//------------------------------// // The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 2 // Story: The Epic Tale of Jack Darrius // by Ponyswamp //------------------------------// The Fantastical Journeys of Jack Darrius Chapter 2 I wasn't sure of what reaction I would get, but I went through with it. Now, I'm running the possibilities through my mind. Disbelief, rage, shock, happiness, viciousness, even confusion all seemed possible. Making a quick look around, I note they are obviously post- Season 3 finale, as Twilight Sparkle was noticeably Alicorn. Now, the only question is whether they're post- Equestria Girls... -------------------- I'd seen creatures like this before, but that was after I went through the mirror in Canterlot. We'd expected to be somewhere else in Equestria, maybe even outside of Equestria, but to another world? And I can't help but notice that this human seemed... off. His mane.. no... no, his hair, was a dark brown, went down just past his ears, and right now... was arranged clearly as bedhead. He wore a shirt and pants covered in brown and dark purple plaid, which I'm sure Rarity would want to change. Standing upright on his bed, at least, I'm assuming it's his bed, he stood about as tall as I was at Canterlot High, so I'm assuming he's a high school student. His skin was a pale peach, as I could see clearly in this light. But while these are all astute observations, they are at the moment, relatively unimportant. The most pressing matter is how he knew us. It's been around a month since that fiasco with Sunset Shimmer, but there's no way that information could have been passed on this quickly. And he recognized us all on sight. How in Equestria could he have... Applejack and Rainbow Dash asked the question we were all thinking in a way only they could. By lassoing him and pinning him to the bed. -------------------- Oh god, this seems so much like a bad clopfic. I'm hogtied in my own bed with two very angry ponies right in my face. Their words blurred together, but I got the gist of it: What the hell, how do you know about us, bla bla bla, threats, yadda yadda... How can I even be sarcastic at a time like this? The Mane Six and Spike ARE IN MY BEDROOM! How can I be calm!? Well, apparently, I can't. I try to struggle only to find out that Applejack is really, REALLY excellent with a lasso. I can't move a muscle! Where did she even get her lasso? Of course my struggling only prompts more yelling, but this time, the rest of them join in, save for Fluttershy, who is nowhere to be found. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are still trying to force me to answer, and the rest just want to talk. I'll admit, this seems out of character, but yelling seems to be the acceptable level of volume, and they're probably just scared. Most people, or, ponies, I guess, will lash out when you back them into a corner. Even Fluttershy. Especially Fluttershy. Everyone shuts up when she yells 'Wait!' like when they confronted the manticore. Honestly, it's a lot scarier in person. If I wasn't tied up, I might be shaking. She approaches me like I was a timid animal, and talks to me like I was one. It was soothing and degrading at the same time. They walk away, talk it over and untie me. Twilight is the first to speak up. ''Now then sorry about the... abrupt assault.'' ''Heh, don't mention it. It just doesn’t happen too often.'' Rainbow Dash and Applejack both mutter an apology, and I decide not to antagonize the ponies who just tied me up. ''So, uh... any of you seven hungry?'' Stomachs growl comically in response. I grinned and led them to the kitchen, down the hall. As soon as we get there, Pinkie Pie freaks out. More than usual. ''Omigosh, this is your kitchen? Wowie, think of all the stuff I could make! It's huge!'' When you've got three ovens and two refrigerators, that's an understatement. Since they're my guests, I serve them. It's easy since I'm a vegetarian too. Shockingly, though, it wasn't FiM. It was a lack of meat halfway through the war. Some kids gave it up, and the rest got theirs. However, Pinkie Pie kept tearing through the kitchen, rooting through every cupboard and reading every label. I got the feeling cooking won't be an issue, but running out of ingredients will. I served up some reheated veggie burgers, prompting some... unexpected results. As soon as they bit into it, they gasped. At first, I thought that they were disgusted, but they quickly dug in. After they finished, they let loose with a mixture of thank you and oh my gosh, that was delicious! Twilight was the first to ask why though. ''Simple. It's mass manufactured to be delicious. I'm not treating you, these are leftovers, I just reheated them.'' They looked a little shocked at that, but accepted it nonetheless. Mostly. ''So, these weren't made by hooves?'' Asked Applejack. ''Then what... who... how didya make 'em?'' I shrugged. ''They put them on a machine, and it does if for them.'' To me it seemed like an everyday part of everyday life. But Applejack couldn't seem to fathom it. ''But the machines... They're made by hooves, right?'' Now this was at least a question you might normally hear. ''Actually, most of them are made by other machines, made by other machines, until somewhere down the line, they're not.'' This, unlike the rest of the argument, actually drew the attention of the other six. They were too busy chowing down on their veggie burgers, holding them as easily as if they had hands. I've got to make a point of asking them about that. Seriously, how... Applejack's voice cut through my thoughts.''But, if it's not made by hooves, then how...'' ''Hands.'' I interrupted. She looked confused. ''Huh?'' I did some jazz hands to show off my fingers. ''Hands. You know, four fingers, one thumb?'' ''Oh right, you're one of those weird monkey things Twi turned into. Sorry. Did we go through the mirror and stay ponies? How'd that happen?'' Twilight, unsurprisingly, already had a theory. ''Actually, I don't think we're in that world. I believe that we are in an alternate alternate world. However, that could cause more harm than good, including reality tearing apart at the seams.'' Lovely. Good to know a visit from the main characters of my favourite T.V show could kill us all. ''But that begs the question...'' She turned to me. ''How do you know who we are, and why isn't the universe exploding?'' They all looked at me for answers. I did my best to explain things without talking down to them. I mean, normally you wouldn’t be asked these kinds of questions. Except maybe for amnesiacs and time travellers. ''First, humans are closer to apes, not monkeys.'' Some chuckles that I ignored. ''Second, I have a very common knowledge of the inner workings of the universe, which is to say none at all, so I don't know how we aren't all dead.'' Ignoring suggestions from both Twilight and Pinkie Pie, I strode over to the door to my room. ''And as for how I know you, well, seeing is believing.'' -------------------- We followed the creature, er, Jack, he was called, into a room I now realize is his bedroom. He sits down at a desk in front of a... computer. Yeah, a computer, that’s what it is. They had some of those in the other alternate universe. As he presses a button and it starts to light up, I start to wonder. What does he want to show us? How did he turned on the light without touching it? What kind of a name is Jack? Seriously, even the creatures in the other alternate universe had normal names. What if... His anguished shout roused my from my contemplation. I look up to him hitting the computer, mumbling under his breath. “Damn thing... you crash now?” As he tried to.. start it or something, I take the time to talk to my friends. “So, what do you think?” I ask. They look decidedly... confused. “About what, dear?” Rarity chimed. “About... him.” They relaxed a little at that. “What do ya mean, Twi? He seems nice enough.” I admit, I was a little dumbfounded at that. “But, he knows about us. How could he know about us? I just think we should be... cautious, that's all. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that... I don't know. I get this weird feeling from him.” Rainbow was about to pipe up, but Jack called us over to him. He turned off the screen just before we got there, then looked at us grimly. I could tell it meant sadness, even on his alien face. “I'm about to show you something. It's how I know about you. It'll be...” he thought for a moment. He was thinking about every word. Could it really be that bad? “shocking. But you'd find out eventually. Better now from me than on your own later.” At this point, I'm freaking out. What could it be? Could his computer see into our lives? Or our friends'? Is he talking to somepony at home? Those and a million other theories ran through my head. But nothing could prepare me for what he showed us. Mainly because it took me a while to understand it. And even longer to comprehend the consequences. -------------------- I chose the theme. Season four's seemed the most appropriate, seeing as in that Twilight at least had wings. But it was just the theme. I noticed their elements and realized that they hadn't lost them yet. Also, Applejack said that Twilight went to another world, meaning the whole Sunset Shimmer incident already happened. That means that they're from some point between Equestria Girls and season four. I looked at them. Mainly confusion, although Pinkie was bouncing along to the beat. When it finished, I cut to the sonic rainboom scene. Then to the wedding. Then to Sombra. Then Discord. And on and on and on until I hit pretty much every episode prior to season four, seeing as that's technically their future. Then I looked at them. All their confused looks and frowns. And I told them everything. That their from a T.V show. What a T.V show is. How long it's been running for, although I left out season four and up. God I hope they take this well. -------------------- I didn't quite understand. But then he explained it, slowly and carefully, choosing every word. When he was finished, I was awestruck. The implications were as numerous as they were confusing and theoretical. Which is to say, a lot. After the seemingly obligatory silence, I spoke. Not a question, but a statement. “You seem to be taking this rather well.” He cocked his head. “The ponies you idolize show up one night and say you need to go back to their world with them. If any of us were in this situation instead of you, we'd have some pretty extreme reactions.” He chuckled. It disturbed me. “Isn't it obvious?” The head shaking was simultaneous. He tapped his head. “I'm dreaming.” This disturbed me a lot more than the knows-about-all-our-crazy-adventures part. “But we have all our memories. Of course we're real.” He chuckled more. “of course you'd say that. You're supposed to. I...” He stopped and looked at Applejack. He had a glint of realization in his eye. “Buck me.” That was probably the strangest thing I have ever heard. From the look on Applejack's face, I'd say she felt the same. He didn't stop there. “You buck me, I wake up, it's all over.” This sounded stupid to me. If he's hunch is true, and he wakes up, we all cease to exist. And I definitely enjoy existing. I do it all the time. But apparently Applejack didn't get the memo. She bucked him. Hard. Clearly he didn't wake up, as we still existed. But something seemed off. He doubled over, and seemed to be holding something in. Sure, getting bucked would hurt, and by Applejack? Well, certainly you'd be in extreme pain, but this? This was way more. Then it hit me. “Um, Applejack?” I said softly, without taking my eyes off the nearly crippled Jack. “Do you know how... erm, mating goes?” She looked rather shocked at this. “Er, I suppose so, sugarcube. But, uh, why?” I glanced over at her. “I think you kicked him in his... parts.” Just then, we heard a mumble from Jack. “Cover... your... ears...” was all the warning we got. We were just able to comply before he started screaming in agony. I could just make out some profanities, things I assumed were profanities, and some random screaming mixed in. Fortunately, this didn't go on for long. Unfortunately, that was because he collapsed unconscious onto his bed. -------------------- There was a banging on the door. Hard, metallic raps that woke me from my slumber, signalling the dawn of a new day. They hated when I said that. They hated everything about me, and they made it no secret. I wasn't the perfect one, like I'd heard the scientists say. And I loved making them hate me. After a few minutes of ignoring the knocking, I finally got up when they threatened no meals. I got up, combed my hair as messy as it would go, and set off at a trot down the cold, metallic halls. The day was a blur. Eat. Anthem. School. Eat. School. Eat. Anthem. Room. Every day, over and over. It was boring. You couldn't really break the schedule, they made sure of that. But it was fun making juvenile pranks on the adults to make their precious schedule more and more torturous for them. Free time was my me time. I could read up on all the stuff from just before the bunkers. But that's really it. All the other kids hate me. So really, no visits. I walked over to my bathroom and pulled back the shower curtains to reveal my wall. They couldn't really look at me in here, violation of personal space and all that. So they couldn't know that I'd been marking down the days since my dad dropped me here. But today was special. Today was a strange anniversary. Not of years, but of days. Happy day 1000 in this hellhole. May I get out soon. -------------------- I awoke to a sickening feeling in my gut and in my... pelvic area. I nearly dismissed what little I could remember of my dream as just that, and that the Mane 6 and Spike did not, in fact, show up at midnight, when I saw them. They had fallen asleep on my floor. On the hardwood. Spike was snoring on Twilight's back. This was impossible. I'm waiting for them to say that it's time I woke up when they stirred at my awakening. I want to say my heart exploded twice, but that was kinda a horrible quote. So I won't. Even though it did. Twilight was the first to speak. “So, I'm guessing we're not a dream, eh?” she said with a smirk. I weighed it over in my head, then nearly passed out back on my bed. Twilight rushed to me, knocking Spike violently to the floor. “Oh, no you don't. We've been here all night, waiting for you to wake up. You're not sleeping again until we get some answers!” she said with mock anger. I stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter. So did she, and by then the others had woken up too. I had to admit, this was a definite big deal. But I couldn't stop laughing. I had a brief thought that I was crazy, but that went away when everyone else started laughing too. This was too perfect a moment to be fake. We settled down after a bit, but we didn't speak until Pinkie stopped laughing. Which was until Rainbow elbowed her a full minute later. I was looking forward to more of this. If it lasted. I turned to Twilight. “So, now that the excessive laughing fit is over, do you mind telling me why you showed up in my bedroom...” I glanced at my clock. “Last night?” Twilight seemed almost too eager to answer. “There was an expedition deep into some ruins discovered beneath Canterlot. There was some sort of ancient temple to the sun, but not Celestia. It was very strange, and I was called over to lead the expedition while the previous leader went home to take care of his wife in labour.” “While I was there, reading more of the works of Starswirl the Bearded, when the wall I was leaning on collapsed. Luckily, I was fine, but there was a hidden chamber behind the wall. There was an altar, with a diagram of the Elements of Harmony. We called the others there immediately. We tried pressing the Elements up to the altar, and it opened.” “Inside were two stone tablets, both written in ancient Equestrian. One was a spell, that could only be activated by three alicorns and the Elements of Harmony. The second was a prophecy.” “He who is both far and near will come to save all of the lands in one fell swoop. A spell enclosed to find the warrior you will not make. And then there were long, vague descriptions of risks this mythical hero would be facing, and then there was...” At this point I had to stop her. Luckily, Rainbow and Applejack helped out with the shutting up. “Okay, okay, we get it. So, to recap, You found a prophecy, teleported to me because somehow I can save Equestria, and I have to go back and do so?” They all nodded. We were all in agreement that my version was better than Twilight's. I grinned. “So, when can we get started?” Twilight looked shocked. “Wait, you'll come!? Just like that!?” she exclaimed. Clearly she expected some apprehension on my part. “Let's see,” I said. “My idols show up in my house, clearly making my day, they prove their real, further making my day, and then they ask me to go with them to save quite possibly the greatest place I have ever seen? How could I say no!?” Twilight, clearly, had prepared an answer. “Well, first you'd be leaving your life behind.” “Done.” I replied. “And you'd be risking your life for ponies you've never met.” “In a heartbeat.” “And you'd be fighting your way against a potential torrent of challenges, only to end up falling off a virtual waterfall in a final, gruelling, climactic battle of some sort.” “Sharp rocks at the bottom?” She giggled (squee!). “Most likely.” I grinned. “Bring it on.” -------------------- We tried to return to Equestria. But the Elements didn't work. Twilight desperately tried to examine them, which took her three days. In that time, Pinkie had thrown fourteen parties, drained my baking supplies, and listened to all of my music. There was a really creepy and sad party where she started off by playing “How She Sees The World”, from the Bioshock 2 soundtrack, but we switched quickly to some generic dance music I found on the internet. Speaking of the internet, they found it. After the war it fell into disuse, except for it's original, military purpose. But it's history was still there. And frankly, that was enough. We had to develop a timetable for my computer (I readily gave up my own computer privileges for their convenience). We also put Twilight on it, just in case, but when she didn't collect, it devolved into a free-for-all. Though you can probably guess what they did, I’ll still tell the less creative of you. Applejack and Rainbow Dash got really into sports, and rooted for the horses whenever the came across an Equestrian event (go figure). Fluttershy watched anything with animals, and she immediately fell in love with YouTube’s abundance of cat videos. She also became engrossed in earthly horses, attempting to crack the code of why they weren't the dominant species. Rarity, with some effort, became up to date on fashion, and insisted that she get some supplies so that she could fashion me some fashionable clothes. She also wouldn't take no for an answer. Pinkie Pie began to look at everything, on some unstoppable vendetta to see it all. After she asked me the conversion data from Equestrian years to Earth years so that she could tell if she was indeed “18 or Older”, I put a necessary ban on anything pornographic or disturbing. Didn't want to have to explain that to Celestia. After three days of everything from neon lights to smoke that smelled vaguely of burnt cabbage leaking out from underneath my door, Twilight finally emerged for more than food. She said that the Elements of Harmony would take a good three more weeks to recharge for the trip back to Equestria. Normally, this would be fine, but I had school to go to. Let me explain. After the big inter-planetary war, society decided that those important enough to be put in Bunkers were still some of the most important people in the world. Since the aliens were bent on conquest rather than destruction, most of Earth's structures were intact. So, I get to go to school. Lucky me. We worked out that they would stay cooped up in my house while I was at school, Twilight would help me with my homework, and I'd spend pretty much every waking hour with them. We were all fairly happy with this arrangement. Until Twilight sprung a change of plans on me the day before school. -------------------- I woke up early that morning, with the intention of making my lunch and having a shower before they woke up. But when I got to the kitchen, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were already there. Applejack smirked at my mild shock and wordlessly handed me my breakfast, an apple cinnamon bagel. Should have known. As I wolfed it down, they walked around the kitchen making my lunch. Well, Applejack walked. Pinkie bounced silently. As I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom, I pondered how she didn't make a sound when she bounced. Shrugging it off as just a Pinkie Pie thing, I undressed and stepped into the shower. I really did need this. I'd been so busy these past few days keeping up with all seven of them, that I didn't even have time to shower. Luckily, they weren't too accustomed to human smells, so they didn't really notice. I had just brought my shampoo soaked hands up to my hair when Twilight burst through the door. She didn't know what I was doing, so she was fine, but I nearly fell on my ass. I covered my *NSFW* and demanded she get out. She demanded it couldn't wait. I screamed it could. She looked hurt and disappointed, but she left. I felt bad, but what was I supposed to do? Talk to her with my *NSFW* hanging out? I think not. About ten minutes later, we had assembled just inside my front door. I cleared mt throat. “Right, so does everyone remember the rules?” I asked them all collectively. I was met by a fleet of nods. No going outside, keep the windows shut, adhere to the computer timetable and restricted sites and searches list, and no chatting up the Bronies. That last one could be disastrous. I said my goodbyes and was about to open the door when I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned to see Twilight with an urgent look in her eyes. She cleared her throat and spoke clearly. “I want to go to school with you.”.