Scratchees
“John, you are needed at Table 5.” The voice of my boss rang out from his office. The place in question was, of course, where I worked. And it was called ‘Scratchers’. It was loosely modelled after the restaurant chain back on Earth called, ‘Hooters’, but instead of hot chicks walking around in tanktops and shorts, there were humans of all sorts of races working there.
There were all sorts of jobs to be done there, we had the run-of-the-mill staff you would see on Earth, y’know. Cooks, Busboys, Waiters, Servers, etcetera. But there was one extra job that gave the restaurant its name. And that, was my job. Y’see, I was one of the ‘Scratchers’, which meant that I had the job of petting the customers, which can sometimes be a treat, depending on the pony. Oh good god, I remember our first customer… When she realized why the restaurant got its name, she didn’t seem too happy about it, well, that was before a ‘Scratcher’ got to pet her, then she ended up falling asleep in the middle of her meal. When she woke up, she hadn’t realized that she had been out for a good two hours, and she did look rather silly, having fallen asleep with her face landing in her meal, so she had a faceful of macaroni salad. She did wonder what had happened when she had been out. Well, she stopped complaining about the restaurant after that, that’s for sure.
“John, hurry up! Ponies don’t pet themselves!”
“Yessir. I’m on it.” I muttered, before heading off to the table in question. Before I get on with the story, allow me to introduce myself. I am John, and out of all the employees, I’m actually one of the tallest, if not the tallest here, standing at a good 6’7”, that makes me tower over ponies and some, if not most, humans. I have dark brown hair, with dark brown eyes to match. I have to wear my glasses, which are black wire frame lenses, I was wearing my uniform, which is a simple maroon polo shirt, with ‘Scratchers’ on the front in Gold Stitching (done by Rarity, of course), the pants were black jeans, and I was wearing the black work shoes I was given. Boy, it was a pain to get my clothes ordered, they had to have mine, as well as some other employees, specially made, mine were the pants, which had to come out of my first paycheck….. Anyway, back to the story.
I looked around at the restaurant. The flooring was a hardwood sort, (maybe dark-stained oak,) there were booths all around the area, colored in a red and black color scheme, as were the chairs. There was a bar area, which was sort of secluded from the rest of the restaurant, of course, this is where most of the stallions were normally at, can’t say I blame them, if I were a guy in a species where the guy-girl ratio was 7 girls to 1 guy, I’d be getting drunk too. There is a private area where some upper-class ponies go in order to relieve some of their stresses from being part of the Hoi Polloi. But, that’s another story. Anyways, enough of the building, back to me.
I had shown up at Table 5, and looked at my clients that were sitting there. There were two mares there, one was a mint green unicorn with a green and white mane, with golden eyes and a lyre for a cutie mark, I knew her well, heck, every Scratcher knew her, but the second mare was new, she was a pasty beige-like color, with a pink and blue mane, with candy as a cutie mark. She also looked nervous too, as if she didn’t want to be here.
“Lyra, are you sure this is a good idea, I mean… These humans look a little bit threatening…. And I don’t like monsters touching me….” She said in a scared, if not whiny, voice.
“Oh stop worrying BonBon, you’ll be just fine. Besides, haven’t you ever wanted to know what human hands feel like?” Lyra said, with what looked like stars in her eyes. Same old Lyra, she was our regular here, well, at least when she wasn’t on tour with the Canterlot Royal Orchestra, or something like that.
The mare, who I now knew as BonBon, groaned. “No Lyra, I don’t, and I don’t intend to find out. I just want to eat my meal, and leave.” Sheesh, she sounded very ticked, Lyra must’ve dragged her here against her will, which I would be willing to bet on.
“Well, hello there Lyra, and friend of Lyra,” I said, as I made my presence known to the two mares. “Which one of you ordered one of the Three Stooges?” I joked, grinning.
Lyra, now looking at me, grinned broadly. “Hi John,” She said in her cheery voice. “I asked for you, y’see, BonBon here doesn’t like humans, because she is afraid of you.”
“Oh really?” I asked, feigning hurt and sadness. “Oh woe is me, woe is me, a little pony is afraid of me…..” I looked at BonBon with sad eyes, and tears coming out of them.
Lyra just giggled. “I know, right?” She said, smiling broadly, “I keep trying to tell her that humans are not monsters, but she simply refuses to listen to me.” She grinned, before turning back to BonBon. She didn’t have to say anything that time, the look in her eyes said everything.
BonBon gave out a sigh, which seemed to be mixed with a groan. “Fine,” She said in defeat. “I’ll let him pet me, only if it keeps you quiet, but if I do NOT like it, then we are leaving.”
I chuckled quietly to myself, this was how most customers usually acted during their first time at the restaurant. But all it took was a few minutes of petting, and they would be putty under the hands that were petting them. I sighed, and cracked my knuckles. It wasn’t a bad thing, but merely a force of habit. I quietly patted BonBon’s head carefully, then began to slowly pet her, very similar to how one would pet a dog, or a nervous puppy. My hand went from the top of her mane, to the middle of the back of her neck, and repeat. I used the tips of my fingers to run over the sweet spots, a.k.a behind the ears.
BonBon moaned in pure bliss. From my stand point she seemed to be enjoying herself very well. Lyra only giggled happily as her friend began to lean up into my hand. “See BonBon, I told you that it was a good idea.” She said happily.
BonBon said nothing, but she did begin to lean a bit more into my hand. “Hhaaaaannddssss…..” She said in a daze. Oh boy, this could end up being bad. I didn’t say anything, but BonBon apparently had something else to say. “Could you pet my back, I feel like there is a kink there.”
I just chuckled. She wouldn’t have been the first pony to say something like this. Some ponies usually felt so good, that they would sometimes use us as makeshift masseurs. Which would sometimes work, but we knew better than to argue with the customer. “It’ll charge you extra, and I’m not joking.” I said, as I moved my left hand down to scratch her back, while my other hand kept working behind the ears.
“I….don’t….caaareee….” She muttered, as she began to lean on me. She sounded as if she was starting to fall asleep.
Lyra, during all this, had watched with interest. “John, do you think you could pet me too?” She asked, flashing me her puppy-dog eyes. Gyah. I hate it when those ponies do that, it just isn’t fair….
I chuckled and nodded, before carefully moving my right hand away from behind BonBon’s ears to pet Lyra behind her ears. I soon wished I hadn’t. From BonBon came a bit of a growl, it was a bit off-putting.
“My hands….” She said darkly. Lyra and I looked at each other. “Get your own hands, mine!” She yelled, then grabbed my arm. “Mine.” She growled. I knew that I was in no position to argue, so I just continued scratching BonBon. I was still scratching when the waiter came, when the food came, and while they were eating was when I managed to get a quick reprieve from my scratching. I blew on my fingers repeatedly, since they seemed very warmer.
“Well,” I said. “If that is all, then I guess I’ll be on my way then, I hope you enjoy the rest of your meal.” I said, scratching both Lyra and BonBon behind their ears.
Lyra nodded, and I took that as my cue to leave. But as I took one step away from the table, I felt a hoof grab my by my shirt and force me back. I looked at the hoof, it was beige, which could only mean that…..
BonBon glanced at me from her food. “Will you still be working here if I come back?” She asked in a sort of pleading voice.
I nodded. “Of course I will, I work here after all.” I grinned. This seemed to ease BonBon’s mind, and just in time.
“John, you’re needed at Table 25!”
“Yessir. I’m on it.” I said, as I turned to leave, I stuck a thumb-up at the two ponies. To them, as well as other ponies, this would usually be the highlight of their day. To me however, this was just all in a day’s work.