Sweetie Secrets
Chapter 1
Shock would be too gentle a word to describe what I was feeling. It was as if somepony had just told me that one plus one really equaled five. My whole world was shattered lying in pieces at my hooves. I was handling it just about as well as you’d expect. The worst part is that I couldn’t talk about it with anypony because I’d promised not to and like Twilight says, “Losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend-“
“FOREVER!”
I was so scared I almost wet myself. “Pinkie!” I tried to sound angry, but my voice broke halfway through and it came out more cute than cranky. “What was that for?! Why are you even here?”
Pinkie was standing in a bush on the path I take to get to school. She just smiled at me as she hopped out of her hiding place. “I have no idea. I just got the combo that means I need to jump out and shout ‘Forever!’ at some pony.”
Yep, that’s Pinkie Pie. On a normal day, or at least as normal a day as we ever get in Ponyville, this’d be no big deal but today was anything but a normal day.
“So how are you on this absolutely splendorifous day? Are you going to school, or are you on your way to fight an eldritch horror that’ll engulf the land in a thousand years of darkness, or maybe you’ve found out a deep dark secret that’s so big it’ll change the world as we know it and you know what that means. I’ll have to throw a big ‘Changed the world as we know it’ party. Again!”
She brought a hoof to her chin and looked like she was thinking about something. “Actually, it seems like I’ve been throwing a lot of those lately.”
I tried not to panic. There was no way she knew right? Right!? “Ha, ha, wow Pinkie you’re so random! Where’d you get an idea like that? No deep dark world bending secrets here. Ha, ha, no way, not me. Just on my way to school because I definitely didn’t find out something I was never supposed to know about and could scar me for life.” I was getting more frantic the more I talked so I forced myself to just shut up and try to look as innocent as possible which I didn’t think was working because Pinkie Pie was looking at me the same way my Mom does when she knows I’m lying but just like that she was all happy and hyper again.
“Okie, Dokie, Loki.” She said and just bounced off. I sat down and let out a sigh of relief. It was going to be a long day.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Sweetie Bell? You ok?”
“Yeah Sweets you’re kinda freakin’ me out.”
They knew. They all knew I was hiding something. It burned in my stomach and I didn’t know how much more I could take before I cracked. I had to get out of here. I raised my hoof to get Miss Cheerilees attention.
“Yes Sweetie Bell?”
“Can I be excused? I need to use the little fillies’ room.”
I could feel her eyes boring into my soul seeking out the dark truths I dared to hide. “Of course, just don’t take too long.”
Yes! I fooled her now if I could just make it out the door. Freedom was within reach when…
“Miss Cheerilee? I need to go too.”
“Yeah me too. What she said.”
Miss Cheerilee narrowed her eyes. “Ok, Apple Bloom you can go but you’ll have to wait your turn, Scootaloo.”
“Dang it.”
“Thanks, Miss Cheerilee.”
Keep it together Sweetie. You can do this. Deep Breaths.
“Hey Sweetie.”
I let out a little shriek.
“Wow, you’re jumpier than a frog in a pickle barrel. What’s goin on?”
She was on to me. I had to throw her off the scent. “Nothing. Nothing’s going on. Everything’s just great. No problems here.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Riiight…well if you need any help with anything you know I’m always here to help.”
My left eye seemed to have developed some sort of twitch. “Great, ok… so uh… I’ll see you later.”
I bolted for the bathroom and slammed the door giving time to figure this out. No pony but me and Rarity knew about what happened this morning and if anypony else knew they’d have already come for me. Unless they were on their way. Or they were going to use what they knew to blackmail me for the rest of my life. Or…
No. I wasn’t going to freak out again. Everything was fine. I had to keep it together otherwise… I didn’t want to think about what would happen if somepony else found out. I just had to make it through today. And tomorrow. And every day after that. I could do that. Right?
By the time I got back to class it was already recess but Miss Cheerilee made me stay in so I could catch up on everything I’d missed. That was fine with me. Anything to take my mind off of THAT. When recess was over I was back to normal, mostly. At least my eye had stopped twitching. I was somehow able to keep myself under control until class was over. The final bell was the most beautiful sound I’d heard all day and I wanted nothing more than to run home and lock myself in my room, but there was a problem.
“You ready to try “Cutie Mark Crusader Lumberjacks”?”
I had already skipped out on the girls twice last week and I really didn’t want them to think I was avoiding them. I love Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to death but sometimes their ideas are just plain dumb. Like I should try to get a cutie mark in singing. As if.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
All I needed to do was stay calm and everything would be perfectly fine. On the way to the forest Apple Bloom was explaining what happened to her and Applejack over the weekend. “-it really seemed like it was workin’ for Granny Smith.”
I thought the whole thing was kinda dumb. I mean come on the last time those two sales ponies were in town they tried to run the whole apple family out of business. Then the next time they show up they decide to support their new product. I’m not saying the apples aren’t all there but…
“-water acrobatics routine and when we performed we got a perfect score!”
It was nice for Apple Bloom and Granny Smith I guess. Getting to do all those flips and spins and stuff in the water. Too bad she didn’t get her cutie mark.
“-told us she lied and the tonic was a fake!”
“No way!”
Scootaloo was drinking it up like it was one of Rainbow Dash’s stories.
“Yeah way! But then she apologized and promised to never do it again and she even got the guy who was helpin’ them confess an’ change his life around.”
“That’s so crazy!”
“I know and I definitely learned to never lie or hold back what I know even if it might hurt some pony. So how ‘bout you Sweetie Bell. You learn anythin’ this weekend?”
Whoever’s in charge of the universe, Celestia, Luna, or… I don’t know (maybe it’s Discord), hates me and you know what? I don’t like them that much either because why else would Apple Bloom say something like that now? Now on top of everything else I’ve been going through today I’ve got guilt. I don’t want to lie to them but what else can I do?
“Oh, just the usual. Hung out at Rarity’s while my parents were out of town. Nothing all that interesting.”
I saw the look Scoots and Bloom shared and I knew what it meant so instead of waiting for them to ask I just went for it. “Look, I’m sorry about this morning. I’ve just been really stressed out recently and it’s making me a little bonkers.”
“What’s goin’ on?” We’re your friend’s right? Maybe we can help.”
“Can we just not talk about it right now?”
Apple Bloom at least got the hint. “Sure thing. Right, Scoots?”
Scootaloo looked like she was about to say something else but Apple bloom shook her head at her. “Yeah, no prob.”
When we got to the forest, we started looking for the biggest tree we could find. If we were going to do this we were gonna do it right. Bloom was the one to find it which I guess makes sense because she spends every day around trees.
“So all we have to do is hit it with the axe until it falls over right?”
* * * * * * * * * * *
At the end of our day the tree we knocked down, which only barely missed crushing us into pony juice, knocked over not one but two other trees. The police ponies came pretty soon afterwards which for us was nothing new, at least this time we didn’t get a ticket for property damage.
They had our parents come and pick us up from the station after making us each sign a paper promising to never chop down any trees ever again and renewing Scootaloo’s ban on using anything sharp whatsoever. I didn’t matter much anyway since none of us got our cutie marks out of it.
Mom and Dad were pretty upset when they got to the station but that wasn’t what I was worried about. I was worried about the inevitable conversation we’d have latter. “So what’d you and Rarity do over the weekend?”
I fed them the same lie I gave the girls. I guess it wasn’t a total lie but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Was that just as bad? What Apple Bloom had said earlier was still bothering me while I was washing the tree sap out of my fur and getting ready for bed. Was it wrong to keep this a secret? I wasn’t really hurting any pony was it? I didn’t know. What I do know is that after I went to bed I barely got any sleep.
When it was finally time to get out of bed, I was still tired and I still didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just go and break my promise to Rarity but I also didn’t want to keep lying to everypony about it. Ugh all this thinking was giving me a headache. I just wished I could talk to somepony and get some advice. Some pony who had dealt with this sort of problem before. Somepony who was really smart and would be able to understand what I was talking about. Somepony who gave friendship advice on a weekly basis. I couldn’t think of anyone. Maybe I’d ask Miss Cheerilee!
On the way to school I met up with Bloom and Scoots.
“You excited for Twilight time Sweetie Bell? I’ve been working on my potion making and-“
“That’s it!” I was so happy I did a leap for joy and little green sparks started flying out of my horn. Princess Twilight! She’d be able to help me figure out what to do. She was like the princess of friendship and she was already friends with me and Rarity. If anypony could help me she could.
“What’s “it” Sweetie Bell?”
Oh yeah. I forgot I said that out loud.
“Uh, nothing. I’m just excited for you and your potion stuff.”
“Oh, well thanks Sweetie Bell.”
Maybe Twilight could also help me with the compulsive lying I was developing.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I made it through school without any incidents like yesterday. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I was just making a big deal out of it for nothing. It hadn’t really changed anything I just knew more about some things than I did before or ever wanted to. Rarity was still my big sister and embodiment of the element of generosity. I was probably just overreacting but I still wanted to talk to Twilight about it. Better safe than sorry right.
I was so sure of myself all the way until we got to the library then all the fear and guilt started mixing around in my stomach making me feel like I was gonna need to borrow one of scootaloos helmets again.
Apple Bloom knocked on the door and for a minute there nothing happened. “Maybe she’s not here?”
Scootaloo shook her head. “No way. Twilights like the most organized pony in town and she’s never missed twilight time before. She probably just didn’t hear us.”
Scootaloo hit the door so hard we could hear books falling off their shelves inside. Then, there was an explosion and black smoke started coming out of the windows.
“ARGH!”
Twilight didn’t sound happy. Not just the ‘I’ve been having a bad day’ unhappy but the ‘You just destroyed my favorite dress. Where did you even get a live octopus anyway!’ kind of unhappy. I was getting cold hooves.
“Maybe we should just go. I hoped the other two would just go along with me but noooo that would be too easy.
“We should check and see if she’s ok.” Dumb Apple Bloom with her dumb morals and dumb sense of responsibility. It was my own sense of responsibility that was causing me grief. Thanks for that Mr. or Miss Master of the universe. Thanks a bunch.
Before either of them could open the door it burst open from the inside revealing Princess Twilight Sparkle and the full fury of an Alicorn, which quickly subsided when she saw it was us. Thank Celestia, wait no, don’t thanks Celestia I’m still mad at her.
She took a few deep breaths using the relaxing technique she learned from Princes Cadence. She taught it to me once but it didn’t really seem like it did anything. Whatever works for her I guess.
“Girls, it’s good to see you. Sorry about that I was just in the middle of a very delicate experiment and your knock distracted me. “
We did our best synchronized ‘We’re sorry’. We’ve been practicing it to the point that now I don’t think anything would be able to resist our pure harnessed cuteness energy. Suckers.
“No, no, it’s ok. I’ll just have to”- she let out a long mournful sigh,”- start over. Again.” She looked super depressed for a second but then she was back to smiley-teacher-princess- Twilight. “Please come in and excuse the mess.”
The library looked like a fiery tornado had gone through it. Books were in piles everywhere and there was a spot on the floor that was still smoking but I can’t judge her for making a mess when I’ve, single hoofed, obliterated Rarity’s Boutique on three separate occasions. Twilight got Scootaloo and Apple Bloom started on their projects before coming over to me. It was now or never.
“Alright Sweetie Belle, let me see your progress on that light spell I gave you last week.”
It felt like my heart was going for a new equestria record of fastest heartbeat of all time. “Actually, Twilight before we start on that can I talk to you for a minute, alone.”
She looked confused but said, “Sure, come with me to the the kitchen.”
If I was having second thoughts before I was having third and fourth thoughts now. One second I was convinced this was an awesome plan and the next it was the worst plan in the history of bad plans. When we both got to the kitchen, Twilight shut the door behind us. My brain was all ‘abort mission, mayday, mayday’ and I couldn’t get my body to do anything. Twilight apparently picked up on how I was freaking out because she asked, “Is everything alright Sweetie?”
I couldn’t help myself. It just sorta burst out. “Rarity’s a-” I shoved my hooves in my mouth before I could say anything else. I’d Pinkie Promised! If I just went and told Twilight about it, Rarity would hate me!
“Forever!”
I lost control of my body and my bladder. Strangely though Twilight didn’t even jump.
“Hello Pinkie. How are you?”
“Absolutely famblastic. Yourself?”
Twilight shrugged. “Eh, same as usual.”
Pinkie winced. “That bad huh.” Then she looked over at me and noticed my little ‘Accident.’ “Ooh, sorry about that Sweetie Belle.” She reached into her mane and pulled out a mop and at this point I don’t know why I’m surprised. “That should help clean things up. Well gotta bounce.” And just like that she was gone again.
I was so embarrassed. I hadn’t done anything like this since I was a little filly. I could feel the heat in my face from me blushing so much. Twilight was still completely calm.
“Don’t worry about it. Happens more often than you think.” She put a spell on the mop and a bucket and they went to work cleaning up my mess.“So what was that about Rarity?”
Dang it. I hoped she’d forget about that what with pinkie coming in out of nowhere. I couldn’t lie to her but I still couldn’t break my promise to Rarity. My brain felt like jello.
“I… I can’t tell you I promised not to but I just… I can’t keep this secret anymore because it’s driving me insane but I can’t tell anypony about it either. Do you know what that’s like?”
“Actually yes, and I think I know how I can help. I’ll go to the boutique with you after we’re done here and we’ll both have a talk with Rarity and explain how you’re feeling. That way you won’t just have it all bottled up inside and you won’t lose Rarities trust. Does that sound good to you?”
I felt relief wash over me like a wave of pure chocolate. That’s why Twilights a princess and I’m not. This would be perfect. I didn’t trust myself to say anything so I just nodded. Twilight smiled then she teleported me up to the bathroom to clean myself off. I couldn’t thank her enough for that because if the girls found out about what I did they’d never let me hear the end of it.
* * * * * * * * * * *
When we got to the boutique I was pretty nervous but just having Twilight there helped me to not just give up and go home. She knocked before going in. I hung back hoping to use her to hide but she figured out what I was doing and she teleported me in front of her. Forget levitation or light spells she needed to teach me how to do that. Rarity was sitting on her special couch having her afternoon tea. When she heard us come in she went right into sales mode.
“Welcome to carousel boutique where everything is- Twilight dear so lovely to see you… And Sweetie Belle?” She gave an annoying big sister exasperated sigh. “What did she break?”
Now that wasn’t fair. Just because I came with an adult doesn’t mean I broke something … always. I sat down and crossed my hooves over my chest.
Twilight giggled. “No it’s nothing like that. Sweetie here was just explaining to me about a problem she was having and I was hoping we could all talk about it for a bit.”
“Oh, well of course.” She levitated a couple of chairs over in front of her couch. “Please have a seat.” When we sat down I scooted my chair closer to Twilights. I was gonna need all the support I could get with what I was about to do. Rarity looked over at me but I couldn’t meet her eyes.
“Now darling what’s the matter? Nothing serious I hope?” Her concern was easily recognizable in her voice. Sometimes I forget about just how much she cares about me. How much we care about each other. I was still nervous though so I didn’t say anything until twilight nudged me.
“Go ahead Sweetie Belle. Just tell Rarity what you told me. It’ll all be ok I promise.”
I took a deep breath and let it all out.
“Rarity, you know that…thing… you made me promise not to talk about yesterday?”
Her eyes narrowed to pin pricks. “You didn’t tell anypony did you?” She started to panic. “She didn’t tell you did she Twilight?”
“Its ok I didn’t tell anyone. It’s just… now that I know it’s really hard to keep it a secret. I feel like ponies are watching me and it scares me. I’m so worried that if some pony finds out what I know that something bad will happen.” Tears were falling down my face at this point and Rarity came and swept me up in a big hug. I buried my face in her neck.
“Shhh, it’s ok Sweetie. I understand. This is something I’ve lived with for a long time now and I know it’s somewhat frightening but believe me when I say that as long as I’m here I will never let anything bad happen to you because of it.”
Its moments like those that make me feel glad that Rarity is my big sister. It was still a big, equestria shattering secret but I knew that Rarity would always be there for me. I’d do my best to always be there for her too.
“Feel better?”
I wiped some tears off my face and nodded.
“Mhmmm”
Twilight started to get up and head for the door apparently thinking her job here was done.
“Hold on a moment darling let me at least see you to the door.”
I stayed in my chair thinking about how good everything was when I felt a little tugging on my horn. I ignored it until I hear a loud thump followed by an even bigger thump. I turned around and saw Twilight sprawled on on the floor and Rarity’s head rolling towards me. Just the head. I don’t know what other fillies and colts would do. Probably run away screaming bloody murder but as for me the thing that popped into my head was ‘oops’.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I picked up my sisters disembodied head with my magic and did the only thing I could think to do. I raised my hoof in the air and said, “Poor Rarity, I knew her.”
Suddenly Rarity’s horn flared to life and her light blue aura overtook my green one. She levitated herself so she was at my eye level.
“Now that’s quite enough of that albeit I do approve of the use of Neighspear in this situation now is simply not the time. Now would you be a dear and fetch me the needle and thread from my room.”
“Alrighty sis. Sorry about…you know.”
She looked like she was about to do something. “You know you never appreciate how much you use your body to communicate until it’s gone but that’s beside the point. Don’t worry about it darling it’s not your fault you just need to be more careful in the future.” She was starting to strain to keep herself in the air. “Whew, how Twilight does it I’ll never know. I’ll be on the couch when you return.”
It took me a few minutes to find the needle and the right color thread. When I came back downstairs twilight was still out cold next to Rarity’s body. I passed the supplies off to her head on the couch and started dragging the body by the tail over there too so she could sew herself back on. It was a good thing my sisters such a clean freak otherwise it probably would have tasted nasty.
“Careful Sweetie Bell don’t jostle me around so much. Oh and I just went to the spa too. No matter I’ll just have to make an emergency appointment for tomorrow.”
I put her down as gently as I could and spat out her tail but there were still some hairs in my mouth. Belch. As she started putting herself back together I turned back to face Twilight.
“So what are we gonna do about her?”
Rarity paused a moment in her sewing. “Well as I see it we have a few possibilities. One option would be to wake her up and pass off the entire incident as a dream or trick of the light. On the other hoof we could sneak her back into the library and pretend the whole thing never happened. Barring that I haven’t eaten anything for a few hours and I’m simply famished.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It made me sick. “Rarity! Are you suggesting that you’d eat Twilight!? How could you? I thought she was your friend.”
She looked at me like I was the one sewing back on my own head. “Wha- oh heavens no. Sweetie Bell you didn’t let me finish. I was merely going to suggest that when she wakes up we act as though nothing has happened and go out for dinner and perhaps a couple of drinks. It has been a trying day.”
“Oh.” Of course that made a lot more sense but even then it felt wrong. No matter which we chose we’d still be lying and I didn’t want to keep doing that especially to my friends. It was my guilt about that on top of everything else that had been driving me nuts for the last couple of days. “What if we just tell her the truth? Shes one of your best friends right? I’m sure she’d understand.”
Rarity just started laughing. “Good joke, Sweetie but seriously what do you think we should do? I’m partial to leaving her back at the library myself. I can always give Spike an incentive to keep quiet about the whole affair.”
It was tempting but I wasn’t giving up that easily. “But don’t you feel bad about lying to your friends all the time?”
It looked like she gave that some real thought. “I suppose yes I do feel a tiny bit guilty for withholding the truth but what else can I do? If anypony found out,” She turned to look at herself in the mirror,” they wouldn’t see me anymore. They’d just see a monster.”
That was the big question wasn’t it. Good thing I already knew the answer. I wrapped her up in as big a hug as I could. “I know what you are, and I still love you as my big sister.”
I could tell my words hit right on target. She was even starting to tear up. “Oh Sweetie. You’re right of course. I shant hide behind falsehoods any longer, but I’m still worried.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here with you. After all, that’s what sisters are for.”