Tress sat a table with three other earth ponies simply having an enjoyable day, taking the day off from doing anything wild or frantic felt nice. She hoped nothing happened to Twilight or Barb at the library. Smart was already on the case for Fluttershy in finding out more about the flightless little pegasus.
“So then you two aren’t doing anything exciting for a while?” Bonbon was a bit curious as she’s always seen Twilight and Tress together and like them she was always hanging out with Lyra. She was spending time with Cheerilee, Tress and a surprisingly sober Berry Punch.
“The two of us needed a break from all the shenanigans life throws our way, as such today Twilight is just spending some quality time with her daughter. So Berry Punch what brings you to Sugar Cube Corner? It’s incredible enough that you seem particularly sober today.” Tress and her friends were snacking as they sat there socializing and Pinkie kept the friendly non alcoholic drinks coming.
“The Hoof Boxing competitions are coming up, I have to be sober or they won’t let me compete this year. Can you believe that?” Berry Punch loved to fight and every pony in Ponyville knew you never pick a fight with Berry Punch, especially since she can down even a minotaur in one round of boxing. She loved fighting almost as much as she loved getting drunk, much to her daughters’ chagrin that her mother was a lush and a very friendly one at that. Friendly until you upset her in any given way that is, never has a single pony taken advantage of Berry Punch and no one dared to flirt with or even touch her wife Colgate Aquafresh Romana inappropriately.
Tress wasn’t very surprised to hear this news from a pony that could take her on and win. This was even if Tress were at her full power and using her super powers to their fullest; Berry Punch could still win by the virtue of being an unpredictable mare while intoxicated off her flank.
Berry Punch was stated as being completely immune to almost all of the negative side effects of alcohol except for the getting drunk part; her special talents were wine making, fighting and almost constantly being drunk. She was one of the top tier trainers at the Ponyville dojo when she wasn’t selling wine. She was always pleased to show the advanced students just why exactly she was happily married to a dentist of all ponies. Her wife was a little less pleased about the destruction of teeth.
“If you’re competing I better not join in then.” Whimpered a big white muscle bound pegasus stallion that heard Berry’s exclamation. Bulk Biceps liked boxing too and despite being bigger and seemingly more physically capable looking, he wasn’t nearly suicidal enough to get into the ring with Berry.
“Hey Snowflake, how are the muscles doing you lately?” Tress commented dryly. The big guy was willing to drop out just because of a mare that was a lot smaller than him and not anywhere near his weight class? Berry must have had a bigger legend behind her then Tress thought she did.
“They are doing awesomely Ms. Ravel, YEAH! Do you mind if I join you?” All the mares made a space for the big bulky pegasus with tiny wings to sit down. It was hard to believe the guy wasn’t on steroids and has been drug tested relentlessly because of his muscle mass when it came to sports.
“Where were we again? Ah yes, Berry Punch is going on a Hoof Boxing tour and at a guess she’s always going to have her wife worrying about her teeth the entire time. Tress is taking a break from the troubles she keeps taking on with being Twilight’s best friend. Bonbon has been making some new super sour candies. So what are we to talk about next?” Every pony was looking to the school teacher for the next topic, Cheerilee rubber the back of her head feeling self conscious. “What is it? Why are all of you staring at me?”
“Come on Cheers, we all know you should ask out Big Mac. He has even been fancying Fluttershy lately, the only reason why you don’t have to worry is because she’s into mares. Quite frankly Rarity’s attempts to set her up with him are getting more laughable by the day. Big Mac knows she’s not interested, but Rarity is pretty insistent they’d be a cute couple. I think Ms. Fashion has had one too many romance novels and the only reason why I haven’t stopped her yet is because she’s not forcing any pony to do anything. That and it’s sort of funny to watch Fluttershy waffling about telling Rarity that she’s gay.” It wasn’t hard to see the writing on the wall, as Tress just watched Pinkie finished scribbling Mac and Cheers inside of a big heart in crayon. Shrugging she just bit down on her mango flavored cupcake, while every pony else was staring at the smiling Pinkie who ran off to get them some refills on their drinks.
“Hey Bulk, do you want anything?” Pinkie was an employee as much as she was a daughter to Mr. and Mrs. Cake of the sugary snack factory and was always found here unless there was a party going on. She was the hostess that ponies came to just for her to brighten their day with even the simplest of smiles.
“YEAH, I’d like some apple juice and a raspberry muffin.” Bulk knew he should cut back on his excitability a bit when he got a glare from the mares at the table for his yelling. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it Snowflake.” Tress just closed her eyes and could imagine ripping out his vocal chords in a violent manner; she wouldn’t because he was a good friend. “So if the teacher here doesn’t want to talk about dating who she’s completely in love with. How about we talk about Bulk’s love life? So, have you found a lucky stallion big buddy?”
“No.” Bulk immediately looked depressed; he was having a hard time finding a stallion that could fit to his generally gentle nature. Even if he did have huge musculature, he was a really nice guy in general who liked pressing flowers and macramé.
“You’ll find some pony special to you some day, you’ll see. I’ll even club them over the head for you because you certainly won’t. I’ll do enough brain damage to make sure they’ll never hurt or do wrong by a large softie like you.” Tress was serious in wanting to help Bulk. She patted him on the shoulder and even made note that he and Fluttershy were really good friends because they both had similar hobbies. He truly reminded her of her minions back in the comic oddly enough.
“The best solution to your problem is to go out drinking with a bunch of other stallions. Who knows, you might even get lucky that one of them won’t try to question their nature too heavily or run off screaming if they wake up in your bed.” Berry met her wife through drinking; she really didn’t see why it couldn’t work for the big lug too.
“I wouldn’t follow that advice Bulk; maybe a newspaper article of a big bulky pegasus wanting to meet a kind hearted male being to share a life with. You don’t necessarily need to date a pony, there’s a whole world full of fish that breathe the same air you do, you just need to get out there and swim around a bit.” Bonbon would know as she’s found love in Lyra, she always thought it was cute how awkward or weird Lyra got around her. She thought the unicorn was cute in her attempts to hide her love whenever she was around and has yet to do anything because of that factor.
“I vote for Bonbon’s approach, date around a bit if you can find some willing stallions.” Tress was not an expert on love; she was a supportive friend nonetheless.
“I second that notion.” Cheerilee wanted to toss her lot in with Bonbon’s idea. She thought Bulk looked cute by the way he was blushing at their conversation. He was practically one of the mares and fit in with their group well enough.
“Oh easy for you guys to say, Tress is practically glued to Twilight to the point of being one of those odd Siamese pony things and Cheerilee is just constantly dancing around her attraction to Big Mac. Don’t even get me started on how Bonbon should just tell Lyra that she should stop acting so darn shy and kiss her already!” Berry Punch didn’t like being sober because common sense really hurt her brain.
“Uh… say what now?” Tress didn’t even understand what Berry Punch was trying to say. Though she was pretty aware of her nature, Twilight wasn’t aware of hers yet and still had to figure that out. “I think you’re reading too far into my relationship Mrs. I married the first pony to bed me after a night of intense drinking. I figure if love happens, it’ll happen and there will be no stopping it when it does. Otherwise I’m not in love with my best friend and happen to be bisexual as best I can tell.”
“You just mean you aren’t in love with her ‘yet’. Also that was the best night I’ve ever had in all my life too! Even if I can’t repeat it, Colgate will never let me forget it. I got her pregnant due to what we did that night.” Berry stated jovially, she was the oldest mare here and darn proud of it and her family.
“I swear I’m still not even sure if it was scientifically possible for you two to even have little Ruby Pinch Punch, considering you said no spells were used in the conception of your daughter and you’re both mares. There was no stallion in the equation at all and the medical tests confirmed that.” Quite frankly Cheerilee didn’t know how it could have possibly worked. She figured it would be only Berry that could find a way, especially while she was drunk.
“Hey, what can I say? It certainly surprised my wife too and we’re both happier for it anyway.” Berry’s ears twitched and she turned to the door at the specific sound of two sets of clopping hooves. Her daughter and the love of her life were here. She gave a bright smile; at least something was keeping her calm while she was sober. She soon stood up and made for her family. “I’m out, peace ya’ll.”
“I think I like her better when she’s blind stinking drunk.” It was an odd thing for Tress to admit to the group as Berry left.
“I agree that she’ll be better after all the Hoof Boxing is over with.” Not that Bonbon would ever say that Berry was a little cranky without her spirits.
Pinkie popped up with Bulk Biceps’ order, today had been a really busy day in the snacking bakery and it was positively crowded. That was just how the hyperactive peppy super duper curly haired mare liked it.
“When I’m old enough, I hope I can be as happy as she is.” Pinkie wondered if she would end up being happy like that with Trixie. She shrugged and continued to work the tables, while continuing to eavesdrop on them like the story is currently saying she will.
“I should really spend more time with my cousin to figure out how she even managed to conceive Ruby.” Cheerilee knew she was never going to understand the mystery that was Berry Punch, but she’d at least try to figure out how her foal came into existence.
“Eh, don’t think about it too hard. Considering how weird Equestria is, anything is possible as far as I can tell. Its how I deal with everything I’ve ever come across from living with Twilight.” This was Tress knowing things could only get weirder if you tried to make sense of it. “So Twilight’s seventeenth Birthday is coming up and I have absolutely no clue what to get her. She’s got more books then she knows what to do with, she’s got a subscription to her favorite magazine for life or until they stop making them. If I truly wanted her to hate me I’d get her a cookbook. I can’t think of a good gift to give her because there isn’t anything she wants as she has just about everything she’ll ever need. Also don’t suggest jewelry.”
“Well why not give her that special stuff you made from her completed formula that you said you were testing?” Bonbon had heard about some of the things Tress was testing, including the new completed products when she had her assistance at the candy shop. Bonbon already had an order of The Ever Clean Cleanser on the way already; it was an amazingly useful product that made taffy easier to work with.
“You know, that just gives me an idea. I should be finished testing it after a few more visits to Zecora and it should be completely ready in time for her birthday.” It sounded like a great idea for Tress to show Twilight the fruits of that cracked formula.
“Can I help with the party? I really love birthdays, especially when they’re my friends.” Pinkie really wanted to help Tress throw a good party for Twilight.
“Sure, as long as it is not a surprise party. We don’t need Twilight destroying half the town because she got spooked.” Tress was still rolling around the idea in her head about the present she would give to Twilight.