//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5 
// Story: What If? 
// by BronyNeumo 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 5

There is a particular type of silence that seems all-pervasive. The very air around one's head can seem heavy – entrapping, even – with the anticipation of words unsaid. Ultimately, it can be triggered by many things; a seemingly innocent lull in a conversation, perhaps, or even the drop of a particularly unpleasant or ominous bit of news. In the case of the four friends who stood in the center of the sparsely, yet cozily, decorated bedroom, the cause was exactly that. The silence that reigned after Rarity's exclamation seemed to grow without bound, swelling and bulging to neatly engulf the entire space around them. The room became deathly still – so quiet that even the light rustling of the parchment could be distinctly heard as it slipped from Twilight Sparkle's magical grasp and lazily meandered its way down to the floor.

Each second that passed by seemed a minute, just as each minute seemed an hour. No one spoke, the weight of the sudden revelation dragging heavily on their minds. To each pony present, it was as if they could hear each individual thought as it whirled through their heads. Questions, ideas, and any other type of thought pushed its way into the forefront of their consciousness, whirling and making noise as it flashed by. The perceived sounds of each thought grew together to form a cacophony of noiseless ideas that dominated the attentions of each pony as their minds worked at a furious pace. Thus, in its complete perfection, the silence grew deafeningly loud. It weighed heavily on them. Internally, each willed the others to speak first. The silence seemed too oppressive for them to break it themselves, but it seemed so excruciating that each pony hoped another would do the honors in their stead.

Pinkie Pie was the first to break that silence. For the energetic pony, her natural affinity for speaking finally beat out her trepidation to shatter the deafening quiet. She voiced much the same question that had been posed by Rarity seemingly centuries previous. "Dashie's gone?"

It was as if she had thrown a switch. As soon as her words broke the perceived barrier of the silent room, each pony present broke forth in a nearly indiscernible clash of voices.

"What are we going to do?"

"Should we tell somepony?"

"She could hurt herself!"

"She could get lost!"

"What was she thinking?"

"Should we go after her?"

"We need to make sure she's safe!"

"What should we do?"

"We have to find her!"

"We need to go now!"

"She can't have gone very far."

"What if she…"

"EVERYPONY QUIET!" Almost as suddenly as it had begun, the nearly incoherent babbling of the assembled ponies was silenced by Twilight Sparkle's loud exclamation. The three friends turned to look at their companion. The purple unicorn's eyes were wide and she seemed to be glaring, her chest heaving with each breath after her outburst. After a few deep breaths, Twilight's gaze cooled and she seemed to return to a more placid state. She still looked quite distressed, however. "We need to calm down and think this through."

Pinkie Pie, however, still had the energy, and the initiative, to argue. "Come on Twilight, she'll get even further away if we dilly-dally!"

"No, Twilight's right." Rarity, who had been flustered before, now spoke in a calm, leveled voice. "This is a very delicate situation. We need to treat it carefully."

"But she could get herself lost, or hurt, or something else super-de-dupery bad!" Pinkie Pie jumped in place, itching to leave in pursuit of their missing friend.

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. "I know Pinkie, but it won't help her at all if we just rush out in search of her. We have no idea where she went or how to find her. We need to think this through first, or else we'll never be able to find her."

"Besides, Darling." Rarity smiling wanly to her pink friend. "Rainbow Dash can fly faster than anypony else I know. She could be miles away by now, and the only way to follow her would be to send Fluttershy out after her, and it's getting dark."

"Besides, I can't fly nearly as fast as Rainbow Dash, and I don't even know what direction she went. I'm sorry Pinkie, but I can't do it."

"But I… But we…" Pinkie Pie's head visibly fell as she realized she lost the debate. "What should we do?"

"Oh Pinkie," Twilight stepped forward to lay a comforting hoof over her friend's shoulder. "We should all go home and get a good night's sleep. Maybe we'll have a good idea in the morning, but the best thing we can do right now is get a grip on the situation."

No matter how much she wanted to argue, Pinkie Pie realized that her unicorn friend was right. Even though she hated the thought of Dashie being out there alone, she knew there was nothing she could do right then. "Pinkie-Pie-promise me that we'll find her."

Twilight smiled. "I promise." Even the normal hoof-gestures were unnecessary. Her voice carried enough resignation for a dozen Pinkie-Pie-promises.

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It was summer, and as a matter of principle, the days were hot. However, in complete contradiction to the season, the nights, although remaining relatively warm for the few hours after the sun went down, still grew very cold by the wee hours of dawn. It was a contrast that ultimately drove most ponies indoors to sleep, only the hardiest of night-owls daring to brave the chill of Luna's night. This was true of the patrons of the bar in Manesville, as it was true of several of the more fun-loving citizens of Equestria's larger cities, especially Manehattanites, who supremely enjoyed the night-life. Ponyville, by comparison, had few night-owls. However, there were those who were fond of staying up late, especially at a particularly good party. Pinkie Pie, of course, was counted among this number, as had been her often partner-in-crime, Rainbow Dash, who was notorious for making up lost sleep with daytime naps.

The pegasus, of course, had spent the majority of her nights since her suicide attempt in bed, often sharing her place of sleep with Applejack. Cast into a lonely world without her lover, however, the cyan pegasus made use of her ample experience as a night-owl to fly deep into the night.

The chilled wind of the night bit at her face and whipped her multicolored mane into a frenzy as she pushed herself forward, one wing-beat at a time. In truth, she had no idea where she was going. Her mind was dominated by one thing: Applejack. She didn't know her destination, but she knew who she was going to find there. She was sure of it. Every so often, she would glance downwards, making use of the illumination of Luna's moon to make sure that she was still following the road as she flew. She knew to follow the road, there was no way Applejack and her father would have walked across the open countryside, she reasoned. She even knew which road to follow out of town, having asked several ponies who had seen the farmer pony and her father leave which way they had gone.

A split was coming up in the road, Rainbow Dash could see it ahead of her in the moonlight, even as she squinted in the biting wind. To her left, Rainbow Dash could see a faint glow on the horizon. She knew the sun had long gone down, as evidenced by the brisk chill of the air at her altitude. She also knew that the light of the day was not due to rise for several hours more. The glow in the distance could only be one thing: Manehattan. Equestria's large city was about a good journey from Ponyville, but Rainbow Dash knew there was a road that led there all the same. The left fork of the road below her continued towards the glow that marked the city. As she passed over the junction, Rainbow Dash angled right.

From the snippets of conversation that she had heard between Applejack and her father, Rainbow Dash knew that they had been headed to a small town. Thankfully, she would not have to search for her marefriend in Manehattan. She soon put the glow on the horizon behind her as she flew her way over the rolling hills and forests of the landscape.

"Don't worry Applejack, I'm coming. We'll be together again soon." They were empty words, spoken to an empty sky. In truth, she didn't even know if Applejack wanted to see her. Rainbow Das didn't even know what she would do if she ever found her marefriend. The earth pony certainly wasn't expecting her lover to show up, and Rainbow Dash worried that Applejack wouldn't be pleased. Still, she flew on, determined to see her lover again. She wouldn't, couldn't, give up. In a very real way, Rainbow Dash sensed that, somehow, her life depended on finding the other pony. She couldn't bear to be without her.

The late-night journey had, unfortunately, taken a toll on the Rainbow-maned pegasus. After having flown for longer than she cared to keep track of, Rainbow Dash was reaching a state of mental and physical strain that she, as an athlete, knew she experienced whenever she tried to overexert herself.

Try as she might, she could no longer ignore the symptoms. At one point, she caught herself with her eyes closed. She had never fallen asleep while flying before, and she didn't plan to now. Sighing in resignation, she decided that she had no choice but to stop for the night and get some well-needed rest.

Squinted against the blowing air, she spotted a cloud only a short distance ahead of her. She knew that she needed some rest, and she could feel the aches and strain in her body even more now that she thought about it. Her wings groaned in protest with each flap, her muscles aching in a way that she had hardly experienced in a long time. Finally, she closed in on the cloud, planting her hooves firmly on the springy yet supportive surface. She breathed a sigh of relief as she folded her wings to her sides. The aching began to subside, and she felt her eyelids start to slide down again.

Unceremoniously, she flopped down onto her side on the surface of the small cloud. She felt herself sink down into the soft surface and allowed a small smile to cross her face. As she drifted off, she tried not to think of the dreams. She hoped against hope that she would not be visited by them in her sleep, but she had no certainty of peace. All she could do was picture the one pony who could stave off the nightmares. Visions of an orange earth pony with a flowing blonde mane ran their way through her mind's eye as she allowed sleep to take her.

"Don't worry. We'll be together soon."

==================================================================================

Night had fallen several hours ago. It was fairly long past the time when Applejack would usually turn in for the night, but still she foraged ahead – fully awake. She had already exhausted her book, yet she remained awake, waiting for the moment when her perseverance and patience would pay off. The moonlight, filtered through the still-grimy windows, gave little ambience to the scene. Only the candles she had lit provided her with enough light to see by. She knew it was long past dark outside, but no matter how much she worried, she dared not venture out into unfamiliar territory in the dead of night. So she waited.

The unmistakable creak of rusty hinges on an old door was all that was needed for Applejack to jerk her gaze up quickly from her spot on the couch. The deep, cool blue of the night was plainly visible to her in the steadily-growing crack of the gradually-opening door. She knew who it was before she even saw him. He was, of course, who she had been waiting for all this time. He was the only other pony who could possibly arrive at the old cabin at such a late hour.

"Just where in the hay have ya been?" Applejack stood up from her laying position on the couch. In a few swift steps, she had crossed the room and now stood in front of her father, who still occupied the doorway.

He pushed forward, seemingly undaunted by the presence of his daughter, and forced Applejack to jump to the side as he wobbled his way clumsily into the room. He swayed wildly with each step, as if he was unsure of where to place his hooves as he attempted to move forward. He offered forth no answer as he stumbled toward the door to his bedroom.

Almost snorting in her readily-apparent frustration, Applejack jumped forward to place herself in his path again. This time he stopped, finding the mare thoroughly blocking his path. He tottered slightly from side-to-side and only barely managed to keep himself from falling forward as his momentum very nearly brought him to the floor. Applejack looked him over with a keen eye, the frown on her face growing larger and larger as her gaze registered his roughish, unkempt appearance. "Ah said… just where in the hay have you been." Applejack was nearly scowling now.

The stallion, squinting as he tried to focus his vision on the mare in front of him, scowled back. "I don't gotta esshplain mahself to you."

"You're drunk."

"Ssho what if I… if I 'm?"

"Consarnit, Dad! Ya can't do this! Ta hear you talk 'bout wantin' ta get yer life back together, well this is half the problem! Ya can't go out doin' this every night! Ya can't jus-"

The particularly sharp blow of a rather large hoof to the side of her face came as a complete surprise. In truth, the thought had never even crossed Applejack's mind that her father might lash out at her, let alone actually hit her, for any reason. She had especially considered the stallion, in his obviously inebriated state, to be almost completely incapable of mustering the strength and coordination needed for such a blow. Nonetheless, she staggered sideways, thrown completely out-of-balance by the strike to her cheek. It was very nearly all she could do to prevent herself from slamming into the ground in her wild stumble, and quite possibly sustaining injury other than her smarting cheek. "What in the hay?" She gasped out loud as she finally managed to regain her balance, turning quickly to face her father and bracing for the possibility of another strike.

"I'm gonna shay thish once, and only once." Cider managed to stop his swaying altogether for a moment, standing briefly as a very imposing figure over his daughter. "No mare, 'shpeshially not mah daughter, bosshesh me around."

Applejack, too shocked to offer a rebuttal, or any other reply of any kind, could only stare in complete confusion, disgust, and minor horror as he staggered his way into the bedroom.

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Morning came to Ponyville much as it always had, accompanied by a brilliant array of colors cast upon the unsuspecting canvas of the sky by the rising sun. Celestia's great orb beamed its warming light into the homes of numerous ponies, signaling for many that start of a brand new day. For four friends, however, sleep had been hard to come by.

The first light of the dawn found Rarity wide awake and alert, quite contrary to the normal behavior of the white unicorn who was well-known to relish her beauty-sleep. She made use of the early-morning rays as she strode from her dress-shop to make the short walk to the library.

The library, despite its quiet and less-than-popular aspects, had achieved a special distinction for the group of six friends. In the event of almost any crisis that happened to involve them, the library was the unofficial meeting place that seemed to always host them in times of need. So too, as Rarity trotted her way towards the tree-turned structure, was it filling this function.

Rarity opened the door and stepped into the library without knocking. There was, understandably, an unspoken agreement between these good friends that the library was always open to them in times of crisis. This was, decidedly, one of those times. The daylight flowing through the windows illuminated the room as Rarity gently stepped over the threshold. "Twilight? Twilight, dear?" Stepping around a bookcase, Rarity sighed, smiling as she did so.

A rather large book lay open upon the main table of the library's great room. Next to this book, a burnt-out candle stood, its charred wick barely poking above the candle-holder. It had obviously gone out hours before, having exhausted its fuel supply when nopony was around, or awake, to blow it out. The reason for that was abundantly clear. Slumped over the table, with her face buried in the open pages of the book, was Twilight Sparkle. Rarity chuckled to herself at her friend's sleeping form, before trotting over to gently nudge the other unicorn awake.

"Wha… Huh?... Spike?... What's… what's going on?"

"Oh, Twilight, Dear, you've fallen asleep in a book… again."

"Oh…" Twilight Sparkle stifled a yawn as she stretched, lifting her head from the table. "Hello, Rarity. Wait… OH! Rarity!"

"Yes, Darling?"

"I found it! I found it!"

"Found what?"

"What we need. Look, look here." She grasped the open book and spun it on the table so that Rarity could see the page. The title written across the top of the page read 'Divination for Fillies'. Rarity scanned the page for several seconds, barely understand the complicated spells listed and detailed before her eyes.

"What am I looking for?"

"This. Right… here." Twilight pointed out the spot on the large page with a hoof. "This is what we need to find Rainbow Dash, look at this." She reached over to the other side of the table, pulling over an old, crinkled, yellowed piece of parchment. She flipped it over, revealing to her friend a large assortment of lines, symbols, and characters. Rarity immediately recognized it as a map of Equestria. "I can use this, and a piece of Rainbow Dash, and do this spell here," Twilight Sparkle began speaking quite animatedly, tapping at a passage in the book furiously, "and then the spell will show us, on the map, where she is!"

"A… piece… of Rainbow Dash?"

"Like a hair, or something. Come on, we have to get the others and see if we can find something to use!"

The two unicorns rushed out of the library, and in due course, returned with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. The four friends gathered around the same center table in the great room, where Twilight Sparkle magically whisked a hairbrush from her saddle-bags and laid it out on the table. "Ok, I found Applejack's hairbrush, but I didn't find anything like that for Rainbow Dash. Did you girls find anything?"

Rarity and Pinkie Pie both shook their heads. Twilight Sparkle turned to Fluttershy, who nervously reached her mouth into a space behind her mane, brushing aside long pink strands as she uncovered a small alcove within her own mane. "I found this." She whispered through clenched teeth as she drew something very small out. Delicately, she laid a tiny, cyan feather on the table.

Twilight smiled brightly. "That'll work beautifully. Everypony stand back." Her friends did as she told; knowing full well to leave the unicorn plenty of space when performing complicated magic. With her magical aura, she removed a single blonde strand of hair from Applejack's hair brush. As she poured more magic into the spell, her face grew contorted in concentration and the hair began to glow. Slowly, it lowered further and further toward the surface of the table before finally contacting the spread-out map. Instantly, the hair disappeared, the entire map giving off a faint glow for a fraction of a second as it seemed to absorb it. Twilight Sparkle broke her concentration and opened her eyes to survey her handiwork. A tiny, golden dot seemed to be glowing from a remote corner of the map.

"There, there she is!" Rarity clapped her hooves against the floor in excitement, knowing full well what this meant. "Oh, Twilight Sparkle, you absolute genius!"

"Thanks, Rare, but I still have to do Rainbow Dash." Familiar with the spell now, Twilight Sparkle enveloped the small feather in her aura and began to perform the same sequence on it. Soon enough, a bright cyan dot was glowing from the map as well. Twilight cried out in joy when she saw it. "Ok…ok, if Ponyville is here," her voice grew suddenly serious, "And Applejack is here… hey, Rainbow Dash is heading in the right direction. She's getting pretty close to AJ."

"Come on, Twilight! Are we gonna go after her now? Are we? Are we? Are we?" Pinkie Pie began bouncing up and down as she repeated her question over and over again, unable to contain her excitement.

"Of course," Twilight Sparkle stuffed the map quickly, but carefully, into her saddlebags, trotting towards the door as she spoke. "There isn't a moment to lose. Let's go, girls!"

===================================================================================

When she woke up, Rainbow Dash was, at first, confused. The sensation of the rays of sunlight teasing her eyelids was annoying, but not altogether something she wasn't used to. She often had to ignore the assault in order to steal more sleep, as she often did. Besides, her cloud was comfortable, and the breeze that gently tickled her fur was so as well.

The problem that her newly-conscious mind began picking over, even as she tried to will herself back to sleep, was that she seemed to be on a cloud, and if her often-unreliable early-morning memory was to be believed, she should have been in applejack's bed. A slightly stronger gust of breeze blew across her mane. Rainbow Dash instantly bolted upright.

"Where am I?" Rainbow Dash looked around frantically, taking in the rather unfamiliar countryside before her until the previous day's proceedings dawned on her in a sudden flash.

She looked down from her high perch, scanning the land below her. She gasped out loud when what she saw finally registered in her mind. "Oh, no!" She jumped frantically from her cloud, her wings immediately catching the air as she unfurled them and propelled herself forward into the sky. Somehow, almost inconceivably, she could not see the road.

Her mind was running over the problem of how this could have happened. The answer was immediately obvious to her. The wind must have blown the cloud away from the road sometime during the night. Hoping that she was right, and hoping even more that the wind hadn't shifted some time since, she angled herself and flew into the breeze, scanning the ground for any sign of a road.

It was not long until a grey-brown ribbon, stretching along the landscape, revealed itself to her from behind a rise of hills. She angled downward, sweeping down towards it and watching the dusty road grow as she approached it. With practiced precision, she landed softly on the dusty surface. It was such an underused road that the dirt and dust that had blown up from the surface had covered all but the most recent signs of travel. There were only a few hoof prints visible in the fine dirt, but those that were visible made a clear impression. She approached the most promising set of prints. There was only one way she could know if this was the right path. She bent down, bringing her face close to the dusty surface. Bringing her nose right to the edge of hoof impression, she inhaled deeply, smiling involuntarily as she did so.

"Apples."

===================================================================================

The little shack hardly got any light inside, not even during the day. Having to constantly use candles, especially when there was such good, natural light available outside, had been growing more and more on Applejack's nerves the longer she stayed with her father. She had always been a fan of the outdoors and natural light anyway, it was one of the things, along with fresh air, that she enjoyed most about living on a farm.

It was for this reason that she found herself outside in the late afternoon, scrubbing furiously with a wet dishrag at one of the grimy windows. If only for her own personal comfort, she wanted to brings something of the outdoors inside the shack. The fact that it gave her an excuse to avoid her father, the memory of their encounter the night previous still fresh in her mind, was an added benefit she gladly accepted.

It was not hard for her to fully absorb herself in her work, and as she scrubbed at the big window that overhung her couch-bed, occasionally dipping her rag back into a bucket of soapy water, she began to notice real improvement. It still came as somewhat of a shock to her, though, how much dirt and grime had built up on the surface. I was as if no one had bothered to clean it for years, decades, even, and it was hard work to get a part of the glass clean enough to the point where she could see through it. Even then, she had to move on to another, equally as dirty, equally as difficult to clean, section. It was tedious and steadfast, but it gave her a distraction, so she kept at it.

She grew so absorbed in her task that she didn't even notice as the sky grew darker. When she finally finished scrubbing clean the entire window, it was well into sunset. It actually surprised her for a moment when she looked up, and she chuckled at her own indifference. Picking up her bucket in her mouth, she carried it inside, set on dumping its contents into the sink and stowing the bucket in the closet where she had found it. It was still shocking to her how her father had managed to get by with so few amenities.

Her task accomplished, she turned from the sink and, in the process, caught a fleeting glance of the door to her father's room. It was ajar. She could see straight in. The door had been closed when she had gone outside earlier in the day; she had assumed that he had been sleeping over what had to be a hangover, judging by his behavior the night before. She had been content to leave him to it. Now, however, he was nowhere in sight. For the second time in as many days, her father had left the house without her knowledge. She mentally cursed herself and her indifference. She knew now exactly where he must have gone. He would, of course, be at the bar in town.

Her gaze hardened into a scowl as she stared at the plain walls of the cabin. She had hardly ever lost her temper in recent days; she found that playing nurse to Rainbow Dash had a calming effect on her anger, but this? This was too much. Feeling her frustration building, she kicked the wood floor in a brief outlet of her own rage. Her hoof merely scuffed the slightly duty surface. She scowled. She decided one thing then and there: she wasn't going to let him get away with it this time.

It was not so much of a long walk to get into town, but it was even darker by the time she arrived. She knew where she would find him. He had, of course, shown her the bar on her first visit to the dingy hamlet. The lighting seemed just as low and the atmosphere just as repulsive as it had been that other night. She spotted him almost instantly through the gloom of the tavern. He was, once again, hunched over the bar, a half-emptied glass by his hoof. Stifling an angry snort, she wasted no time approaching the bar.

For all her anger with her father and her stubborn, impulsive decision to confront him, Applejack now realized that she hadn't really given thought to how to go about the actual confrontation. She stood, a few hoof-lengths behind him, ready to make her presence known, and she had no idea how to best go about it. Consequently, she decided to wing it. She reached up and tapped him on the shoulder.

His response, considering his seemingly less-than-alert state, was still rather quick. He was, at first, surprised to be bothered in a place where he was normally left alone. In his inebriated state, it took him still a few moments to recognize that it was his own daughter accosting him. When he did, he didn't say anything. He sighed, turned back to the bar to finish his drink, and then spun around, rather clumsily, to face her. They stood, staring at each other, neither entirely sure what to say, for several moments, before Applejack beckoned him outside. He followed her without protest.

Once outside, in the dim light of the moon on the dusty main road, Applejack still found herself at a loss for what to say. It was, however, to her surprise, Cider who broke the silence. "Go back. You sshouldn't be here." Applejack could her him slur his words slightly as he spoke, and she saw him sway from side to side, as if standing up straight was already too much of a challenge for him. She shook her head.

"Ya shouldn't be here either, Dad. Ya can't keep doin' this. It's not good for ya."

"I've been doing thissh for yearssh. It'sh not yer place to tell me what to do."

"Ah thought ya wanted me ta help ya get yer life back together. Clearly, you'd just rather poison yerself. Now come on, we're both going back. Ah'm not lettin' you stay here."

"Didn't you hear me? I Shaid no mare bosshesh me around. I'm goin' back inshide. You'd bessht leave."

"No, Ah'm not gonna let ya hurt yerself. Otherwise there's no point in me bein' here at all."

"I said… leave… now."

"No."

Cider looked down his snout, focusing his gaze directly on his daughter. He leaned in closer. Applejack could taste the sharp tang of alcohol on his breath, still she did not back down. He glared. She glared back. They stared each other down in this way for several moments, the heightened silence passing between them speaking more than angry, slurred words ever could. With every sway of his body, every foul discharge of his breath, Applejack watched him. She saw his bloodshot golden eyes search her over. She did not flinch. When he raised a hoof, preparing for another strike much like the night before, she saw it. She was ready.

He brought his hoof out from a wide arc, wobbling unsteadily on his three remaining hooves as he struggled to keep his balance. In his mind, he was teaching an insubordinate daughter a lesson. In her mind, she was waiting for exactly the right moment.

Applejack had often prided herself on her fighting skills. From playful bouts at rodeos to more serious situations, she had always made sure she could know and anticipate her opponent's moves. It nearly came as second nature to her. In her mind's eye, it was as if the hoof, now flying towards her cheek in the sweeping arc of a wide hay-maker, was traveling in slow motion. Last night, she had not been expecting it. That had been a mistake. This time, she was ready.

Just as his hoof passed into her peripheral vision, she brought her own front hoof, striking the incoming threat upwards with enough force to deflect its trajectory harmlessly upwards and away from her face. She watched the surprised look form on her father's face as he was unbalanced. She chose this moment to jump forward. Taking advantage of his compromised position, she darted in and swept his other front hoof out from underneath him in a sweeping move that, in his inebriated state, he did not see coming. She ducked and rolled to the side just as his already unbalanced body came crashing down to the dirt with a thud.

His large body hit the dust clumsily. He groaned as he struggled to get his hooves back under him. Applejack stood over him, looking down in disgust and shame at the weak, drunken form of her father. "This ain't worth it. You're just a mean old drunk, just like ya were before ya left. Ah'm goin' home. Ya don't need mah help. You're far gone enough. Ah wanna see Rainbow Dash again. Ah'm goin' home."

She turned and began to walk away. She hoped he wouldn't try to follow her, but she watched out of the corner of her eye for him all the same. Behind her, Cider finally managed to shakily bring himself back up to four hooves. He squinted through the dim moonlight, watching the receding form of his own daughter as she abandoned him. Applejack saw him get up, but she didn't see his grin. "You're gonna run back home t' yer fillyfriend? Fine." He spat.

Applejack stopped in her tracks, whirling around as she heard the trigger word. "What did you say?"

"Yer fillyfriend? That'sh what sshe ish, ishn't sshe?" Cider snarled at her and began advancing towards her, staggering as he tried to walk from a combination of the effects of too much drink and the pain in his fore legs. She stayed rooted in her spot. "I never thought I would raise a fillyfooler."

Applejack felt as if she was immobile. She hated that word. She couldn't stand it when ponies used it. It was terrible, demeaning, and all the worse because of who was saying it. As she stood there, barely able to watch his shakily advancing form in the pale moonlight, she felt she had never hated a pony more in her life than she did him, right then. She wanted to jump at him; to knock him hard into the dirt and tear into his body; to sink blow after blow from her hooves into his grinning face. But she couldn't. She was stuck. She couldn't move.

He just kept coming. He drew closer and closer. She couldn't bare it. He was right in her face. She could taste the alcohol on his breath as he stared right into her eyes. He began to laugh. Every single breath he exhaled sent a puff of acrid air right into her snout. She hated him. She wanted him gone, but she could do nothing. She stayed stock-still, her mouth agape, staring into his eyes like a dear caught in headlights.

She was in shock. It was a blind, crippling shock borne of intense hatred and something else she didn't know. All the same, she was unable to move. She barely heard him as he spoke again, taunting her. "My own daughter, a fillyfooler. You're just a shame, a disshgrace. Fillyfooler."

She didn't see him raise his hoof a second time. She didn't see him bring it up behind his head. She didn't see it come flying at her, not aimed for her cheek this time. She was too entranced in a combination of chock and horror.

For a split second, she felt the crushing blow of the hoof strike the back of her head, before everything went completely dark, and she could feel nothing.

===============================================================================

Another day had brought Rainbow Dash no closer to her destination, wherever that was. She was beginning to lose hope. She didn't even know if the road she was following would lead her to the right place anymore. She had passed several small towns, and the ponies there had all told her they hadn't seen Applejack, nor a large brown stallion.

Night had fallen, and Rainbow Dash was already exhausted. She began to wonder if she had only imagined the faint scent of apples on the road earlier that morning. With her wings aching, her body protesting, and her mind ready to give up, she found another cloud and dropped herself into it. The soft, fluffy cushion did nothing to sooth her.

She stared up at the endless sky. A perfectly infinite painting of stars was spread out before her, and the crown jewel of the night sky, Luna's moon, shone down on her with an intensity that made her cringe. Still, she stared upwards. She could do nothing more. Her body hurt, she could no longer push herself any further. She didn't even know if she was on the right path anymore. She wanted to cry. She couldn't, so she whispered quietly to the moon.

"What if I never find her? What if I never see her again? What if she doesn't want to see me anymore? What if I get lost out here? What if…" She rolled over, unable to ponder her fate any longer. Still, the tears would not come. She, by the grace of an exhausted mind and body, had been afforded the gift of uninterrupted sleep the night before. This night, however, she knew there would be no such luck for her. No matter how tired her body ad mind were this night, she knew she would have the dreams again. She could feel them coming like some sort of inevitable disaster.

She had felt this way before, once or twice in her life. The last time she had felt it, she had nearly killed herself. She knew the feeling. It was despair. "Is there anypony out there who… is lost and hurt and lonely too…?" For Rainbow Dash, it felt as if she was bleeding all her colors into one. A cold, grey, lifeless Rainbow Dash would haunt her dreams, one she had only seen once before.