//------------------------------// // Chapter 11: Nope! Chuck Testa. // Story: The Hacker Pwny // by Chetzi //------------------------------// August 6, 9:24 P.M. I held the warm body in my arms as she she looked deeply into my eyes. That moment seemed to last for decades. Then, out of nowhere, Jessica yells, "Hey! Lover-boy! Are you just gonna stand there, or give her some clothes?" I snapped back to reality and blushed a bit. I then mumbled, "R-right." I helped Vinyl stand up, she was very wobbly being a biped, I remember how hard it was when I was a quadruped, but she lost half of her legs, I gained legs. She found her footing, and I let go of her. She wobbled a bit, but held her stance. I gave a quick nod to Cortez, telling her to watch out for Vinyl, and raced upstairs. The best I could find, was just some of my older clothes, when I was shorter. Just a pair of old jeans, and a white tank top. What? It's not like I have panties just lying around. I'm not that creepy. I jumped off the ledge of my stairs and landed softly on my feet. Then I casually walked toward the living room. It looked like as if, time had frozen. Nothing changed since I went upstairs. I went near Vinyl, and handed out the clothes. She just gave me a confused look, and said, "You know I don't like wearing clothes. And, these look old, and not over-done like what Rarity would make." Rarity would have slapped her if she had said that with Rarity listening. "Actually, these do look kind of cool." She then moved her head a bit, then frowned. "Why can't I use magic? My horn!" She reached her hand to her forehead and felt around. She became shocked at this discovery and put her arms back down. I said, "There's no magic here. We use hands instead." She then looked at her hands, and gave the biggest, 'WTF' look ever. She then flexed her fingers, amazed at them. "I've seen something like these on Fluttershy's monkeys." "There's a very long story to go with why monkeys have them also, so I'm just going to say: we are related by ancestors." "Meh, seems legit. So then, hand me the clothes." She fumbled with her hands and fingers until she got a grip on the fabric. I let go and she held them. She then attempted to slip the shirt on, which she didn't seem to be able to do. "Let me help." I grabbed the edge of the shirt and pulled down. The rest of the tank top follow suit, and it fit quite well, if not a little baggy. I also had to help her with the jeans. They were baggy, also. I guess she would fit the social description of "attractive". Who am I kidding? She's fucking hot! Just like in the fan art. Once she was dressed and acclimatized to her new body, she said, "So, dude, where are we?" "A planet that is far too dangerous for you to stay on. We like to call it, Earth. Now, let's head back through the portal before something happ-" *BANG*Play this music in the background. "Hit the deck!" I grabbed Vinyl and threw us on the ground. Vinyl yelped and said, "That sounded like one of Pinkie's party cannons. Why are we hiding?" "Long story short, they are called guns and they will kill you if you're hit. This is why I said this place is too dangerous!" Cortez informed me, "Two targets, about 20 meters out." I nodded and crawled toward the weapons safe in the other room. I took out a care and heard more gunshots." *BANG BANG* In a panic, I threw open the safe and pulled out a small case that had 4 M9s. The door burst open, wood chunks flying everywhere. Some one with a gas mask and black fire-retardant suit had a modern flamethrower. Oh fuck. I jumped forward, slamming into the guy. He held me back as he lit the starter on the flamethrower. I grabbed the end of the gun, avoiding the pilot light, and slammed it into his face. I just hit him a few times until he was dazed. He stumbled backwards, and I yanked off his mask. I held my ground as he recovered. He then charged forward, the flamethrower pointed at me. I wondered why he just didn't flame me. He must be on full on rage mode. I spread my feet. Right before he hit me, I grabbed his midriff, using his momentum against him, and brought him overhead, straight into the ground. I slammed my foot on the flamethrower, breaking its pilot light. I don't fight people who are down, I have rules for myself. But, it didn't matter. He was out cold anyway. *BANG* I snapped my head back to the others, who were still on the ground but cleary scared. I grabbed the case and rolled to them. My hand grasped the latch and pulled it open. Before anyone could get a gun, there was the sound of a helicopter. I put my head up, against my better judgement, and saw a armed-to-the-teeth attack helicopter. My eyes went wide and I yelled, "EVERYONE IN THE PORTAL NOW!" We all jumped up and throw ourselves into the portal. Bentley was first, followed closely by Jessica, then by Cortez. Vinyl just laid there, terrified. I leaped up, and dragged her with me into the portal. I did the same as before, shooting through space, but this was different. No, not different, just this time I noticed more. My brain felt like it was being teared apart, memory by memory. It wasn't painful, just strange. Then I realized I was losing my memory. I tried my best to keep it in, but it was futile. What the fuck just happened? Why do I feel so strange? Where am I? Everything was dark, until I opened my eyes. I was in some biome of plains, but it didn't look normal, it looked cartoony. Odd, I tried to get up, but I couldn't. My eyes darted downward, and I wasn't in my normal human body. I was in some bright green... horse body? Even weirder, this somehow feels familiar. I shakily stood up, taking note of my new hooves. How odd. Wait, this almost looks like... Equestria. Another dream? Unlikey, I don't dream about ponies. I walked across the grass a bit, confused and with nothing better to do. I found a cement road, and headed down the path. To Bentley's point of view. My eyes quickly fluttered open, with me breathing in deeply. I jumped to feet, and landed on a wall. The first thing I noticed was everything was white, then objects and other colors slowly came into view. I was in a small room, with an odd bed-looking thing, a toilet, and a few other misc. things. Then a robotic, female voice said, "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak." I looked to my left, and found a pink and white cube with a heart on it. I feel like I've seen this before, but I just can't think straight right now. How did I even get here? To Jessica's point of view. Ughhhhhh, what just happened? Where am I? I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. The floor was cold and metallic as I attempted to get up. I put my hand on a nearby wall and pulled myself up. It was very dark, but I could still make out what's in the room. It looked like a futuristic space room, with a fancy desk and beds. I trudged over to the desk and put my hands on it. It felt wet, and I brought the substance to my nose. It was blood. My heart froze as my skin went pale. I fell backwards and crawled away. I breathed heavily for a few seconds until I regained my composure. I'm not afraid of blood, but what was I doing here? What was I doing right before this? I can't remember anything about this place. I looked over to my left, there was a large blood mark on the wall. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up at this discovery. I inched over to the desk again, feeling my hand over the objects there. I felt something metal, shaped like a square, with a hole in the middle. I felt around the hole, it was big enough for me to grip onto it. I held up the object like a gun, but it looked more like a nail gun. I felt around the grip on it, and found a small button. I clicked it, and 3 blue lasers shot out. Not like a gun, like a laser pen. They were in a vertical line, all in direct order. I moved the object around a bit, and the lasers followed. It was like some kind of targeting system. I then something shuffling behind me, and a low moan. I spun around, to see some... thing. It smelled of dead bodies and had long blades sticking out of its arms. I couldn't see much, but one word came to mind: Necromorph. To Crotez's point of view. My head spun as I attempted to stand up. My eyes shifted open, looking at my surroundings. Out of nowhere, a robotic voice said, "Shepard-commander, I'm hit! Requesting assistance." I swung my head toward the sound to reveal a humanoid robot, that was black and had red stripes with a logo that said 'N7' on it. I heard gunshots and ducked down by a pillar. I looked around, and I was on some planet that was very dry and bright. There were white buildings in shambles all around me. Then another gruff unhuman-like voice said, "Yeah! Right on your ass!" There was a bang, and something went sent flying. I snapped my head toward the sound, and found some odd... thing. It was big, and in heavy armor. And lastly, to Vinyl's point of view. I snapped open my eyes, looking around me. My body felt like it did before I went through the portal for the first time. I had my hooves and pony body back. I looked around, it was the town hall in Ponyville. It was like as if, nothing had happened, but I remember being in that strange new body, with Neon. Wait, where's neon? A/N: Vinyl kept her memory because she is different.