//------------------------------// // I'm A Little Pony, You Haven't A Prayer // Story: Discord's Little Boys // by Ascension Call //------------------------------// Thanks a bunch for the comments, likes, and reviews everypony! Let us continue! DISCLAIMER: Neither I, Ascension Call, nor the co-author DinamoKiev own My Little Pony and any of its characters Outside of a cave deep in the Everfree Forest, two cloaked figures made their way towards a small chest that sat in the moonlit clearing in front of the cave. Quietly, one of them picked up the chest and carried it on its back, while the other, who was noticeably taller than his companion, checked the surrounding shadowed woods for any sudden movements. One could never be too safe in these parts, especially in the dead of night. Seeing none, the figure made its way back toward the cave, followed closely by the figure carrying the chest. They entered the cave, which was small in size and contained little more than some shrubbery and rocks, and made their way towards a branch sticking out of a cave wall, which was well-hidden in the darkness amidst the surrounding growth. One of the figures struck it hard with its hoof. For a few moments, nothing happened. Suddenly, a deep, menacing voice was heard in the cave, which asked, “You who dare enter this cave… What is the password?” No answer was given, and instead, the two stood there silently, as if daring the voice to speak again. Seconds later, it was heard once again, except it sounded much less confident. “…Fine. You two are no fun.” A section of the cave wall then slid open to reveal a flight of stairs that led downwards. They descended without a word. At the bottom of the stairs, the two found themselves in a spacious room, which was fully furnished with luxurious furniture and exotic goods ranging from elaborately-patterned rugs to mounted timberwolf and ursa minor heads. A roaring fire in a large fireplace warmed the room and filled it with light, and three ponies were seated in front of it. A small door to the right of the stairs opened, and an Earth pony with a dark red coat, and a short, jet black mane stepped out of it. He had no cutie mark. A mischievous grin appeared on his face as he saw the two hooded figures. Though they had thoroughly concealed themselves with clothing, the pony recognized them as his associates. “Both of you really ought to learn to take a joke. I was trying to liven up the place! Heh heh… heh…” He trailed off as he realized that they were ignoring him, and were walking over to the other three. “Bloody cloppers,” he muttered. “Hey! Shekk! Corski! Don’t forget that it was me who spotted the chest!” he yelled. He then walked back through the door and slammed it shut behind him, startling a few of the ponies near the fire. “What was that about?” asked a unicorn pony with a light purple coat and light black mane. His cutie mark was a fork with unicorn horns as tines, and oddly, his horn was a dull gray color, which contrasted sharply with the color of his coat. “Just Guyver whining again, Porter,” answered Corski, the shorter of the cloaked figures, thought he was still large for a pony. “He just doesn’t realize that his jokes aren’t that funny.” He then removed the chest from his back and placed it on the floor in front of the fire. A pale yellow pegasus pony with a dark brown mane and a clenched fist as his cutie mark stared at it very intently from his seat to Porter’s right. He had a bandaged stub in place of a right wing. A coughing dark green and hairless unicorn with a tree set ablaze as his cutie mark also eyed the chest. He smirked, and then said, “Well, *cough* what’s this? Did you guys actually find *cough* something worth looking at this time?” as he glanced over at his two cloaked associates from his seat across Porter. He then looked back at the chest, examining it more closely, and instantly, his sarcasm was replaced with shock and curiosity. He had spotted a small backwards “D” with a scratch through its middle on the side of the chest. “Wait *cough*… is that-” he began. “Yes. We think so, Burns,” interrupted Shekk, the taller of the cloaked figures, and also the largest of the entire group. His voice was extremely hoarse, and sounded almost mechanical in nature. He paused, and then opened the chest to reveal its contents. The chest, though small, was filled to the brim with gleaming bits, each and every one in absolutely flawless condition. A stunned silence filled the room as each mercenary, aside from Shekk and Corski, who stared at the money with disinterest, quickly gathered around the chest to pore over the loot that sat before them, and felt greed cloud their minds. “It’s… beautiful…” whispered an entranced Burns. The crippled pegasus behind him reached over and quickly grabbed a coin before anypony could stop him, and bit into it, savoring the pure, metallic taste, “And it tastes good, too…” he said. “Telo put the bit back! Cash’s for spending, not for eating!” yelled Guyver, as he snatched the bit out of the pegasus’s hoof and tossed it back into the chest. Telo gazed longingly at the money before moving back to his seat. “Wait a minute… this doesn’t make any sense,” said Burns, who now wore a confused and somewhat skeptical look on his face. ”Why now? Why would the boss let us screw around for a month, then send so much dough our way for no reason?” “Who cares?” cheered Guyver. “We know almost nothing about him besides the fact that he’s really freaking random, he’s got a ton of cash, and he has a thing for weird little symbols. Maybe he’s really a very generous, kind soul? Well… he DOES call us ‘little boys’ all the time, so maybe he’s slightly perverted…?” “Really? A very generous, kind soul who pays us to run around and interfere in the lives of others in some of the most random ways ever? I doubt it,” reasoned Corski, ignoring Guyver’s theory about their contact’s possibly perverted nature. “Remember the last contract we had with that zebra?” “Oh! Ahahahaha!” laughed Guyver, as Corski reminded him. “By Celestia, you have to admit, that was some good fun right there!” “Hey… what’s this?” Porter suddenly asked, as he gestured to a small cylinder-shaped roll of paper that stuck out of the small sea of gold. Guyver pulled it out to reveal that it was a scroll, with the same symbol on its seal as the chest had on its side. “A message from the boss?” he suggested, as he fumbled around with it, trying to get it open. Shekk, growling, grabbed the scroll, and then revealed a gleaming silver griffon claw from under his cloak. He glared at Guyver, and then quickly sliced the scroll’s binding with a talon. He then tossed it back to the dark-red Earth pony, who unraveled it and began to read it out loud. Dear little boys: Hello there! How are you all doing? I realize that it has been quite some time since I’ve contacted you. Well… I believe it has been. I’ve sort of lost track of time where I am... But my apologies for that! Well, actually, I don’t care about any of your feelings at all, but saying “my apologies” is polite. That amuses me… why does anypony use politeness in their speech if they’re not going to be at all serious about it, right? But I’m going crazy right now… Just let me tell you the most important of important things that I want done. First of all, thank you all so very much for your excellent work on the last job! I’ll never forget that WONDERFULLY confounded look on that zebra’s face when she found flaming bags of Diamond Dog dung at her front door! “HAHAHAHA!!” laughed Guyver uproariously as he read the description of their previous job. Everypony else aside from Shekk began to laugh as well. Even the usually-serious Corski was chuckling. After a few moments, the air of hostility that began to form around Shekk was noticed by Corski, who immediately urged Guyver to continue. And now on to business… Now, this is a much more, uh, heavy assignment, in terms of petty morals. You know how I used to have you “remove” ponies all the time, usually in the middle of the night so they can wake up covered in whipped cream in the middle of the street or dangling from a balloon high up in the sky the next morning? Well, this time, I’m going to have you “remove” some ponies… permanently, like you used to do. You each have those wonderful irregularities of yours for a reason, after all. “…Assassination?” questioned a mystified Telo. Quizzical looks were shot between the occupants of the room as the request sunk in. It had been a while since they had been ordered to kill somepony. “Just keep reading,” directed Burns. Guyver nodded. Enclosed with this message and payment are scrolls containing the locations, as well as colored images of the six ponies that I want pushing up daisies. Or turned into daisies and then cut in half as an insignificant victim of a vicious lawn-mowing. Whichever one will stop them from EVER getting in my way again. I would recommend that you each pick a target to go after individually, as six assassins going after six ponies should, but honestly? I don’t really care. Remember: My gold is your word. Do it quickly, if possible? Though, I will allow you to play around with your food before you eat it. Good luck, my little boys! P.S.: All six of your targets are located in the wonderfully boring town of Ponyville. That’s something pretty important to know. The message was signed off with the same symbol seen on the side of the chest. Though his face was hidden under his hood, it was obvious to all present that Shekk was frustrated at the lack of sincerity that the message had been written with. “Well, that was enlightening, to say the least,” said Porter, as he mulled over what he had just heard. “Well, where is this information?” “Right here,” said Corski, as he spotted six other scrolls concealed in the midst of the bits. He pulled out and unraveled each, and laid them on the ground. He, along with his associates, observed the images on each scroll; on the first scroll, they saw an orange Earth pony with a light blonde mane and three apples as her cutie mark, who was wearing a cowpony hat; on the next, they saw a shy-looking yellow pegasus with a pink mane, who had three butterflies as her cutie mark; on the third, they saw a very jovial-looking Earth pony with a pink coat, who had a darker-pink mane, and three balloons as her cutie mark; on the fourth, they saw a very confident-looking cyan-colored pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane, who had a rainbow-colored lightning bolt erupting from a cloud as her cutie mark; on the fifth scroll, they saw a purple unicorn with a darker, almost black purple mane, which had a pinkish-purple streak through it. She had a mass of stars as her cutie mark; and finally, on the sixth, there was an image of an elegant light gray unicorn with a dark indigo mane and three diamonds as her cutie mark. Corski then began to read the names out loud in order. “Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity,” read Corski, “They don’t… look like much to me…” he opined. However, he did take note of the confident, almost arrogant expression on Rainbow Dash’s face. “Well, obviously, they’re wanted dead for a reason,” reminded Telo. “I’d guess they offended a certain somepony.” “I want the cute purple unicorn!” declared Guyver. His teammates stared at him, bemused. “What?” he asked, as he noticed the stares directed towards him. “It would only be poetic beauty when a handsome, strong stallion such as yours truly ends the life of the starlit mare… Twilight Sparkle! Oh, what a tragic, beautiful story.” “You are officially an idiot,” declared Porter. The others nodded their assent. “So, how are we going to decide who takes each of the other five?” “Hmm… does it really matter?” asked Telo. “No? Well… I’ll take the orange mare... Applejack.” “Ok. I’ll take the pink one,” decided Porter. “This… Rainbow Dash… looks like she’ll be a challenge,” said Corski. “I’ll take her down.” Guyver began to giggle. “What’s so funny?” asked the cloaked pony, who turned towards the Earth pony immediately. “Oh, ah… nothing. It’s just…. She’s like, the butch lesbian of the targets,” explained Guyver. Corski and Shekk frowned, Porter was indifferent, and Telo, Burns, and Guyver started laughing out loud. “Why would you think that?” asked a genuinely confused Corski. “I mean… just look at her!” exclaimed Guyver, “Rainbow-colored mane, tomboy-ish confidence… it’s all there.” “That’s a pretty weak basis for the argument,” Porter pointed out. “Fine. Whatever. Enjoy chasing the fillyfooler, Corski,” laughed Guyver. Corski rolled his eyes. “Alright,” said Porter loudly, quieting the laughter. “That leaves the other unicorn, Rarity, and the yellow pegasus, Fluttershy.” “I’ll go for the *cough* unicorn,” volunteered Burns. “Alright, so Fluttershy to Shekk, then. Any complaints, big guy?” asked Corski. Shekk shook his head, to the surprise of no one. He wasn’t a very picky character. “Ok, gear up, everypony. Pack some food, some water, and definitely some clothing. It gets cold out in the forest, and we don’t want any attention drawn to us in Ponyville. I’d say we’ll get there… maybe late morning or early afternoon tomorrow if we move quickly enough,” ordered Corski. “What? Are we walking? Can’t I just teleport us there?” asked Porter. “I mean, that’s my specialty…” “No. Do you think that such potent use of magic would go unnoticed by the Princesses?” said Shekk. Porter frowned, “Hmph… fine. We’ll just take the safer alternative of marching through fifteen or so miles of dense, dangerous woods then.” “Wait, 'attention'?” interrupted Guyver, referencing Corski’s previous order regarding clothing. “That’s just you and Shekk. The rest of us have nothing significantly different about us. And besides, most ponies are nudists. Won’t we draw attention by wearing clothes?” “Well, let’s see,” began Corski. “Telo has no right wing, Burns has no hair, Porter basically has a horn-shaped stone in place of where every other unicorn has a regular horn… and you lack a cutie mark,” listed Corski. “And as for the attention-drawing clothing? We could just say that we came from somewhere cold. Easy.” “Eh. I guess you have a point…” said Guyver, as he walked off. “Still, though, you’d better not forget that you and Shekk are the freakiest out of all six of us.” Corski grimaced as he realized the truth in Guyver’s words. He and Shekk were, indeed, the oddest even among these individuals, in appearance and, at times, action. He glanced at Shekk, who was staring very intently at the image of Fluttershy. In his metallic, raspy voice, he whispered at the picture of the innocent, shy pegasus: “I must break you.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia and I have a very urgent matter to discuss with you. Gather your friends as quickly as possible at the library and write back. Make haste, and be very cautious of your surroundings. Princess Luna “That’s it?” groaned an exasperated and very tired Rainbow Dash, as she finished reading the letter. “No explanation? Nothing?” “Well, obviously, it’s something very important,” said Twilight. “I’m pretty nervous that Princess Luna sent it, because that would imply that Princess Celestia is unable to.” “Yeah, I was wondering about that too. I sure hope she’s not sick or anything…” answered Dash. “Oh! That would be a bad, bad thing! That would scare me SO much!” piped Pinkie, who was hopping around her friends out of boredom. Everypony was expecting her to knock something over any minute. “Pinkie, how do you have so much energy? It’s five o’ clock in the morning,” asked Rainbow Dash. She had been forced to pull herself out of bed a little less than an hour ago by Twilight, and was still somewhat irritated at the interruption of her rest. Pinkie grinned, “Oh! Well, I just eat a lot of sugary stuff as soon as I wake up, and after a few minutes, I’m all up and about again! Candy is magic, after all!” “That… can’t be healthy darling. I would much rather be fatigued, as I am now, than completely awake off of a sugar rush,” said Rarity, who had been awakened just as early as the others by Twilight. She glanced at Fluttershy, who was gently napping on the floor. “Hey, where’s Spike?” asked the light grey unicorn, noticing the absence of the adorable and helpful baby dragon. “Upstairs, asleep. He wakes up a lot later,” explained Twilight. “In case we need to leave, I left him a note in his basket.” Rarity nodded. She couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous towards the baby dragon for being able to enjoy the sleep that she so desired. Applejack, who sat on the steps to the upper floor, then spoke up. “So what are we all doin’ here, Twi? So far, we’ve jus’ been sitting around and talkin’ ‘bout that letter o’ yours,” complained Applejack, who was on the verge of dozing off. She had almost bucked Twilight in the face when the purple unicorn had basically dragged her out of her house. “Oh! Right! I forgot. Sorry,” Twilight grinned sheepishly, then produced a piece of parchment, scribbled on it with a quill, and then rolled it up and threw it to Spike, who turned it to ash and sent it off. Applejack yawned, then facehoofed. “I have some more questions, Twilight. Why were we asked to gather here? Are we to rendezvous with someone?” asked Rarity. “And also… why did the Princess advise us to be cautious? Is there some sort of danger?” “I don’t know, Rarity. Your guess is as good as mine,” answered Twilight, as she watched Fluttershy’s prone form. “But there’s definitely something fishy going on.” Suddenly, a knock was heard at the door. The five mares looked out of the windows of the library and gasped at what they saw. There, in the middle of the street, stood a company of Luna’s royal guards, their intimidating black armor gleaming brightly in the sun. A large chariot, which would easily fit all six of the mares sat in the midst of the armored pegasi. Another knock sounded at the door. Twilight rushed to it and opened it, then looked up to see a large, older-looking royal guard, who wore a friendly smile on his face. “You’re Twilight Sparkle, manager of the Ponyville Library and apprentice to Princess Celestia, co-Ruler of Equestria, right?” he asked, his voice gruff, but not threatening in the least. Twilight nodded, “Yes, I am. And you are…?” “Sergeant Lance Advance of the Royal Guard,” he introduced. “We’re here on the order of Princess Luna, co-Ruler of Equestria, to escort you all to Canterlot via flight. It’s our top priority to ensure that nothing happens to you or your friends on the way.” “A- an armed escort? Are we in trouble or something?” asked a slightly apprehensive Rainbow Dash. Lance Advance shook his head, “No. Princess Luna ordered us to accompany you for your own safety. As you might know, there’s a rather important matter that the Princesses must discuss with you.” “Wait, is Princess Celestia alright?” asked Applejack. The smile on the sergeant’s face faded, and was replaced with a frown, “Yes,” he answered. “But things are more complicated than that. Come, let us go.” The six mares followed him out of the library and took their seats in the chariot. Four of the guards then harnessed themselves to the front of the chariot and spread their wings, and then began to fly upwards, lifting the chariot off of the ground smoothly. As they ascended towards the sky, the other guards took their places on each side of the craft. Though they were traveling to Canterlot on behalf of a serious matter, the mares (aside from Dash, who was screaming to be let off so she could speed off on her own) were rather excited at this method of travel. Pinkie Pie, especially, was cheering and tossing confetti into the air, much to the annoyance, and slight amusement, of the guards and her friends. Twilight watched the steadily approaching shape in the distance that was Canterlot, and relaxed as the winds comfortably blew through her mane. It was a glorious experience, and as they came to descend towards the shining city that was their destination, she looked back at her friends. Pinkie Pie was holding a freshly-made apple pie, which was seemingly not on her person when she had gotten on the chariot. She was handing out slices on small places to the other four mares around her, who each gladly accepted the dessert. As they talked and joked and ate, Twilight couldn’t help but feel, once again, the strong bond that she had shared with these ponies since the night they defeated Night Mare Moon. “Oh! Twilight, here’s a slice for you!” cried a happy Pinkie, who handed the purple unicorn a piece of the pie. Twilight took it appreciatively and began to bite into it. As the taste of the delicious pie began to envelop her very being, Twilight smiled, and thought, “No matter what’s thrown at us along the road, we’ll get through it.” “That’s the power of friendship, after all.”