//------------------------------// // Chapter Two (Redux) // Story: This Gift // by Dconstructed Reconstruct //------------------------------// I stood in stunned silence, my thoughts muddling together into an incomprehensible din. Before I could ponder Spike’s words, I heard the front door to the library open, the roar of the blizzard filling my ears.   Spike, no... I didn’t mean it.   I heard Spike’s bitter chuckle, his footfalls echoing away from me.   Please. I’m sorry. I don’t what to say! I don’t know what to do!   The door creaked shut. The wind stopped.   Come back, Spike. I… Please, come back.   My mind continued to swirl chaotically as thousands of different thoughts threatened to drive me insane. I turned to face the door, but could not move my hooves. The din in my mind intensified as dozens of rotating voices lashed at me.   What a creep!   Love a dragon? That’s illogical!   How could I ever love him?   He’s your best friend. He’s always been your best friend!   A princess and her assistant were never meant to be together!   A shiver ran up my spine as I tried to make sense of the voices. I should have seen the signs. The two of us had been inseparable growing up, and had been through so much together over the years.   I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “Oh Celestia, what am I thinking!?” I knelt back down on my cushion and tried the breathing exercise that Cadence had taught me so long ago. After a minute, I took a deep inhale and held it. After slowly exhaling, I looked back at the door. “I-I mean, what was he thinking?” I placed my left hoof over my lips. “Kissing me? Saying that he loved me? W-was he mad!?”   Maybe he’s the only sane one here.   I felt myself tense as the thought crossed my mind. The rage I had built up faded as sorrow took its place. “But Spike’s always been my assistant, nothing more,” I replied to myself.   Yet it’s because of him that you’ve never even considered finding the pony of your dreams. Deep down, you always knew that Spike was the one. He was caring and loving to the point that no pony could ever match him.   “Yes…” I felt my lips quivering as I placed both of my shaking shaking hooves over my face. Something had happened to us.   Had it been the two of us simply growing older? Had it been the realization that we were far too different to ever be together? Had it been my newfound responsibility of leadership?   But you love him!   “...Love... him?”   You. Love. Him!   I shook my head. “No, I-I… I don’t…” I sat on my haunches, tears clouding my sight. What have I done? I shut my eyes and sobbed.   Spike’s not welcome here anymore. Let him run to Celestia!   What have you done?   Chase after him!   Know your place, princess!   You let him run away...   He’s nothing but a dragon. One day, he’ll be nothing more than another monster!   I slammed my hoof down at the words in my head. “SHUT UP!” I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! SPIKE’S NOT A MONSTER!”   I wiped away the tears and looked at the door. I groaned and pushed away every thought in my head until only a single thing remained: Spike, who he was, and what he meant to me.   I placed a hoof over my chest, remembering all the wonderful times we had shared. We had grown together, learned together, and lived together. Spike was a part of my life that I couldn’t imagine myself without. I loved him just as much as I loved all my other friends and the princess.   No...   I remembered all the times Spike had been there for me when no one else had. Whenever I was troubled, scared, or in danger, he had been there, no questions asked. He’d always gone the extra mile to make sure I was safe and sound, even if it meant that he suffered for it.   And I had repaid all of that kindness by telling him to leave.   No…   It was true. For the last few years, I had started to distance myself from him. It was partially out of concern over his growth, but also partly out of fear of what I was starting to feel for him. Still, even after so many others had come and gone, Spike had stayed. He was the sole bastion of the days of old that I had left. When I had ascended to princesshood, he had stayed by my side, seeing me for who I was, and not for the title I had gained.   No...   I recalled the fond childhood memories. The days when Spike had been my shining knight in scales. How he had stood up for me before I had learned how. How he had sprung to action when I could not back in the Crystal Empire.   No.   My eyes shot wide open as a memory I had all but pushed aside flooded back in. It was a memory of a promise, one in which I had sworn to never send him away, never abandon him. Spike’s greatest fear, one he had likely felt coming true because of my choices. I put a hoof over my mouth as I came to the harrowing realization that my words earlier had broken that promise. How could I have done something so heartless?   It’s because you never loved him in the first place.   I bared my teeth and furrowed my brow. “That’s a lie! I have always loved Spike!”   My eyes lit up, the tears finally coming to a stop. I have always loved Spike… The corners of my mouth rose as the words repeated themselves over and over in my mind. I have always loved Spike!   I swiftly stood, gazing at the door with newfound determination. I had neglected my feelings for far too long. Out there, in the icy grasp of winter’s fury, was the dragon that had claimed my heart long ago.   I levitated the nearest winter coat I had and opened the library’s door, facing the raging blizzard with newfound resolution. One more deep breath and I galloped into the white abyss. It was now my turn to be Spike’s knight.