"Ah, I wonder if my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, is around," Princess Celestia thought to herself. In her carriage, she travelled to Ponyville. As she reached the little town, she was warmly greeted by Twilight.
"Princess!" the purple unicorn cried out. "My friends and I have put up a little surprise for your arrival. If you please, follow me!"
Celestia looked confused, as she followed the over-excited unicorn to the auditorium.
----
Twilight cleared her throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - "
She shouted into her announcer microphone-thingy. "THE TALE OF TWOOOOO PONNIIIEEESSSS!!!"
"Of course," Twilight said. She shouted, "ACTIOONNNN!!!!"
The stage lights went dim. Rarity, dressed up in a beautiful red dress of silk, stepped out of the curtain.
She cleared her throat. "Being a Princess, all day, all night. 'Tis the night I feared most. Why, even those beggar ruffians are better off than I." she mourned, putting on a sad face.
Fluttershy smiled nervously, whispering, "P-P-Princess, why do thou mourn?"
Rarity sighed and said, "Fair mule, fair mule."
Fluttershy twitched her ears (which were in a mule costume,) just as she had done before.
"Thou understandeth not," Rarity said. "'Tis the day we shall be married, to somepony we cannot imagine."
"O beautiful lady of the East," Fluttershy whimpered. "Take heart, and the solution shall come to thee. I-I-I take my l-l-leave."
Fluttershy rushed off stage, feeling more confident than ever.
"Take heart, she tells me," Rarity wailed. "How? HOW?!"
"And there was a silence then," Twilight narrated, reading from her book. "Princess Fairity did not bother herself anymore about the situation. And then, the colt appeared."
"Father, I do not wishest to marry this young colt," Rarity cried out.
Scootaloo appeared on stage
"Why, hello, Princess, O most lovely of ponies," the orange filly said, trying to stifle her laughter. "You - I mean, thou art the --"
"Pray tell me, who art thou?" Rarity asked, in disgust.
"My name, O graceful pony of the East, is Scooby-Doo," Scootaloo introduced herself, kissing Rarity's hooves, and nearly throwing up.
"Charmed, Scooby-Doo," Rarity said. She brought her hoof up quickly, causing it to knock against Scootaloo's jaw. "Ow!" the filly cried out, grasping her jaw and howling in pain.
"My apologies, Scoot-by-Doo," Rarity gasped. "I'm afraid I did it again."
"Fair lady, I do not feel pain when thou art beside me," Scootaloo groaned. What would Rainbow Dash think of her if she found out the filly was doing this? "Let me introduce thee to my sister, Painbow Thrash."
Rainbow Dash zoomed out of the curtain, clad in shining armour. "Pleasure to meet thee, O ye of little strength," she shouted.
"Pleasure, O most powerful of counts," Rarity said, pleasantly.
"But Painbow Thrash's brother had something else in mind. One day, he entered the Princess's room, and locked the door behind him." Twilight narrated.
Celestia gasped, as the next scene went on.
AppleJack, dressed in dirty rags, whispered to Rarity, "Princess. O fair Fairity."
Rarity squealed. "What are you doing?!"
"What does it look like?" AppleJack asked. She spat out in disgust, "Twi? Do Ah have ta do this?"
"Of course!" Twilight snapped back, just as she had done before.
"Oh, please, stay away. Keep your distance," Rarity shrieked.
AppleJack faked a evil snicker. She pushed Rarity on a bed, and ripped out her costume. She did the same to Rarity.
"What do you think you're doing, AppleJack?"
"Jappleack," Twilight Sparkle corrected.
"Oh! Stop it! Stop it at once!"
"Get your dirty hooves off me, you ruffian!"
"Go away! Oh! Stop at once!"
"GO AWAY!!!"
"It wasn't long before somepony heard the desperate cries of the young Princess," Twilight Sparkle read out loud. "It happened to be the Jester, the Knight and his Dictionary."
"You leave her alone!" Pinkie Pie cried out, before seeing herself in the mirror, and laughing at her ridiculous costume, AGAIN.
"Oh? And uh..why? Ah can do as Ah please, Jester," AppleJack grunted. "Whaddya gonna do?"
"Keep making out with her and find out!" Sweetie Belle cried out, once more.
"Yer think? Come at me," AppleJack taunted. "Ah'm better than all of ya."
"Whaddya have in mind?" AppleBloom asked, brandishing her sword.
Twilight Sparkle continued narrating, singing, "And so then came the clashing and slashing of steel, as the brave lass AppleDoom charged in full of zeal! And the rapist named JappleAck was raping no moooooree… when his ugly red head rolled around on the floor!"
Celestia stared, eyes goggled. Was this really the faithful student she knew and loved so much?
"Oh, it was horrible!" Rarity squealed, paralysed to the floor. "AppleDoom - I knew you would save me!"
"Ah'm just doin' mah business, m'lady!" AppleBloom replied.
Rarity smiled and walked away.
"You have to kiss her!" Twilight shouted, in a loud whisper.
Rarity gulped. And so did Apple Bloom.
Celestia's eyes nearly popped out of her head, as the mare and filly...O.o
"Wait a minute! Is Apple Bloom kissing my sister?!" Sweetie Belle asked.
"No, Sweetie. It's all a fake," Rarity said.
"Sweetie Belle - dictionaries DON'T talk!" Twilight snapped.
"I don't wanna be the dictionary no more!" Sweetie Belle protested.
"Fine, you be the news-boy next door," Twilight grunted.
"Yay!" Sweetie Belle cried out.
"No more delays," Twilight said.
Rarity nodded. "Farewell, knight of the West," she said. "Untill we meet again."
Apple Bloom's heart beat fast, as she left the stage. She just hoped no one was watching her!
"And then a monster came. It happened to be Sweetie Derelle," Twilight said. "The colt - I mean, the filly next door. She screamed and beamed, howled and prowled, glowered and towered over the poor pony-folk downtown. Fairity gasped."
"Help me!" Rarity squealed, not too pleased at having to always be the damsel of distress. "I am in danger! O somepony! Help thy Princess!"
"And then a tall powerful figure appeared - Princess Molestia," Twilight read out.
Celestia's eyes shot up, as wide as saucers. What was Twilight Sparkle thinking when she wrote that fanfiction?
"I will save you!"
Celestia almost fainted. Who played Princess Molestia? She shifted her eyes from one part of the stage to another. DERPY?! Derpy Hooves?! Treachery! Offense!
Derpy, wearing a wonderful set of golden armour, stared at Rarity.
Rarity stared back. "Aren't you going to help me, Molestia?" she asked.
"Uh...yeah, but..." Derpy replied. She stared even harder. "You have a dot on your snout."
Rarity screamed, "Get me a mirror! And hurry up and save me, ye madmare!"
The play went on and on.
Celestia was horrified, but rather relieved when the play was over.
Twilight, the mane six, the CMC, and the other background ponies bowed before the Princess, and the crowd. "Thank you, thank you," Twilight said, proudly.
The crowd burst out laughing. "What kind of play was that? The story! The background!" somepony cried out.
One by one, they showed their displeasure. Twilight blushed furiously. This wasn't what she meant it to be! She thought her fanfiction was incredible, and very well-written. She thought all the filly-foolers, and lesbian parts were amazing especially!
But the Princess!
"So - do you like it, Princess?" Twilight asked, eyes lightened with hope.
"Um...." Celestia replied. She took to lying, since it was the only choice.
"Do you like it?" Twilight repeated. "Was it amazing?"
"It was lovely, Twilight."
"Lovely? I want it to be spectacular!" Twilight protested.
"Oh, Twilight," the alicorn laughed. She nuzzled her head against the unicorn's. "It WAS spectacular."
"Really?" Twilight cried out. "YES! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Yes YES! We'll have another play prepared for you next visit, Princess."
Celestia gulped, eyes shooting up, as wide as cartwheels.
Oh Celestia, you must've never seen Twilight's wild side yet. Believe me, she is just warming up!