Lesson Learned
By
Inky Shades
In silence, I sit in the Crystal Palace conference room. The floor is hard and uncomfortable, but it offers me a false sense of safety. In the shadow of the corner, I’m shielded from the light. It can’t touch me, it can’t hurt me, and it can’t see me. Of course, I know her light can pierce through my barrier as if it were made of paper and not steel. In all honesty, this is just a feeble attempt to avoid the inevitable, but then again, I chose to enter this situation myself, didn’t I?
A chill travels through my forehead as I rest against the wall’s crystalline surface. I close my eyes, trying to calm myself down, as if the act of not seeing would somehow improve my circumstances, but my heart continues to pound in frantic desperation. I wouldn’t be surprised if somepony said they could hear it, too. My mind wanders. I try to stop it, but it’s too late. I think of the one thing I didn’t want to think about: Why did I come back?
Of course I know my answer. It hasn’t changed, not even now. I want to face my judgement. That’s why I came back with Twilight. That’s why I walked into Celestia’s hooves, but now I have time to think. I wonder if my decision wasn’t rash, a choice that, in the heat of the moment, makes sense, but later turns out to be a mistake. These were just excuses. I made the right decision, right?
Thump, thump. My heart tells me something different. No, I need to do this. It’s too late for me to lose my resolve now. Still, I have to admit, I fear my coming judgement. What will Princess Celestia do to me? Banish me to some goddess forsaken realm? Perhaps I’ll receive a permanent residence in the dungeon below her castle in Canterlot? Or, maybe, something more physical, something that would make me wish for banishment or imprisonment? There’s no telling what kind of fate awaits me.
I’m sure most ponies would consider my line of thinking strange. Ponies would say, “How could you think of the princess like that?” Or “The princess would never do such a thing!” Yes, I could hear the questions plain as day, and in their own right, they were valid. However, those same ponies, unlike me, didn’t have as intimate of a relationship with her. Being her former student, I knew what the princess was capable of, beyond what normal text books would say.
Celestia is benevolent. This is a fact that can’t be disputed. Yet, she is still a monarch, and all the duties of a monarch apply to her. Meaning, she has to protect Equestria and all its inhabitants from those who mean to do harm, like me. I’m the pony who threatened her beloved Equestria. What concerns me is that the books never say how far she’d go to protect her country, but I do know. She’d do anything to keep Equestria safe. My only hope is that she grants me mercy, but I have my doubts and I’m not sure if I’d deserve it even if she offered.
I’d planned to invade Equestria with an army. Admittedly, the army had been composed of teenagers, but still. My intentions were to wrench control away from Celestia, treason of the highest degree. Why would she show mercy to me? Why should she? I never showed Twilight mercy during the Fall Formal. I threw everything at my disposal at her, and yet, because of her friends, she still managed to triumph over me.
“Friends” is a concept that always eluded me. Sure, Snips and Snails were by my side at all times, but I wouldn’t call them friends. Flunkies would be a better term or maybe acquaintances, if I were feeling generous, but friends, no. From the moment I abandoned the princess’s teachings, I’ve never had somepony to consider a friend. Friends just got in the way. Power meant everything. However, now I wished I had somepony here. Somepony to tell me everything would be okay, but should the worst happen, I’d have nopony.
I had nopony to blame for my loneliness but myself. Maybe if I’d just been nicer and stuck with the princess’s teachings then, perhaps, my current predicament could’ve been avoided. Could I still change? I think I could. Maybe… No, it’s too late for me. It had to be.
Across from me, I hear the door open, sounding the arrival of my judgement. From the corner of my eye, I see a harsh yellow, the light from the hall. I lift my head from its resting place, turning in a slow, deliberate manner; Celestia’s imposing white frame comes into focus. The princess steps inside the room. Her horn glows a soft yellow as she uses her magic to close the door. The room dims, but the moonlight pouring through the windows keeps it lit enough.
I try to read the princess’s face, but her features are neutral, keeping hidden anything she might be feeling. “Sunset Shimmer,” the princess says, voice just as neutral as her face. This couldn’t bode well for me.
It’s time to discard my broken shield. I step out of my darkness and into the light. I do my best to remain calm, but my hooves shake as I approach her. “Y-Yes, Princess, I… I’m here.”
“I’ve made my decision,” Princess Celestia says. I wish I could hear some hidden meaning in her tone, but her voice is even. “But before we get to that, I want to know something. Why did you come back?”
Blinking a few times, I wonder if I heard her right. Did she just ask me why? If she’s already made her mind up about me then why does she want to know? I came back to face her, but did I want something more, too? Could there have been more to my actions than I originally thought? Perhaps I wanted justification or maybe forgiveness. As I stand before the princess, my mind goes blank.
The princess focuses on me, awaiting my answer. Under her gaze, I feel bare. It’s like she sees everything about me. I knew any lie I came up with would be discerned before ever leaving my lips. In horror, I realize I don’t know what to say.
“Princess, I…” I have to say something, anything. Anything had to be better than nothing. “I…” Why can’t I think of anything to say? Would it even make a difference? I know, once the princess makes up her mind, there is no way to change it. My vision blurs. Finally, I have something. “I’m sorry,” I cry, collapsing to the floor.
“Why are you sorry?”
I peer up at her. For a second, I think I see pity flash through her eyes, but I can’t be certain. In all likelihood, it’s just the darkness playing with my sight. “I did something wrong, unforgiveable,” I say.
“Have you stopped?”
I nod my head, wiping the tears from my face. “Yes.” my voice is barely louder than a whisper.
“What changed?” The princess sits down, expecting to hear a long story. At least that’s what I assume. I’m not sure if I have a long one to tell.
My thoughts reach back to the night of the Fall Formal. I see the image of a lavender hand reaching down towards me. “Twilight helped me up,” I say.
The princess raises her eyebrows. I don’t think she expected my answer. “Why was this significant?” she asks.
There are so many questions. Why couldn’t she just put me out of my misery instead of torturing me by prolonging the inevitable? My words meant nothing next to my crimes, anyway. Did she just want to toy with me before dealing out my fate? Is she that cruel? I guess I could play her game.
“Before then, in the human world, no one ever offered me their hand. Not that I cared. I always thought I could do everything myself. Who needed friends, right?” I pause, looking for a sign that I should stop. She motions me to continue.
“I wanted power, and friends were just an obstacle on my way to it. By cutting myself off from everyone, I took away what I perceived as a weakness. Eventually I succeeded. For a brief moment, I had the power I craved. I felt unstoppable. Yet, even with all my power, Twilight and her friends still stopped me. That’s when it dawned on me.
“Twilight won because her friends gave her a strength that far exceeded my own. Despite all I had done in my search for power, everything unraveled because she had friends, I didn’t. It was ironic, what I perceived as weakness played a key role in defeating me. As I started climbing out the crater, Twilight held her hand towards me, and I realized something.
“Maybe I was wrong. I had tried to destroy her, but she had still offered me her hand! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Neither could her friends. I could tell. They thought she had to be crazy for helping me. Of course they had every right to be apprehensive about me. I’d be suspicious of me, too.
“Right then, I knew for certain that I was wrong. Everything I ever did and everything I ever taught myself, wrong. It was quite the shock. I realized if I just stuck with your teachings all those years ago then I could have avoided everything, but I was a fool. And that realization came too late.” I stop when I see the princess raise a hoof.
“I think I’ve heard enough,” Celestia says. “Are you ready to hear my decision?”
I close my eyes in preparation for the worst. I nod. Deep down, I hope she’s merciful.
“Sunset Shimmer,” she says with an authoritative tone, “as punishment for your crimes, I—”
“Princess Celestia, stop!” I recognize that voice. Opening my eyes, I see Twilight standing in the doorway. Why is she here?
Celestia turns to face her protégé. “Twilight, why have—”
“I’m sorry, Princess, but I can’t let you punish Sunset Shimmer.”
Did I hear her right? Did she just stand up to the Princess on my behalf? You could’ve heard a pin drop on the floor, it was so quiet. I didn’t know what to do. Thank her? Continue to stare like an idiot at her? Why would she do this?
My vision blurs again and I feel something warm and wet slide down my cheeks. It takes me a moment to realize I’m crying, but I don’t want to cry. Not in front of Twilight. She’s seen me cry before; I don’t want her to see it again.
“Twilight, I’ve made my—”
“Princess, she’s changed! She’s not who she was in the human world—”
“Twilight, if you’ll just—”
"I’m sorry, Princess, but I can’t. She deserves a second chance! Wasn’t it you who taught me that ponies who are genuinely sorry should be offered forgiveness? Please, Princess! She’s—”
“That’s enough, Twilight,” Celestia says, silencing Twilight immediately. I swear I could see the princess’s lips curl into the smallest of smiles. “I’ve taught you well, my faithful student, but my decision is final and it can’t be changed.”
Twilight lowers her head in defeat. I catch a glimpse from her. She looks at me like she has failed me somehow. It’s difficult to make out, but I can see her mouth the words, “I’m sorry.” Why does she feel sorry? I’m in this situation because of me, not her. I’m the failure.
Wiping the snot from my nose, I realize I must look terrible. Goddess, could Celestia get my punishment over with already? I don’t want Twilight having to continue seeing my pitiful visage.
“Sunset Shimmer,” the princess says. “I hereby sentence you to serve Twilight Sparkle as her apprentice.”
“What?” I blink a few times in confusion. Did I hear her right?
"Oh… you were just—and I overreacted and”—Twilight blushes—“I’m sorry, Princess. Did you say apprentice?”
Celestia nods. “It’s okay, Twilight. I did. You’ve grown so much since you became my student all those years ago. I think it’s time for you to have a student yourself. That is, if you’ll accept the task.”
Twilight looks at me and smiles. Walking towards me, she says, “I’d be honored to accept this task, Princess.” I feel her wrap me in a tight embrace.
My eyes are wide; I’m not sure when I last blinked. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I don’t deserve this. Why? Tears continue to roll down my cheeks. I’m no longer sure if they’re from sadness or happiness. My fore hooves feel like they have a mind of their own. They inch towards Twilight, eventually returning the embrace.
I want to thank Twilight, I want to thank the Princess, but all that comes out of my mouth is a half-chocked sob.
“It’s okay,” Twilight says, stroking the back of my mane.
In the corner of my eye, I see Princess Celestia. A question forms in the back of my mind. With difficulty, I’m able to form a single word. “Why?” It’s all I needed to say. For the first time tonight, I lock eyes with the princess.
Celestia smiles at me. “It’s because I saw the change in your eyes. After all this time, you’ve finally learned my lesson. You learned the value of friendship.”