"Pssst."
Dinky shuffled slightly within her warm covers. It was morning, most assuredly. But it was also Saturday. She yawned and snuggled up to her pillow. "N wnna mmma." As articulate as her wishes were, they were unfortunately issued without very much force.
"Pssssssst!"
"'s Sat'day mmma!" Her voice was almost audible by this point. She had a nice almost sleepover night with Sparkler and she wanted to sleep in.
"Dinky, it's time to wake up my little pony!"
Dinky's eyes popped open. That tone of voice was most certainly not her momma. In fact it sounded like... Dinky turned over and stared right into the amused face of Celestia, her mane billowing magically behind her. Dinky took a deep breath.
Ponies later swore they all popped awake at the same distinct high pitched noise. The same one, it was presumed, that caused all the dogs within a mile of Ponyville to start barking and howling.
Dinky finished her excited squeal after a few moments, put a hoof to her forehead, and fainted dramatically back onto her pillow. Celestia rubbed her ears with a golden shoe'd hoof and a curious expression. "Goodness. For somepony trying to get me to be special someponies with her mother, she seems a bit surprised."
Dinky kept looking up from her breakfast muffin, staring at the solar princess. Every time she would raise a regal eyebrow at the filly, Dinky resumed focusing her attention on the muffin. For all of the ten seconds before her eyes would drift once more. Celestia sipped her tea gracefully.
"Umm."
Ah. The ice had broken.
"Yes Dinky?"
Dinky coughed politely before addressing her point. "Did you banish my momma because she wasn't your special somepony?"
Celestia's face impacted the table with a surprising amount of force. But the groan she released was more from mental agony than physical pain.
"No. No I did not."
"Oh. So why isn't she here with you? Isn't that how special someponies work?"
"Your mother is handling a small problem for me. And she asked me to stop by and keep an eye on you." Celestia's head was brought up long enough to rest it right-side up on the table, fixing the small unicorn with an amused smile.
"No! No! How can you destroy a marble fireplace with a feather duster?!"
"I just don't know what went wrong."
"And I don't think we're special someponies."
Dinky blinked, then issued a cry with all the frustration and wisdom of youth. "Well you weren't trying hard enough then!" Celestia had the presence of mind to blink with a blank expression, rather than surrender to the endless bouts of giggles that would ensue otherwise. "You're always working, my momma's always working, if you two get together, then you don't have to work so much, and my momma gets a really special somepony, and you get somepony who's probably the only pony in Equestria who's... who's.. better than awesome enough for you!" Dinky pouted, crossing her arms.
"Better than awesome?" Celestia fought down the edges of a grin rising onto her face. Dinky merely nodded her agreement.
"Yeah, 'cause Rainbow Dash is awesome, but my momma goes all over Equestria doing jobs everywhere and making sure everypony gets all their mail. She's better than awesome. And she always makes muffins, and she's always here for me..." Dinky poked at her muffin with a sigh. "I was hoping you'd be a special enough somepony for her."
Celestia rolled her eyes with a smile. "Is there some rule that this family is filled with wisdom?" Dinky blinked at the princess of the sun uncomprehendingly. Celestia laughed softly. "It's nothing Dinky. So! I'm going to be keeping an eye on you for a bit of today. Did you have any plans?"
Dinky blinked as a massive smile spread over her face. This was going to be so cool!
"Out!"
"But Prince Blueblood—"
"Ouut!"
"But Prince—"
"OUUUT!"
With a startled noise, Derpy found herself tossed bodily from Prince Blueblood's chambers. She hit the far wall of the corridor and slid down, her rolling eyes catching the startled expressions of Blueblood's guards before settling on the livid, somewhat battered, covered in flour, and very lightly singed prince. "You. You! Yooooooooou."
Derpy smiled agreeably, and saluted, still upside down. "Yes, Prince Blueblood?"
"Go. Away!" He snorted violently, trying his best to remain somewhat composed. Behind him, yet another of his many trophies of achievement collapsed loudly, setting one eye to nervous twitching.
"But Prince Blueblood, I was hired by Princess Celestia to assist you with every thing you need."
"No! You walking— Flying— Disaster!"
"I can't ignore my orders prince. As long as you need me, I'll be there!" She giggled sweetly, the prince's paranoid state sending horrified shivers down his spine.
"No! NO! I— I can do this myself. You can leave. Goodbye! Guards! Escort her out!" With that, he tried to magically slam the doors to his room, finding the hinges broken, he whimpered, simply wedging them into place with a healthy dose of desperation.
Derpy calmly righted herself, dusted off her maid attire, and approached the door. She knocked three times, her hoof punching through the wood with a resounding crack on the last knock, earning her a panicked whinny from the prince. One of her rolling eyes peeked through the newly formed hole. "Err. Oops. Are you sure you don't—"
With a mad smile and eyes shrunk to pinpricks the prince tried to achieve a proud laugh, only managing a slightly maniacal one as he returned the stare through the hole in the door. Derpy backed a few steps from the door and sat on her haunches in surprise. "Heeeere's Blueblood! And he can take care of himself! No maid! None! NoooOoooo maid! Go away!" With a resounding slam, the prince barricaded his door against the pegasus, covering the hole with... Derpy almost wanted to say that's what was left of his bed.
She pursed her lips, then smiled lopsidedly. "Well, that worked out faster than expected." She walked away calmly, the two guards exchanging half a look, happy for the rigid guard training on maintaining a straight face. They'd be able to laugh at the prince's plight later.
Derpy bee-lined for the throne room, only getting lost twice in the similar looking hallways of the castle. A simple matter to report her loss of employment at the hooves of Blueblood and she could head home to rescue Celestia from an afternoon of excitement with Dinky. She noted with some surprise that there were quite a few ponies waiting for the Lunar Regent's verdict. Puzzled, she gently pushed herself to the front of the line, most nobles simply not noticing a maid seemingly going about her duties. The throne room doors opened easily into the well lit gleaming chamber. Upon the throne rested not a single regal alicorn. "Where's Princess Luna?"
Dressed in the largest straw sunhat, sunglasses, and a large pink sash they could find, Celestia sipped daintily at her tea, finishing the cup. "More tea please, Dinky."
The little purplish-grey unicorn filly in her own outfit constructed of a dozen oversized bows, a purple vest, and welding goggles happily raised the teapot in her hooves to refill the princess' cup.
Celestia nodded happily, stirring in a small sugar cube. "And perhaps one of those strawberry tarts?"
Dinky carefully looked over at the third member of their tea party, clad in a monocle, a small crown, and a bright green feather boa. While the communal plate of cookies had been drained, they had all ended up, uneaten, on the plate of Mr. Bear.
"I'm sorry princess, but Mr. Bear says he's keeping them for the glory of Bearquestria." She leaned in, with a careful stage whisper. "It's like Equestria, but full of bears."
"As princess of Equestria, I must insist that Mr. Bear employ diplomacy and share part of that bounty." Celestia smiled warmly. She'd had dealings with plush heads of state before, although she was rather certain High General Smartypants was a more shrewd negotiator than Mr. Bear.
"...Mr. Bear says Bearquestria won't negotiate with terra... terro... scary ponies." Dinky nodded.
It was with no small exercise of will that Celestia managed to avoid spit-taking her tea all over the other participants of the party. Coughing lightly and wiping at her mouth with a napkin, she considered her options, and steepled her hooves before her sunglasses. "Perhaps Mr. Bear would be interested in some lands in the Mild West?"