//------------------------------//
// Bed Time Story Two: Electric Boogaloo 
// Story: Brown Note the Unicorn 
// by kudzuhaiku 
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“Settled into bed Sprout?” A voice said. 

“Yeah, but I’m not sleepy.” A voice replied. 

“We’ll see.” A very kind and gentle voice said. 

“Another story! Huzzah!” A voice said, having some volume control issues. 

“A bedtime story?” Said another voice in sunny tones.  

“Shush!” Said a very sarcastic voice. 

Once there was a princess, a little alicorn filly. And she was sickeningly cute and adorable. She was the filly of Brown Note and Hiatus. And her name was Princess Potty Mouth. Potty Mouth was the sweetest little filly you ever did see, adorable, loving, and so many other nauseating descriptions for being saccharine. 

But Potty Mouth had a problem. She had terrible breath. So, she left home hoping to find a cure for her terrible malady, an end to what plagued her. 

“How is she an alicorn?” A voice asked. 

“Shut your cake hole!” An irritated voice answered. 

“That is very rude sister.” A voice replied. 

“So is interrupting a foal’s bedtime story!” A voice snapped. 

There was an adorable yawn. 

So the adorable alicorn filly wandered the roads, looking for somepony that might help her. She walked for many days, leaving her parents behind, her bowels finally free from the constant tug of war her parent’s magic caused her. 

After walking many miles, she came upon a group of migrating butterflies. “Hello!” She cried, glad to see the butterflies, feeling the tickle of their many wings. 

Her breath caused the great butterfly extinction of ‘23. 

“Oh that’s awful!” The kind voice said. 

Princess Potty Mouth was devastated. Sighing sadly, she continued down the road, approaching Canterlot, which was many, many, many miles away through heavily populated areas. As she walked, flowers wilted and died, bugs dropped dead, and leaves fell from the trees. 

“I’m not sure that this story is appropriate for foals…” A voice said hesitantly. 

“Sister. Your cake hole is open again.” A voice replied. 

There was another adorable yawn. 

Eventually, Potty Mouth reached a town called Miller’s Crossing. Ponies came out to see her, glad to meet a stranger, as ponies tend to be. Because strangers would never do them harm and talking to strangers is always a safe bet. The mayor met her on the bridge. 

“Hello.” Potty Mouth said, causing the mayor to faint dead away. The rest of the townsponies began to spew rainbows everywhere, running away, spewing steaming chunks of rainbows from their mouths and noses. 

Potty Mouth hung her head and cried, looking oh so very sad and heart broken. Nopony loved Potty Mouth. And for good reason. Her mouth smelled like a sewer! 

There was another very large yawn from a mouth filled with dozens of sharp teeth. 

“I’d better skip ahead.” A voice said. 

“But I’m not sleepy!” A voice protested. 

So after many trials and tribulations, Princess Potty Mouth finally made it to Canterlot to become Princess Celestia’s personal protege. She stood in Celestia’s throne room, looking up at her teacher with wide eyed adoration and said “I am an even bigger brown noser than Twilight Sparkle!” 

“Hey!” A voice said. 

Celestia caught the full force of the alicorn filly’s breath. Every feather fell from her wings, leaving her looking a little plucked, and every white hair fell from her coat, leaving her naked. It was then her subjects saw her secret shame, a tattoo of Twilight Sparkle on her backside from when she visited Las Pegasus. 

There was a very frustrated sigh and a grunt from one of the voices. 

Celestia, in her infinite wisdom, gave Princess Potty Mouth a breath mint, thinking that it would cure the problem. The breath mint sprouted eight hairy legs and ran off, leaping from Princess Potty Mouth’s potty scented mouth. And to this day we still have hairy legged breath mint stink spiders running around, stinking up the place. 

“Ivy is asleep Discord.” Fluttershy said. 

“But I haven’t gotten to the good part.” Discord said with a cackle. 

“There’s a good part?” Twilight said, yawning herself. 

“I cannot believe I was talked into listening to this.” Celestia said. “This was horrible. Shame on you Discord!” 

“Ouch, ennui.” Discord replied. 

“I want to hear the rest of the story!” Luna said, grinning. 

“Oh, Princess Potty Mouth becomes Celestia’s Mary Sue, they have magical adventures together, and Potty Mouth sends Luna letters about having inappropriate relationships with your teacher.” Discord said, rubbing his talons and his paw together. 

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I knew I should have never left the castle on April Foal’s Day.”