cutie mark me!” Applebloom shouted.


“Adversary too large to fight, activating retreat procedures” SweetieBelle shouted in a weird robotic tone.


Both Fillies darted under Engie’s legs and charged through the front door, running out into the orchard.


Engie just stood there, dumbfounded, then a horrible thought entered his head.


“Aaaaa, Applejack? you alright?” Engie asked.


Applejack raised her head and looked at Engie with a blank expression.


Engie Raised an eyebrow.


Applejack’s neck then grew 6 feet long, she looked down at Engie.


Engie raised his other eyebrow.


“Nah!” Applejack shouted, then her lower body began spinning around like a helicopter, it lifted off the ground and the entirety of Applejack few out the front door in search of her little sister. 


Engie just stood there with his mouth hanging open.


The elderly green mare then happened by Engie.


“Oh! looks like the youngins are feeling better, probably went outside to play, he he hee, thats just like em.” She mused.


Engie broke from his stupor, “Yeah, outside, playing, listen i gotta go, tell Applejack somthin” 


Engie then sprinted out the broken front door.


“Oh Alright then, if you see Applejack ask her if she’s seen her big brother! i can’t find him anywhere!,.....aw fiddlesticks, aww hes probably with his marefriend that teacher.”