The Tale of Twitchums McButternubs
Chapter 1
Twitchums awoke in the middle of an apple orchard.
“Wow this is convenient.” He said to himself, allowing the refreshing sun to warm up his entire body. Being a hardened criminal scum-bag, he rarely had an opportunity to relax. Especially in an open encompass. He lay for several hours, wondering why he wasn’t being pursued by any policeponies. Then he remembered. The author wanted to develop a minor story before any problems arose.
It was now sunset and the Apple Family had finished working in the West fields bucking the trees. Applejack and Big Macintosh walked back to their barn slowly, carrying several baskets full of apples on their backs. Their eyes lazily watched the trees they passed, completely unaware of the badass pony they were about to see.
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Applejack spotted a hideously coloured mane and a sharp, cliché looking tail. She stopped and let out a yelp, confused and a little scared at the massive unicorn that lay in front of her. Right by Bloomberg’s cousin.
“Who’s this feller?” She asked in a southern accent to her older brother. He shrugged in reply and in a convenient plot point decided to push Applejack forward to him, rather than calling the policeponies and report a trespasser. Applejack walked forward cautiously and looked at the blue-ish unicorn. Then she saw his wings.
“An alicorn!?” She cried out in utter shock. Twitchums immediately opened his eyes to find an orange mare standing in front of him. Her eyes were filled with confusion and fright. Twitchums rose and towered over Applejack and Big Macintosh.
“`Scuse me Mister…” The mare began, hoping for a name from the ravishing alicorn that stood before her. Sure he had an ugly mane, a puny eye and looked like a 5-year old had hastily coloured him, but something about him was oddly attractive. Maybe it’s just because the author said so. But, yet again, maybe not.
“My name is Twitchums. Twitchums McButternubs.” His voice was deep and masculine. Applejack felt a surge in her heart when he spoke.
“Well Mr. Twitchums, Ah was wonderin. What exactly are y’all doing in ma farm?” Applejack questioned softly.
“Simple. I’m sleeping.” With that, Twitchums sat back on his flank and leaned against a tree. His eyes met the orange mare that stood before him. She looked at him disapprovingly and Twitchums shot back up on his hooves, giving an awkward smile as he did so.
“Uh, sorry. I haven’t had a chance to sit in such a beautiful are in a while.” He explained, remembering the harsh prison he had spent the past 5 years in. Applejack said it was ok and invited him inside to share some dinner. The three of them walked back to the farmhouse, talking the entire way. Except Big Macintosh, because he’s a shy little dickens.
The home was antiquatedly furnished, but the rural charm was enough to put a smile on Twitchums face. Then his eye twitched. Suddenly he broke down crying, tears pouring down his face. Applejack rushed over to her new friend and wrapped a hoof around him.
“What’s wrong Sugarcube?” She rubbed a hoof through his mane, sending shivers up his spine. Big Macintosh shrugged at the scene and walked away to prepare dinner. Twitchums looked up at the orange mare and into her emerald eyes. He felt a comfort in those eyes that didn’t seem possible. He had only just met her, but felt he could relate his entire life story to her.
“I know you won’t believe this, but my name ‘Twitchums’ isn’t my real name.” Applejack gasped in shock at the revelation. “I got it because… because….” Twitchums sniffled and regained his composure. “My eye twitches every so often.” His memory floated back to flight school.
“When I was a foal, nopony liked me. I was a freak. A total loser. Not only was I the only alicorn, but my occasional twitches would scare the children. But then one day, a filly about my age sat next to me in lunch. She too had problems with her eyes. Her name… was Ditzy.” Applejack once again gasped. She knew a pony named Ditzy! Maybe it was the same one.
“We hung out and laughed with each other every day.” He continued. “People called me Twitchums and called her Derpy. We would be sad, but knowing that we had each other, we could get through the day anyway. Then one day she moved to Fillydelphia, leaving me behind.”
“Then one day, I ran away from home in search of her. It took years, but I found her. She was already married and had a foal named Dinky. It was the first time in years that my eye twitched and I felt all the pain from my childhood boil back inside. Since then I’ve been a murderous rampage, slaughtering all ponies that dare point out my muscle contractions.”
“Shh, Sugarcube. It’s alight.” Applejack comforted him, apparently fine with his criminal past. “Howbout you stay here for a few days just til ya get back on yer hooves.”
“What? But you only just met me?” Twitchums was confused, but felt something in his heart he hadn’t felt in years. “I know, but you seem like a nice pony. The only condition is that ya gotta help Big Mac and I around on the farm.” Twitchums smiled and nodded.
The three enjoyed their apple based dinner and left the table afterwards to hit the hay. While the guest room was being set up, Twitchums was told to sleep in Applejack’s sister’s room. She had apparently been out Crusading or something. His massive body hung out of the bed, but still he felt more comfortable here than he had since flight school with Ditzy. He closed his eyes, knowing what was going to happen next because the author is relatively predictable.
A knock was heard on the wooden door. It seemed to light to be from Big Macintosh so Twitchums instantly thought it was Applejack. “Come in.” He called out softly. Sure enough, Applejack trotted in the room with a lit candle in her mouth. She placed in in the candle holder besides Twitchums bed and sat beside him.
Twitchums noticed that she vaguely smelled of apples and smiled at her. “What’s up AJ?” He asked her.
“Well…” She began, kicking her hooves off the side of the bed. “Twitchums, what’s your real name?” She looked deep into his puny red eyes, a sense of longing filling her body. Something about this alicorn was so irresistible.
“My real name?” He was brought back by the question. “What, why do you wanna know?” Nopony had called him his name since he was a foal. He can vaguely remember the voice of his parents calling the name out to him as he ran away. He quickly shook the vision away and looked back at the orange mare in front of her. Her trademark Stetson hat and red hair bands were nowhere to be found, leaving her blonde mane to cascade messily down her muzzle.
“I need you to promise not to tell anypony.” He said to her. She nodded quickly. “You’ll be the pony pony I’ve ever told this too. But something about you makes me trust you deeply.” They looked into each other’s eyes briefly (but not too long, cause that’d be creepy) and slowly moved forward. Their lips touched slowly. A rush of feelings came over both the ponies who sat hoof in hoof.
“My real name is …”