//------------------------------//
// Obnoxious and Annoying 
// Story: The Wandering Physicist Adventures 
// by WanderingPhysicist 
//------------------------------//

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, The Great and Powerful Trixie, Rei, Maxie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash
Cameos: Steven Magnet
Original Write Date: November 7,2011





    The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are enjoying a nice day out at the park. Both are completely in their element. He is using his mobile with tethering and is working on his laptop. She is buried in a book. Anypony walking by would see the perfect couple. Overhead, Rei is zipping around like crazy. Nopony would guess that in an alternate reality the fused souls of two of the most introverted ponies would father the most hyperactive pegasus after Surprise of Cloudsdale.
    The Wandering Physicist adjusts the ball cap he is wearing for maximum sun blockage. Twilight negotiated him down from a full biker helmet. With his hat in place, he raises a hoof to the air with a piece of candy on the end. Rei zooms past and takes the candy without touching him. The watching ponies clap at the trick.
    ‘Stop that,’ Twilight says. ‘Too much sugar is bad for her.’
    ‘She’ll be fine,’ The Wandering Physicist assures. ‘Plus, this is good training for the circus.’
    ‘You’re not selling her to the circus.’
    ‘Awwww!’ The Wandering Physicist and Rei moans in unison.
    Twilight sighs and goes back to her book. Rei zooms off to fly around again. The Wandering Physicist hits a key on his computer and sits back.
    ‘There. Posted the pics from our trip.’
    ‘Pics?’ Twilight asks. ‘We were only there overnight.’
    The Wandering Physicist cackles. Twilight sighs, gets up and goes around to see the pictures. Her eyes instantly go wide.
    ‘You mooned Discord!’ The Wandering Physicist goes to the next pic. ‘What the hell are you doing there!’
    ‘Looks like they are bringing sexy back,’ Rei comments from over Twilight’s shoulder.
    ‘That is Discord! The god of chaos and Equestria’s worst enemy!’
    ‘Yeah. And he is bringing sexy back too, apparently.’
    Twilight groans at Rei. She turns back to The Smirking Physicist. ‘Who took those?’
    The Wandering Physicist goes to the next picture that shows him and Discord wearing the guards’ helmets, and they and a guard making funny faces. Twilight facehoofs. The next picture comes up. Rei falls to the ground laughing. Twilight looks up. The Wandering Physicist and Celestia are making funny faces next to Discord while wearing the guards’ helmets.
    ‘I hate you so much,’ Twilight growls.
    ‘The feeling is mutual,’ A boastful voice says from behind the group.
    They turn to see two light blue unicorns. One is a stallion. He is posing dramatically and magically making his cape flap in the wind. The other is a very bored-looking mare who is using her magic to file her hooves. Rei recognizes the mare. Her eyes go wide, and she shoots into the sky. Everypony just thinks Rei is acting normal.
    ‘Can we get this over with? The Great and Powerful Trixie has better things to do,’ Trixie states.
    ‘It will be over soon enough.’ Maxie points a hoof at The Wandering Physicist. ‘You will pay for the insult you unfairly levied against The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie.’
    ‘No time. Busy.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to his computer.
    Maxie stomps the ground. ‘You can’t do that! That is not fair. Trixe, tell him that is not fair.’
    ‘Maxie, just play your stupid game and be done with it.’
    ‘Fine. Mr Hayate!’ Maxie declares.
    ‘That is Hayate-san if you want to get technical,’ The Wandering Physicist corrects.
    ‘Whatever. I challenge you to another game battle. This time The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie will not lose!’
    ‘Ugh. Fine. If it will shut you up.’
    The Wandering Physicist closes his laptop and gets his pack with all of his hoofhelds in it. He goes over to challenge Maxie. Trixie comes over and sits across from Twilight.
    ‘Are you here for another magic duel too, Trixie?’ Twilight asks, glaring at her once-rival.
    ‘Pul-ease. The Great and Apologetic Trixie would never stoop to something as mundane as this. Not that that oaf would listen.’
    ‘Oh.’ Twilight is surprised.
    ‘Don’t think you are getting off easy,’ Trixie hurriedly says. ‘When Trixie finally one-ups you, it will be spectacular.’ She turns her nose up.
    Twilight groans and goes back to her reading.
    ‘Your Ursa Minor trick is a popular part of my act.’
    Twilight drops her book. ‘What?’
    Trixie looks over. ‘I have been incorporating more illusion stories into my act. Told properly, of course. Your vanquishing of the Ursa Minor is one of my more popular stories.’
    ‘Well, uh, thank you?’ Twilight replies and goes back to her book.
    Trixie smirks. ‘My story also has more hits on YouTube than the original video of your act.’
    Twilight slams her book closed. ‘What!’
    Trixie laughs. ‘Jealous much?’
    Twilight blushes. ‘N-no. It is just that I didn’t know there was a video of me.’
    There is a loud crack of thunder from above as Rei shoots back to the ground. She stops just above Trixie.
    ‘OH! MY! LUNA!’ Rei stammers. ‘You are The Great and Powerful Trixie!’
    ‘Guilty~~~!’ Trixie sings. Twilight rolls her eyes.
    Rei squeals so hard that she could shatter glass across town. She starts dancing and doing tricks all across the sky.
    ‘I have that effect on some ponies,’ Trixie says to Twilight smugly.
    Twilight sighs. ‘She is not from around here, so she doesn’t know your reputation.’
    ‘So she is from somewhere that appreciates class.’
    ‘Actually...’ Twilight raises hoof to lecture then stops. ‘Never mind. It is a long story.’
    Rei comes back. She is pushing a mint-green unicorn she just happened to find. The unicorn is holding a camera.
    ‘I must have a picture!’ Rei begs.
    ‘Anything for a fan,’ Trixie readies a dramatic pose.
    Before Twilight can escape, Rei catches her. ‘With both of you.’
    Twilight moans and joins the shot. Rei slows down her excitement enough to stop for the picture. The majority of her face is an over-sized grin. The unicorn gives the camera back then flees for her life. Rei squeals again at the picture.
    ‘Why didn’t you get that excited when you met me?’ Twilight complains.
    Rei calms down. ‘Sorry. Trixie was the only one of you I hadn’t met yet back home, and I am a huge fan of her work.’
    ‘Yes, I am amazing,’ Trixie brags.
    ‘Hmpf. I really don’t see why she would have been chosen instead of me.’
    ‘Um... Well...’ Rei says, looking away from Twilight and remembering her history lessons. ‘Nothing! Besides, you two are alike. You are both masters of magic. You both even have magic-themed special talents.’
    ‘Yeah, but my magic is practical magic. Real spells with real effects.’
    ‘And my illusions don’t have any real effects? Tell that to all of the amazed fans that come to my shows.’
    ‘But I can actually change physical objects. You only do tricks.’
    ‘Hey!’ Rei snaps. ‘Illusions! Tricks are something a whore does for money!’ Twilight stares back in shock. ‘... or cocaine.’
    Twilight and Trixie are shocked at what they heard. Both shake it off.
    ‘Um... Anyway...’ Trixie starts. ‘My illusions bring joy to many. Sure, there is no direct physical change, but the emotional changes are real. A good mood can change the world.’ Rei nods besides Trixie.
    ‘Fine. But what about my friends? You publicly humiliated them for the sake of your act. Twice!’
    ‘My act has changed now. I would make amends if I could.’
    ‘Ooo!’ Rei disappears off into the sky.
    ‘I don’t like the looks of that...’ Twilight sighs.
    ‘Trixie! Make him be nice to me!’ Maxie moans as he comes over. ‘I want to win at least one game!’
    The Wandering Physicist happily trots over and sits by Twilight.
    ‘You mean you made me travel all the way out here, and you couldn’t even win one game! Didn’t you have a plan in that empty shell you call a skull!’
    ‘Yes...’
    ‘What was it, I shudder to ask.’
    ‘I was going to beat him then gloat about it.’
    Trixie facehoofs. ‘This is why your side of the family is never invited to the reunions. ... that and other, obvious reasons,’ She hisses.
    Twilight turns to ask The Wandering Physicist a question. ‘Forty-seven to zero. Didn’t even lose a single Pokemon this time.’ He beams.
    Trixie sighs. ‘Well, it looks like our business is done here. We should be leaving.’
    ‘Wait! What about apologizing to my friends?’
    ‘I guess we will have to make peace another time.’
    ‘Make peace? Is that even possible?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.
    ‘I am sure my friends would love to get an apology,’ Twilight answers.
    ‘But would they listen? Applejack is very sensible, but Rainbow Dash is very stubborn and Rarity... Well, she just about bit my head off when I suggested getting Mongrelian barbecue after the last time I watched her sister.’
    Twilight sighs. ‘You have a point.’
    ‘Look who I found!’ Rei sings as she drags Rainbow Dash and her cloud and Tank to the park. The Wandering Physicist laughs. Twilight facehoofs. Trixie grimaces. ‘When I told her that Trixie was here to apologize, she just could not resist the opportunity to make peace.’
    ‘Hmm. Well. I guess that is a good thing,’ Trixie stutters. ‘Let me begin by saying...’
    ‘Can it, Trixie. I don’t want to hear no phony baloney fake apology from you,’ Rainbow Dash says from her cloud. Tank nods beside his master.
    ‘Dash, she really means it.’ Twilight says.
    ‘Not you too, Twilight. I thought you of all ponies would be too smart to fall for that.’
    ‘I knew this was a bad idea...’ Trixie sulks.
    ‘Whatevs. I’m out.’
    Rainbow Dash turns to fly away, but she is faced with the scariest thing she has seen in her life. Chrysalis, Discord, Nightmare Moon and Fluttershy’s Stare can not compare to a furious Rei. Electricity crackles around the small pegasus.
    ‘You will get down there, and you will listen to Trixie’s apology!’ Rei yells. ‘You will do so sincerely, and you will treat it with as much respect as if it came from one of your dearest friends! GOT IT!’
    All Rainbow Dash can do is ‘eep’ and nod to as the smaller pegasus forces her to the ground. The rest of the group watch in awe as Rainbow Dash is humbled.
    Twilight jabs The Wandering Physicist. ‘You taught her that, didn’t you?’

    That night, there is a small get-together at Twilight’s library. Applejack and Rarity have joined Twilight, Rei, Trixie and Rainbow Dash for an apology-and-gab session. Without much effort, thanks to Rainbow Dash’s still shattered nerves, Rei was able to convince the other two mares to listen to what Trixie had to say. After the fences were mended, the ladies stuck around to chat and get to know each other. Despite Trixie’s brash and arrogant exterior, they all found at least some small thing to relate to her about.
    Rarity examines Trixie’s cape. ‘I am simply in love with the stitching. So fine and intricate. And the subtle glow-in-the-dark thread accenting the stars. Perfection!’
    ‘Do go on,’ Trixie pauses. ‘I mean it. Continue.’
    ‘Ah don’ care fer all that froo-froo sewin’ stuff,’ Applejack starts, ‘but anypony who can handle all the roadside repair hassles y’all have t’ go through is okay in mah book.’
    Trixie sighs. ‘Being handy with a hammer is just one of the annoyances of not having a team of pegasi to pull your wagon for you, but good help is so hard to find these days.’
    ‘Enough talk about fashion and hardware!’ Rainbow Dash interrupts. ‘Did you really open for the Wonderbolts!’
    ‘Well, to be perfectly honest, we just performed at the same event several hours apart. But I assure you that The Great and Powerful Trixie had the audience perfectly warmed up for the main show.’
    ‘So awesome!’
    Rei gives big yawn and stretches from where she is laying.
    ‘Aw. Looks like the little one is plumb tuckered out.’ Applejack laughs.
    ‘About time,’ Twilight says. ‘She’s been flying around like crazy all day.’
    ‘You should just give her a ton of sugar and let her crash a hour later.’ Everypony looks at Rarity. ‘What? That is what I do when I have to look after Sweetie Belle and her friends. Beats having them cause even half of the trouble they normally do.’
    ‘So that’s why Applebloom’s dental bills are so high! Ah’ll be havin’ t’ talk t’ ya about that later.’
    Twilight nudges Rei. ‘Come on, Rei. Time for you to go home.’
    ‘But I don’t -- yawn -- na.’
    ‘I promised Mr Wanderer you would make it back at a good hour.’
    ‘Fine,’ Rei pouts. ‘But I didn’t get a chance to get a Trixie poster or something.’
    ‘Come by my wagon in the morning and I’ll make sure you get something extra special,’ Trixie offers.
    Rei nods and heads out the door. She stretches her wings and prepares to take off.
    ‘So... you want some cool Trixie merch, eh?’
    Rei spins around. ‘Who’s there!’
    Maxie steps out of the shadows. ‘As her cousin, I have the hookup that can’t be beat.’
    ‘Hmm.... You are the one you has a grudge against Wanderer-san... But he kicked your flank! So I guess you’re a push over.’
    Maxie snorts. ‘Well, hmm. If you don’t want the sweet deal...’
    ‘No, no! I want it. Gimme!’
    Maxie laughs. ‘Then just come with me.’

    The hangout at Twilight’s is turning into a sleepover, and she is setting up sleeping areas for her guests. Trixie insists that Twilight’s offer of a spare bed was more than gracious and accepts. Rarity’s rejection of sharing his bed has left Spike feeling upset. The others are spread around the free space in Twilight’s bedroom.
    ‘There we go,’ Twilight says as she lays out a makeshift bed for Applejack.
    ‘Thanks, sug’.’
    ‘I, for one, think this night has gone much more swimmingly than our last sleepover,’ Rarity states.
    ‘With the kid reinin’ in the fightin’ and no natural disaster outside, Ah’d have t’ agree.’
    ‘Whatevs. I still think I had the best scary story. Special effects shouldn’t count.’
    ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie is just a natural showmare. Me not having the best story would be like you not flying really fast.’
    ‘I guess...’
    Twilight’s mobile rings next to her bed, and she answers.
    ‘Hello? Oh hi, Mr Wanderer! ... No, Rei isn’t still here. She left hours ago. ... What do you mean, she still hasn’t returned? Hello?’
    The door to Twilight bedroom bursts open.
    ‘Search party, go!’ The Panicking Physicist commands. ‘You five, thanks for volunteering.’
    ‘Hold on! We agreed to no such thing!’ Rarity shoots back.
    ‘If Sweetie Belle disappeared mysteriously, would you just sit on your flank and do nothing?’
    Rarity thinks for a moment. ‘For the children!’
    ‘Ah’m all fer helpin’ y’all, but do we have any clue where t’ start lookin’?’
    ‘She did want to get some souvenirs from Trixie. Maybe she went to her wagon,’ Twilight suggests.
    ‘My wagon?’ Trixie ponders. Her eyes narrow. ‘Maxie.’

    The group is heading to the edge of town where Trixie parked her wagon. The Wandering Physicist has his sonic out and is scanning the area.
    ‘What is that thing and how can you stand the racket it makes?’ Trixie asks.
    ‘It is my sonic,’ The Wandering Physicist answers. He turns and holds it to Trixie’s face. ‘And don’t dis the sonic.’
    Trixie backs down.
    ‘So who’s this Maxie fella y’all are talkin’ about?’ Applejack asks.
    ‘He thinks he is my rival since I kicked his flank back at the festival,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.
    ‘So he’s the jerk ya sent home cryin’ like Twilight did t’...’ Trixie glares at Applejack. ‘Eh heh heh.’
    The Wandering Physicist growls to himself. ‘He’s back to get his revenge. If he has hurt Rei...’
    ‘He’s harmless for the most part,’ Trixie adds. ‘He is my idiot cousin. He practically begged me to come with him since he was scared of facing you alone. (Thank Luna that his daddy thought he was just being a child.) He thought I would want to fight Twilight again.’
    Rainbow Dash cuts Trixie off. ‘If you dare mess with Twilight...’
    ‘I’m not here for revenge, Miss Dash.’
    ‘Hmpf.’
    ‘Are we near the wagon yet? My coat is fashionable and worth showing off, but I am ready to go to bed now.’
    ‘I think it should be...’ Trixie looks around.
    ‘We passed where it was parked about thirty meters back,’ The Wandering Physicist answers. ‘I’ve been following where it has been pulled since then.’
    ‘Wait. Where have we been following it to?’ Twilight asks.
    The Wandering Physicist stops outside of a forest. ‘Here. This is where the trail ends.’
    ‘The Everfree Forest!’ everypony except The Wandering Physicist exclaim.
    ‘There appears to be three paths. I guess teams of two?’ The Wandering Physicist turns to see the mares standing back a bit. ‘Oh, what now?’
    ‘Mr Wanderer,’ Twilight starts, ‘The Everfree Forest is a pretty scary place in the daylight. At night...’
    ‘I have it on good authority that some of you here traversed this forest at night before. At Eternal Night.’
    The rest of the group still looks a little nervous about entering. Trixie notices something about the way Twilight is looking at The Wandering Physicist, then her crowd reading instincts kick in and a wicked plan is hatched.
    ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie is not afraid. I am at your side, Mr Wanderer.’
    ‘Shoot. If Trixie can grow a backbone, Ah can t’.’
    ‘We are all with you, dear. It is just a little unnerving.’
    ‘Yeah! We ain’t scared of nothing.’
    ‘Thanks.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to the forest. ‘Three paths, three groups. Since 3G is crap in there, thanks ET&T, we will have to use your magic to signal the groups.’
    ‘That sounds like a very good plan. I...’ Twilight starts.
    ‘I would like to go with Mr Wanderer, if that is okay,’ Trixie volunteers.
    ‘I am not sure that is a good idea...’ Twilight worries. ‘Neither of you have much experience in here.’
    ‘Well, between his sonic thingy and my knowledge of my cousin, we should do fine.’
    ‘I don’t...’
    ‘No worries, Twilight! I’ll have your back,’ Rainbow Dash boasts.
    ‘Hmm. I guess that leave us then,’ Rarity says to Applejack.
    ‘Heck, we’re not that bad o’ a pair when we try,’ Applejack assures.
    ‘Great. If you find the wagon, send up some magic flashy thing to let the rest of us know.’
    ‘Got it!’ All of the mages say at once. After a beat, ‘Jinx! Buy me a Coke!’ Trixie chimes in. She laughs proudly at herself as the other two glare.
    ‘Hmpf. Let’s just do this. Rei could be in trouble,’ Twilight huffs as she marches into the forest.

    Most ponies think that unicorns are the only ponies with magic. They would be wrong. Earth ponies and pegasi have magic powers too. For instance, Rainbow Dash can create rainbows when she flies and Fluttershy can talk to animals. Rei’s special magic was her ‘night cloak.’ No! ‘Night armor.’ No! ‘Moon Armor.’ Yeah! That sounds cool. Moon Armor. With her Moon Armor, Rei could remain hidden indefinitely at night despite being bright white.
    Currently, she is using this power to wait in ambush for that big meanie Maxie. He has her trapped in Trixie’s wagon (which is so cool!) and is taking her to some unknown location. Rei is also currently reading a book Trixie left hiding in a box under her bed for some reason. It was not as good quality as the comics in the hidden section of Kaeko’s shop or the games in Wanderer-san’s 18+ section, but it was entertaining nonetheless.
    ‘Oh please. Like that line would even work. Let alone get him that far,’ Rei scoffs. She makes a mental not to drop hints to Lucas or Stormy to try that line.
    The wagon comes to a stop with a sudden jerk. Rei drops from the ceiling, bounces off Trixie’s small bed and lands hard on the floor. Moon armor sucks at protecting against injury. The door to the wagon opens, and Meanie McJerkington looks in.
    Maxie looks at the book on the floor. ‘Aren’t you a little young for that stuff?’
    ‘Closest you’ll ever get.’ Rei gets up. ‘Why’d ya stop? Getting tired?’
    Rei aims and shoots for the door. She is instantly caught be Maxie’s magic.
    ‘Not in the least.’ Maxie retorts. He plucks several feathers from Rei’s wings. ‘There. That should be enough to make him worry.’
    Maxie scatters the feathers behind him. He seals the door behind him. The cart starts moving but not in a normal way.
    ‘Better hold on.’ Maxie says from outside. ‘This will get a little wild.’

    Twilight uses her magic to light and scan the forest while Rainbow Dash flies overhead. They have yet to see any sign of the wagon.
    ‘Gah! Why does that filly have to cause so much trouble!’ Twilight growls.
    ‘Come on, Twilight. We all had a wild streak when we were that age.’
    ‘That was only a few years ago for us, and I never had a wild streak!’
    ‘Really? Could have fooled me.’
    ‘What does that mean?’
    Rainbow Dash swoops down. ‘Ya know, I’m a wild one, but the quiet ones always do the wildest things. ... Except Fluttershy. She never does anything crazy, like fight a bear or something.’
    ‘Ugh. That is just a stereotype.’
    Rainbow Dash shrugs and flies back up. After a moment of silence, she speaks up again.
    ‘I am surprised you let your guy go with Trixie like that.’
    ‘First, he is not “my guy”. Second, what do you mean by that?’
    ‘You know she wants to get back at you, and you let them go off into the forest alone together. We all know the next fireworks she shoots off will be... well, you know.’
    Twilight blushes. ‘That, that would never happen. I-I-I mean, he is quite dense when it comes to that. Quite dense...’
    Rainbow Dash laughs. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’
    Twilight growls, then starts worrying about what Trixie could be up to.

    The Great and Powerful Trixie is getting tired of the search. She swears to make Maxie suffer for this annoyance. At least she was able to make Twilight jealous by spending some private time with her coltfriend. Too bad he is too focused to notice. Trixie sighs and looks over at her escort. The Shivering Physicist seems to be falling prey to this late fall weather.
    Trixie sighs again. ‘Here. Come closer. Take some of my cape.’
    The Freezing Physicist slows down, and Trixie levitates part of her cape over him to share some warmth.
    ‘Thanks, but hat...’ The brim of Trixie’s hat is poking him in the face.
    ‘Oh!’ Trixie levitates her hat on to his head as well. ‘You really should have brought a coat. The Great and Powerful Trixie’s cape is not designed for two ponies.’
    ‘When somepony you care about is potentially in danger, you don’t really stop to think about grabbing a coat.’
    ‘Right...’
    After a moment of silence, The Less-Cold Physicist breaks the ice.
    ‘Did any of the others have any funny stories about me?’
    ‘Excuse me?’
    ‘You were spending the night with several of my friends and none of our adventures came up? I must be losing my touch.’
    ‘They were more interested in their extra-special guest,’ Trixie gloats.
    ‘Well, it seems like your idiot cousin has a bit of a lead on us. Regale me.’

    If Rei could rate that book, it would be a ‘C’ or ‘C+’ at best. The plot was weak. The action was mediocre and barely accomplished the job it promised. The characters were well-developed and entertaining, though. She will definitely have to recommend some better reading once Trixie saves her. Squee! Trixie will save her! So awesome!
    Suddenly, the cart jolts to a stop again, once again dropping Rei from the ceiling. There is a high-pitched scream and then silence. The forest outside is eerily silent as well.
    ‘Mr Jerkface? Did you perhaps die or something equally gruesome?’ Rei calls.
    There is no response. Rei actually gets a little scared. She creeps to a nearby window and peeks out. A strange shape passes by the window.
    ‘Evil bird! Tricky bird! Evil tricky bird!’ Rei sheiks.
    Rei scrambles back across the wagon. She slams into the opposite wall. The wagon starts rocking back and forth then it starts rolling again. Rei gives a small ‘eep’ and tries hiding somewhere safe.

    The Wandering Physicist and Trixie are making their way together down their path. They are laughing at Trixie’s stories.
    ‘...and then, when he realized he wasn’t really a dog, let’s just say he found the exit very quickly.’
    The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Must have been a fun night.’
    ‘Some are...’ Trixie looks down.
    ‘Traveling town to town is hard.’
    ‘Hmpf. What would you know?’
    ‘And the first part of my name is?’
    ‘Right...’ Trixie pauses. ‘Do you ever miss wandering? Seeing new places?’
    The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘I still travel a lot. Seeing lots of places. I am glad I found a place to come back to. Very glad.’
    Trixie looks at The Wandering Physicist then back away. ‘I don’t think I could ever find a place to just settle down.’
    ‘You just have to find somewhere or somepony that makes you very happy. Then it all becomes just a little clearer.’
    ‘For now, I am happy right here.’ Trixie leans into The Wandering Physicist.
    The Wandering Physicist looks down at Trixie suspiciously. Suddenly, a purple flash streaks into the air and bursts.
    ‘That was Rarity! Come on!’ The Wandering Physicist takes off running.
    ‘But...’ Trixie seems disappointed, but she sighs and gives chase.

    Trixie is the last to catch up with the rest of the group. The Wandering Physicist is running all over the path scanning with his sonic. The others are searching for clues as well, with Rainbow Dash serving as their eyes in the sky. Twilight levitates Trixie’s hat back to her.
    ‘Here. I didn’t want it to get dirty with him running around like this.’
    ‘Thank you. I am glad he didn’t run off with my cape as well.’
    Rainbow Dash is instantly back on the ground. ‘What was he doing in your cape?’ She nudges Twilight.
    ‘Do you see a jacket on him? I couldn’t let him freeze so I was sharing it with him.’
    ‘Sharing it with him how?’ Rainbow Dash prods.
    ‘If you are implying The Great and Powerful Trixie was doing something unseemly, just go out and say it.’
    Rarity comes over. ‘Just ignore Rainbow Dash, dear. She gets that way anytime we ladies spend more than ten seconds alone with a gentlepony. I never hear the end of it when all of the young stallions need suits for prom season.’
    ‘Bow chicka bow wow!’ Rainbow Dash taunts.
    ‘Shoot. She didn’ even know the birds and the bees ‘til recently,’ Applejack adds.
    ‘What! That’s not true! Who told you!’
    All of the mares laugh at Rainbow Dash’s reaction. The Wandering Physicist starts climbing off the path.
    ‘This way.’
    ‘Mr Wanderer, wait.’ Twilight says. ‘Are you sure?’
    ‘There are some residual magic energies heading in this direction. I think he hurt Rei just as a diversion. ... A pointless diversion...’
    Twilight teleports in front of The Wandering Physicist. ‘Mr Wanderer, calm down. It was only a few feathers. It is not like he really injured her permanently. She’ll be fine when we find her.’
    ‘If anything, he is just trying to get under your skin,’ Trixie adds. ‘He wouldn’t do any real harm to her... maybe.’
    ‘Still... If anything happens to her...’
    ‘May I be so bold to ask why you are getting so upset?’ Rarity asks. ‘I know I would face the fiercest dragon for my sister, but you look like you are ready to burn the forest to the ground just for a tiny hint to her whereabouts.’
    ‘It’s... complicated,’ The Wandering Physicist says before running off into the forest.
    ‘Wait up!’ Twilight gives chase.
    The rest of the group watches them leave then slowly follow.
    ‘Y’all ain’t never seen ‘im get real upset before, have ya?’ Rarity shakes her head. ‘Let’s jus’ say that when he is mad ‘bout somethin’ done t’ one o’ his friends, even the princesses themselves ain’t safe.’
    ‘Yeah. It is real scary.’ Rainbow Dash adds. ‘Celestia help anypony who does something to harm Twilight. I doubt he would even give them an option of mercy.’
    The group shudders at the thought of what would happen in that scenario. The thought just adds to the fears generated by the forest.

    Trixie’s wagon is laying on its side after an unceremonious conclusion to its wild ride. The wagon itself is in good shape, but the contents are scattered about. Rei is laying on a pile of Trixie’s souvenir robes, wands and posters. She shrieks again when she notices something very much not a wand near her head. This time, Rei’s path of retreat takes her through the sideways door and into a tree. In the epic battle between tree and skull, tree wins and unconsciousness is Rei’s prize. This game sucks.

    With The Wandering Physicist in the lead, the dangerous creatures in the forest know not to interfere with the group. The group is stepping relatively lightly as they look for any hint to the wagon’s location.
    ‘Uh, James, are ya sure this is the right direction?’ Applejack asks.
    ‘Positive.’
    ‘How can y’all be sure? We ain’t seen no sign of anything since you started this direction.’
    ‘Watch your step.’
    Applejack shouts as she trips over something and land face first in the mud. She screams again as the object she tripped over is revealed to be the stone body of Maxie.
    ‘Well, I always suspected he was a stoner,’ Trixie quips. After getting groans: ‘What? That was funny.’
    ‘Okay. We have a cockatrice in the area,’ Twilight warns. ‘This is definitely not good.’
    ‘Is there a way to un, uh, unstone him?’ Rarity asks.
    ‘I should be able to find a spell or some cure in my library,’ Twilight answers. ‘But we would have to get him there first.’
    ‘So unlessen we find that wagon, Rarity will be the one hauling ‘im outa here.’
    ‘And what makes you assume I will be the one doing the heavy lifting?’
    ‘Well, ya were able t’ carry Tom ‘round purdy well,’ Applejack laughs.
    ‘Never. Mention. That name. Again.’
    ‘Ex-coltfriend, I assume,’ Trixie says.
    ‘Somethin’ like that,’ Applejack laughs.
    Rarity growls at her friend.
    ‘I think I found the wagon...’ The Wandering Physicist says looking down a small cliff.
    Before the others can come over, The Daredevil Physicist jumps onto the slope and slides down. The others come over and look down the steep slope.
    ‘Wait up!’ Rainbow Dash shouts and shoots down the cliff.
    ‘Well! Let’s get climbin’!’ Applejack pulls a rope out of her pack and starts affixing it to a tree.
    ‘Applejack, do you carry rope with you everywhere?’ Twilight asks as she lifts off.
    ‘Why? Is that a problem?’
    The friends just groan and start climbing down. Twilight flies down the cliff. Rarity hangs back a little.
    ‘Applejack... I am asking for friend, but do they make that sort of concealable rope in a nylon or some other nonabrasive material?’
    Applejack gives Rarity a questioning look. Rarity backs away and starts climbing down after their friends.

    At the bottom of the cliff, The Investigating Physicist is climbing over the wagon. There is no sign of Rei in the area. Twilight is examining some tracks around the wagon. Applejack reaches the bottom of the cliff and pulls the rope. It quickly slides down the cliff and recoils itself.
    ‘Ha! Pony vs Wild ain’t got nothin’ on me.’
    ‘Would you mind lending us some of that rope to get this upright again?’ Trixie asks.
    ‘No prob, sug’. Just give me a sec.’
    Applejack, Trixie, and Rainbow Dash start rigging the wagon. Both The Wandering Detective and Twilight look up from their investigations. Somehow, Twilight is wearing a deerstalker hat.
    ‘Upon closer inspection, I am certain these are not manticore tracks.’
    ‘No blood... and a massive dent in that tree.’
    ‘What does that mean, Mr Wanderer?’
    ‘That somepony has a much thicker skull than I gave her credit for.’
    ‘Really? You gave her far too little credit.’ There is a bit of a long pause. ‘Couldn’t you have just...’
    ‘I am at the bottom of a pit in the middle of the night with no coat. As soon as I get back, I am going to travel back in time to tell me to use my magic powers to solve this. I don’t care that causality will get ripped a new one. I am freezing!’
    The loud crash of a wagon coming upright interrupts the investigation. Trixie is quickly inside to survey the damage. The others peek their heads in as well.
    ‘Dear me. Just give me five minutes and I’ll have this looking better than new again,’ Rarity offers.
    ‘Just getting it out of this ravine would be enough to make me happy.’
    Rainbow Dash spots something that causes her to giggle. She points it out to Applejack who starts giggling too.
    ‘Ah guess it gets lonely out on the road.’
    Trixie slams the door. ‘That is none of your business! Begone!’
    Applejack and Rainbow Dash run off snickering. Rarity goes over to Trixie.
    ‘Never mind those two. They have absolutely no class.’
    ‘Trixie heartily agrees.’
    ‘Speaking for a friend... What model is that and does it come in other sizes?’
    Trixie growls and starts chasing the other three while shooting magic bolts at them. Twilight holds up a small scale.
    ‘What is this?’
    The Shivering Physicist, now in a deerstalker hat, looks it over. ‘Elementary, Twilight. A clue.’
    ‘I know that, but...’ Twilight looks around, but The Freezing Physicist is over by Trixie’s wagon.
    ‘Trixie, I am just going to borrow a blanket for a....’ He slams the door and walks away. ‘Never mind.’

    This game is getting worse. First, that tree got a lucky shot in on her. Then something very pointy dragged her for a while which was fun except for all of the mud. Now, she is all wet and something smells like wet pony. Rei wishes she was just kidnapped again.
    ‘This sucks,’ Rei moans.
    ‘I’m sorry, deary, but this is the only way to get you cleaned up after that dreadful crash and the gruesome beast,’ a strange voice says.
    Rei opens her eyes to see a large purple river dragon. She screams, takes off and a second tree gets a cheap shot on her. The river dragon sighs and tends to Rei.
    ‘Oh dear. Not again.’

    A gout of flame chases three ponies across a river embankment. They scream in terror as a large red lizard chases them.
    ‘A salamander! Really! What is wrong with this forest!’ Twilight yells.
    ‘Too warm! Too, too warm!’ The Roasting Physicist cries.
    ‘Why didn’t I stay with my wagon!’ Trixie shouts.
    ‘Never fear! Dash is here!’ Rainbow Dash calls from above. ‘Hiya!’
    Rainbow Dash shoots down from the sky doing a drop kick maneuver. The salamander turns and shoots fire at her. She passes straight through and right into the river. Smoke rises from her mane when she surfaces. She swims to shore to catch her breath. The three grounded ponies take cover behind a boulder.
    ‘Please tell me you know some anti-fire spell,’ Trixie asks Twilight.
    ‘Gee. I left it in my other robe and wizard hat,’ Twilight shoots back.
    Trixie smirks. Twilight blushes when she realizes what she accidentally implied. A gout of flame bursts around the boulder.
    ‘Fire bad!’ The Burning Physicist notes.
    The mares look at the stallion and sigh.
    ‘If you can distract it, I’ll cool it off.’ Twilight says to Trixie.
    ‘Distractions are my thing.’ Trixie replies.
    Trixie starts readying a spell and steps out from cover. The salamander roars at her.
    ‘You dare challenge The Great and Powerful Trixie and her animal familiar?’
    A louder roar is heard. Behind Trixie, a spectral bear steps forward. Its coat looks like the night sky, and it stands taller than all of the trees on the riverbank. The salamander backs off as the ursa minor approaches.
    ‘An ursa! Watch out, Trixie!’
    ‘Wait! No!’
    Rainbow Dash flies forward and passes right through the ursa. As she tries to figure out what happened, she crashes right into a tree. The salamander turns on the defenseless unicorn before it. It starts readying another gout of fire. Trixie is tackled into the river as the fire shoots forth. Twilight comes from behind the rock and casts a spell that wraps the salamander’s maw in ice. She then uses her telekinesis to throw the salamander into the river. The Soaking Physicist helps Trixie to shore. She growls as she uses her telekinesis to wring out her hat and cape.
    ‘Thanks. I really wanted a moonlight dip,’ Trixie scowls.
    ‘Better soaking then cooking,’ The Dripping Physicist replies. He is visibly shaking from the water and cold.
    Trixie sighs and puts her cape over The Hypothermic Physicist. ‘Here. It is not much, but it is better than nothing.’
    Twilight tends to Rainbow Dash. ‘I hope we find Rei soon before he kills himself.’
    The Wandering Physicist shivers, sneezes and falls over. ‘I’m fine. I don’t have a fever at all.’
    Without warning, the salamander bursts from the river. The ice shatters from its maw as it readies yet more fire. Suddenly, the water turns frothy, and the salamander is thrown deep into the forest by a powerful tail flap. The purple river dragon comes out of the water and approaches the group.
    ‘Steven!’ Twilight calls.
    ‘Twilight Sparkle! So good to see you again,’ Steven calls back.
    ‘You know him?!’ Trixie exclaims.
    ‘He helped us in our journey to unite the Elements of Harmony the first time,’ Twilight explains.
    ‘Is the lovely Miss Rarity with you?’ Steven asks.
    ‘Well, she was a while back, but we had to split up.’
    ‘Oh drat. Then I guess you are here for that little filly who came by earlier.’
    ‘Y-y-you’ve seen her?’ The Frozen Physicist asks.
    ‘Why yes! She is resting right now with a nasty bump to the head. I had to save her from that beasty, too.’
    Twilight facehoofs. ‘Sounds like her.’
    ‘I can take you to her right now if you want,’ Steven offers.
    ‘That would be great! He is freezing. We have been out all night, and I still have to cure an idiot who went up against a cockatrice.’
    ‘Oh dear stars! Sounds like you have a busy night. Hurry and come with me and I’ll have you on your way in no time.’
    Steven picks up The Wandering Physicist and motions to the others to follow. Rainbow Dash comes to from her stunt.
    ‘Did I win?’

    At the edge of the Everfree Forest, Steven is waving goodbye to his pony friends. The group has reunited and have Rei with them. The Wandering Physicist has been placed in Trixie’s wagon and wrapped in blankets. Rei is sleeping in the wagon with her alternate-universe father. Rainbow Dash is sleeping on top of the wagon. Maxie is strapped to the back of the wagon.
    ‘If you ever need help again, don’t be afraid to ask,’ Steven calls back.
    ‘We will! Thanks again!’ Twilight waves.
    ‘Wow. This adventure will make for a good story for my act,’ Trixie comments.
    ‘Yes, because that is more important than helping your friends,’ Rainbow Dash groans.
    ‘Oh. And that too.’
    ‘Ah, for one, am jus’ glad t’ have everyone safe and sound. ... Except stone boy over there.’
    ‘I’ll find a way to free him in the morning,’ Twilight says. ‘Oh! Unless you want me to free him now.’ She adds for Trixie.
    ‘Let him wait. It would be good punishment.’
    ‘Do we even have to free him?’ is asked from the wagon. ‘Discord could use a pet.’
    ‘Just go to sleep. You need rest,’ Twilight calls back. She sighs. ‘How long ago were we about to go to bed?’
    ‘Ah think we are all gonna need a day off after t’night.’
    The four awake mares all moan in agreement.

    Noontime. Outside the library, Trixie is saying her goodbyes to her new friends. Maxie is holding back since he is strapped to Trixie’s wagon. Rei is doing excited loops all over town to show off her new, signed and officially licensed Great and Powerful Trixie cape and hat. Trixie shakes hooves with all of her friends.
    ‘I am truly sorry for all of the trouble we caused,’ Trixie apologizes.
    ‘Shoot. Ah had fun. Even the forest part.’
    ‘Indeed. It was quite an adventure.’
    ‘Yeah. That was a lot of trouble,’ Rainbow Dash says. Her friends glare at her. ‘What? It was.’
    ‘Anyway. It was nice getting to know you,’ Twilight says to Trixie.
    ‘Likewise,’ Trixie replies. ‘And I think found a good reason to come back to visit again.’
    Trixie goes over and kisses The Still-Half-Asleep Physicist on the cheek. Most of the others are surprised. Rainbow Dash laughs.
    ‘Ha! Told ya! Five bits,’ she says, extending a hoof to Twilight.
    ‘If you are trying to do what I think you are doing, it is not going to work,’ The Wandering Physicist states.
    Trixie blushes. ‘For a time, that was a thought. I admit it. But, I believe I found somepony else who truly understands the hardships of being on your own for long periods of time.’ She winks and spins around. ‘Trixie will be in touch.’
    Trixie boards her wagon and gives it a tap. It starts moving away slowly.
    ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie bids you adieu!’
    Several fireworks go off around the wagon and ends in a large flash of smoke. The wagon is not a lot further away than Trixie expects.
    ‘Hey! Hurry up, idiot!’ She shouts to the front of the wagon.
    ‘But you are so heavy!’
    A white lightning bolt drops from the sky and kicks Maxie in the head.
    ‘Don’t you dare speak ill of The Great and Powerful Trixie!’ Rei commands.
    ‘I’m sorry.’
    Maxie picks himself up and continues down the path. The adults just sigh at Rei’s action.