//------------------------------// // Job Hunting With Discord: Part 1 // Story: My Stepfather Discord // by Raikage77 //------------------------------// Job Hunting With Discord: Part 1 Date: July/18th/2013 No one said that getting a job would be so hard. I walked into the house feeling a bit let down, closing the door with my heel. There was really no need to lock it because John was still outside playing with his friends. We always left the door unlocked when he played outside, just encase there was ever an emergency and he needed to get into the house fast. I mean it's not like we live in a bad neighborhood or anything. But, it was better to be safe then sorry. I made my way over to the couch and plopped down on it. I checked with almost all of my friends, even a few people that I barely knew or talked to, to see if any places were hiring. No one was, so I tried looking into a few places on my own: Gamestop, Target, Walmart, and even K-Mart. In that exact order. But, no one was hiring at all! It was completely ridiculous. It was as if everyone had something against me or something. I know that's impossible, but it was how I felt at the moment. Two days of job hunting, and I didn't even get so much as a 'we'll see what we can do'. What a waste! "Jeez, maybe I should quit while I'm ahead. Never was much of a job person. Or …," I thought back to what Discord said before. Despite being a spirit of chaos, he did work. More or less to keep up his ruse as being a normal human being. He even did something that used his magic talents rather well, he worked as a high-class magician in some casino in Las Vegas, it paid rather nicely. It also helped that he could be pretty much anywhere in the world with just a snap of his fingers, or talons, depending on what form he used at the time. "I guess I'll ask Discord what he had in mind," I uttered. I hopped up off the couch and checked my cellphone for any text messages or voice mails. Mom was at work today, so that meant that Discord was in their bedroom doing whatever he did on his days off. I strolled up the stairs and made my way down the hallway to the farthest room. Knocking a few times, I called through the door. "Discord! ...Yo, Discord, I need some help with that job thing." I didn't get an answer, so after waiting in the hallway for a few minutes, constantly rapping on the door. I opened it and took a step in. At first, I thought I was in the wrong place. Because this did not look like a bedroom at all. It was a huge, chaotically decorated throne room, complete with pink clouds, pillars made of of what looked like different colored rock candy and rivers of chocolate milk trialing at the sides of a huge red rug. Willy Wonka would have thought he'd died and gone to heaven if he saw this place. It was a candy addicts dream, which was bad for me; I was getting a major sweet tooth just looking at all the stuff. I took a breath, steeling myself and I entered the room. Will power was one thing I can say I have, cause if I didn't, I would've hopped into the caramel stream the second I saw it. As I past all the sweets, glancing at each mountain of candy with a look of longing as I-. Oh, my, God. I stopped in my tracks and looked up. "He has a mountain of tarts! There's no way I'm passing this up!" I went over to the pastry mountain and took an arm full. Taking bites as I did so. So much for self control. But, blue berry tarts were my favorite treat ever. I continued down the red path set in front of me, and there on a huge throne, was Discord in his normal non-human form. Sleeping away in a upside down position, like a little kid would do on a couch while watching Television. I rolled my eyes at the sight. He may have been over a thousand years old, but he still acted like a goofy kid; mom did too, it was one of the things that attracted her to him. Or, so she says. At first I was going to shake him awake. But then I thought to myself, this is the perfect opportunity to get him back for yesterday morning. Besides, when did we ever wake each other up the normal way in this family? My mind being made up, I set down the arm full of tarts in a small pile near the top of the throne steps and walked down to one of the chocolate milk pools. Gathering some milk into a large bucket, I went back up the stairs, grinning all the while as I held the bucket near his face. "Three, two, one." Splash! In an instant, Discord shot up, sputtering out chocolate milk. "What in the world!" He looked around in surprise, until his odd eyes landed on me. Then his face went blank. "Oh ...it's you." "What's wrong, Dissy, we're all fair game in this house, remember." I said, a smug grin on my face. "Pay back's a bitch, ain't it?" "Oh. Ha ha, so you got me this time. It's still ninety-three to one." "You've been keeping track?" "Of course," Discord floated himself into an upright sitting position, pulling a towel from seemingly out of nowhere, drying the chocolate milk off his face. "So what do you want? I doubt you came here just to prank me." He said, leaning back on his throne, resting his chin in his talon. I would say like a boss, but it's been used. I sat down on the top step, taking a bite of one of the tarts in the pile. "You're right. Actually, I came here to take you up on your offer. About the job help." "I see, so you've had no luck in finding something. Nothing at all?" The trickster asked. "Nope," I answered, simply. Discord sighed heavily. Was it that he didn't want to help me, or did he just want to get back to his nap? "Well, I would rather return to my nap." Knew it. "But if you really need my help that badly, I guess I have no choice." Discord raised his eagle arm and snapped his talons. The room changed back to normal, and all the food disappeared, including the fruit tarts that I was eating. I went to take a bite, only to get a mouth full of air, instead. "Hey, I was eating those!" "Sorry~." I knew for a fact he wasn't sorry. "Asshole." Before Discord came along my mom's room was just your average bedroom, with a bed set, dressers and a large rug. Now, it was a room fit for a king. Which wasn't all that surprising since Discord did say he used to be a ruler once. The bed was one of the hugest beds I've ever seen in my life; not to mention the mattress itself looked like it was made out of clouds. My stepfather stood up, stretching his arms and legs out. I was tall, but in his natural form he was a full five inches taller then I was. And, that was just when he was standing on the ground. "So ...what did you have in mind, Discord?" "Hmm ...I was going to take you to a friend of mine, nice lady, very bossy though." Discord replied, he snapped his fingers and turned back into his fully human looking form, wearing a suit, button up white undershirt and black pants, very classy. Now the only thing weird about him was his odd white and black hair. "Shall we be going, then?" "Shouldn't we have someone watch the house, Taylor and John?" I asked. "Right, right. One second," he reached behind his back and pulled out a cage, and inside the cage was John's pet rabbit, Annie. I raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing with John's rabbit?" "Well getting a babysitter, of course," Discord said, as if it was the simplest answer in the world. This was the stuff I never got about this guy. How the hell was a rabbit gonna babysit? It's stupid! "I don't get it." "You will, just stand back and watch the master at work." Letting the rabbit hop out of it's cage, Discord cracked each of his knuckles, then snapped his fingers in the direction of the small white bunny. The change was instant, but though my eyes I saw it happen in slow motion. The rabbit went white for a moment, like a completely blinding white, then it started to transform like a Pokemon evolving. A few second later, the thing that stood there was no longer a rabbit, but a short teenager that looked like she came straight out of the Playboy mansion. I starred at her, looked over at Discord, then looked back at her again. Bunny ears, white hair, maid outfit. Her ears were real, of cause, it was easy to tell even if you didn't see her change just by the way they twitched. "Dude ...what did you just do?" "Well, got us a babysitter," Discord answered. "And who better to babysit then someone who lives in the same house." "But, she's a rabbit." I uttered. Discord shrugged. "And, what of it. Rabbits can be responsible too, you know. Besides, I don't see you getting a sitter on such short notice." He said, before turning to the now humanized Annie, giving her his best smile. "Now, Annie, would you be a dear and watch the boys while we're gone?" Annie didn't answer. She just glared heavily at him, while crossing her arms and tapped her feet on the floor. What the hell did Discord do to get hate like that? "Why she glaring at you like that?" I nudged him, keeping my eyes on the bunny girl. Discord stroked his beard. "Hmm ...it could be because of the tiger incident last time." "Tiger, what tiger?" hold up a minute, did he say last time? "Wait, you did this to her before?" "Hey, don't give me that look, babysitter are hard to come by these days. So I improvised." The chaos spirit replied. He turned back to Annie; an expression on his face that was serious, even for him, "Ann, I know last time was a bit of a ...problem. But, Taylor's abilities are under control, now. So there will be no tigers, or elephants, or pirates." Annie starred at him with a blank expression. Then let out a sigh, rolling her eyes, putting up two finger. "two hours." Annie nodded. Before, putting up all ten fingers, and making some sort of sign language that I had no idea what it meant. Discord of the other hand, seemed to understand perfectly fine. "Ten carrots. Five now, five when I get back or no deal." Annie nodded again, placing her hand on her hip and tapping her foot. Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! "Fine." Discord snapped his fingers and a small bag with a carrot symbol it appeared next to the bunny girl's feet. Annie grinned, snatching up the up the bag. She made a shooing motion at us before she ...uh, turned and hopped out the room. Didn't know she still had to do that. Oh, and she still has a tail! That's just cute~! "So, shall we go," Discord said, tapping on a watch that wasn't on his arm before. "The clocks ticking, you know." "Uh, yeah." "Alright then, hold on the your hats!" He said, just before snapping his fingers. Wait a minute. I felt the top of my head. When did I put on a hat...?