//------------------------------//
// Yup, Pretty Much Daily 
// Story: Appledashery 
// by Just Essay 
//------------------------------//

	"Hey, uhm, Stuey."

"Steve."

"Er, right, Steve."  Rainbow Dash fidgeted, trotting nervously down a shallow incline of rickety wooden planks as she followed the robed stallion into a grand steaming pit.  The wagon stuffed with the jagged bag of granite chunks rattled behind her.  "About the dragons that were chasing me earlier—"

"I already told you, lady," Steve grunted out his hood as he waved loose a rising column of sulfur.  "Here at the gates of Tartarus, we deal with demons, incubi, succubi, trolls, ogres, orcs, chupacabras, vampires, and the occasional golem or two..."

"But—"

"Dragons are sentient beings without a single drop of demonically tainted blood.  According to Equestrian Law, they are not bound by the rules of Tartarusian Imprisonment.  But, hey!  Give it a decade or two!  Legislation could totally change!"

"That's not the point!  I'm just saying—"

"Like the Small Creatures Act of twenty years ago!"  Steve cackled.  "The Canterlotlian Senate voted that parasprites were innocent victims of circumstances and then the little winged scampes were given full pardon!  Hahahah... hooooooo boy I hope somepony got assassinated for that one."

"What I'm trying to say is that these dragons had a very big interest in burning me to a friggin' crisp!" Rainbow said through a frown.

"What, did you spit in their morning oatmeal or some crap?!"

"No!"  Rainbow exclaimed.  "They wanted to roast me and peel the delivery off my battered, burned corpse!"

"That certainly sounds efficient to me."

"Don't you care at all about what's going on here?!"  Rainbow Dash panted as the temperature along the wooden walkway grew hotter and hotter.  She stared down but could see nothing but glowing red molten earth.  "They kept dropping this name of someone named 'Big Boss.'"

"A name like that, you gotta be compensating for something."

"You ever heard of a 'Big Boss' in your days of working the... er... super graveyard shift?"

"Look, lady, the only boss I answer to is the one that can lower and raise the Sun."  Steve glanced lethargically back at her.  "Not that it matters much to me.  I haven't seen an inch of sunlight since I made a career out of dying here."

"Just... h-how old are you, anyway?"

"Let's just say that when I was drafted to fight the griffons for seven years, there were only four digits in my registry number."

"We... uh... we're no longer at war with the griffons."

"No?"

"Not for..."  Rainbow squinted.  "...three hundred years."

"Really?  Well, jeez, no longer I have so much trouble pissing while standing up."

"Uhhhh..."

"Hey!  Here we go!"  Steve approached a tiny wooden shack on stilts and knocked against a crooked door on rusted hinges.  "Customs.  This is about as far as you need to go."

"You sure?"  Rainbow squinted.  "If it's alright by you, I kind of want to make sure this delivery gets to where it's headed."

"Trust me, Toots."  Steve winked at her.  "You don't wanna go where this thing is headed."

"Uhhh..."

Suddenly, with a creak, the door opened.  A gnarled face looked out, one eye gray and scarred.  "Yeah, what do you want?"

"Baal-rafar!"  The robed stallion smiled.  "We've got a delivery from Canterlot!"

"Dammit, Steve," the pony from the other side grumbled.  "It's Cameron.  Baal-rafar is enjoying his day off."

"For Cocytus' sake!"  Steve hissed.  "You two should wear color-coordinated baseball caps.  I swear..."

"Ungh... why are you bothering me right now, Steve?"

"I done told you, Cammy."  Steve pointed back at Rainbow's wagon.  "We've got a delivery from Canterlot."  He squinted.  "The delivery."

Cameron's one good eye twitched.  He slammed the door shut.  Rummaging sounds could be heard from the other side.  Seconds later, the door to the shack opened the rest of the way.  Cameron shuffled backwards, his legs uneven and emaciated.  "Bring it in.  And be snappy about it."

"Good thing we have a pony who's good at snapping in two!"  Steve gestured at Rainbow Dash.  "After you."

"Wow..."  The pegasus grunted, picking up the heavy satchel and heaving it through the thin door.  "What a friggin' gentleman."

"In a place like this, you find the 'gentle' parts melt right off after long."

"Yeah, no kidding."  Rainbow Dash trotted into a cramped interior with a large verticale chute located in the center.  "Uhm..."

"Mmmgnhhh..."  Cameron hobbled by and gripped a lever with his hoof.  "Down the hatch."

"Oh." Rainbow blinked.  Exhaling heavily, she slapped the large satchel onto the center of a metal trap door.  "Like so?"

"Yuppers."  Grinting, Cameron jerked at his lever.

The top of the chute opened with flapping doors.  Less than a second later—PHWOOMB!—a plume of flames erupted from the throat of the thing.  Rainbow Dash flinched helplessly.  She shivered until Steve patted her reassuringly on the back.

"See?"  He chuckled.  "All gone."

"Yeah."  Rainbow nodded.  Rainbow exhaled and stood up, at ease.  "Y-yeah.  You're right.  All gone."

"Carry your sap circus elsewhere," Cameron grunted, hobbling back to a lone stool flanking a wide window that looked over a flaming abyss stretched far below the shack.  "I've got work to do."

"Yes, and it looks soooooo time-consuming," Steve grunted.

"Meh.  You're just mad that you got moved to surface duty."

"Beats the smell of dire rats crapping in my morning porridge."

"One of the small joys of this place."

"Whatever you say, Baal."

"Cameron."

"Uh huh."  Steve closed the shack door behind himself and Rainbow Dash.  "There..."  He pointed up the slanted wooden incline.  "Just trot up the way you came.  Go home.  Take a long shower.  You won't have to smell this place ever again... unlessssssss of course you inexplicably become infused with pure chaos energy and suffer the fate of a demonically transformed equine with no recourse but to spread malice and death wherever you go, and then maybe we'll be sending armored troops out to wrangle you here for eternity."

"Riiiiight..."  Rainbow Dash sighed.  "Yeesh, you guys need to get out more."

"And you need to relax back in the land where you get to pick daisies and nuzzle kittens."

"Meh."  Rainbow frowned and prepared to trot away.

"Hey..."  Steve tugged on her tail, forcing the pegasus to glance back.  "I know you're all steamed and scared piss-less about the dragons and the brimstone and all the junk in between.  But take some advice from a guy who's seen it all, and most of it ending up here all rotten and moldy."  He cleared his throat and then took a bold step forward, glaring into her eyes.  "Give it up."

She blinked.  "Give what up?"

"You know what."  His blistered brow furrowed.  "I dunno what they're paying you or what you think is worth getting your hide roasted to protect, but whatever it is... it ain't worth it."  He pointed all around the wooden support beams and vents of sulfur.  "None of this... is worth it.  Stay in Equestria where it's happy, green, and mushy.  You'll be happier that way."

"And who said I was doing any of this exclusively for myself?" Rainbow droned.

"Oh, blast me to Leviathan's prostate..."  Steve chuckled, shook his head, and limped down the plank away from her.  "You're in a worst place than I'll ever be!  Lemme tell you!  Hah!"

Rainbow Dash stared after him, her muzzle agape.  She eventually shrugged it off, sighed, and trudged slowly back up the plank, carrying her heavy saddlebag along with her.