//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Party (Director's Cut) // Story: The Curse of A Well-Read Man // by LeoneHaxor //------------------------------// Lee abruptly stopped laughing. The sound definitely came from one of the other rooms. Fearing an intruder, Lee grabbed a replica lightsaber he got from some creepy-ass merchant at Comic-Con and lit the blade. It glowed a brilliant pale blue in front of him. While it was unlikely he would find Darth Vader in his pajamas raiding his home, he thought it best to use the lightsaber rather waste time looking for his emergency flashlight. He cautiously moved out from his room, looking warily in the dark. He was thankful he turned off his stereo when reading in his room, because otherwise he would have been likely caught unawares. Moving out into the hall, he did a quick check of his bathroom, and concluded that unless cheap detergents were going to beef up the bacteria into the size of puppies, nothing was in there. Sweeping the kitchen, he found the most threatening thing to offer was a partially finished pizza box that went cold hours ago, as well as the dishes he left in the sink to “soak.” I really need to clean up this place, he thought idly. Lee continued, uncertainly, to the main room, without any difficulty except his rapidly growing tension. Both process of elimination and what his own eyes saw told him that whoever – or whatever – it was waiting for him there. One of his bookcases had fallen over since he went to his bedroom some time before. Books, hard and paperback, large and small, had scattered onto the floor. The remains of a LEGO Death Star lay in ruins amidst the jumble. Almost as if something... A weak moan coming from the pile interrupted his thoughts. His curiosity prevailed over his unease. He shifted the books to see who it was. He viciously slapped himself with his free hand to ensure he wasn't delirious. Lying under his collection of novels lay the form of a very distinctive purple unicorn. Faced with the impossible, Lee would like to say that he stayed calm and quietly considered how this could have occurred. If only. Lee made a beeline for the door to his room. After shutting himself inside, he slowly collected himself and tried to work out what he just saw. Twilight Sparkle, in his apartment, unconscious under a pile of books. His thoughts were a blur. How the fuck is that possible? Am I going crazy? Is this a dream? AM I HIGH? He again tried vainly slapping his face, in the fleeting hope he was dreaming. No such luck. Alright, so I'm not dreaming. Fine. Assuming I’m not high (because this place would look much more impressive or at least trippy). What am I supposed to do with a pastel unicorn in my house? Moreover, exactly how did she get there in the first place? A thought struck him abruptly. He picked up his phone and made a call to the one person he knew was likely to have an answer - and he could trust not to rat him out to the FBI or something. It rang for an agonizing 16 seconds, until finally Lee heard the line being picked up. "Hey, Lee, what's up?" Setton answered. Lee took a few seconds to peek out at the still form underneath his books. "Quick question for you; ever hear of reading something out loud and it somehow just...happened?" "Sure, it sounds familiar. You remember reading Inkheart, right? That was its entire premise right there. People with that power were called Silvertongues, and they could alter reality by reading aloud. Give one a book and watch the fireworks. Hang on…" Setton's voice became curious. "…why are you asking me this? I thought you already read that one." Silvertongue. Considering this - which was far more preferable to proving his own insanity - he gingerly picked up a book from the pile, and read aloud slowly. "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. He paused and then said slowly in a deep voice: "This is the Master-ring, the One Ring to rule them all." As he read the last few words, a glint appeared in his eye. Bending over to see more clearly, his growing fears were confirmed. Lee struggled to keep his thoughts coherent. "I need you to get over here now." A tense moment of silence followed. "Lee, what's going on over there?" On his carpet before him was a gold ring, with a glowing red inscription in the language of Mordor. Setton pulled up a few minutes later, and made his way up the stairs to the second floor apartment. Knocking on the door, he was surprised to find Lee throwing it open. His head snapped to either side of the opening, and Setton was suddenly grabbed by the shirt and roughly pulled inside. "Was that really necessary?" he asked Lee, who was working quickly to lock the door. Lee's face was serious. "Maybe not, but if there ever was a time, it's now." Saying this, Lee showed Setton the form still motionless under his bookcase. It took him a minute to make sense of what he was seeing. His hand slowly began to lift itself to face level, but Lee obliged, leaving his friend with a colored cheek. “Trust me, I went down that same line of thinking. This isn’t a hoax, there isn’t some camera crew and Ashton Kutcher hiding in the kitchen. And no, you’re not high.” Lee picked up his copy of the fanfiction from the coffee table nearby and handed it to Setton. Dubious, he glanced at the paper before him until he hit the right paragraph. He looked from the limp heap to the cold print several times before the penny dropped. Silence. "...You're telling me that you read this out loud -" "And the next thing I knew, I hear her crash into my bookcase," Lee finished. “You're a Silvertongue?! An honest to God Silvertongue!?” Lee shrugged. “Apparently.” Setton's brows went sky high. “And you're just taking this in stride?” Lee shrugged again. “I did my freaking out while you were getting here.” Strictly speaking, Lee had freaked out while Setton dealt with traffic. The strangest thing was, the shock left Lee after about three minutes. Setton looked from the fanfiction to Twilight, and back to the fanfiction. "Why is she unconscious? If I'm reading this correctly, this passage said she was regaining her senses as Alfonz fled." Lee grinned sheepishly. "Remember how I couldn't find a place for my LEGO Death Star?" Setton saw the brick chunks strewn among the books, and pieced it together quickly. Setton looked at Lee sternly. "If you've managed to kill one of my favorite ponies, I'm going to turn you inside out, cover you in salt and lemon juice, throw you into a barrel of rusty razors and proceed to roll you down a hill." Lee was startled by this oddly specific (and disturbingly inventive) threat for a moment. "Jesus, Setton! I checked her pulse and everything! She was only knocked unconscious, I swear." Setton closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. As long as she's...” A thought struck him. "Wait a minute. How long has she been out, anyway?" Lee checked his watch. "About six minutes and five seconds." There was a moan from the pile, and both men froze. Simultaneously, they shifted their gaze to the now stirring figure on Lee's floor. Lee slowly placed his hand into his pocket, and whispered to the blanched figure beside him. "Hide!" Lee's fingers closed on the object he was feeling for, and he promptly vanished. Setton, dumbfounded, regarded this development for a moment before remembering the passage from Lord of the Rings he heard uttered on the phone earlier. He then dove for the first door he saw, and found himself trapped in the bathroom. His inner smartass spoke its mind: What a shitty situation. In their haste, Lee nearly left the fanfiction in plain view, as Setton dropped it seconds ago. Stuffing the now-sensitive document in his shirt, he backed away from the waking mare as quickly as he dared. With a pained groan, Twilight groggily made her way to her feet. "Why did you have to be so difficult, Alfonz?" she moaned, before realizing she wasn't in her library anymore. She swiftly looked around the room, wondering just how hard she had been thrown. Her concern grew when she fully grasped that she had no idea where the hell she was. "Hello?" she asked tentatively. "Where am I?" Lee froze, checking the hand he slipped the Ring onto. The last thing he needed was the treacherous thing slipping off and exposing himself to the horny time-bomb. The Ring, however, was firmly secured on his finger, seemingly loyal to its current bearer. Suspicions allayed for now, he considered his situation. Twilight Sparkle seemed unaware of either his or Setton's presence, but that wasn't likely to last much longer. So he did the first logical thing that came to his mind. He spoke. "Hello, traveler," Lee intoned in the best Baritone he could manage. "Welcome to my humble home. Please, make yourself comfortable." Twilight started at these words, but lay on his couch after a moment. So far so good. Lee threw a glance to Setton's hiding place. If there was any chance of diverting her attention from the considerably more vulnerable man in his bathroom, he had to keep going. Lee made his way to the bookcase, still hidden by the Ring's power. He righted it with a barely audible grunt, wincing as the sound left his lips. He was trying to go for the “intangible magical presence” effect, which was basically trying to copy the Wizard of Oz without a curtain, but for the moment it seemed to work. Starting to place several books back on his shelves, he continued. "It's not every day that an Equestrian appears so into literature," he said with a chuckle. He came across one novel of the Dresden Files, and placed it under his arm before resuming. "Tell me," knowing the answer already. "What is the last thing you remember before you awoke here?” Her face unreadable, she slowly replied, "I was trying to get to know someone better, and he ends up throwing me into a bookcase." Pausing, she inquired, "Sorry, but I don't seem to have caught your name." Ignoring the question, he replied, "I believe that his name is Alfonz? The fellow you were trying to 'get to know better'?" The reply came in the form of a suspicious nod. "If I remember right, I'd say he is busy with another of your friends," he stated, hoping he remembered the fanfic correctly. Twilight sat bolt upright at these words. A few more sentences, and he would ensure she wouldn’t ask too many questions about what he was. Or think to figure out what he was by using her magic. Either way, it would buy him some time to think of a way out of... Behind him, Setton's hold on the door slipped, and he fell over into the room. “Balls,” Lee muttered.