//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Lyle the Stoner! // Story: Maybe Ponies aren't so bad... // by TheDawsonator1 //------------------------------// Lyle had just woken up to find something odd, he was back in his apartment, lying on his bed quite comfortably. A clear blue sky was above Lyle as well as a very bright sun giving it’s light. Lyle lay confused, was it all a dream? Was he dreaming that he met a purple nerdy Unicorn in a magical land named Equestria? No Cyan Pegasus with a huge Ego? No honest farmer? The kind but shy Pegasus was just imagination? No Party-crazy pony that would pull a surprise party out of nowhere and was quite random beyond belief? Not a fashion-obsessed drama queen at all? It was one weird dream though, it seemed quite real and honestly would make a decent TV show out of it or something. But Lyle just went outside when the strangest thing had happened: The whole place was suddenly white. This made no sense at all, the sky disappeared and the place was all white and dull, this wasn’t the Earth and it sure as hell wasn’t Equestria, then where was he? “Hello! Anybody? Guy stuck in random white space that could use some help?” Lyle called out, to his annoyance nobody came, “ANYONE!! I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE!! Urgh this is pointless” Lyle sighed, kicking thin air. … Twilight Sparkle had heard the screams if three fillies running to her door and banging on it, Twilight had wondered what the Crusaders have done this time as she opened the door. “TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! THE HUMAN HE-“ The Crusaders yelled at the same time. “Okay, slow down! One at a time, deep breathes.” Twilight advised the trio. “Well we got lost in the Everfree Forest-“ Scootaloo started “Then this tall Hoo-man thingy found us and said Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking for us and he was helping them find us” Sweetie Belle interrupted “And then the Cockatrice came outta nowhere” Applebloom added” “Cockatrice? Then what happened? Did it chase you here?” asked Twilight “It…turned the Hoo-man to stone and we kinda ran to get you” Scootaloo explained reluctantly. “Lyle! Thank you for telling me this, I need to go get the girls, you three need to head back to your houses at once until this is over” Twilight ordered the fillies. “Aw, why can’t we join?” Sweetie Belle complained. “It’s too dangerous” Twilight said as she rushed out the door The Crusaders were left behind as Twilight left to gather the girls and find their missing human. … ‘I have wandered here for hours I think, where am I?’ Lyle thought as he caught his breath from all the running. It was true, Lyle had wandered the white place for a long time seemingly, but nothing came up except white, that’s all this place seemed to be filled of: White, white and more white. However, something was finally sighted in the distance, a strange checkerboard ground was starting to appear and random pink clouds were also present. There was a throne and a strange creature with different kind of limbs seemed to be occupying it, before Lyle could get a word out, the creature turned around. “Why hello there Lyle” the creature greeted Lyle. “How do you know my name?” Lyle asked instinctively “When you are a god of Chaos, you tend to know a lot of things that even Celestia herself wouldn’t know” the creature replied as though it were common knowledge “So you know my name, but what is yours and what are you?” asked Lyle “I am Discord and I am a Draconequus thank you very much” said Discord, who seemed to be a tad bothered by Lyle's ignorance. “Okay, next question, where are we?” Lyle asked his next question “In stone” Discord replied simply, when Lyle looked confused he started to explain, “This white area we’re in is basically a zone that can only be accessed by those trapped in stone such as myself and of course, you as well. Now luckily, we can imagine certain objects and they’ll appear, oh and I wouldn’t bother imagining a way out as you can only be freed from an outside source.” “Damn it!" Lyle cursed before continuing, "Well that sucks, guess I’ll have to wait for those Crusaders to get the others and get me out of here, assuming they're coming” Lyle kicked the air in frustration Lyle looked around and imagined himself a chair and sat down, it was actually quite comfortable but still, this place was boring already! “So how did you end up here Discord?” Lyle asked out of the blue (or white in this case) “Oh, I did bad things and Twilight and her little friends sealed me in stone with their magical Elements of Harmony necklaces” Discord said simply “I see, what bad things did you do?” asked Lyle “Well, let’s just say I flipped houses, made soap ground, and even shortened the day and night cycle, while quite fun it turns out ponies don’t have that view, well except for Pinkie Pie who loves my chocolate rain I make” Discord said so casually, it made Lyle think he’d done it forever. “Sounds like fun, maybe except the whole screwing with Day and Night cycle thing but hey, at least you don’t have to pay for overpriced Chocolate milk” Lyle joked, laughing at his own wit. “It is fun but ponies just don’t see the humor, they’re so BORING! I would rather read every book in Twilight Sparkle's library then try to humor them. “Meh, I’m sure it can’t be that bad! This stone thing however is kinda boring” Lyle said reasonably “1000 years is a very long time to be stuck in stone and then when you finally get out, boom you’re stuck here again, it drives me quite insane hahahaha!” said Discord, giving a slight look of insanity while Lyle sort of looked concerned. … “So what’s the emergency this time Twilight?” asked Pinkie “Is it Lyle again? If he attacked you again, I will show that ruffian a thing or two” Rarity asked looking a bit tough while she spoke. “Lyle hasn’t done anything, more like what happened to him” said Twilight in a cryptic manner. “Well what y’all waiting for? Spit it out!” An impatient Applejack said. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders have been found by Lyle but he got turned to stone by a Cockatrice” Twilight explained “Serves him right” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath “That’s enough Rainbow Dash, I know full well some of us may not like him, myself included, but nopony should remain in stone unless for good reason such as Discord himself” Twilight replied to Dash’s muttering … “ACHOO!!” Discord sneezed “Bless you” Lyle said kindly. “Sorry about that, I just had that strange feeling when somepony talks about you” Discord said while blowing his nose. “it’s okay” Lyle just shrugged “Wanna watch a movie?” Discord offered “Wait…we can watch movies here?” Lyle asked curiously “With my power we can with just a snap of a finger” Discord said, snapping his fingers to make a living room like setting “FUCK YEAH! I’M IN!!!” Lyle yelled excitedly …. Twilight and friends had been at it in the Everfree Forest for quite a while now, no sign of Lyle’s stone from could be seen anywhere, nightfall was coming down as the last lights of Celestia’s sun were disappearing into the horizon and is being replaced by Luna’s moon. Being in the Everfree Forest is highly dangerous as the monsters are more often and more powerful during the night, thankfully though, Lyle’s statue was coming into plain sight now. It won’t be long before Lyle is free, just a good half an hour should do… …. Lyle and Discord had finished watching a Harry Potter marathon (time does go a bit differently inside of stone), the pair had got up and stretched. “Oh my lord, that was a long ass marathon” Lyle said stretching his legs “Yep, the part where Hermione punches Malfoy in the face will always have a special place in my heart, always hated that guy” Discord replied “Oh he wasn’t that bad, sure he was a dick but he’s kind of that guy you love to hate in a good way” Lyle said reasonably "Whatever" Discord said "And what about the last movie?" Lyle asks Discord, "I loved that movie but they made Harry break the Elder wand, I always hated how they did that! “Perhaps…” Discord tried to continue their discussion, but something happened. Suddenly, Lyle started to disappear, bit by bit at a rapid pace and Discord knew he was about to be free, whereas Lyle did not as he started noticing parts of his body disappearing. “What’s happening?” Lyle asked in a panic “You’re being freed Lyle” Discord explained “What about you? I don’t want to leave you here!” Lyle asked “Oh Don’t worry about me, and besides we can still talk through telepathy thanks to my chaotic powers” Discord said simply. “One last thing quickly, is this all a Dream or in my head? Or was all of this real?” asked Lyle. Discord then responded, “Of course it’s in your head dear boy, but why on earth should it not be real” “Did you just quote Dumbledore? WE ARE SO BEST FRIEN-!” Lyle said, amazed before disappearing Discord looked at the spot where Lyle was before before muttering, "I'm so lonely" … Lyle’s vision was stony, his senses came back one by one as he felt quite stiff and a bad taste came to his tounge and he could see cracks forming until finally it burst open and Lyle was able to move again. “LYLE IS BACK BABY!!!” Lyle announced quite loudly giving a stretch of his muscles “Thank goodness you’re alright” Rarity said from behind. “Thanks I suppose, it’s bloody insane in there!” Lyle said catching a couple of breaths. Silence came for just a moment before Twilight started talking. “Oh, that counts as a point by the way” Twilight said casually to Lyle with a smile on her face. “We’re even but not for very long as the kid gloves will come off” Lyle replied to his rival. “Think what you will” Twilight responded calmly. "I don't think, I know" Lyle replied smoothly. "Smart-flank" Twilight muttered. Lyle shrugged and looked around, “Where is that Rainbow-maned Pegasus? I need to tie her wings up and drop her at terminal velocity from very high up” "I don't know, she was here a minute ago" Pinkie spoke, looking around for her friend. Little did Lyle know that a certain Pegasus was edging further away from Lyle as he spoke…