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// Purple is a Terrible Color 
// Story: Princess Stupid Jerk McButt Has A Picnic With Her Dumb Friends and Fluttershy, by the Great and Powerful Trixie 
// by Twinkletail 
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Once upon a time, there was a big dumb pony named Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. She liked to walk around and be all like, "Ooo, I'm such a great princess and everypony loves me, look at how pointy my horn is, I sure like magic." She was the biggest and stupidest butt in all of Buttville. Some ponies called it Ponyville, but I know better.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt lived in a tree. That's how everypony knew she was stupid. Normally ponies who aren't stupid live in non-trees, but she lived in a tree, and that was really stupid. Nopony told her she was stupid, and actually a lot of ponies told her she was very smart, but it was probably just because they thought "stupid" was too hard a word for her.

One day, Princess Stupid Jerk McButt walked out of her house (which was still a tree, and still stupid). She looked up at the sky and said, "What a nice day." It was really stupid that she said that because there wasn't even anypony around to say that to. She also said this while being purple, which is scientifically proven to be the stupidest color. Have you ever known anything that was both purple and smart? No, you haven't.

She decided it would be a good day to go visit her friends, who were also pretty stupid but not as stupid as she was. There was the stupid orange one with the ugly hat who liked apples despite being the same color as a far superior fruit, the blue one with the hideous multicolored mane, the white one who's all obsessed with fashion and rude and stuff, the annoying pink one who never stops talking, and Fluttershy, who was actually pretty nice and is probably the least stupid of the whole bunch.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt got all her friends together and said "We should have a picnic celebrating how smelly we are." The rest of them said okay because they weren't smart and also they did smell, which made that the first thing Princess Stupid Jerk McButt ever said that was correct. So they all went to have a picnic, except they forgot the picnic blanket and the utensils and the picnic basket and the food. They forgot all of these things due to how amazingly dumb they were. But they still called it a picnic. Guess whose idea it was to still call it a picnic without any of the things you need for a picnic?

Spoilers: It was Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's idea.

So the six ponies (or five ponies and one jerk) had a picnic without any picnic things whatsoever, which I guess meant they just sat on the grass and looked at each other. They did all of this without inviting anypony else, which shows you how big a stupid jerk Princess Stupid Jerk McButt is. They didn't even invite the nice, humble, friendly blue unicorn who moved into town not long ago. She would have been a very good pony to invite to that picnic, because she was very smart and good at things and never would have forgotten the supplies for a picnic. But they didn't invite her at all, which was definitely Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's fault because she's the leader or something, even though Fluttershy would be a better leader because she is actually nice.

But the nice, humble, friendly blue unicorn, whose name was the Great and Powerful (nee Apologetic) Trixie, found them having their stupid not-picnic, because she was smart and knew how to find anypony she wanted to. Trixie spoke very calmly to them about how disappointed she was over not being invited to their picnic. She spoke very, very calmly, even though it might have sounded loud to the other ponies, but that is just because she tends to speak loudly even when she isn't mad at all about anything. That is just because Trixie is boisterous and full of power, and it is completely unrelated to her current mood, even though her mood at the time was calm and not the slightest bit angry.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt told Trixie that they weren't having a picnic at all, and that they would have invited Trixie if they were. She tried to tell Trixie that they just happened to be watching the blue one practice for the Wonderbolts, but Trixie saw right through her lies, because Trixie was a brilliant pony with a very stylish mane. Trixie knew that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt only said that because she was caught in the act of being stupid and did not want to admit to it. Or maybe because she was too stupid to realize that she was stupid. It was definitely one of those two reasons, or perhaps both.

The orange one said something with the word "y'all" in it, which showed that she was almost as stupid as Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. The white one and the pink one also said things but Trixie didn't listen to them because they were probably just talking about dresses and parties, respectively. The blue one (who wasn't as good a blue as Trixie) didn't say anything, because she wasn't smart enough to say anything. Fluttershy apologized and said that she would definitely invite Trixie to the next party they had. Trixie believed her, because Fluttershy was the least dumb.

Trixie told the ponies that she would expect to see them at their next picnic. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt told her that they would, but Trixie knew that she would forget because there was nothing about her that was good at all, so she asked Fluttershy to remember. Fluttershy said she would, and smiled at Trixie, which made Trixie slightly less angry, even though she wasn't even angry in the first place as I said before. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt said something to Trixie as she left that sounded like "bye," but she was almost certainly just making random noises and happened to stumble upon one that sounded appropriate to the conversation taking place.

The moral of the story is: no one likes Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, everypony should invite Trixie to their picnics all the time, and Fluttershy should get better taste in friends because she is the only one in her group of friends who isn't dumb. Perhaps Trixie shall allow her to be her friend.

The end.