To hell with the Canterlot Deportation Agency
* * *
The atmosphere inside my Office at the Weyr was tense as the Canterlot Deportation Agent - one Ms. Bree - waited for my reply. "Ms. Bree" I stated softly, leaning forward in my chair and steepling my hands, "my Visa, my Passport, and all of my other paperwork is up to date. I also have legal backing to operate my Dragon Weyr as a home and Orphanage for abandoned foals here in Equestria, of which - as you saw earlier, in the main room - there are many. I came here to Equestria with peaceful intentions to begin a new life--and until you and your vaunted Deportation Agency showed up, I was doing just that: living a quiet life in and around the Weyr and keeping to myself.
Now, for whatever reason, you and your agency seem to have gotten it into your heads that I've been... - what was it? - ah, yes... 'subverting ponies away from Celestia's grace.'" At that moment - tired of her and her agency's constant harassment - I dropped all pretense of being a 'nice guy' with her, and allowed my foul temper to rise. "Bitch, please!" I sneered as she gasped. "It's not my fault that her Little Ponies decided to settle the land around it; it's their land; they can do as they please. Those ponies had grown weary of the Rule of the Princesses and decided to stay here... and the Weyr protects all who settle on its lands. If you want to believe that I have been subverting them as your no doubt bogus report states, then you may do so; what I have actually been doing is teaching them all I know.
You'll find all-manner of buildings out there - I gestured 'outside' - and if some have been crafted in the shape of pyramids with Protoss Psi-Steel then it is only because the ponies who made those places did so to honor me, not because I 'subverted' them in any way. You also complain about the pony guards and 'army' I possess; well... wouldn't you want to protect your home, too? They certainly do. Now..." Getting out of my chair, I moved towards Bree, circling her like a bird of prey as she backed off, "... if you want to deport me as you would any other human, you must first consider this: the Dragon Weyr is my Nexus; I'm the only one who can command - and I use the word very loosely - the vessel to go anywhere. Secondly: consider where you are: you are inside the Weyr. At any time, I can ask the Weyrmind to recall you into an empty room, seal said room--and then depressurize it!"
Agent Bree was pale now, but I relentlessly continued. "Put simply, I grow weary of your Agency and your attempts to force me to leave this amazing world. If you keep doing this, then I will leave... but when I do, I will recall all of my Ponies and their houses into the Weyr... and take them with me - they will be Weyrponies - and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! Why? Well, remember who supplies humankind with all of that amazing Protoss Technology they love so much. If you fuckers at the CDA keep hassling me, I'll put in a word to the Conclave to stop the technology trade between Earth and Aiur--or perhaps to renegotiate the agreement so that it's more in their favour instead of mankind's. Now get out!" And that was that; with a thunderous expression on her face, Bree of the Canterlot Deportation Agency stalked furiously from the Weyr. Once she was gone - breathing a sigh of relief - I slumped back out into the main room of the Weyrhome and crashed down into a beanbag.
No sooner had I done so, then "Oof!" I was surrounded by the pony foals I was caring for and adored so much, one of them jumping into my lap. Possessing a honey-yellow coat, brassy mane and gentle blue eyes, she peered up at me, worriedly. "Is..." she sniffled, her eyes misting over with tears as the other foals cuddled closer around me, "is the bad lady gone?" This was little Chorus, and I cuddled her close, ruffling her mane and scratching her behind the ears. "Yes she is, sweetie. Yes she is," I answered, gently, "and if things go well she'll never be bothering us again."