Twilight's bloodshot eyes opened widely, eliciting a loud scream from Law. Suddenly, though, as quickly as her eyes opened, they rolled up in their sockets, closed again, and were fallowed by Twilight smack her lips dryly as the cigarette flopped about, somehow still remaining in her mouth.
Law stopped screaming and caught her breath, only to see that the princess was in fact back to, or had never truly woken up from, her slumber.
Law heaved a few more times before looking back at her fellow officers, only to see them gesturing to continue. Law poked again and was met with a snort, a muffled sneeze, another snort, and then a swallow as a peaceful smile then grew on Twilight's muzzle.
"Um...Princess Twilight?" Law poked again, this time with slightly more force, jostling her body, "Princess Sparkle?"
Twilight twitched with a start, her eyes opening again, saying something along the lines of "JSFAULEW?!" as she blinked rapidly, trying to focus her eyes. They scanned the room erratically before meeting the eyes of Law, the officer standing before her.
"Am I dead?" She half whispered, half groaned, cigarette still bouncing in mouth.
"Um, no ma'am, though I could understand why you might feel that way..." Law commented, eyeing the cocaine powdering her snout.
"Who are you? Have I joined some kind of...cult?" She asked in the same gruff morning voice.
"Uh, no, Princess. My name is officer Law, I'm with the Ponyville Police department." She answered stately.
"Oooohhh yes yes yes of course, of course..." Twilight replied, rubbing her head with her hoof, sitting up now.
"Ah, so you remember what happened?" Law asked.
"No." Twilight replied, before continuing, "How was the situation? Had I been...drinking?"
Peacekeeper piped up from behind the bars, "Had you been drinking?" Her mind flashed back to the stupor Twilight had entered the station in, swaying obviously before attacking her, "I'd...say you had a couple." She put delicately.
Twilight rose to her hooves, stumbling slightly, "You see...you see Lilly, Larry, Leo-"
"Law." The officer quickly supplied.
"Law...I don't think that- HRUGH! OH CELESTIA THAT'S BRIGHT!!" she commented, now facing the window, "I don't think that your, uh, services will be needed anymore. I'm just gonna, just gonna...gonna go puke outside and then I'll be on my way..."she remarked, heading to the cell bars.
"I'm afraid we can't let you do that Miss Sparkle. I'm afraid you're under arrest," Roger replied calmly, but sternly, "for violation of several of her majesties' laws."
"Huh...ok then," Twilight replied, clearly not giving any amount of a buck, "just let me take care of something real quick." Twilight promptly used her magic to bend the steel bars of the cell outwards without effort, creating an open plenty large enough for her to walk through, which she did. She then promptly opened the door to the station and vomited on a small, very unfortunate squirrel who happened to be burying nuts near-by.
Twilight re-entered the station, wiping the vomit and some cocaine from her muzzle, "Alright then...now that that's taken care of...I'm what now?"
"You're under arrest?" Roger replied, much more nervously this time, now that the Princess was out of the cell.
"Oh, uh, nah. I'm gonna go get a coffee instead," she replied, magically lighting her cigarette and placing her sunglasses from the previous nights escapades oh her sensitive eyes.
"I'm afraid it's not that simple, your highness..." Roger stated gently, being very careful not to upset the powerful, cranky, and deeply hungover princess, "You broke several laws...and...and we're placing you under arrest for that whether *gulp* whether you like it or not..." the stallion stated, nervous and confused that he had to explain the legal system to a princess.
"Yeah, but, like, I don't really give a buck? So...whatever I did last night? Yeah that's legal now." Twilight replied casually, taking a draw off her cig while rooting through her stolen suit jacket, smelling cake.
"Princess Twilight, you can't just-" Roger started before Peacekeeper put up a hoof to silence him.
"Unfortunately, she can just. She's a princess, Roger, and as unfortunate as it may be, her word is law. She doesn't stand above the law, but she can change it whenever she wants," Peacekeeper sighed, "even in this state she still has the authority."
Twilight rose back out of her coat, now munching on a cold, stale chocolate lava cake, "Damn straight. You know what? Buck it. Everything is legal now. No laws, buck off..." She stated coldly, chocolate cake crumbs flying out of her mouth as she did so.
"WHAT?! Princess Twilight, without laws the entirety of Equestria will descend into chaos! It'll be anarchy! Ponies murdered in the streets!" Roger protested, unable to believe what he was hearing.
"Yeah, I don't give a buck so..." Twilight motioned for the stallion to keep speaking, as though he had a point he would arrive at.
Roger was utterly dumbstruck.
"Aight, cool." The princess replied before heading back into the evidence locker and rolling a magic grass joint, which she stuck behind her ear. She also took a bag of Skittles and a can of iced tea. Why that was evidence, she would never know, but it wasn't like she gave a buck.
As she headed back out the locker and then out the station, the police ponies did not dare move a muscle, lest the princess sentence them to death, or something. Who knew what she would do now that everything and anything was legal!
Finally, she left the station, walking out into the sunny streets of Ponyville, mumbling something about how Celestia was being a bitch.
The three ponies stood motionless for a few more minutes before turning to Roger.
"Roger, what do we do here? Without laws, well, we're out of a job! Not to mention everything we know is going to come crashing around us..." Law asked, terrified.
"It's simple..." Roger replied, before turning to face his co-officers, a deadly serious look on his face, "We. Tell. Nopony."