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// Insert Clever Title Here 
// Story: I Blame You 
// by Whitestrake 
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	Jay and the pony trio had relaxed somewhat, at least the flutist got to sit on a cushion. Which was more than he could probably say for his friend, once that letter gets sent, Celestia will come rolling in, metaphorical guns blazing. The teen just hoped he could set things straight before then, Taylor would understand, he was just doing what needed to be done.

“Why is this Taylor coming to kill us?” Twilight was unable to wrap her head around the scenario.

“Humans have close ties to Discord, Taylor thinks that with one, or all, of you dead, the Elements' hold over the God of Chaos will be broken.” Jay shook his head, and tried to look as close to that guy from Terminator as he could, the burned-out soldier facade might help his case.

“Why would he want to bring Discord back?” Fluttershy still spoke in a soft voice, but had made improvements around the teen. 

“Taylor has a chemical imbalance in his brain.” The flutist scoffed at his own response, he knew his friend had a few screws loose, but who didn't? To go that far with it was unacceptable in his mind. “Makes him think things out, but see things as logical even if they make no sense.”

“The lore entry doesn't mention any connection to Discord, or chaos in general, though.” Jay had managed to unleash Twilight's inner nerd, and she wanted more knowledge. “Why would Taylor think about releasing something evil like that, anyway?” Twilight apparently hadn't heard Fluttershy ask the exact question earlier. To the Unicorn's surprise, the human laughed.

“Trying to base a conclusion about humanity from one subject is using one painting as a reference for every work of art ever made.” The teen waved his hands as he spoke, an odd habit. “But, about your mention of evil, it doesn't exist.”

“How can ya say that, when there's plenty a' evil things in th' world?” Applejack didn't follow his reasoning, nopony really could without some cultural insight.

“By my own experience, evil doesn't exist, and neither does good. Nature has no place for them, nature knows only balance and imbalance, two sides of a scale.”

“If either side gets too heavy, or gets too much influence...” Twilight trailed off, but everypony knew what she was getting at.

“Then the scale falls over.” Jay was never philosophical, but he'd had a few deep conversations with his friend about things like this. “I assume I don't need to explain it.”

“So, Taylor's trying to tip the scale?” Twilight was starting to understand just how serious this situation was.

“No, he's trying to restore balance, in his own, weird way.” The flutist was met with strange, curious looks from the three. “Like I said earlier, he doesn't think like a normal human.” Things settled after that. Applejack's apprehension about the human was still at high levels. Once you set off her bullshit alarm, you can't earn her trust without really working for it.

But all the relaxation washed away when a purple dragon opened the door.

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I was glad it wasn't raining outside the forest, that was the last thing I needed right now. I had a lot on my mind at the moment, and that could affect my performance. Jay's being held in Ponyville, likely Twilight's library, Celestia may have been informed, actually, that was almost a given. In an equal level of importance, Trixie was pretending to be asleep earlier, she underestimated how easily awoken I am. I'll probably have to find her, and patch her up again when I get back.

Was Ponyville usually swarming with Royal Guards? I don't think it is. Jay must have royally screwed the pooch on this one. Come on, Taylor, think. What would Big Boss do in a situation like this?  It was then that I knew what must be done. I hoped I was as stealthy as I thought, because if I get caught, I’m fucked.

I ducked down behind some shrubbery, just in front of a house, shutters drawn. Dark green and brown are good camouflage at night, and with the light fog that drifted in from the Everfree, combined with the thin veil of clouds blocking the moon, conditions were perfect. A patrol moved by, Equestrian flashlights are designed to be held in the mouth, so they couldn't give orders to each other. Let's see them call for help.

There was one at the back, young, he was scared out of his mind right now. He didn't have a light with him, so shouting would be a problem, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about the flash alerting anyone. I crept up behind him and pulled out my knife. In an instant, I had him back in my hiding spot, mouth clamped over, and blade at his throat. I smashed the pommel into the junction between his skull and spine, a small portion of the spinal cord is exposed there, as in most vertebrates. With proper pressure, he was rendered unconscious, with no long-term side effects, hopefully.

I searched his body for a map, orders, anything I could find. Let's see... wallet, keys, love letter, ah! Here we are, orders from Princess Celestia. I read every line of it, several times in fact. Jay, you sonofabitch, when I get my hands on you...

“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!” The voice was perfect, and I nearly shat my pants in fear, oh, the Oblivion flashbacks. I didn't think, I just ran. Damn these boots and their steel toes, always making my nailbeds sore, and curse the metal shavings that stabbed my feet as I ran. I didn't have a map, but I had wild abandon and no regard for my own safety. They wanted to catch a monster, I’ll show them a monster.

I rounded a corner, a familiar tree came into view, Princess Celestia and Jay were talking to each other, and three of the Mane Six were outside, looking in. The two guards posted at the door held my attention, though, as I ran by. Like hell I was going to willingly be in the same room as the sun goddess. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the group watching me, including the Princess. I was thankful that the two guards didn't give chase, at least they followed orders.

The squad from earlier was still in hot pursuit, why did they have to follow orders? I jumped onto a ladder, there was no way they could follow up here, and for good measure, I threw the ladder down. That's when I noticed the Pegasi in their group. Time to pull a Faith, too bad I've never played Mirror's Edge, and never done parkour in my life. Nevertheless, I took off in a dead sprint.

Why did buildings in Ponyville have to be so rustic? If I wasn't slipping on shingles, I was falling through thatching. 

“COME ON, JUST GIVE UP!” I heard the guards voice, but had no fucks to give. I jumped from one rooftop to the next, hoping for a break, some cover. I may have had my gun, but just because I can, doesn't mean I should. 

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” Might as well piss them off, not like I care about their feelings. Wait, shit, if they catch me, they can get me back for it, just great. I focused on running again, searching for an escape route, anything would do. I noticed a slim crevice in between two residential, apartment-style buildings. That was as good as it'd get, I suppose, so I jumped into it.

Who puts a balcony in an alley? Not that I’m angry, or anything, just perplexed at this oddity. I checked the door, locked, just my luck. Hoofsteps from inside neared, most likely the owner. My pursuers pass over, and swoop down to grab me. I jumped and land in a pile of trash, did anyone clean these up, ever?

I shook myself, to get in gear, and bolted through the web of connected alleyways. Left, left, right, left, right, right, and... brick wall. A door is to my left, and another on my right, neither are locked, but which do I choose? Fuck it, I'm going left, choosing right got me in this mess.

“If I'd known a human would come in my back door, I'd leave it unlocked more often.” That was a strange voice, female, with a touch of both humor and amazement. The room was dim, but at least I'd evaded those chasing me, for now. So I'm not looking the gift horse in the mouth.

“You aren't going to turn me in, are you?” I had to ask, in between my panting, I’ve never run that far in my life.

“Of course not, I've been waiting for a moment like this since I was a little filly.” The voice giggled a bit. Damn, why hadn't my eyes adjusted yet? I needed to see who to thank. I squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them, yep, that reflex still worked. I looked at the mare who'd taken me in, and nearly screamed like a little, manly girl.

I was looking at Lyra Heartstrings.

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That awkward moment when you unintentionally put in innuendo.