//------------------------------// // Give It To Me Baby // Story: No Bucks // by 71NYL-5CR4TCH //------------------------------// As the pair darted through the town, Rainbow Dash suddenly realized she was losing ground. How was Twilight going this fast?! At their last flying session she was just beginning to maneuver, let alone rapidly zig-zagging in erratic patterns through the city streets. Rick James was leading his girl through the streets of the city, eager to sweeten her up with some confectionaries. Eventually, Rainbow Dash fell too far behind, losing her friend within the city streets. Rainbow Dash was very concerned, who knew what kind of trouble Twilight could get into while under Discord's spell! After all, now that she was a princess, she had a reputation to maintain! Rick James acknowledged that Rainy Dee was no longer there, and he shrugged, continuing about his walk of the city. As he meandered the streets he noticed another building, also alive with music and commotion. He noticed that this wasn't another jazz bar, this was a rocking night club, and he knew he could really get the party going. Twilight stood outside the Ponyville police station, head bobbing, before heading to the front door. Rick James nodded at the bouncer, quickly being allowed inside. He was Rick James, after all. Inside the lights were bright and plentiful, and strange electronic music was playing. Rick James had a responsibility to show these poor folks some real good music, and show them he would. Twilight nodded at a police stallion standing outside the station before spinning around and bucking the doors wide open, taking a bite out of the guard stallion's doughnut, and walking inside, leaving the guard stallion confused and doughnut-less. He decided this was not part of his job (it was exactly his job) and he decided to go get another doughnut from Pony Joe. The inside of the station was full of ringing telephones and a lone frantic mare, receiving a myriad of concerned calls, all about an 'out of control princess'. The mare dropped her phone and stared at Twilight, silent and alone, as all other officers were out looking for the very mare in front of her. "Uh, Princess? Thank you for coming in, we've received some concerned calls about you, are you feeling alright? Also, what's all over your face?" Rick James parted the crowd of party-going ponies like Moses parted the sea. The entire club fell silent as he approached the stage, and the current disk jockey paused his track to look at Rick James. "Well if it isn't my old nemesis, Rick James...We meet again." "Skrillex..." Rick James replied, his voice dripping with malice towards his ancient foe. Twilight staggered a bit before narrowing her eyes at the dispatcher. "Skrillex..." she mumbled. "You honestly believe you can come into my club?! INTO MY TURF?! Our fight ends here Rick, and you will fall by my MacBook." Skrillex stated confidently from the stage. "What? What's a 'Skrillex'?" The dispatcher replied. "We'll see about that, Skrillex! I know you have imprisoned the minds of these innocent folks, but the raw power of my funk will set them free." Rick James answered, ready to battle. "YOUR MUSIC HAS NO SOUL, SKRILLEX! And that will be its downfall." Twilight mumbled before screaming "TH' POWER OF FUNK COMPLELS YOU!" And diving at the unfortunate mare. Their battle was one of awe as the hypnotized patrons below stared on in shock. The two musical legends dueled fiercely, deep and powerful wubs clashing agains the high, intense love and great passion or Rick James' voice. Twilight swung at the dispatcher while shrieking, "GIVE IT TO ME BAYBAH!", missed, and fell forward. Her ass quickly rolled over her head and landed on the dispatchers face with a dull 'thunk', knocking her unconscious. Eventually, the deep felt soul of Rick James overpowered the many noises and bleeps of Skrillex. Rick James charged his final attack with a flying summersault and released a torrent of soul. In an explosion of raw musical energy, Skrillex fell. The spell was broken, and the many club-goers cheered for their savior, finally being free of the enrapturing noises. Rick James bowed humbly, and grabbed the microphone to address his new fans. Twilight wobbled over the unconscious mare and grabbed the microphone of the dispatcher's radio. "You are all free now! But do not thank me alone! For ultimately, it was the power of funk which has freed you. However, if any fly honeys wanna join me in the VIP lounge, I won't be puttin' up much of a fuss." He announced with a smile, ending with a cheeky wink. Twilight screamed into the police radio, "I WIN! I, RICK JAMES, AM TH' GOD OF FUNKY!" Rick James cooly walked to the VIP room to find a large pile of cocaine, a generous present from the many club-goers. Now Rick James always did love a bit of powder to keep the party happening, so who was he to refuse? Twilight walked into the evidence locker and did, in fact, find a labeled bag of cocaine sitting on a shelf. Rick James dove face first into the cocaine, inhaling deeply through his nose. After a second he rose up, eyes the size of saucers and screamed "GOD I LOVE COCAINE!" Twilight really did do that bit. (DO NOT SNORT COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF COCAINE. REALLY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING COCAINE AT ALL BUT I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER SO IF YOU REALLY WANT TO IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN STOP YOU BUT REALLY, LIKE, BE SENSIBLE ABOUT IT AND JUST DO HUMAN SERVINGS, HOWEVER MUCH THAT IS. YOU CAN DEFINITELY O.D. ON COKE SO LIKE DON'T DO THAT SHIT M'KAY? YOU ARE NOT CHARLIE SHEEN. UNLESS CHARLIE SHEEN IS READING THIS WHICH IS REALLY WICKED AND WE SHOULD RAGE SOMETIME. BUT EVERYONE ELSE, JUST...JUST DON'T DO IT.)