//------------------------------// // Chapter 13: Crashing // Story: The Monster that is Me // by Terrahex //------------------------------// o-----[ Chapter 13: Crashing ]-----------------------o “They’re here!” I heard Saf exclaim as I tromped up the metal steps. Each of my hooves felt weighed down by a lead shoe, but I forced myself to quicken my pace before All-Smith had the chance to complain about me moving too slow again. The gaudy scent of simmering food was thick in the air, and when I emerged from the metal stairway, I was unsurprised to find a metal pot on the stove above a blue flame. Saf stood before it, stirring gently with a wooden spoon held in her fetlock. "You two are just in time!" Saf squealed. "Soup's on!" Saf smiled broadly, stirring the sickening concoction with a wooden spatula. Davenport sat at the table, facing the entrance. "She showed up at my door with a bag full of vegetables, wanting to make soup. Really, it's quite cute that she'd go to all this trouble..." He trailed off when he saw the somber look shared by our faces. "We've got a problem." All-Smith spoke curtly. "Problem?" Saf's ears flattened against her skull, spinning around with poorly concealed fright. When she spoke, it sounded little more than whining. "What do you mean ‘problem’?" "It's that bug that's been going around." I looked to the floor. "I-I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but the ponies who-" "It makes ponies lose their love." All-Smith interrupted. A stony expression came over Davenport's face. "What do you mean 'losing their love'?" "We passed the Golden Carrot on the way here.” All-Smith scowled. “Cloud Chaser was at one of the one of the tables. She had so little love, she was completely colorless, and I couldn't see or feel anything from her. In fact..." She glanced toward me. For the first time, I saw a bit of hesitance on her face. "I... I couldn't see her at all, not until I was looking for awhile." “But I was just working with her hardly an hour ago!" Saf raised a forehoof, her eyes wide. "Was she dead?" "No." All-Smith shook her head. "Of that much I'm certain. She was definitely breathing." "She had no love and was still alive?" Davenport glared at nothing in particular. "Are you absolutely sure?" All-Smith returned the glare. "I told you what I saw." "I saw her, too." I nodded. Ponies thrive on their love for each other. It strengthens them tremendously, like steroids that a pony literally needs to live, but to use another pony's love, ponies needed to have love of their own. "She didn't even have enough love to interact with her sister." "I've never heard of a sickness that made a pony lose her love." Saf looked around nervously. "Neither have I." Davenport affirmed. "Could there be another changeling in town?" Saf shook her head. "The first pony got sick just over two weeks ago, and I've been on pretty active weather duty lately. I probably would've noticed if there was somepony new by now... Well, that is if she doesn't stay indoors all day." "I have a job." I countered defensively. "I just happen to live in the same place so there's no commute... and I don't actually stay inside all day." "You're missing the point." All-Smith interrupted before Saf could respond. "If nopony new is in town, then it has to be one of us." She left it open ended, but her glare made it abundantly clear who she thought it was. "Me?" I took a step back before I felt comfortable returning her glare. "I was in the library when all of this happened. If anypony here could've done it, it would be you." "Me?" All-Smith closed the distance between us, nose only inches from mine. "Don't you dare suggest I'd pull something as stupid as this." "I don't see who else could have! Saf and Davenport were here for the last hour. The only pony unaccounted for was you." All-Smith's amber eyes were full of putrid hate. "You little insect! I'll have you know my forge means everything to me! Don't even think for a second-" "All right!" Saf yelled, forcing herself between the two of us. By then we’d been standing so close that any onlookers could assume we were a couple. "That's enough from the both of you." "I have to agree." Davenport agreed in that authoritative voice that came from higher blood. Directed partially at me, my ears sunk reflexively. "I'm firmly convinced nopony here could, or would, do something like this. Turning against each other isn't going to serve anything." There was a quiet few moments, the only sound in the room the independent breathing of each body until All-Smith turned away from me with a ‘hmph’, sitting heavily on a cushion around the table. Though I opened my mouth, the air wasn’t right for anything I could say. All-Smith gave an uncharacteristically defeated sigh. “You three do realize what this means, don’t you?” She first looked at Davenport, seated to her left, then Saf, then finally me. “As soon as somepony realizes that the colorless ponies are missing their love, the first thing they’re going to think of is changelings.” Her gaze fell to the faux wood surface of the table. “That means us.” "And then they'll come searching." I bit my lip. Costs had been too high to screen the entirety of Equestria right after the battle, but a single town wasn't unfeasible. Even worse, I was living with the pony who would likely be the one to cast the spell that would identify me. “We don’t know that!” Saf . “Twilight left for the hospital this morning as a medical consultant.” I sat at the table across from All-Smith. Davenport brooded, “If I know Twilight Sparkle,and it was once was my job to know her, she’ll find out eventually. Love isn't a very well researched subject, but Twilight Sparkle is not just any pony.” I knew Twilight Sparkle as well. "All this talk of doom and gloom is going to make me sick." Saf muttered under her breath. "Yeah." I agreed, becoming conscious of the terrible scent wafting through the air. It was almost like love, but it's similarity only made it more disgusting to realize that it wasn't. "Throw that stuff away already." Saf's head shot up. "My soup!" She spun around, turning off the heat and stirring viciously. "Of course," Davenport tried to laugh, "This could all be just some new sickness that the good doctors of Ponyville General are hard at work curing. We could all be worrying over nothing." "Yeah." I agreed solemnly. "Nothing." All-Smith opened her mouth, a single syllable making it out before she shut it again with a frown. It had been nearly a month since my move to Ponyville. With all the close calls I've had, it felt... wrong to have to worry about something like this. I could learn from a mistake, better myself, but there was no bright side to being exposed that way. "Okay, I think the soup is alright." My thoughts were interrupted as Saf's wing extended before me, dropping a hot bowl of an unidentifiable mixture before me. Uneven chunks of pale, mushy vegetables lazily lounged alongside lengthy noodles in a white, creamy broth. I could feel a fit of dry heaves coming on. "I'm not eating this." I pushed the bowl away. I didn't want to be rude, but vomiting at Davenport's kitchen table seemed infinitely more offensive than refusing Saf's cooking. There comes a point in a changeling's life when she has to stand up for herself and defend her principles. "Yes you are." Saf frowned as she placed an identical bowl before Davenport. "If you want to act like a normal pony, you've got to eat like a normal pony. This is the first step of acclimating yourself to pony food. The mushy-ness of vegetable soup help it go down." This was the first step? For the first time, I realized that eating food like a regular pony meant I actually had to eat the food. This was looking more and more like a mistake. Saf deposited another bowl before All-Smith, whose neutral features momentarily shared my look of revulsion before reverting to its natural state, before sitting down with her own bowl. "This has to be the first time I've ever had a full table." Davenport smiled. "We've talked about enough depressing things today." "I agree." Saf's smile returned. "There's no point in worrying about it now. Let's enjoy whatever time we have." "You did..." All-Smith was wearily looking at the sludge before her. "You did taste test this, didn't you?" "I followed the directions." Saf pouted. "Theoretically, there should be nothing wrong with it." "That's what you said about your carrot-applesauce." "Hey!" Saf pouted. "In my defense, Carrot Top's crush on Applejack tastes good." “I’m not suffering an upset stomach on your behalf.” “I concur.” I meekly raised my voice in agreement. “You don’t have a choice in this matter!” Saf brandished her spoon menacingly at me. "I made this soup for you, and you will eat it." “I've got to admit..." Davenport mumbled, spoon in mouth. "It’s not… terrible.” All-Smith turned to him. “You’re either brave or stupid!” “I followed the directions!” Saf slammed her hoof on the table. “Now eat the damn soup!” “Hmph…” All-Smith crossed her forehooves. “Fine.” Saf frowned. “Don’t for all I care. See if I do something nice for you ever again.” She stabbed her spoon into the soup and stuck it in her mouth. “What’s it taste like?” I inquired curiously. Saf sniffed pitifully. “Like Raindrops’s love when she’s having a bad day.” “Anyway,” Davenport pushed his bowl away, “Anypony have anything else they’d like to talk about today?” I started to speak. Those repressed questions about my feelings for Twilight were starting to resurface now that I had the chance to get a few answers. Then again... As the three of them expectantly turned toward me, I really didn't want to make myself look any more stupid than I already looked. I already must seem so inexperienced to them. I wanted to be seen as an equal rather than somepony who needed to be babied. “Well?” Davenport asked expectantly. “Uhm…” I blushed. “N-nevermind. It’s something I’d rather talk to Saf about. You know mare-to-mare.” Saf grumbled in her foul mood. I looked to Davenport. "Though I could use some help with my teeth." "Your teeth?" "Colgate roped me into a dental appointment this morning. I want to make sure there's nothing wrong with my mouth." "Ah." Davenport nodded understandably. "I think I can help with that." .-~*~-. The rest of the meeting passed slowly. Davenport brought out cards and we continued talking around a game of poker, a game I had to be taught how to play before losing every hoof. I felt bad not eating Saf’s soup after she put so much effort into it, so I tried to consume at least a single spoonful of the sludgy soup. It went about as well as I had expected. When we finally disbanded at seven, the introvert in me felt exhausted from the social pressure. Still, as I left I couldn't help but ask, "What if it isn't a virus?" "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Davenport replied. "For now, there's nothing we can do. We just have to be on the lookout." "You're right under Twilight's nose." Saf spoke quietly. "If Twilight starts looking for us..." She shook the thought from her head. "nevermind." "We'll get through this." All-Smith snarled. “I’m not going to just lie down and take what’s coming. This is my home.” Home. Parting on those words, I found myself walking back to the library. The sun had been hanging in the sky for shorter and shorter lengths of time, and it was nearly touching the horizon now. As I understood it, that was a sign of the changing seasons. It's strange how much I missed from spending my whole life in the hive. I could understand All-Smith's apprehension. The hive was safe, yes, but it was so much less than what I had now. Besides my fellow couriers, I found it hard to put a name to the face of a single other changeling in the hive, much less whether they preferred flying or walking or if they could do magic tricks or if they were obsessed with mythical creatures. I didn't even have a mom in the hive. Never before had I felt the joys of a maternal bond, of somepony I could trust over all others. In the hive, I'd never starve, yet love was made all the sweeter by those it came from. The hive had a library, yet only the queen and her advisors were able to use it. The hive was supposed to be my family, but only in ponyville had I ever felt like I could trust my kin. I made a decision that late-summer dusk. I'm never going to return to the hive. Deep down inside, some part of me always wanted to return, to fill that lonely corner of my mind that was reserved for the presence of my brothers and sisters. Perhaps I'd never be free of that longing, but now I had something else: friendship. I was surrounded by ponies who were genuinely happy just to have me around, and nothing was worth sacrificing that, not even a decent night's sleep. The library was before me now. I passively put a hoof against the door and pushed. I had expected the door to open easily, and when it didn't, I found my nose smashed against the candle painted on the top half of the door. "Ow..." I rubbed my poor nose. I took a step back and reevaluated the situation. The door was locked? As absorbed in my thoughts as I was, I had forgotten that I locked the door behind me when I left with All-Smith. But Twilight should have returned by now. A cursory glance revealed each of the windows were dark. Why wasn't she home? As worrying as that question's answer could be, I had a more immediate problem to deal with, namely being locked out of the library. Twilight very rarely locked her door and for good reason. Ponyville was a sleepy town; trouble more often came from outside rather than in, and the only reason I'd locked the door was habit carried over from some of the less well-off towns I've lived in the past few months. Well, the solution to this was easy enough. About a week after I moved in, Spike showed me where they kept the spare key. Standing on my hind legs, I slid my forehoof along the top of the curved door frame until it met a divot... The divot was empty. "W-what?" I slid my hoof along the rest of the door frame and found no other divots before returning to search the one I'd originally found. A more thorough search of the small space revealed nothing new. "Where could it have..." I backed up a few paces before it occurred to me. "Trixie!" Even weeks after she turned the library upside-down, that stupid stunt Trixie pulled was still biting me in the flank. At this juncture I had several options available to me. I could wait for Twilight to show up, though if she wasn't home by now, there was no telling when she could get back. I could try to magic the door open, but the same concerns applied now as they did every other time I tried to use magic. I could give myself wings and fly up to Twilight's balcony, but transforming in the open left a bad stain on my tongue. With the emotionally draining day I've had, part of me just wanted to break the door down and be done with it, but I've never been the 'deal with it later' type. That left one other option. Approaching a window, I peered into the empty and dimming interior of the library. Gauging that it was sufficiently late, I knocked a few times on the pane until a dark shape swooped down from the stairs and perched inside window sill. Large yellow eyes regarded me curiously. "Hey Owlowiscious." I smiled sheepishly. "Do you mind opening the door for me? I accidentally locked myself out." The owl hooted in response, muffled by the pane between us. He quickly opened his wings and flew out of view. Hardly five seconds later, I heard the click of the lock on the door. Smiling widely, I pushed the door open. "Thanks." I said, stepping into the darkened library. Owlowiscious flew to his perch next to the window and hooted. "I owe you a..." I couldn't really think of anything the owl could want. Owls were pretty independent creatures; all Twilight had to do to take care of him was leave a window open at night so he could come and go as he pleased. "Well, I guess I just owe you one." He hooted in response. I lit a lantern and busied myself cleaning up the books I had taken out in my frantic search for answers earlier that day. If ponies didn't know much about love, I doubt I'd find anything useful in the library. Hopefully Saf would have some answers for me next time we spoke.