Lost and Fallen
Chapter 13: Sacrifice
Walking through the barren fields outside of Fillydelphia did nothing to clear my mind. The golden grass acting only as a reminder of what humans had done to these innocent ponies. Finding Fluttershy was a huge indication of what my species had done to the country. Stealing, killing, raping; it all came crashing down in my mind, causing me to feel distant, mentally and physically.
I trailed far behind the three ponies, knowing that Fluttershy would want me to stay away from her. I knew I would if I was in her position. She even turned her head towards me with a slightly fearful face, though Applejack and Carrot Top did the same, so I may have been over thinking it.
Nonetheless, I hardly took note of their exact actions, staring blankly ahead as I followed along like a stray dog. I thought back to the events after beating the crap out of Robert, Fluttershy’s ex-master. Our hasty getaway, after a quick recuperation, was met with no resistance, thankfully, but none of us got a chance to check if Robert was even alive after I went berserk.
Most likely he was dead, but I had no evidence to point to that conclusion. After all, if Grayson from Ponyville could survive a shotgun blast, who knew how resilient these humans were. Anyway, after leaving Robert’s household, we made a break for the edge of the city, as the borders weren't far. In little time, we were able to depart from Fillydelphia - hopefully for good - and head for the rendezvous point at the lake.
It was still nighttime as well, and I was exhausted from everything that had happened. I was drained of energy, and hoped to find sleep soon.
“Nolan,” someone called ahead, snapping my attention back to reality. Blinking dully, I focused on the one who said my name, seeing Applejack face me with sadness. Swallowing under my gaze, she continued, “We’re here.”
Applejack gestured with a hoof towards the body of water that I hadn't noticed until she pointed it out. The water was calm, and the moonlight shone brightly on its surface. We had arrived at the small lake early, but it was better that than late. I tried to figure out when Rainbow would get to the lake, but I was so out of it, I couldn't form any sort of calculations.
“Thanks,” I muttered to Applejack with a sigh, lowering myself to the ground. She stared at me for a moment, looking me up and down before slowly backing away. She trotted away from me towards Fluttershy and Carrot Top, leaving me to my thoughts.
Her actions made me think that she was either worried about me or fearful about what I could do. I had beaten up a man so quickly that I could imagine that the ponies would realize how powerful we humans can get when we were angry. It was all a blur for me at the time, however, as I was so blinded by rage. That thought lead to another; what would have happened if we didn't get to Fluttershy when we did? I glanced over to Fluttershy, who I caught looking over to me with curiosity. But when I faced her, she flinched and turned away, causing me to sigh.
She was still afraid of humans.
I remembered back to what Rainbow had said to me right before she left: I’d feel terrible if something happened to her. Bowing my head, I gritted my teeth in frustration over myself. I felt so responsible for what happened to Fluttershy, even though I had nothing to do with what happened to her. Not only that, but I had failed Rainbow in a sense as well.
I saw a bit of pink in the corner of my vision, and I turned to find Fluttershy approaching. My gaze caused her to falter, her movement diminishing as she came closer to me. I tilted my head in confusion, wondering why she would want to come close to another human after what she went through.
Eventually, Fluttershy stood before me, hiding her face behind her mane. She was quivering slightly, and it just made me feel worse. I waited patiently for her to speak, knowing how nervous she must be around me.
“U-Um, mister A-Anderson,” she said, still not looking at me. She must have learned my name from the others, since I hadn't said a word to her since retrieving her from Fillydelphia.
“You can just call me Nolan,” I muttered, keeping my voice low to seem less intimidating. Unfortunately, that had the drawback of my tone being low as well. The result was having Fluttershy shiver even harder, and I berated myself. I had to be gentler than that, dammit!
“N-Nolan,” she said, swallowing again as she peeked past her mane. Her turquoise eyes were quivering as much as her body was, but they held a feeling of determination to them as well. “I’m sorry.”
That caught me way off guard, causing me to jerk my head back. She was apologizing to me? If anything, I should be the one doing that! She wasn't finished though as she continued, “I guess you don’t like being around ponies, so I just, um, wanted to say that. I won’t bother you again.”
She turned to leave, making me gape at her in disbelief. That wasn't how it was supposed to be! I reached a hand out, gripping her right shoulder to stop. In that way, I involuntarily scared her, causing her to squeak cutely as she froze in movement.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my incredulity evident in my voice. “I should be the one who’s sorry.”
She pivoted her head toward me, still in fear as she lowered her head a bit, “B-But why are you avoiding us then?”
I remained quiet for a moment, sighing as I released her and sitting back on the dry grass. “I… just figured you’d want to stay away from humans,” I admitted with a small shake of my head. “You went through a lot. Anybody would hate to be around humans after that.”
Fluttershy eyes never left my own as her face took a look of understanding. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke, her voice a mere whisper. “Y-You care about me that much?”
It seemed like a pretty silly question, but I nodded as my answer. A smile rose from her lips, making her face look much brighter than I had seen it in the past few hours. “That’s very sweet of you,” she said, causing a weak smile of my own to emerge, “but I don’t hate you for what someone else did.”
“Heh,” I grunted, eyeing Applejack, who was digging through her saddlebags, “I wish other ponies had that view.”
I didn't hear anything from Fluttershy, and I assumed she was thinking over my words. “What do you mean?” she asked and I turned to her, a frown plastered on my face as I saw her concern.
“The ponies…” I started slowly, thinking over my response as I spoke, “weren't exactly accepting of me.”
I let those words sit, allowing the gears to turn in Fluttershy’s head until it clicked, causing her to gasp in shock. “The ponies were mean to you,” she realized, but I took it as a question.
“That’s one way to put it,” I replied, finding myself playing with my hands.
“But why?” she asked, stepping closer to myself, “You’re so nice, and considerate, and helpful, and… and…”
“I’m a human,” I said with a shrug, my head facing the infinite sky above, “That’s why.”
A perpetual silence filled the area, even Applejack and Carrot Top had stopped as if they had overheard our conversation. The wind became noticeable, chilling us as it brushed past. Fluttershy tried to speak, but her voice never got out, as if she couldn't think of the something to say, but was trying anyway.
Finally, she settled with a whisper, a tinge of sorrow laced in her words. “That… That isn't fair,” she said, her eyes watering ever so slightly as she frowned deeply. I was surprised how sensitive she was with such topics. I didn't think it was that sad.
I sighed with a shake of my head, “Yeah, I know.”
More silence. It wasn't awkward, but I was growing annoyed about talking about something that I had discussed a few times already. With that thought, I realized how hungry I was, and I looked over to Applejack and Carrot Top, both of them gazing at me with their own looks of sadness. Great, I was stuck in a pity party.
“Applejack,” I called, causing her to perk her head a bit as she looked at me, “Throw me an apple.”
She didn't respond and simply retrieved an apple from her saddle bags. Holding the apple with her teeth, she threw her head back and tossed it to me. I caught the apple easily with my hand and fluidly brought up to my own mouth. The juicy fruit made me temporarily forget my troubles for a moment before I had to swallow.
It reminded me that I still knew very little of Applejack’s past. And I found myself staring at the apple, wondering if I should ask her about it again. The photo that I had retrieved from the farm outside of Fillydelphia showed that she had a large family, but she barely spoke about a single one of them. Hell, I didn't even know Applebloom was her sister until they had reunited.
My eyes flickered over to Applejack, seeing her and Carrot Top walk over to Fluttershy and I. When they were close enough they got themselves settled as we formed a sort of ring facing each other. Digging into her saddle bags once again, Applejack pulled out another apple and placed it in front of Fluttershy, looking at her sympathetically.
“Eat up, Sugarcube,” Applejack stated, giving a nudge to the fruit for emphasis, “I can’t imagine how hungry ya must be.”
Fluttershy nodded in thanks, and tentatively picked up the apple with both of her hooves. Quicker than I anticipated, she dug into the apple with vigor. I shouldn't have been too surprised; who knows how much Robert fed her. While Fluttershy ate, I decided to question Applejack, as she and Carrot Top were simply watching.
“I think now’s a good time,” I started with as much softness as I thought necessary, catching everyone’s attention. But my eyes were solely focused on Applejack. “for you to tell me about your family.”
Applejack faced away, caught off guard by my sudden declaration. I hastily added, “If you want to. I’m not forcing you.”
“Ya waited long enough, I suppose,” she agreed, still not looking at me as she played with her hooves. “It’s just… kinda hard to talk about them.”
I felt a bit guilty about wanting to get some sort of idea out of her past, but I remembered something that might make her feel a little better. However, the thought made me shiver, wanting to avoid the topic over all.
“Do you remember our promise?” I asked, making her head whip over to me in confusion. I wasn't surprised that she had forgotten about it; a lot had happened that almost made me forget. “We promised that we would trade stories between ourselves: you with your family and me… with my girlfriend.”
Applejack made to speak, leaning forward with her mouth open, but nothing came out. She was just as curious about my past as I was of hers. I was glad that Fluttershy and Carrot Top were respectful enough to remain quiet. If there had to be two other ponies to hear my story, I was glad it was them. Carrot Top was my friend, and Fluttershy was the type of pony to respect someone’s hidden past.
A moment passed before Applejack nodded, agreeing to our exchange. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before speaking. “I suppose the best place to start is at the beginnin’,” she said, “Before the humans came, I lived and worked at Sweet Apple Acres with Granny Smith, Big Macintosh - my big brother - and Applebloom.”
I hardly gave a second thought when I heard their names; I was way past the fact that ponies here had strange names. “We’d always work as a family to harvest the apples,” Applejack continued, “And I always tried my hardest, especially after…”
She trailed off, the memory hard to deal with. I figured I would bring up a different topic, help her through. “What about your parents?” I asked bluntly.
Fluttershy visibly flinched, her expression turning sadder than before. Applejack was the same, except she had a hint of depression as well. That made me realize why she didn't bring them up in the first place, and I slouched my body from my incompetence.
“They passed away,” she said quietly, and I didn't bother asking how they had died. It wasn't because I didn't care, but because I knew she didn't feel like talking about them. I may have been learning about her family, but that didn't mean I should intrude on subjects that were very sensitive to her.
Taking another deep breath, Applejack kept going, not truly deterred by the mentioning of her parents. “Anyway, after they were gone, I didn't know what to think, so I left the farm. I needed time to think things over, and I thought Manehatten was a good place to go.”
Despite the tone she gave, Applejack chuckled, a small weary smile on her lips. “Found out it wasn't the place for me when I saw a rainbow explosion in the sky.”
I grunted in amusement, my own smile emerging. I could see why it would be funny, though I do wonder how a rainbow explosion would occur in the first place. It probably had something to do with Rainbow Dash or something. I wouldn't put it past her.
“I helped out on the farm, made lotsa friends, and lived a nice life with my family,” Applejack summed up, her smile showing pride, and I didn't doubt it for a moment. However, the smile she had suddenly fell, and I mirrored it. A look of hurt on her features as she eyed the ground again.
“It kinda went downhill after Twilight became a princess though,” she said, her voice above a whisper. “It was a few months after her coronation. Granny Smith wasn't feeling so well. We got a doctor an’ everythin’, but he said she was just gettin’ old. He didn't know when she’d pass, but he knew it’d be soon.”
Applejack’s eyes began to water, but she hardly took notice of it. Whether it was because she didn't care, or because she was acting like it wasn't there, I didn't know.
“We looked after her for weeks,” Applejack continued, “My friends came by to check with us everyday, and we always had hope she would get better. ‘The Apple stubbornness’ and all that.”
It didn't take a psychic to guess what happened next.
“Then,” Applejack said, choking up for a brief moment, “one day, when we all woke up to start another day… she didn't.”
The tears started running down Applejack’s face, but she hastily wiped them away, her teeth grinding together. A small sob escaped from Fluttershy, and I closed my eyes in respect. It reminded me too much of my mother, and how she had died. A long silence followed, and it gave us time to regain our composure. Taking a shaky sigh, Applejack forged on, her bravado having already diminished considerably.
“And the day after we buried her in the orchard,” she said with a shake of her head, “The humans attacked the Crystal Empire. And I think you know what happened there.”
There was no malice in Applejack’s voice, and I assumed she was just reminding me of what had happened there. I caught sight of Fluttershy shuddering from the mention of that place. It must have been terrible to walk through a land full of dead bodies. I couldn’t help but feel bad that I had gotten so used to killing and death that I hardly gave it a second thought. I brought my hands together, intertwining them as I held it up to my mouth. All the while Applejack was still speaking.
“Sweet Apple Acres fell on hard times,” she said, “There was so much demand for food, and it was just me and my brother that worked. The war forced us to our limits, and it was still not enough. Big Mac joined the Royal Guard once he heard that Hoofington had been taken over. We had family there, and he didn’t take it so well. I had to hire some more hooves to help out at the farm, and even then we were still behind in the demand. Big Mac sent letters everyday, sayin’ he was stationed in Manehatten. And… and…”
This time, when Applejack cried, she didn’t bother stopping the tears, allowing them to run down her cheeks and drop onto the ground. “The humans came to Manehatten, a-and I… never heard from him again. Not until Celestia herself came to the farm to tell me what happened.”
Damn, that must have been hard. I couldn’t even imagine how poor little Applebloom had taken the news.
“And finally,” Applejack said, pulling her head up to face the sky directly above her, “the humans took over Canterlot like it was nothin’, and came straight to Ponyville.”
At that point, Carrot Top and Fluttershy were sobbing quietly, their ears folded down as they tried to listen over their sadness. The worst part, however, was that I wasn’t crying myself. What did it take for me to bring my feelings out!? Was I a terrible person for not crying? I sure felt like one.
“Me and Applebloom didn’t get word until it was too late,” she said, still staring upwards, causing her hat to slip off her head and tumble to the ground. “The humans were at our doorstep, and me and Applebloom were cornered. I couldn’t fight ‘em off, there was just too many. They were going to take Applebloom, my only family I had left. So I… I had made a d-deal.”
That instantly caught my attention, causing my eyes to widen as my jaw opened up ever so slightly. “I told the human in charge, Jordan, that-”
Applejack cut herself off, her hind legs quivering as her forehooves slowly dragging through the grass as they drew closer to her stomach, as if to cover up something. “I said I’d do anythin’ if they just left Applebloom with me. And that no good Jordan, h-he said I had to…”
My brain clicked, and I threw a hand over my forehead, my anger growing once again at what Applejack was about to say. I should have known, it made perfect sense with the hints I was given. Why hadn’t I seen it sooner?
“I had to have sex with him,” she finished, covering her face with a hoof. “A-And when I-I did, he… he took her anyway.”
She fell to the ground, wailing as she cried her eyes out. “I w-was… so alone!”
Applejack had lost her whole family, including her farm and her friends. When compared to me, my concerns and past felt like it wasn’t worth anybody’s time. A hand was still over my head as I slowly drew it down over my face. There were no tears. I still hadn’t shed a single fucking tear!
The sound of three ponies crying were torture to my ears. They could cry about something that deserved to be sad about, and I couldn’t get up to it!? I hated those humans so much. But it wasn’t the time to be angry, Applejack was a crying wreck, and she needed comfort.
Slowly, I leaned forward where I sat, reaching my left arm past Applejack. Gently, I lifted her hat, and brought it up to Applejack, placing it back on her head. Applejack stopped crying for a moment, going silent as I rested my hand on top of her hat. She picked herself up with ragged breaths, sniveling as she sat back up with my hand still on her head. Her face was tilted down, allowing her eyes to hide behind her hat as tears continued to fall from her muzzle.
It was reasons like Applejack’s that ponies hated humans with a passion. She became hateful because she was separated forcefully from someone she loved, and even sacrificed herself to save her, to no avail.
She told me what tragedy had plagued her mind, day and night. So it was my turn.
“I’m sorry that happened, AJ,” I said sympathetically, “No one deserves to go through what you did, and I can’t imagine how you must feel.”
“W-What about y-you?” she suddenly asked, lifting her head up to reveal her bloodshot emerald eyes, a look of concern and anguish. “What about E-Emma?”
I stared into her eyes, hardening my features futilely as I sighed. I crossed my legs, sitting as comfortably as possible as I got ready for my story. I opened a pouch on my vest, and extracted my cigarette case. Opening it, I noticed I had four left, and I made it three when I pulled one out. Slipping the case back into the pouch, I retrieved my lighter, lit it, and held it underneath. As my cigarette caught heat, I noticed that Fluttershy was curious as to the nature of the white and orange stick in my mouth, despite how sorrowful she was. I didn’t bother with an explanation, inhaling the smoke once it was lit and pocketing my lighter.
All eyes were on me, and I didn’t bother delaying for another moment.
“Emma Margaret,” I started, holding my cigarette in one hand as the other scratched my cheek. “My girlfriend for two years until thirteen months ago.”
I realized something that may help explain about her, and I unholstered my revolver, holding it to display it to the ponies. “This is my gun, Vera,” I explained, “It’s named after Emma’s middle name. Emma Vera Margaret. She gave it to me as a present on our one year anniversary. She always thought it was corny that I named it after her, but it felt right, and it still is.”
With that said, I holstered it again, and got another drag from my cigarette, preparing myself with my story. As I told them my story, I could see the events playing before my eyes, like I was reliving them all over again.
{~+~}
“Then when I finally cornered the guy,” Emma laughed, holding it back as much as she could, “he was so scared that he pissed his pants, right in front of me!”
I chuckled heartily, making sure not to spill my coffee in the interior of our police cruiser. I was glad Emma had these stories of hers. It made our evening patrols way more bearable. After a minute of laughter, Emma calmed down enough to take a sip from her coffee, sighing in content afterwards.
“Shit,” I said, a few laughs still able to escape from me as I rubbed my head, “I guess I missed all the fun, huh?”
“Don’t worry, Nolan,” Emma reassured with a wave of her hand, “There’ll be plenty of time for you to see some weird stuff.”
I gave a small grunt of amusement before I glanced out the passenger window I sat next to, seeing the dark clouds lingering above. “Looks like we’re going to have rain,” I noted, finishing off my cup of coffee.
“About time,” Emma said, running a hand through her black hair - which was tied in a bun - as the other hand leaned against the steering wheel, “We haven’t had some decent rain in weeks. I’m looking forward to it.”
I looked over to her in disbelief, but before I could question her statement, the police scanner, situated in the center of the console, crackled to life.
A male voice came through, one that seemed so distinct for some reason in my mind, “Nearby units, we have a three-nine-oh on fifty-four thirty-one Baker Street. Any available units, please respond, over.”
“Baker Street,” I repeated, “That’s on the other side of town. So, we let another patrol handle it.”
Emma nodded approvingly, “Nice. I’m glad my training has finally got inside that thick head of yours.”
“All in a day’s work,” I replied cheekily with a smile. And I was right, as another unit, who was indeed closer, responded, taking the call. A minute of silence fell upon the car as I stared off into space.
“You alright?” Emma asked, and I gave a deep sigh, leaning back in my seat.
“I dunno,” I admitted with a shrug, “I guess I’m just bummed out that we had to go on patrol on our two year anniversary.”
“It’s only for thirty more minutes,” Emma reminded with a chuckle, shaking my shoulder. “Just hang in there.”
I smirked at her attitude before nodding, and just when I did, the police scanner went off again, this time a female voice, “Any available units, we have a four-one-seven on Central Avenue. Any available units, please respond, over.”
“Now that’s us,” Emma noted picking up the black receiver and holding it close to her mouth. As she pressed the button on the side, she said, “Dispatch, this is patrol unit one-oh-six, responding to the four-one-seven, over.”
As Emma started up the car, I took our empty coffee cups, setting them in the cup holders as the women on the other end of the scanner replied, “Roger that, one-oh-six, over.”
“Person with a firearm, huh?” I said, slipping my seatbelt on. Emma did the same with a humorous smile, driving the car out of the alleyway where we were parked.
“Probably just some teenager waving around his toy gun,” she stated with a shake of her head. “We’ll check it out, report back to dispatch, and still have enough time to go out to dinner.”
“I was thinking more of a movie,” I joked, glancing out the window and watching the buildings pass by, idly rubbing my cleanly shaven chin. It didn’t take too long for us to arrive at our destination: the skeleton of a new building being put up. The only thing that could be recognized was the beams that made up the outline. As Emma reported to dispatch of our position, I climbed out of the vehicle, my eyes searching for our suspect.
All I could see were shovels, mixers, tools, and other such things strung around, including a few vehicles off to the side and a trailer on the far side of the lot. The whole place had an eerie feeling to it, like we were being watched.
“A construction yard?” I questioned as Emma walked up beside me, examining the surroundings as much as I did. “Why would a kid be running around here?”
Emma rolled her eyes walking forward as we kept our senses tense in case something jumped us. “You always forget that not everything is that simple,” she said, “Always expect the unexpected.”
“Right,” I said with a sigh, bowing my head slightly, “Sorry ‘bout that.”
“Just concentrate on what’s going on,” she stated, patting my back. Suddenly, her face lit up, remembering something. She stuck her hand out to my chest, stopping me, before putting her hands on her hips as she looked at me slyly. “You remember our promise to each other?”
I groaned, covering my eyes as I shook my head. She brought this up every time we were on duty. “Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, lifting my hand off of my head as I gave a small smile, “Might as well get it over with.”
Emma giggled, as she stood up straight, “I promise to keep you safe, Nolan.”
With a quick sigh, I said, “And I promise to keep you safe, Emma.”
Nodding in satisfaction, Emma walked off, picking up her previous pace. As for myself, I crossed my arms with an annoyed expression as I watched her. We had made that promise every day since we had first met. Keeping each other safe was a no brainer, and I didn’t know why we had to recite it all the time. We barely got shot at to begin with, and when we were under fire we were hardly injured. It just wasn’t very practical.
Shaking out of my thoughts, I ran after Emma, slowing down as I walked beside her in silence. We were nearing the other side of the lot with no one in sight. From a simple glance, I could tell Emma wasn’t liking what was going on, and neither was I.
As we strolled through, my eyes caught sight of a soft glow of light behind the trailer. I narrowed my eyes, suspicion building in my stomach. “You see that?” Emma asked, her voice quieter than before, “The light?”
“Yeah,” I answered just as quietly, knowing that we may actually be dealing with someone brandishing a firearm. We needed to tread carefully. “Have a plan?”
“Need more info first,” she explained as we slowed our footsteps, approaching as quietly as we could. I gave a faint nod at her answer, my eyes glued to the corner where the mysterious light was. The sound of faint talking reached my ears, causing me to perk my head out, trying to hear what they were saying. They were rushed, frantic, and a bit nervous, but I couldn’t tell what they were speaking of.
Then, their shadows came into view, thanks to the light, and before Emma or I could move out of the way, two people, dressed in black hoodies came around the corner. They instantly caught sight of us, stumbling back as Emma and I froze up. It was so sudden and unexpected - even though we were supposed to expect those - that we hesitated.
“Shit!” one of them shouted, diving back behind the trailer, “It’s the cops!”
And that’s when shots were fired. Men came around the same corner, more than I could count, and were firing on us. I couldn’t figure out why they would instantly open fire on us, nor did I have the time as Emma and I retreated to cover. We drew our weapons; mine being Vera, and Emma’s being a standard-issue handgun.
We reached one of the trucks that were parked, and hid behind it as bullets whizzed by us. It was a wonder that we weren’t already dead. We were in the open, and there must have been at least half a dozen guys firing on us.
“I’ve been hit,” Emma hissed, crouching down as she reached a hand behind her back, rubbing the spot where a bullet had hit her bulletproof vest. At the time, I was glad that it was mandatory to wear them.
I grunted in dismay, eyeing her wearily, “It’s a wonder you were able to keep up with me.”
“Expect the unexpected, remember?” she said, smiling despite the pain that she must have been in. Shaking my head, I stepped up to the edge of the vehicle, peeking behind it. The shooters were in cover, still firing on our position. The darkness of the night didn’t help either, but thankfully the moon was out, lighting up the area like a far away spotlight. In this situation, we would have clearance to engage and return fire, but we needed back up.
“You think we can make a break for the car?” I asked Emma, taking a few shots to drive away anyone from approaching us.
“Too many people firing at us,” Emma said, rolling her shoulders as she stood back up to full height. “We need to take out a few first.”
Giving a curt nod, I aimed my revolver at someone reloading their handgun in the open, and fired a single bullet through their chest. They fell to the floor, crying out, and a guy next to him flinched, allowing me to take him out with a shot as well.
Slipping back into cover, I retrieved a few bullets for my revolver, and swung open the cylinder. As I reloaded, I could hear Emma firing her pistol, and the cries of pain confirmed that she was making her shots count. She wouldn’t be the sharpest shooter in the station if she couldn’t. Smirking, I shut the cylinder of my revolver, placed the extra bullets back in my pouch, and got ready to shoot.
“No need,” I heard Emma say beside me, and when I looked at her, I saw her hold her pistol upright with a superior smirk. “I took enough of them out. Let’s get going.”
“Right,” I replied before I checked around the corner, waiting for the right moment to head for our car. Once I detected a lull in the gunfire, I sprinted for the car, Emma on my heels. As soon as we returned to the car, we ran around it, and crouched behind it.
Emma opened up the passenger door, which faced away from our shooters, and reached in for the receiver. Meanwhile, I fired on anyone that poked their head out, keeping them at bay as Emma spoke to dispatch. I didn’t catch what she said exactly - especially with the situation we were in - but I knew that more units were incoming.
After finishing up, Emma slammed the door to the cruiser shut, taking a position in the back while I was still crouched at the front. Gunshots tore up our vehicle; shattering glass, popping tires, and all in all making a big mess.
The minutes whittled away as Emma and I shot at our shooters, and one by one, they fell. The backup was sure taking its time, but I didn’t pay it much mind. After what felt like an hour had passed, the shooting had finally stopped. The silent pause that followed was daunting as we held our breaths waiting for someone or something to happen. Eventually, I peeked over the hood where I was crouched, and considering that I wasn’t immediately fired upon, the area must have been cleared.
Still, the lesson that Emma had been prattling about all night rang in my head as I pointed my revolver around, almost begging for another person to jump out. Emma did the same, and together, we walked around the cruiser, seeing only the bodies of dead shooters. Sighing, I lowered my gun, slumping my shoulders as I breathed easy for the first time since arriving to the construction site. With a few more glances around, I turned to Emma, who hadn’t lowered her guard for a moment.
“I think we can relax now,” I deadpanned, holstering my revolver.
“I dunno,” Emma replied, uncertainty evident on her face.
“Come on,” I said with a dismissive wave, “They would have shot at us by now.”
Emma eyed me for a second before sighing herself, her gun hanging by her side as she held it limply. “I guess you're right,” she muttered, “I must be getting paranoid.”
I chuckled as I gripped her shoulder, shaking her a bit in good fun. “Come on, let’s wait in the car until another unit arrives, have them clean up the mess.”
Unfortunately, as soon as Emma nodded at my words, she glanced back at the construction sight, and gave a sharp gasp. “Nolan, watch out!” she shouted, diving towards me. My eyes widened when I heard a gunshot, and when we landed on the ground with Emma on top of me, I could hear her breathing raggedly.
As quickly and gently as I could, I pushed Emma off, wishing that I had time to find out where she was hit. Instead, I jumped to my feet and drew my revolver, sweeping over the area again for the shooter. I found him, struggling on the ground as his pistol clicked empty, desperately trying to kill me.
Growling, I fired a bullet, hitting him in the head and killing him instantly. I didn’t feel a shred of remorse or pity. With the threat taken care of, I hastily holstered my revolver, kneeling to the side of Emma as her breathing worsened.
I slipped my hands around her body, hastily searching for her bullet wound. As my hand slipped over the side of her stomach, I felt a wetness slid along my hand, and when I brought it up to my face, I saw that it was blood. Lots of blood.
I placed my hand back over her wound, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. My face was stricken in panic, but I tried to rid it by keeping myself busy. “Come on, Emma,” I said, my own breathing increasing, “Stay with me here.”
Emma, for her part, was resting her head on the ground, her eyes already looking droopy from blood loss. Seeing this, I put more pressure on the wound as I slipped my other hand, under her head, giving her some comfort.
“You're going to make it,” I said, swallowing as my throat suddenly went dry, raindrops beginning to fall from above, “you’re going to make it.”
Emma raised a hand up to my face, resting it on my cheek as she looked up to me with a pained smile on her face. Her mouth opened, and her speech was so quiet, I had to strain my ears to hear her.
“I’m glad I was able to keep you safe,” she said, then without warning, the arm that was held up to my cheek fell limp as she closed her eyes.
I was in shock, my mind unable to accept the circumstances that fell upon me as I began to speak incoherently. “Emma…” I whispered pitifully, shaking her a bit. “Emma!”
She didn’t move. She didn’t speak. I shook her again, but there was still nothing.
“Don’t do this to me,” I begged bringing her head up to me in a hug, “Don’t leave me like this!”
Sirens were sounding in the distance, but I hardly took notice. The rain was falling even harder, but I shrugged it off. I hugged Emma tighter with each passing moment, and found myself rocking back and forth with her in my arms, desperating wanting her to wake up. Wanting her to come back. Tears were falling from my eyes before I knew I was even crying, landing on Emma’s shoulder and mixing with the falling rain.
She was gone. She was truly and utterly gone, and there wasn’t anything that could change it.
{~+~}
“What the fuck do you mean I can’t come in!?” I screamed at the man that was Emma’s father. I was standing outside of a church, the funeral for Emma about to be held, wearing a black suit with no tie.
“Why do you think?” Emma’s father growled, crossing his arms as he stood in front of the entrance. He had on a suit as well, but his was dark gray, matching perfectly with his hair. “It was your fault she was killed in the first place.”
My anger dissipated at that statement. I opened my mouth to argue, but I closed it instead. How could I argue against that when he was right? Finally, I was able to speak, calming myself enough to do so.
“It… it was out of our hands. We…” I said, trailing off as I bowed my head again. Since Emma’s father was a friend of the chief of police, it didn’t take long for him to find out the details about what had happened.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Nolan,” he said, jabbing a finger at my chest. “You didn’t double check the area, and Emma had to save your sorry ass and sacrificed herself to do it!”
“I know,” I said loudly, “I was careless, and I blame myself for it, but you have to let me attend this. It means a lot to me.”
“I don’t have to do anything for you,” he said, turning away from me as he opened the door, “It was your fault that she died, and I’m not letting someone like you come to my daughter’s funeral!”
With that he slammed the door shut, leaving me out in the cold, my guts clenching up from his words. Tears were welling up, but I clamped my eyes shut as I took a few steps away from the door, feeling numb from both the cold and the self-blame. I couldn’t really be mad at him.
He was right after all.
{~+~}
I waited on the edge of the cemetery, a single violet rose in my hands. I watched as Emma’s burial took place near the center. The gathering was large, more than I had anticipated. She must have had a lot of family and friends, more than I gave her credit for. The blue sky was devoid of clouds as I saw the coffin holding Emma being placed in the grave. I couldn’t see very well as the people stood tightly together, obscuring my view.
My mind drifted away from me, and I wondered what I would say. An apology, a promise, a memory; all options that I could say, and probably would say.
The time ticked by, and eventually the burial had officially ended, as many people left for the parking lot, their heads hung low in respect. There were still quite a few people around Emma’s grave, but soon those numbers dwindled until there was no one left. Their wasn’t even a person in the cemetery that I could see. I was alone, and it terrified me.
I knew I had my chance to finally pay my respects to her, but my legs wouldn’t obey, and I found myself shaking. My hands played with the flower in my hand as I tried to force myself to go through with it, but without much success.
At last, I took a step forward, followed by many more. Emma’s grave was in plain sight, and the closer I got, the more my gut tightened. I passed by other tombstones, hardly giving them a second thought. I slowed to a stop, standing over Emma’s grave at last. Her tombstone was elegantly carved, having the impression of love that she always expressed when we hung out together. The message was clear as day itself, and I read it aloud, mostly to remind myself that this was real.
“Emma Margaret,” I read, my mind barely processing that I was speaking at all. I skimmed over the years of life and read the message underneath. “A loving daughter and outstanding officer.”
I was there. I finally had my chance to speak to Emma, though I wished it was face to face. Instead, I stood there, staring at her grave as if it would disappear.
“Hi, Emma,” I whispered, “I just…”
I clammed up, my mind running a wide blank. I couldn’t think of anything to say, and I was hating myself for it. It was my fault she had died, and I couldn’t think of something thoughtful to say on her burial?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered out, my eyes training on my shoes, “If I hadn’t been so careless, If I had paid attention… If I had expected the unexpected, you’d be here right now. But why? Why do you get to keep your promise? I couldn’t, and I can never forgive myself for that. I can see why you made us say that promise to ourselves. You wanted it to mean something.”
I took a few steps forward, resting a hand on her tombstone, the tears stinging my eyes. “I might not have been able to keep my promise, but I will keep others safe. As an officer.”
I ground my teeth, placing the flower on top of the marble with shaky hands as I gripped it tightly with my other hand.
“Please,” I wheezed out, sobbing quietly as tears ran down my face, “Please forgive me, Emma. I couldn’t protect you, I couldn’t keep you safe, and I can't go on without you for very long."
I was met with silence, not even a gust of wind made a sound as it pushed past me. I remained there for some time, until the sun was hovering over the horizon. In that time, I brought up memories of times with Emma and I. Happy times. Ones that could never be repeated.
As the hours passed, I could feel my heart hardening, locking up my emotions. There wasn’t a chance I would let anyone who thought they could kill get away. I had already avenged Emma, but I needed to avenge others that had died.
“I’m going to keep my promise this time,” I said at last, turning away from her grave. I liked to think I had kept that promise. I liked to think that.
{~+~}
I stared at my lap, waiting for some sort of response from the three ponies that had finally learned of my tale. The cigarette that hung in my mouth was nothing but an orange stub at that point, having burned away. I took it out, staring at it a moment before gently flicking it to the ground. I had surprised myself by telling them about Emma’s funeral and burial. It slipped out, but I was glad it did. It just felt sort of right to tell them what had happened in the end.
I heard crying that I hadn’t noticed before, and looking up, I saw that all three of them were sobbing. Their faces were practically drenched with their tears, and they closed their eyes to stop the flow.
“Anyway,” I muttered with a shrug, feeling a bit dull after reliving those memories, “That’s what happened. It’s not as bad as what you guys have been through, but-”
Suddenly, Fluttershy leaped towards me, wrapping her forelegs around my neck as she cried into my chest. The gesture caught me off guard, causing me to gawk at her. I didn’t think she would hug me so soon, considering what she had went through. I accepted it though, draping an arm over her in a return hug.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said softly through my chest, “I-I’m sure that E-Emma was a nice person.”
I didn’t say anything, and simply hugged her tighter. Words couldn’t describe how much I missed Emma, and I knew that they understood that. Even still, I had only lost one person that was special to me. These ponies had lost their homes, their way of life, their freedom, and their loved ones. It bothered me that they were crying over what haunted my mind when they went through worse hardships.
After a moment of hugging Fluttershy, she pulled away, lifting a hoof to wipe away her tears. It was at that moment that Carrot Top walked to my side, looking me dead in the eyes with her saddened green ones.
Then she leaned forward and kissed my cheek, closing her eyes as she did.
I froze in shock, my mind registering what she had done. It was a bit fuzzy and warm, but it was a kiss nonetheless, and that’s all that mattered to me. When the kiss ended, she lingered near my face, almost relishing it for a moment before taking a few steps away from me. Her gaze was downward, but Applejack stood next to me this time, making me turn to her.
“E-Everypony's problems matter, Sugarcube,” she muttered, her breathing raggy after crying. “Don’t think for a moment that what ya went through ain’t important.”
“It-” I said right before Applejack put a hoof over my mouth, silencing me instantly.
“Please,” she begged, the tears building up again, “Please don’t.”
I sighed as she set her hoof down, nodding at her words. The point she was trying to make was that we all experienced loss, and it always mattered, even if it was just a single person. I always thought that someone who went through the most loss was supposed to get more recognition. I was wrong.
My finality hardening as I looked at each pony in turn, knowing who was behind these ponies’ sadness. “We will take back your home,” I muttered, causing their ears to perk as they faced me. “There won’t be any more pain.”
There was silence for a while, until Fluttershy smiled, “Thank you.”
Words affected people in significant ways, and those two words were no different.
{~+~}
After our story telling, we finally fell asleep. Well, the ponies did, I stayed awake a bit longer to make sure no one would jump us. AJ didn’t question it, and in fact, took a turn after she woke up at around sunrise. It was several more hours before any of us got a good amount of rest. We explained to Fluttershy that Rainbow Dash would pick us up the next day, causing her to grow excited at seeing her childhood friend. I was glad she had some good news. After months of being a sex slave, good news must have been rare for her.
We also told her about what happened to us, with a few chuckles along the way when we thought back. Fluttershy was particularly touched when I told her about what happened at the prison, and hoped to meet Alex someday to thank him. The feeling was mutual for me as well.
Our times together in Equestria somehow shifted to my times back on Earth. So I told the group of ponies the misadventures that Emma and I had, most of them ending in laughter. It felt great to have the ponies smiling and laughing, and I understood why Pinkie loved what she did.
The next day, I opted to check my weapons, just to make sure I knew where I stood with my offensive capabilities. Since I was using my revolver more than my shotgun, I was able to save on ammunition, having about thirty-one shotgun shells left. Still, it was the only shells I had left, and even with my conservation, they were still diminishing.
“Nolan?” Fluttershy called beside me where I sat, making me jump with the shotgun in my hold. “Oh, sorry.”
“No, no,” I waved off, turning to her, seeing her apologetic look. “It’s fine, I should have been paying attention.”
Fluttershy really was sweet to put others before herself in every situation, but at the same time, it was a bit annoying. She didn’t need to apologize for everything that got a reaction out of me.
“I just wanted to ask, um, what kind of animals you had where you came from,” she requested, facing away from me, “That is, if you want to.”
“Animals?” I asked, raising a brow as I put my shotgun back on my back.
“Oh yes,” she nodded, her eyes full of wonder, “I love animals, I used to be the animal caretaker for Ponyville before…”
She trailed off, bowing her head as her wonder evaporated on the spot. She didn’t need to finish that sentence, as I was able to figure out what she meant. Thinking over her proposition, I knew I had nothing to lose, and maybe I could cheer her up a little bit. It bothered me that she was that open with me. Applejack told me she was really shy around strangers. I hoped that her time with the humans hadn’t tainted her kindness. Then again, Applejack also said that Fluttershy needed to be more assertive, so it could have been a good thing as well.
“Well,” I started, bringing a hand to my chin in thought. Fluttershy was knocked out of her revery as she looked at me with interest. “We have lots of animals. Lions, tigers, bears, and such.”
“Oh my,” Fluttershy whispered, lifting a hoof to her mouth. It wasn’t out of fright, but I couldn’t tell what it could have been.
“Do you have similar animals?” I asked, forgetting how parallel this world was with my own.
“Of course,” she answered with a fond smile. “I cared for many woodland creatures. Rabbits, squirrels, mice, birds, bears…”
The list went on for quite a while, a smile growing on my lips with each passing second. Eventually, I chuckled loudly, causing her to stop and look at me with confusion.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, a hint of hurt in her tone.
“It’s just how many animals you cared for,” I explained kindly, gesturing a hand to her for emphasis.
“Oh,” she blinked, staring straight ahead for a moment before giving a soft giggle herself. “That is a little funny.”
I shook my head, a broad smile still on my face. It quickly dropped, however, when a shadow passed over us. With only a glance at Fluttershy’s startled expression, I whipped my head to the sky expecting the worst. Unfortunately, the shadow had left, and I got a face full of sunshine as a reward.
I winced, pulling my eyes away as I rubbed them. And while I was doing that, I heard a collective gasp from the three girls, and what sounded like a rough landing of wood.
“Rainbow!” Fluttershy shouted, her hooves running towards something.
Pulling my hands away, I looked over to where I heard the noises, seeing everyone crowd around Rainbow, who had finally arrived with the carriage in tow. Fluttershy was hugging her tightly, and Rainbow was doing the same right back, their faces in pure joy. Honestly, it was quite heartwarming to see two good friends reunited.
After a moment, they broke apart, looking at each other with delight and happiness. “I can’t believe they actually found you, Fluttershy!” Rainbow expressed a wide smile on her face. It was probably the first time I saw her smile like that.
“Had doubts, did you?” I joked as I stepped towards them, a cocky smile on my face.
The confident smirk on Rainbow’s face told me that she had a snappy retort of her own, but when she opened her mouth to reply, AJ cut her off. “Glad you could finally make it, RD,” she thanked with a nod, “Let’s get goin’ back to Las Pegasus now. I wanna get back with Applebloom and the others”
The mention of the city made the expression on Rainbow’s face turn serious as she glanced to each of us. “That reminds me,” she said, causing our own smiles to fade into curiosity, “Princess Cadance and Twilight know what to do next, thanks to Nolan.”
“Me?” I asked incredulously, pointing a finger to myself as everyone looked to me.
“Yeah,” Rainbow nodded, “You know, the idea to get help to take back Equestria.”
I had somewhat forgotten about that, but I was glad that they had taken my advice. “That’s good to hear, I suppose,” I said with a shrug, “Who are you getting help from first?”
Rainbow gave a long sigh, one that sounded very stressful, “The Pegasi at Cloudsdale.”