I was only twenty-and-a-half years old. I loved Princess Molestia so much. I had all of her fan-made artwork, and all of her illegal and banned toys and merchandise.
Every night, I would kneel by my bed, and say a prayer, thanking Molestia for the life I had been blessed with.
"Molestia is love", I would say. "Molestia is life."
One night, my dad overheard me while putting on his naughty Catholic schoolgirl costume, and he called me a 'faggot'.
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Princess Molestia.
So, I turned my head to look at him, and I called him a 'silly man'.
My dad fires an elastic rubber band at my face, and tells me to go to sleep.
I lay on my bed. I am crying now, and I lost my only elastic rubber band.
Suddenly, my bedroom gets warm, and I notice a bright light shining behind me. I turn over on my bed to see what it was.
And I saw Princess Molestia.
I was so happy.
Princess Molestia leans forward to my ear, and she whispers to me, "It's raping time."
She uses her magical powers to lift me up, and put me on my hands and knees. I am ready.
She magically summons a banana, and she sticks it in between my butt cheeks. It's a stale banana, so it hurts, and my eyes begin to water. But I take the pain anyway. I want to please Molestia. She is love. She is life.
Princess Molestia lets out a mighty "I CAME!", and squeezes hard on the banana, filling my entire butt with mushy banana. My dad comes into my room, now dressed as a Thai prostitute. Princess Molestia looks at him straight in the eyes, and says to him, "I got this idea from a Shrek video".
She opens her wings, and she flies right out the window, leaving a rainbow trail behind her, as numerous birds start falling dead from the sky.
I'm still laying on my bed, banana mush drippIng from my butt hole.
Princess Molestia is love. Princess Molestia is life.