//------------------------------// // Stuck // Story: Paradise Found- The Eighteenth Earth by Dr. Silas Hunter, Ph.D. // by Captain Hurricane //------------------------------// My limbs felt heavier than ever after Applejack released me from my bonds. Thirst, fatigue, confusion, and depression hit me like a steroid-infused nightclub bouncer. I slid down to the floor, my back supported by the beam that I had been tied to just minutes before. “What’s wrong?” I noted the concern in Twilight’s voice. She sounded curious, yet motherly at once. My body rejected everything. The sights, the sounds, the smells. I doubled over, hands flat on the ground while vertigo and nausea assaulted me mercilessly. That all too familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach rushed up, and whatever was left of my dinner spewed out of my mouth at lightning speed. A small pile of undigested ramen mingled with the dirt and hay occupying the barn floor. “Weak stomach. Check!” I heard the furious scribbles of quills on parchment. I wondered if the unicorn was describing the process of human emesis in lurid detail, making me laugh a little on the inside. I felt somewhat better, but the pain in my wrists, ankles, hands and head still bothered me. Struggling against those ropes caused a lot of chafing; my raw skin was tender to the touch. Applejack left and returned shortly, accompanied by a third pony. The handle of a bucket was securely gripped in this new pony’s mouth. There was some kind of liquid in it, likely water. This new pony sported a bright yellow coat of fur; her mane and tail were a feminine pink. But what really blew my mind was the pair of wings gracing each side of the slender mare. A winged horse. Pegasus. Christ. It was like I was living in a fairy tale. The new horse sat the bucket on the ground next to me, avoiding my messy regurgitation. “Sit up, please, mister human. I know you must be really sick…and frightened.” Well, this must have been the source of the other voice talking to Applejack. This new pony, this pegasus, sounded like the stereotypical nurse. “I heard you were thirsty, so I brought some well water. It’s good for you.” I scooped water from the bucket with my hands, forming an improvised drinking vessel. It didn’t work out, though, and I eventually just picked up the bucket with both hands. I rinsed my mouth out first, spitting out the unpleasant aftertaste of bile. This was pretty damn good water. I was a kind of connoisseur of bottled water, but not even artisanal spring waters were as cool or crisp as this. My thirst quenched, I stood on two feet again. My sense of balance had been restored, and although I still felt unnerved, I was oriented and alert. “Thank you, miss…?” The yellow pegasus shifted somewhat uncomfortably, her eyes gazing downward. “Fluttershy.” “Did you say, ‘Butterfly’?” I figured that’s what she said. She had some kind of butterfly tattoo or brand on her rump. For a moment, I thought it was some kind of a “tramp stamp” like the ones that are so popular among today’s youth. “Flutter…shy”. Her voice barely registered above a whisper. I decided not to pry further. “Oh. Okay, then.” Applejack took the initiative and stepped forward. “Fluttershy here is jus’ a teeny bit timid, but don’t worry, Silos, she’ll get ya fixed right up. Right, sugarcube?” Applejack gently nudged her pink haired friend. Fluttershy nodded in emphatic acknowledgement. She tenderly treated my rope burns, gentle yet firm in applying some kind of ointment and then gauze. I didn’t know what to think about this situation. One minute I was hog-tied, the next they had a nurse pony treating my wounds like I was a child or sibling. This place was getting weirder by the moment. “I appreciate your help, I really do. But I need to see if I can salvage my equipment…return back to where I came from.” Twilight chimed in. “Is this your equipment?” She walked over to my probe, her hoof level with one of the cameras. “It seems okay to me.” “Um, not specifically.” I pulled out my equalizer, the telltale stench of fried capacitors and transistors making it abundantly clear I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. “This is how I got here. It uses a….form of magic to open doorways to other worlds. But something happened to it.” The lithium ion battery had damn near melted. The amplifier circuits were fused; and as I suspected, every capacitor had overloaded and popped. I opened my tool kit, pulling out various bits, pieces, and tools. Although I had a lot of supplies to fix the probe, nothing in here would help me repair the equalizer. Not even my red Swingline stapler. So I was stuck. “I don’t suppose you have a Radio Shack?” Silence. “Capacitors?” Twilight and company shook their heads, the negative response explicit. The unicorn stepped towards me. “I want to know everything about you and your, um, magic, Silas. But the timing of your arrival is…let’s say, interesting. The princesses need to know about this. I’m sorry if I seem rude, but I have to leave. You’re in good hooves with Applejack and Fluttershy. I'll be back later. I promise. I want to help you.” Her horn glowed again, and with a bright flash, she was gone. “Hey, where the hell did she go?” I checked out the spot where she was. I even peered outside of the barn. She just…vanished. “Back home, prob’ly.” Applejack seemed dismissive. “Let me guess: magic?” “Ayup.” I was thoroughly impressed. Teleportation is a different sort of beast altogether from the technology I used. I made a mental note to ask how that worked when we met again. “As long as you’re here, Fluttershy, you might as well join us for dinner.” Applejack gestured her head toward the farmhouse. “Oh, I’d love to! Angel and the others will get super mad if I don’t have their dinner ready soon, though, so I’ll go feed them and join you for supper, if that’s okay.” Fluttershy moved closer to the barn’s exit. “All right. Ah understand. But at the very least, stop by Rarity’s place and tell her to go talk with Twi. O’ course, she’s also invited ta supper. And don’t tell her about our…” She looked back to me, “…guest, yet. Twilight’ll take care o’ that.” “You can count on me.” Fluttershy took off in a westernly direction, humming gaily as she trotted off over the hills. I was alone with cowboy pony. She took off her hat again, wiping invisible sweat away from her brow. “No offense, Silos, but ya could use some cleanin’ up. Yer not exactly fresh as a spring day…ah reckon a shower would do ya some mighty good.” “My name is Silas.” “Uh-huh. Let’s get ya in the shower.” These ponies were just full of surprises at every turn. Magic. Showers. Teleportation. I half expected leprechauns and fairies to start dancing their way out of the trees, but no Celtic inspired creatures were to be found. * Applejack’s farmhouse seemed fairly rustic. It was like I stepped into the painting of that farmer holding a pitchfork. “Big Mac, Apple Bloom, we’ve got a guest.” The pony’s voice reverberated through the house, and heavy steps came back in reply. “Ah sent Apple Bloom out to play, sis. Ya take care of that thing?” The voice I heard was male; his drawl almost comedic. “It’s a he. But yup, it’s all right. Ain’t gonna bite, ah think.” The red horse from before greeted me at the bottom of the staircase. “Big Macintosh. But call me Big Mac.” I laughed a little; that couldn’t be helped. “I’m sorry, Big Mac. It’s just that, where I’m from, there are sandwiches called ‘Big Macs’.” I knew I wouldn’t be encountering any fast food burger joints anytime soon. It was his turn to laugh. “Well, fancy that. That ought to be kinda funny. Maybe you could make me one o’ them; Big Mac eatin’ a Big Mac. Sounds like a hoot!” I liked this guy. Or horse. Or whatever. Applejack cut him off. “Sorry Mac, but Shy Lass here needs a shower. If’n ya don’t mind, would you go ahead and get the table ready fer supper?” “Ahyup.” “Thank ya kindly.” The upstairs bathroom was a nice affair. The smells of soaps, shampoos, and conditioners reminded me of old people, for some reason. “Ah’m gonna go ahead and wash yer clothes for ya. It’s the least I can do after wrasslin’ ya in the dirt and hogtyin’ ya in my barn.” “That’s kind of you Applejack.” Looking down at my clothes, I could see they were pretty nasty…dirt, hay, and something reminiscent of regurgitated ramen were staining my jeans and t-shirt. “I’ll leave them for you outside the door.” I stripped off my shirt and pants, cracking the door slightly to throw my soiled garments into the hallway. I kept my boxers with me for modesty’s sake. Although this bathroom had a mirror, I had to slightly stoop in order to see myself. Blood had caked one side of my face; my light brown hair was in complete disarray. It was clear that a shower was warranted. I have to say that was the best shower I have ever taken in my life. The water was the perfect temperature; the soap fresh smelling with notes of mint and lavender. I felt almost as though I’d never taken a shower in my life before. It was seriously that refreshing. The blood and grime that had marred my face was gone, leaving a clean twenty two year old's face in its stead. I threw my boxers back on after drying myself. I was a little concerned about leaving the bathroom in its original state; the ponies were certainly hospitable, but I didn’t want to impose more than I already had. I cleaned up behind myself, soaking up an errant puddle with my bathtowel. Applejack’s timing was impeccable. She held my neatly folded shirt and pants in her hoof, which was fantastic. Although I wasn’t exactly thrilled about her barging in on me while I was still half naked. Only my boxers kept me from total nudity. “I’m not dressed.” “Ayup. Ah can see that. And yer point?” “I’m sorry. Where I’m from, we are clothed unless we are sleeping or in the shower. People who go around without clothing are seen as, uh…not all there.” “Loco in the coco?” Applejack’s hoof twirled around her head, her eyes spinning in circles. I guess some things are universal. I chuckled. “That’s one way of putting it.” “Supper’s nearly ready. Come on down. Got a few friends ya should meet.” * The rest of the Apple family, three ponies I hadn’t met, and a dragon crowded around the wide dinner table, each of them greeting me in their own fashion. There was Rarity, the marshmallow unicorn fashionista. She seemed fascinated by my clothing, even though it was just a t-shirt and jeans. Rainbow Dash, the boastful pegasus whose mane was, as her name implied, rainbow colored, didn’t really seem all that impressed with me. Pinkie Pie unsettled me a little; I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the way she smelled like cotton candy. Apple Bloom, Applejack's younger sister, was the most eager of the bunch to meet me. Although the youngest at the dinner table, she had more questions about me than Twilight…I think. Granny Smith didn’t exactly have the best of vision. I guess I was a little flattered when she told me I was the most polite minotaur she ever met. Big Mac seemed pretty quiet and introspective throughout dinner, although he would inject a well-timed “Nope” when called for. Fluttershy was even more quiet than Big Mac. She scarcely said anything all night, except asking for a slice of apple pie. Spike interested me the most. Twilight introduced him as a baby dragon, to which he corrected her, “Juvenile dragon.” Everyone at the table got a kick out of that, excepting Twilight, who was not amused. Everything at supper was pretty much made with apples. Applesauce, apple fritters, apple waffles, and apple pie. It was all deliciously amazing. I think even the famously hypercritical chef Gordon Ramsay would be rendered speechless by the quality of the food. After about an hour or so of delicious food and conversation, I had a pretty clear impression of each of the ponies, and dragon, I met. They all seemed oddly relaxed and comfortable in the presence of something from outside their world. When dinner was over, I insisted on helping clear the plates. It only felt right to return the hospitality I was shown in kind by the Apple clan. With Big Mac’s assistance, the dishes were all cleaned and dried within a matter of minutes. “Big Mac, kindly see ta Apple Bloom getting tucked in bed.” Applejack stepped away from her chair, placing it back underneath the table. The other young ponies did likewise. The deep red pony led his little sister upstairs, while the other ponies (and Spike) looked at me, as if they were waiting for my next magic trick. The wizened Granny Smith called out to me, heaping praise upon praise as she laid a firm hoof on my shoulder. “Ye’ve been a great help, Sigh Loss. Reckon you make yer minotaur fam’ly right proud of ye. And ye can tell ‘em Granny Smith dun said so.” “Thank you, Granny. I’ll…let them know.” “Sorry, Granny, but I’ve got ta steal him away from ya. He’s got somethin' ta show us. Outside.” “Well, it was a right pleasure to meet ya, Sigh Loss, even if ya ain’t got no hairs. I’m off ta bed mahself; a spry old pony like me needs all the beauty sleep she can git.” “G’night, Granny.” Applejack waved off her grandmother as she made her way upstairs. Rarity moved to my side, her purple mane bouncing with every step she took forward. “So, darling, show us this hulking metal chariot that brought you here to our…humble little town.” “I’m sorry. I’m not quite sure what you are talking about…” Twilight interrupted me midthought. “It’s the thing in the barn. What did you call it again? An Equinizer?” “Oh, that. I might as well explain it to you…I’m kind of stuck here, now.” I was followed by a herd of ponies (plus Spike) as we made our way out of the house and back to the barn. I guessed that either Big Mac or Applejack had cleaned up the mess I’d made already. The bucket of water had been emptied onto the ground, washing away the sharp smell of bile. “Ooooh, lights!” A blur of pink rushed through the barn doors, stopping only inches from the probe’s surface. “What’s this, what’s this, shiny, shiny!” Pinkie Pie stood transfixed by the probe’s still flashing lights. “Hey, look everypony! There’s cameras!” A hundred different silly faces were captured by the probe, every image converted into bits and bytes and transmitted through the air into nothingness. “Yeah, that’s cool and all, but how did you get here?” The blue pegasus chimed in, boredom underlining her tone. “Pinkie, please don’t touch anything. It…might be dangerous. I don’t know.” The hyperactive pink mare looked just a little sad, trotting back toward the rest of the coterie. I shared what I knew about interdimensional travel…the specifics of how I found their world. Twilight was furiously taking notes, hanging on to every word I said. “Each dimension has its own inherent vibrational pattern. This is called frequency. I use a specialized tool that I call an equalizer to ‘tune in’ to that frequency. Once I generate enough power, I can step through from my world, to any other.” The group of ponies (and dragon!) looked confused. Twilight was the sole exception; her face appeared more inquisitive than stupefied. “Twilight, may I get a few sheets of paper and a quill, please?” She magically ripped out a few sheets, looking both annoyed and appalled that she had to mutilate part of her notebook. I drew circles on each of the pieces of parchment, stacking them together for my demonstration. “Each of these circles represents a different world. Each world is roughly the same size. This top sheet represents your world, Equus. The bottom represents the world I come from. Earth.” “Each sheet of paper is a dimension of the universe. There may be hundreds of these…thousands even. Each one slightly different than the other.” I held the two sheets of paper that represented Equus and Earth apart, my arms spreading wide. “Normally, there is no way to travel from my world to this one. They’re so far apart.” I brought the two sheets of paper together again. “To get here, I basically make a tunnel from my world, to yours, that lasts just long enough for me to see what’s on the other side and take a look around.” I speared the quill through the center of both sheets of paper, driving my point home. I looked through the hole I just poked, my eye settling on Rainbow Dash. “When I create this tunnel, I first send a device through. This device gathers information about the world around it. The air, the wind, the temperature…all these things I test and check. This,” I gestured toward the probe, “is that device.” Applejack chimed in. “So that means…” “When I saw a pony wearing a hat through the camera, I wasn’t sure what to think. That pony galloped over to my probe, looked it over, and then took its hat off with its hoof. In my world, horses just cannot do such things. I tried to bring my probe back through the tunnel, but somehow it got stuck and couldn’t move.” I glanced at Applejack; I knew she knew what happened. “It took a lot of time and money to build that probe. So I went through the tunnel, determined to get my probe unstuck, bring it home, and never look back on this world again. But coming to a new world makes you sick for a short time. It disorients you. I barely had time to close the tunnel before I thought I was under attack by one of the ‘natives’. Something knocked the crowbar out of my hand, hit me on the head, and then I awoke in here, tied up with rope.” “Cool story, bro. So really, what part of Equestria are you from?” Rainbow Dash turned her head to the side quizzically. Five facehooves, a faceclaw, and a facepalm later, Twilight gently chided her prismatic pal. “Weren’t you listening, Dash? He’s from another world. Not Equestria. Not Equus. Earth.” The pegasus blushed furiously, the light pink of her face a sharp contrast to the rest of her blue coat. “Oh yeah, I heard you talking about that. The paper thing. Heh, heh, nevermind me…I’m just gonna sit down and keep my muzzle closed now.” “Shortly after I woke up, I started talking, and then things went silent. After the silence lifted, my equalizer, the device that makes a tunnel from my world to yours, kind of destroyed itself. “So here I am. Stuck for now, at least.”