by ArguingPizza
***
Dear Twilight
I’d like to start this letter off by saying I’m sorry. I made a mistake when I said we should start seeing other ponies, I realize that now. I want you to know I’m truly sorry, and I’m ready for us to get back together. I had a lot of personal problems to sort out, and I’ve finally gotten past them. Send a letter back as quick as you can for when and where you’d like to meet for lunch. If you’re lucky, I might even let you get some desserts early, if you know what I mean ;)
~Lily
FROM THE DESK OF HER ROYAL HIGHNESS
PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE
PRINCESS OF HARMONY
THIRD CROWD OF EQUESTRIA
HONORED DUCHESS OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIREDear Lily Valley,
While generous, I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline your offer to resume our previous relationship status. In the two months since our parting, I have since acquired other romantic prospects. While I shall not name names, I will inform you that I am in fact very happy with my new arrangement.
Regarding the ‘personal issues’ you named in your correspondence, I am glad that you were able to resolve the conflicts that led to our disassociation. It was quite a shock to arrive at your domicile expecting to engage in our ongoing courtship, only to find your hind legs wrapped around Starlight’s head. It would be a terrible shame for your next partner to suffer the unfortunate betrayal as I, so it is good news indeed that you have managed to overcome your previous error in judgment(despite such errors often being part of a reoccurring pattern, generally indicative of lifelong promiscuous behavior). I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Wide Valley
She’s mine now, bitch.
-C