Wildcard got up from his desk, grabbed the shotgun on top, and quickly threw the old officers coat over himself. He had prepared for this, and there was a bandolier of red shotgun shells that he had stitched to it as well. Underneath was a few plates of metal for added protection.
"It's time... to clean house," He said, with a great smirk as he cocked the firearm.
It was already loaded though, so it spat out a shell. He meekly inserted it back into the magazine and collected himself before heading into the corridor. Two Night Guards stood, shouting angrily at Lyra.
"We don't care! We want..." They noticed Wildcard, and turned to him.
"Me?" Wildcard asked.
They were no fools, and drew their own arms- a pair of rifles pointed towards Wildcard.
"I've got something you don't," He gloated, and tore the weapons from their hooves with a magic field.
They looked at each other, shocked, just before Wildcard put a shell of buckshot in each of them dead center, sending their bodies flying backwards. Wildcard stood smirking with the smoking gun, two ejected shells clattering on the floor below him.
"Oh Wildcard!" Lyra swooned, and darted over to grasp his strong, muscular, arms. Wildcard had biceps of steel and that shotgun wasn't the only gun he had. No, he had a pair of much better arms attached to his perfect stallion body.
"I'm taken miss," Wildcard said, and smoothly blasted a third night guard that had happened in through the doorway.
Lyra gazed up at him, rubbing his arm softly. "Oh Wildcard, she's.. lucky," she sighed.
Wildcard put three shells in the magazine, and pushed her aside. This was just the start, he knew, and soon enough it would be the end.
"I'm gonna put a few holes in your half moon!" Wildcard shouted, and charged out the door into the street. From above he heard his name called as he went through the street, and saw Celestia hovering above.
"Wildcard! You're our only hope! You've got to stop Mezza Luna, she's gone crazy!" She shouted down at him.
"I always knew it would come down to this, me or her. It's gonna be me," Wildcard said to himself, and slid around the corner. Two night guards stood down the road guarding the entrance to the underground.
They didn't remain standing for long, and Wildcard leapt over them on his way down there.
"Subway to the danger zone," Wildcard smirked.
"Subway to hell!" A voice shouted, and a volley of bullets ripped through the hallway. Ahead another night guard had come around the corner, and was staring him down, firing with his rifle.
"Maybe for you!" Wildcard yelled, and blasted him into the wall with a burst of magic energy. His rifle went flying forwards, and after dispatching him with a buckshot shell Wildcard picked it up.
"The firepower has been doubled," he said, and kicked open the door to the underground train station. Long since shut down, but it was a good way to get into the mountain.
The Night Guard apparently knew he was coming, and a whole squad of them stood on the other platform across from him in the dark room.
"Give it up Wildcard, you can't take us all!" One of them yelled.
Wildcard quickly counted them. Seventeen Night Guards, all armed and armoured.
"I may be outnumbered...." Wildcard said, and put a pair of shades over his eyes.
"... but friendship is magic!" He said, and released another burst of magical energy as he dove forward.
The Night Guards were stunned, allowing Wildcard to dart into the subway tunnel. As he ran he threw a grenade backwards, and it exploded behind without him so much as flinching.
"Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!" Wildcard shouted, continuing down the tunnel.Old abandoned subway cars littered it, and one of them lit up as a Night Guard took shots from it. Wildcard ducked behind another, and counted to five before coming out screaming, firing both guns. The metal of the car was annihilated by the barrage, and the potshots quickly ceased.
Wildcard dropped the expended rifle, and trotted over as he reloaded the shotgun. The Night Guard was very, very, dead. Wildcard assumed his form before continuing on. Shortly down the way a pair of night guards stuck their heads out of another train car.
"Did you get him?" One of them asked, trembling with fear.
"I sure did," Wildcard said, and trotted right on past.
"What... how d.." One of them started, but was hit in the face with a live grenade which quickly went off, vaporizing the entire train as Wildcard continued on.
"Never bet on a wildcard," He smirked.
Up ahead he saw the exit into the mountain, and took wing to zip through a volley of fire that had been awaiting him. A few of the guards flew up and followed him through the air, and he dropped his disguise.
Wildcard easily dodged their attempts to shoot him. "I didn't bring birdshot," Wildcard said, firing the shotgun back at one of them, sending him crashing into a building with a fiery explosion. "But this will have to do!" He finished, sending the other careening into a fountain.
Ding
Wildcard felt a tingle, and noted that his armour had apparently absorbed a bullet from below.
Or rather it didn't, and he was now bleeding rather profusely. Half a centimetre of steel was apparently not enough.
He gritted his teeth and flew onwards with a renewed vigor. He was gonna kill Mezza Luna, even if it was he last thing he ever did. So he flew towards the highest window, and crashed through it.
"Half moon! Where are you!" He shouted, rolling to a stop on the floor, covered in glass.
"Right behind you!" Mezza Luna shouted, and leapt on his back.
Wildcard was sent to the ground, and he felt his energy fading fast. He was bleeding out, but he still had a plan.
"We only need one Luna, and it isn't you!" Wildcard shouted, kicking her off with what remained of his strength and pulling a grenade off his coat. The pin he pulled off with his teeth, and he allowed the handle to fly off with a quiet ping.
"You'll kill us both!" Mezza Luna shouted, slipping on the glass in her attempt to escape her end.
"I'm already dead," Wildcard grunted, and jumped on her back.
A fiery inferno took them both, and was heard all around the mountain.
The next day Celestia held a state funeral, and they built a statue in his honor. The month of April was renamed Wildril, and Saturday became Wildday. Forever more he was known as the patron saint of a stallions virility, and his daughter would go on to kill Chrysalis, take the hive for herself, and lead them to a prosperous future. The name Wildcard was forever etched into history.
Then he woke up.
"Dammit, why do they always end with me dying?" He wondered, and removed his head from his desk.
"Just once, could I live, just once?" He asked nobody in particular, and took a swig of cider. Glancing down to where it went, he prodded his gut and sighed.
"Just once!"