Derpy knocked on the door to Luna's chambers, the two batpony guards regarding the supposed 'maid' with wary; and somewhat weary; expressions.
"The red team has taken a control point!"
"Princess Luna, are you in there?"
A blast of noise similar to the last attempt of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to find their demolition cutie marks rattled the doors, the guards, and Derpy. The mailmare blinked a few times, then knocked on the door louder. "Princess Luna!"
"Burn! Burn like the stars in my night sky! Waaaahahaha!" A rather non-royal cackling issued forth from the confines of the chamber. Frowning intently, Derpy applied her hoof once more, this time with disregard for propriety. And to damage control as the poor lock of the door found itself unwilling to bear the brunt of her special talent. The door swung open dramatically, bathing the darkened chamber in the light of morning, and earning Derpy a surprised hiss from the Lunar regent.
"Oops." Derpy frowned at her critical success versus the door, but rallied a disapproving frown at the princess of the night. "Princess Luna!"
"What? Oh, hello Derpy. Mail time already?" Luna looked up from her computer. A rather clunky looking machine, all told, the box for a screen connected with wires to another box, showing pictures of caricatured ponies with various forms of weaponry facing off with one another. It all seemed a bit silly to the pegasus.
"No. You're supposed to be down in the throne room, covering for Princess Celestia!"
"Oh, right, Celly asked me to do that." Luna remained where she was, clicking a small device under one hoof as her other hoof pressed some kind of button covered board. Derpy frowned again.
"Princess Luna, there are supplicants waiting." Luna broke into a startled hiss again, leaning in towards the screen.
"We're going to lose again... One more game, Derpy. Just one."
"Princess Luna! So help me I'll... I'll break your computer!"
Luna froze with a horrified expression, slowly turning to face the mailmare. "You wouldn't."
"I could!" Derpy stared back defiantly. Luna looked from the computer back to the rolling glare of the pegasus, and back to her computer.
"Fine. If it's that important to you." Luna cleared her throat, alighting her horn with energy. Derpy relaxed for a moment before a heavy weight landed on her head, and something long and metallic clattered to the ground before her. "By the power vested in us as Ruler of Equestria you are hereby appointed as temporary regent until the return of either of the royal sisters. Have fun!" Derpy was about to protest as another flash of Luna's horn teleported her to the throne room, crown and scepter included.
Luna breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to her game. Just one more round and she'd head down to relieve the mailmare. Just one.
Blueblood was calm. He was calm. He was incredibly calm. He was not nervously peeking down every hallway to ensure he avoided the maid he no longer needed. He was heading to the throne room to discuss something completely unrelated to the maid. Who he didn't need. Who could be fired. He could dress himself for a week or so, and thus ensure the next pool of applicants wouldn't include this- this- unspeakable horror contained in a pegasus disguise. She was more dangerous than Discord, Blueblood was sure of it!
He took a deep breath and contemplated his expression in the reflective surface of one of the vases set around the palace. He looked more worn than he wanted to admit, but he had, finally, found a still uncharred and intact suit near the back of his closet. While he found the act of setting out his own clothing to be a tedious bother, at least he still had a suit to wear. He would likely have to have some servant stop by to assess the damage and place orders for new attire.
He trotted past the assembled nobles and petty ponies seeking the ear of Celestia, not paying them any heed. He was her favorite nephew, and he was going to voice his concerns here and now.
"Auntie!" He moved through the door at a steady clip, not noting or caring whose troubles he was interfering with. It took him a moment longer to register what was on the throne.
Clad in her black and white maid dress, with an old fashioned crown adorning her head, and a scepter laid in front of her across the arms of the throne, was the mare of destruction. She smiled cheerfully at the prince, her yellow eyes of hatred and despair stopping their rolling long enough to fix the prince with their baneful gaze. "Hey there Prince Blueblood!" Her voice shattered Blueblood's hopes, dreams, and almost served to destroy his soul.
It was with an effort of will that Blueblood didn't run screaming. No. He was a prince. He had his pride.
He lay down, very casually, on the floor. He, very calmly, rolled onto his side. Without any semblance of dismay or fear he pulled his hind legs to his chest, holding them there with his arms. And in the manliest fashion he could manage, he began sobbing, tears streaming down his face. There was but one line that seemed to summarize this situation.
"I just..." The prince was racked with a sob. "Just don't know. What went wro-ho-ho-hong."
After negotiations had broken down, Celestia and Dinky had resorted to getting more cookies from Sugarcube Corner. The princess had to admit she felt a lot more welcome in Ponyville, many of the children simply waving at her as another familiar face. Yes, children! The next generation could be brought to a lesser feeling of obligatory formality by simple exposure. That would perhaps be the best avenue of—
Celestia's train of thought derailed as Mr. Bear landed on her nose with an expert toss. "You looked entirely too serious. Cookie?" Dinky; once again wise beyond her years; had disrupted the princess falling back into 'royal' mode, and beginning long term plans
Celestia smiled, returning Mr. Bear to Dinky's back with a chuckle. In return, the filly offered a cookie. "Yes please." In the here and now, things were alright. Oo, peanut butter cookie. Scanning the skies, Celestia couldn't help but note that the afternoon was moving onwards. "I am surprised your mother hasn't gotten home yet. Do you think we should go check on her?"
"We got a bag fulla cookies, I got Mr. Bear, and you're a princess. Let's ride!" Dinky posed excitedly, pointing at the train station. Celestia put a hoof to her mouth to stifle the giggles.
"I was thinking something a little quicker."
Dinky held on for dear life. The wind streaming past her was faster than the wind she felt, thanks to the shield out in front. She'd flown with her momma before, but flying on an alicorn was a completely different experience. She whooped excitedly as they slammed through another cloudbank, the mad giggles of a princess goofing off echoing around her happily. She wasn't sure how fast they were going, but Canterlot was getting closer by the minute!
After a moment to set both herself and Dinky back in order, Celestia lead the way through the front gates of the castle, to the mild consternation of the guards on duty. Years of familiarity guided her hooves through the hallways, even as her experience with the young unicorn managed to remind her of impending mayhem. "Don't mess with the vases, my little pony."
Dinky blew a raspberry, withdrawing her hoof from the previously mentioned object. "I wasn't gonna break it. And can't you just call me Dinky?"
"Would you just call me Celestia?"
"'Course! I'd even call you mom if you married my momma." With a cheerful giggle the filly darted past the now stricken with confused paralysis princess. After a moment to clear her head and a rueful smile, the Princess chased after the cheerful filly, herding her towards the throne room.
"Lulu, we're— Derpy?"
Derpy blinked atop the throne and smiled cheekily. "No, I'm Derpy. You're Celestia. And she's Dinky."
Dinky offered a massive gasp in retort. "Momma! Are you the princess?!"
"Not anymore, regent until one of the sisters returns."
"Wait, where's Lulu?"
"Probably still playing those games of hers." Derpy rolled her eyes with a weary expression. "At least the amount of ponies coming in dropped off sharply once Blueblood arrived." She gestured at the still sobbing lump of pony in the middle of the floor.
Celestia shook her head. "I can't imagine why that would be discouraging." She smiled a bit. "I do hope it wasn't too horrible a job?"
"Oh no, Princess, and the lunch was very good."
"You got here before..." She trailed off, eying her distraught nephew. "Perhaps a bit more effective than planned, but we'll call it a qualified success."
Derpy carefully removed the crown, leaving it and the scepter upon the throne. She walked over to Dinky and nuzzled up to her daughter. "So did you behave for the princess, my little muffin?"
"Uh huh! Mr. Bear owns Appleloosa now!" Derpy blinked a few times, fixing the giggling princess with a curious stare.
"Actually, there's a small addendum to Equestrian land deals that invalidates deals made with plush toys."
"That's oddly specific." Derpy smiled as Dinky pouted.
"Twilight had High General Smartypants make many a diplomatic mission from Fort Book Fort. In the end it was easier to make the deals invalid than try to argue ownership with her." Celestia and Derpy shared a small chuckle at the antics of children.
"Well, I am glad I was able to help you, Princess, and that Dinky wasn't too much trouble. I'll get us home."
"Actually, Derpy, there was one more thing." Derpy perked up as Celestia tapped a hoof to her chin. "No, let's say two things for now. One, please just call me Celestia. You've long been welcome here in the palace as an excellent mail service provider, and I would be honored if you'd count me as a friend rather than as a ruler."
"I'll.. try Celestia. But even Twilight still has trouble with that."
"I appreciate the effort. The second part is something that Dinky pointed out to me. We never actually 'tried' the date." Derpy blinked, her expression sliding into shock. "So, I figure we can try an actual date. Tonight. Luna will keep an eye on Dinky."
Derpy carefully weighed today's experiences with Luna in her mind. "Are you sure she will?"
"If she doesn't I'm giving you full authorization to 'bubble' her computer. I don't care how expensive she says it is."
Derpy blinked a few times, looking down at the eager smile of her daughter and up at the warm eyes of the Sun Princess. A smile slowly broke across her face. "I'm... I'm more than honored P—Celestia."
"Good! Now, how long has Blueblood been sobbing here?"
Derpy flinched slightly as she considered the sobbing noble. "We might need a mop."