I turned around and saw a unicorn guard with a bow and arrow and he looks frightened.
Probably because behind us is the corpse of a beast.
“Hi?” I asked and waved with my hand and he shot me.
The pain was unbearable I go done faster than Glass Joe and hold my fucking knee.
“AAHAHHRRRR” I was once an adventurer just like you, and then … .
“Oh god I took an arrow in the knee!” Skyrim I don’t like you at the moment.
“You will come with me!” came the order from the guard.
“How You shit head? You shot me in the knee! I can’t walk!” I still screamed in pain.
Okay lady man up this pain is still nothing like we endure normally so pull out the arrow and it will be better.
“You got three other good legs!”
Damn these ponies are ignorant! He saw that I was standing on two legs!I pushed the arrow out of my knee because it was easier, oh hell that hurt like I don’t know.
The wound start closing so does my costume and the pain was gone.
Like in our Video Game, our suit also recieved regenerating ability.
You’re such a softie! You need to learn how to take pain like a man. I mean really that was nothing compared to experiencing the Hulk’s brutality.
“Firstly, I walk on two leg but I’m fine now! Well take me to your leader.” I demanded with a smirk behind the mask.
The guard looked wary at me and pushed me with his horn in the direction of the castle.
The travel to the castle was silent, except that the voices talk stupid things like; ‘why does this dwarf hoarse have a dildo strapped on his head?’ ‘How would the female version look?’ and ‘why I don’t talk back?’
We were at the courtyard and more guards gathered around me—
You mean us
—and all of them pointing spears at me.
The guard who brought me here whispered to another and the one he whispered to galloped away.
“The princess will be here in a moment and you will answer some question.”
Well I also have so many question; Like why the hell I am in Ponyland? Why am I Deadpool? and why the fuck I didn’t met Pinkie Pie?!
Omg you’re a Brony! Faggot.
And you are an imaginary voice from a fictional character, your argument is what?
Well
Well, what?
You
What?
Ok you win!
What?
Enough you two, here comes a big white horse.
POV Princes Celestia
My guard informed my sister and me that they found a creature that had slain a manticore.
We made our way to the courtyard to speak with the creature to determine if it is good or evil.
The creature was something I never saw before. It was bipedal and tal like a minotaur or myself, his clothes of black and red were so outlandish. Oh and he has two swords on his back.
I heard Philomena chirping above us let her have some fun.
“What are you and what is your name?”
“I’m a human … well more like a mutant. Who I am isn’t important. Who I represent is important. Wade Wilson, you can call me Deadpool.”
Hmm what a … unique being.
“How did you slay the manticore? You don’t look so powerful.” My sister asked hastily and her mouth tight in a frown of concern.
“With dangerous weapon that no one of you should play with!” he said and cross his arms over his chest.
“What kind of weapons? The swords on your back?” curiosly asks Luna, I could swear I saw a grin under the mask.
“Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This ... is my Boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?” he pulled from his back what looks like two metal pipes and a chunk of wood.
He pointed it to the sky and a loud explosion came from it everypony gone in cover.
What I heard was the painful cry of my pet and I saw how she fall from the sky like a stone.
As Philomena hit the ground everything was dead silent I look at Deadpool.
“Uhh, bye?” and with that he teleported away as I tried to find a magic signature, but there wasn’t any.I hope this will end well, oh poor Philomena! To go so early through her burning day.
POV Deadpool Manehatten present
Damn these ponies are tougher than they were in the past.
It is really sad we couldn’t show how kick ass we were.
Well it was more like a massacre and we want to be teen rating.
I gave them a chance, it isn’t like I did it just out of fun! They just wouldn’t listen! I made my way back to the Kingpin without getting caught and in his office was sitting behind his desk with a satisfied grin.
I don’t want to know if there is a pony under the table!
Uhgh.
“So I think your goon told you that a finished the job, so give me my payment and we can go our ways.” I said that a serious as I can with my arms crossed over my torso.
“A deal is a deal here is your payment and I hope I can get your service in the future.” he pointed at his right were the gold ingot laying.
I took them and put them in my bpd so I could get the hell out of here as I don’t trust this guy.
I teleported back to the Everfree Forest to make my way back to my hideout.
Through the forest I heard three little voices cry for help and oh boy are they familiar.
Oh now you want to play hero only to feel better.
And they sound young what could they give us?
Diabeetus!
I sprinted in the direction where the cries came from and soon found the CMC surrounded by a pack Timberwolves.
Okay, that means no blood this time. Let’s show them how we fight.
Yes young padawan, show what the fruit of our teachings.
We need an entrance/theme song which is kids friendly I’m bad but this are little children so could we come to a compromise.
Okay let’s look nope, eh not really, what the hell you’re sick bastard, how about Korn feat Limp Bizkit All in the Family?
Where the hell is that is that kids friendly! My suggestion would be Hyrule overworld theme metal version.
How about this?
It fits us perfectly.
Yes, I do agree!
I put some gigantic loudspeaker on the ground and started playing this song! The wolves and the fillies looked confused as to where the music was coming from.
I jumped into the group of Timberwolves with drawn swords and I spun both swords in my hand in an impressive display of swordsmanship.
Two wolves went down, but there were still ten more to go. Yay.
The rest of the pack surrounded me with wary eyes and searching for a perfect time to strike.
The girl's started to giggle at the chakaron part, the next one jumped at me and I sliced him into two halves.The rest of them start to dissolve and gather into one giant fucking wolf.
Time to bring out the big guns. You choose the weapon this time.
I choose flamethrower! Burn baby, burn!
“HuudaaahudadaHU!” and started to burn the wooden wolf, shouting, “from ashes to ashes, and from dust unto dust.The wolf yelped like a bitch and I know how I want to finish him! I put the flamethrower back and jumped high as I could.“Pineapple Surprise!” and throw 3 grenades into his throat, before spinning around to face the fillies in a hero pose.
BOOOM!
Flawless victory Deadpool wins fatality.
From the wolf there are only some toothpick left, the CMC looked at me not knowing what they should do.
“So my little pony—”
Oh no he didn’t!
“—what are you doing in this dangerous forest without an adult?”
The three little fillies huddled together and discussed an answer and after some time they looked at me.
Oh how cute! That should be weaponized.
Applebloom cleared her throat to answer my question.
“Sorry mister but aren’t you the bad guy? My sister warned me about you.” Sweetie Belle and Scooterloo nod in agreement.
“Oh am I? Would a bad guy save some fillies? I think that you need to learn something about good, neutral and evil.”
Oh boring lecture time, wake me up when it is over.
I pulled a blackboard from my back and some chalk.
“Ok there are good, neutral and evil. But there is also in each a difference there is lawful, neutral again and chaotic. So let me list of the 9 different forms of good neutral and evil.
*take a deep breath*
“We have lawful good, a lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good can be a dangerous when it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.”
*breath in again*
“Next one is neutral good a neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them.”
“A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society.Chaotic good can be a dangerous when it disrupts the order of society and punishes those who do well for themselves.”
“A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs her. Order and organization are paramount to her. She may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or she may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government.
Lawful neutral can be a dangerous when it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.”
“A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. She doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil-after all, she would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, she's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way.”
“A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty, but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it.
Chaotic neutral can be a dangerous when it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in society.”
“A lawful evil villain methodically takes what he wants within the limits of his code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts. He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom, dignity, or life. He plays by the rules, but without mercy or compassion. He is comfortable in a hierarchy and would like to rule, but is willing to serve. He condemns others not according to their actions, but according to race, religion, homeland, or social rank. He is loath to break laws or promises.”
*Damn how does Pinkie do it without taking a breath in?
“A neutral evil villain does whatever she can get away with. She is out for herself, pure and simple. She sheds no tears for those she kills, whether for profit, sport, or convenience. She has no love of order and holds no illusion that following laws, traditions, or codes would make her any better or more noble. On the other hand, she doesn't have the restless nature or love of conflict that a chaotic evil villain has.”
“A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him.” I said as fast as possible for me.
Drawing of a chart with nine fields in which is a different smiley.
Scooterloo was near to dozing off, Applebloom just looked confused, and Sweetie Bell had a neutral look on her face?
“Well I’m chaotic neutral, I do whatever I want to do and some … ponies doesn’t like it and it makes me look bad.”
“I think I understand.” Sweetie answered first and the other two looked unsure at each other.
“Okay I’ll drop you three back home because these woods are dangerous.” I grabbed them and teleported to the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres.
“Hey Mister Nightmare Night is coming soon. Will you come too?” Scooterloo spoke the first time.
And all of them gave me puppy dog eyes.
No, it is even worse because a filly pony eyes are soooo cute! I think our heart won’t be able to handle the sheer amount of adorable cuteness.
Hey Luna will be there should we really go.
We should so we can try out some of our new jokes for Star fart.
Ok first serious smack talk and then jokes on mass.
Ok!
Ok!
“I’ll come, you cute little ponies, but there is the problem if the Element Bearers attack me. So could you hide them, only during Nightmare Night?”
“Ah think we can do that, but if you try something evil we tell our sisters where they are!” Applebloom answered for them.
“Good see you then bye!” and in a flash I was gone.