//------------------------------// // 4. Interview // Story: The Rock Farmer's Daughters // by Sketcha-Holic //------------------------------// Having taken the colt inside the house, Igneous was concealing his surprise of somebody just waltzing onto the farm and asking for a job. Not many ponies came out here that often; after all, who would want to work on a rock farm? Only the desperate would crawl all the way out here begging to be employed. He could still remember the last pony who did that, and the complaining she did that had caused him such a migraine. He did not care one whit for her ruined reputation; he and his family just wanted her to work. Igneous scanned the other stallion’s build. He could see that hardly any muscle was built on the legs; it was just enough that the fellow was still standing and could walk. He took a quick look at the Cutie Mark, and the hoofprints adorning that flank told him that this was most likely a drifter. It was peculiar to see one with glasses, though he couldn’t blame him for having poor eyesight. Igneous led the visitor into the kitchen and sat down at the table. With a stony gaze, he ordered, “Sit.” When the other had done so, Igneous asked, “All right. What’s your name?” “…it… it’s Cheese Sandwich.” Igneous raised an eyebrow. “That’s a strange name.” “…I know.” “Hm. Well, let’s get this over with. Why are you asking to be hired?” “Well…” Cheese forced himself to look Igneous in the eyes. He tapped the table with his hoof as he thought, sweat starting to form on his forehead. He took a deep breath, and answered, “It was a recommendation.” “Really? From who?” “The… candy shop owners?” “Candy shop owners? I hardly know ‘em.” “Oh… it’s just… that… well, they weren’t hiring…” “Huh. And I assume everypony else in Nickerlite had no need for any extra hooves, correct?” “Uh, yes.” “Hmph. This place is always the last resort for employment,” Igneous muttered, mostly to himself. He took a deep breath and continued, “Are you absolutely sure you want to work here?” Cheese pulled at his poncho’s neck hole and asked, “Well… what do you require?” “Well, preferably a pony with ample strength and who doesn’t mind getting dirty, considering the nature of this job. But, honestly, I hire ponies who are desperate. As a drifter, as that Cutie Mark of yours implies, the dirt shouldn’t be a problem. I am concerned about those bones with sleeves you stand on, though. Have you ever done any heavy lifting?” Cheese shook his head. “No? Hm, then tell me what job experience you have.” “Oh, boy… okay, just give me a sec…” Cheese leaned back and tapped his chin. Igneous stared at him as the younger stallion racked his brains for the needed information. The kitchen was quiet, save for Cheese’s mild humming. Cheese looked at Igneous again and answered, “Okay, I’ve worked as a delivery boy, at some orchards, at a bakery, at some restaurants, at a post office, and a music store…” Cheese smiled fondly upon saying that last one. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of jobs…” “Hm, some restaurants? So, you can cook?” “Well, I’ve cooked myself beans for years… but don’t let me bake! I might poison your family!” Cheese’s pupils shrunk to pinpoints, and he covered his mouth. “Well, I won’t, thanks to your little ‘poison’ comment,” Igneous said. “I’m going to guess that your time at that bakery was brief.” Cheese covered his eyes, and mumbled, “Sorry, sorry, sorry…” “Quit apologizing. I’ve had my daughters working since they were fillies, and I’ve hired pegasi and unicorns in the past, so you might have a chance.” Cheese raised his head and asked, “Well, how? You said so yourself, my legs are bones with sleeves! I can’t lift or break a boulder!” “I don’t expect you to do those things. I’d start you off small, like moving the smaller rocks to another field, and sorting them through whether they’d have any valuable minerals, or just be good for the souvenir shop. And maybe I’d teach you how to use a pickaxe.” “Well, yeah, I can do that, I guess. I have sorted mail…” Cheese mumbled. He shot an odd look at Igneous and asked, “What’s the catch?” Igneous got out of his chair and walked to the window. Drawing the curtains open, he pointed outside and asked, “What do you see out there?” Cheese got out of his chair and looked out. Blinking, he answered, “Rocks… rocks… rocks… your family moving those rocks… that pink one loading something from that hole into the cart…” Igneous held a stony expression as Cheese answered. He listened for anything in Cheese’s voice that sounded remotely suggestive, and watched his gaze to see where his eyes were. So far, there seemed to be nothing that he could pick up. Once Cheese had finished talking, Igneous said, “So… you’re here to earn money, right?” Cheese looked at him quizzically and answered, “Right?” “And not because somepony told you about the Pie mares?” “I, uh, huh-da-wha?” Cheese glanced back and forth, blush appearing on his cheeks. “Uh, Mister, are you saying—” “I don’t hire stallions very often, and I’m pretty sure you can guess why. I’m only thinking of hiring you because I pity you and want to put some kind of muscle in those sticks you call legs. However, most travelers I’ve met have bragged about all the lovers they’ve had, keeping some kind of score on how many hearts they’ve broken. I don’t want any of my daughters to fall prey to those wolves.” Cheese’s face was completely red at that point. “Sir, I don’t think I’m all that attractive…” “Don’t give me any manure about how you are ‘not that kind of stallion’! If anything, that phrase is suspicious.” Igneous took a sharp breath through his nose and said, “You asked what the catch is. The catch is that you don’t ogle any of my daughters, nor do you try to woo them. I’m already having problems with one stallion in town having eyes for one of them… I don’t need another. Under those terms will I hire you. Understand?” Cheese was down on his haunches, cowering under the older pony. He could only nod in response. “Good. You’ll be their temporary brother.” Igneous walked around Cheese and into the living room. Cheese sat there, blinking in astonishment. “Uh, are you saying I’m hired?” “Like I said, I pity you.” “Um, yay?” “Stand up. I’m getting my wife so we can discuss your pay and living arrangements.” Cheese scrambled to his hooves and followed him. He was pointed to the couch, with the implication that he should wait there. So, he sat there, alone, for however long it would take for Igneous to return. Pinkamena had gotten the last of the bones into the cart when she noticed her father walk out of the house. She leaned against the cart, watching as he fetched her mother, and they went back into the house. She groaned, the implications sinking in. Maud was in the middle of sweeping some rocks into a pile with her tail when she heard the groan. Looking up with her usual dull stare, she asked, “What is it?” “I think Pa pitied that colt.” “So?” “So he’s going to be working with us. Pa wouldn’t grab Ma if he didn’t hire that walking stick. Ugh, it’s going to be Trixie all over again, isn’t it? Or worse, since this is a stallion we’re talking about.” Maud blinked, and said, “Don’t make such a big deal about it.” Pinkamena sighed. “You know Pa rarely hires stallions.” “I know.” “Well, considering Cortland breathes down my neck every time I visit town, I can see his reasoning.” “Don’t worry. I’m sure Pa scared our new employee.” “Well, I’ll make sure to scare him even more if he tries anything funny.” Maud stared for a moment before muttering, “Okay.” Pinkamena looked at the bones in the cart. “I still wonder if a murder happened here.”